WORDS OF WISDOM IN OUR TROUBLED TIMES!

Paranoia · Thu 17/07/2003 19:04:27

After all the conflict over the last few day and my own burdens, i thought i would post this despite whats gone on etc, hell it made me smile, its a crap post so i shall take my beating with sharp pointy sticks if needs be, just not the face its ugly enuff thx

A few words of wisdom. If you follow my teachings you won't go far wrong
in life.

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me,
for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for
the path is narrow. In fact, just f**k off and leave me alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a
flat tyre.

3. The darkest hour is just before dawn. So if you're going to steal
your neighbour's milk, that's the time to do it.

4. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.

5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be
promoted.

6. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.

7. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

8. If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try missing a
couple of mortgage payments.

9. Before you criticise someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you criticise them, you're
a mile away and you have their shoes.

10. If at first you don't succeed, sky diving is not for you.

11. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish,
and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

12. If you lend someone Â£20 and never see that person again, it was
probably worth it.

13. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

14. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windscreen.

15. Good judgement comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes
from bad judgement.

16. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put
it back in your pocket.

18. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

19. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.