The funniest things said in adventure games.

[MrColossal]

"Not with my box of bunnies"

any just about every line that Gary Owens delivers in space quest 4

thanks for playing king's quest 4, as usual, you've been a real pant load

[magintz]

Don't know many off by heart, but:

Hoagie talking about teh american flag - we need a babe in a leather bikini swinging a broad axe!

Ozzie Madrill - well digeridoo to you too (or was it guybrush)

Max - why's that lady handing all that money over to the man with the gun?
Sam - I don't think she wants to do it
Guy - Oh scary a dog and a bunny rabbit
Sam - Hey max, this guy doens;t think were scary
Max - Grrr.....

Made me laugh

Eagles on pogostick's was brilliant tho

umm....

I'm selling these fine leather jackets and all the different poeples replies

[Nacho]

When Guybrush´ crew starts a mutiny and Guybrush pressures them to get back to work.

(Meathook)-Guybrush, do you know what "keelhaul" means?

Whatever Guybrush try to answer, the character will say: Ok, I understand.

(Keelhaul was a painfull pirate punsihement... A trip for the ship´s keel... Not only just for the lack off oxygen but also because the selves produced a lot of cuts in the skin of the punished...)

[Dave Gilbert]

Sam and Max:
MAX: My little buddy here needs to use the facilities.
SAM: Facilities be damned!  I need a bathroom.

Cabbages and Kings:
MELT: How'd you get here so fast?
DRAKE: I used the map screen.
MELT: Map screen?  Don't you know those things are bad for the environment?

Feeble Files
ROBOT: Permission to slaughter them all, sir!

[Timosity]

LSL3

LARRY: "Hey, Bambi," you cry, struggling to raise the lid, "how do you get this thing up?"

BAMBI: "That's YOUR problem, Larry. I'd just like to raise the lid of this tanning booth!"

BAMBI: "Larry, help! It's stuck!!"

LARRY: "No, it's not; I'm just having trouble moving with this lid on my back!"

[Harvester]

Larry 6

Narrator: You can't steal that guitar.
Larry: Why not?
Narrator: Because it's not a STEEL guitar.
Narrator: (Drum fill)

And just about the entire Eric The Unready game.

[Punch]

"Oi! Who's been messing with this? It was an entrance when I came in!"
- Rincewind, DW1

"Good grief? What are you keeping in there? And why is it all sticky? Oh, wait. I'd rather not know."
- Rincewind

"Aha! A Shape! A mysterious Shape! A sinister Shape! A Shape fraught with.... with... shape-ness. It must be a plot element, otherwise there'd be a better label."
- Guess.

"A girl? What's a girl doing in here?"
"I'm not a girl!"
"eh? Then why are you wearing a dress?"
"It's a Wizard's robe!"
And so on. The whole conversation with Windle Poons was awesome.

And the great running joke with the beggar, how he'd progressively cut bits and pieces off himself every act.

DW1 rocks. Hard. Everyone should hunt down a copy and buy it. Download if you must. My copy was signed by TP himself Huzzah!

"Boy, it must suck working inside a giant vacuum cleaner!" - Stupid Invaders

"Hey! Whaddya know? I really am big boned!" - Skeleton pirate, MI3

Murray in general. And so on. Most games have a few stand out quotes.

- Punch

[Ishmael]

The "That should do it" and "Now THAT should do it!" lines by the cannibals in MI1 cracked me off... because of the little they were putting on with the hut door...

[remixor]

DW1 rocks. Hard. Everyone should hunt down a copy and buy it. Download if you must. My copy was signed by TP himself Huzzah!

:o How'd you pull that one off?

[|Alky|]

I can't remember the exact lines, but the part in KGB where you are talking to the mental patients is pretty funny. And when you lock the guy in the room...classic.

[Punch]

Remix: He was signing books here. I gave him my DW1 box to sign. He said 'Wow' and got out a silver pen and signed it.

I remembered some more...

"As I stride through the gates of hell carrying your head on a pike!"
"Stride?"
"Alright then, roll! Roll through the gates of hell! Must you take the fun out of everything?"
- Murray & Guybrush (yeah, I know I said murray in general)

"I'm going to kill you. And you will scream while you die. And then, you will be dead."
- 'The Proffesional', Stupid Invaders

It's not really a line, but I always thought that it was pretty funny in DW1 when Rincewind's voice actory just changed for a couple of lines, for no apparent reason.

- Punch

[remixor]

Punch: Haha, that's pretty awesome.  I'll bet he was surprised.

And speaking of Murray, I just remembered this one from CMI:
Guybrush: "Moooooooo!  I am Moosferatu, the demonic Jersey cow"
Then Murray pledges his unholy devotion
Guybrush: "Naw, it's just me."

What a brilliantly random exchange.

[Domino]

Probably anything Laura Bow says in the Dagger of Amon Ra. I tried out this game the other day, and laughed at everything she said, it was really bad.  I remember looking at a Taxi sign on the side of the road, and how she mentioned something about this is where you wait for a taxi. It was so bad, i deleted it from my computer. There were other things she says too, but i forgot.  :

[Ciro Durán]

"Oh yeah, now I remember, he's incredibly evil, isn't he?"

Bernard - DOTT

(it's also the excellent voice from Richard Sanders )

[Gonzo]

A few that spring to mind, can't quote the second one exactly as I don't have  a savegame near there.

'The Secret Of Monkey Island', Guybrush goes to visit Meathook (a bald pirate with hooks for hands):

MEATHOOK: Who are you?
GUYBRUSH: I'm a pirate, cannonball-head, who are you?
MEATHOOK: My name's Meathook...And I think you've got a little attitude problem.
GUYBRUSH: Well, I think you've got a little hair problem.
MEATHOOK: Geeze! You just don't know when to quit, do you?
GUYBRUSH: Obviously, neither did your barber.
MEATHOOK: Why you... (chases Guybrush out the door)

'The Curse Of Monkey Island', Guybrush and Goodsoup in the hotel on Blood Island.

GOODSOUP: So it's my job to keep up the family tradition, booking rooms, mixing drinks...
GUYBRUSH: That's stirring.
GOODSOUP: Oh alright, stirring drinks.

[Rincewind]

Aye, Punch - That's really cool! If only I had a original copy of DW1... I've been looking for it for ages.
And great quotes as well!

Here's some more from DW1 & DW2:

(at the player, after clicking on Rincewind)
"That's it, now I'll turn you into an ugly toad!"
*Rincewind shuts up, and then looks at the screen*
"Gosh, it worked!"

"You know what they say - Diamonds are forever, but oranges are for halftime."