Props to Yahtzee, 5 days a stranger I hope im not infringing??

[Erenoth02]

  I have been writing a 17 page story for my English Creative Writing Class, Everyone in the class draws strips of paper from a bowl to choose the theme, setting, background characters and The Main characters for your story, once your finished you have to distribute  20 copys to the 19 students in the class and one for your teacher. I drew out "A haunted house" "A serial killer batteling a police officer" "7 strangers connected by fate", so I had to connect these in a 17 page story, im just glad i didnt get "an abondoned church" "an alien abductee" "a piece of paper" and "a coffee cup" as one poor student drew.

so im 11 pages into my story and suddenly ive realized that my story reminds me of 5 days a stranger, when i looked into it i realized that i had inadvertantly borrowed a used idea.

So the two main characters are batteling it out, John the cop happens to shoot Eli the killer in the eye, Eli had been murdering victims as a ritual to the dark god T'chesmuth of the occultist house he grew up in, his parents moved into the house and planned to renovate it and burn all of the occultist material that was in it, Eli's mother only wanted a girl, she hated boys so she would beat Eli as well as her husband would beat him. one day Eli had enough, and after he read from a book and heard about the  dark lord T'chesmuth who promised him immortality, he burned his parents while they were sleeping as a sacrifice to him, and went on to murder other famlies after, he buried these famlies under his mansion as stated in the book so that their tortured souls would power the house, however since John show him in the eye with a splintered bullet Eli was only able to bury one last family with 1 sole survivor a young girl who was hiding under the bed, John saved her. Sadly her mind went with Eli she was left insane and would later die.

I added the 7 other characters as the final sacrifice 8 all together including John, they all had taken part in Elis live, the doctor who delievered him, the psychatrist who committed him, a journalist who badmouthed him, an Fbi agent chasing him, two of the doctors who worked on him in the assylum and ofcourse as up with the times the phriest who abused him. all of which will meet ghrisly murders in Elis mansion the catch is that they cannot leave the house, if they break a window it magically reforms, the doors willnot open no matter what they cannot get out of this mansion.

John arrives at the house some time later after his car swearved from the road due to the pouring rain he cannot open the front door so he climbs through a window, when he finally meets the other 7 he passes out from a gash on his head, suddenly he is in a dream world, its dark and their are only mists and Eli is there explaining to John his plans to murder the whole lot. Eli finally succumbed to the bullet in his head and died after burying the family in his basement. but he still has some powers against the people in his mansion and john is powerless to save them, eventually John will discover the occult diarys and find the means to stop Eli. John will use is own blood to bring Eli into the real world with the very spell that Eli wanted to use to come back to life.

The reason John is still alive is because of the little girl he saved that one night, he kept encountering a horrifing dark entity in the house inbetween the dream state and reality appearing as a small demon with glowing red eyes that would hold Eli off whenver he got close to murdering john in the end when John kills Eli once he has come back to life putting him to rest forever he will get a call on his cell phone which finally works since the disturbances have been stopped telling him that the girl has passed away in the assylum but the good ending is that he is holding the hand of that very girl with the broken house in the background the demon disappered and released the girl whom John adopts

The whole story is supposed to be a very surreal experience with John shiftin inbetween realities, somthing like the silent hill games/movie but now I almost feel like im stealing The idea from 5 days a stranger?

[Stupot]

Sounds like something I'd read.
There's definitely Chzo vibes in there, but don't let that worry you.  You can't expect to be completely original.  5 Days (as much as I loved it) certainly borrowed elements from other sources.  And you seem to have a lot more else going on than just the Chzo-esque stuff.

Let us know when you've finished.

[Snake]

I agree with Stupot.

I would love to read this when it's finished

[Wyz]

"A haunted house" "A serial killer batteling a police officer tad" "7 strangers connected by fate", that's 7th Guest right there.

No, I don't think your story steals alot, some plot elements tend to get used over and over but that is just normal (except if your story is made up entirely out of stolen plot elements  ). It sounds like a story I'd like to read though, so do show it when it's finished.

[Erenoth02]

  well that works for me, im definatly stealing a few ideas from F.E.A.R. as it has been one of the most replayed games in my life, but im still trying to decide on the monsters/creatures out on the hunt, my theory is once somone starts to bleed it draws Eli, who can form on their blood pools, hense his ritualistic killings of the many familys where he drew symbols in their blood all over the walls. Which is how the first character is going to die, the ass of an Fbi agent who accidently shoots himself after hearing his own voice repeat his thoughts of Eli from his digital voice recorder, so hes bleeding shouting at the walls waving his gun wildly untill he feels somthing thrust into his bullet wound which is Eli, not fully formed but able to manipulate the envirment from the blood trail, somthing im excited for lol since the Fbi agent will have a very gruesome death.  :o

a small victory since he tried to be the arrogent leader of the small group and had it in for John, since he felt that John stole his thunder. 

[Erenoth02]

A side note on the abondoned church, the girl who drew these strange story elements is a fair writer, although she always tends to write storys from a male perspective, and talks about their cheating girlfriends or wives, somtimes I wonder if she may have had an operation... not that i would know.

but she wrote the story with the alien abuctee naked in the church parking lot, explaing alot of the strange things the aliens did to him, so he hated god, and broke into the church finding nothing in there except for alot of debree, she then wrote from the piece of papers perspective of how it flew out of a young girls backpack in a heavy wind and ended up drifting right into the alien abductees hands, he then feveriously drew alien symbols all over the paper trying to communicate his story, her story shifted again to the perspective of a heavyweight policemans coffee cop who complained about him and described the utter humilation of having hot coffie poured into it, comparing it to an enama lol, a little bit of anal probing humor, so the police officer arrives at the church investigating the break in told from the coffee cups perspective, the alien abuctee barfs up his guts into the poor coffee cup some kind of side effect, and he dies, the coffee cup moans and groans about it and eventually the police officer picks up the paper and crumpels it in disgust throwing it in the trash along with the coffee cup he will never use again. ending the story lol

[paolo]

Don't worry about inadvertently taking other people's ideas. There is nothing new under the sun.

The best advice I've seen on this is: "If someone else has already done your idea, do it anyway and do it better."

[Sam.]

It sounds like your English teacher has issues.

No-one drew "A stroll in the Park?" or "Too many puppies isn't always a good thing"?

AND your english teacher can't spell Battling?