Adventure Game Studio

Rashomon Style

Maybe you are familiar with the movie Rashomon by Akira Kurosawa, and if not, that's not a problem. Knowledge of this movie is no requirement to enter here. The point of this film is that several protagonists provide alternate versions of the same incident and you only get the whole picture in the end. This basic idea was used in a lot of different stories and movies. For some examples go here. (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RashomonStyle)

I want you to write a story like that. Tell us about an event in at least 2 versions. This can be two first person narrators, or a first person narrator and a third person omnipotent narrator, or it could be one narrator once telling the story to a child then to an adult, or the narrator is a child when he tells the story the first time and an adult the second time. Or anything else you could think of. As long as you tell us about the same incident (at least) twice, it's fine. It's not necessary that there is a true version.
You can connect these parts with a framing story, but that is not absolutely necessary either. You can simply put them as two chapters, if you prefer it like that.

The deadline for this round is the 23. August.

Enjoy writing and good luck!

Great theme.  I really liked the movie Vantage Point which does this, revealing more information about the event from a different perspective.

Also, there's a great Episode of the X-files (Bad Blood) where Mulder and Scully each tell their versions of an event, and there are some hilarious discrepancies between the two stories (for example, Scully remembers one character (a sheriff or deputy iirc) as being a handsome strapping chap, while Mulder remembers him as having buck-teeth (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K_1CSisIx4E)).

I've got some free time now so I'll be giving this one a go :-)

Great Theme, Sinitrena. Why is this competition so lonely? I wish I could participate but I don't think I'll manage it. I'm so sorry for missing this :(.

Chef!, Ponch, Armageddon, kconan, Baron, Ghost and other regular participants: Where are you? Come on people; write some stories, win some prizes.

A big thumbs up to Stupot+ for entering at the very first moment. :)

Btw, here's the Ponch signal (once again - credits to Baron). Maybe this will lure him  :=:

(http://www.vanwijst.com/games/B&O/ponch_signal.JPG)

Yeah, I'm on board.  It's an interesting challenge in a short story context.  Just to be clear, as long as the event is described twice from different perspectives, it doesn't necessarily have to be two distinct tellings, right?  I was toying with the idea of two narrators concurrently telling two versions of the same event -would that be allowed?

Also, for other comps (i.e. MAGS) we can team up.  Would that be allowed?  Not that I'm directly considering it at the moment, but I think it'd be fun and would work well for this theme.

Thanks for calling out to our regular participants, Adeel. It's still early in the comp, I'm sure they'll show up.  :wink:

Quote from: Baron on Sun 11/08/2013 19:17:39
Just to be clear, as long as the event is described twice from different perspectives, it doesn't necessarily have to be two distinct tellings, right?  I was toying with the idea of two narrators concurrently telling two versions of the same event -would that be allowed?

That's not what I had in mind, but it's certainly not against the rules I set, so yes, that's allowed. And it's always good to think beyond the original rules. (nod)

Quote from: Baron on Sun 11/08/2013 19:17:39
Also, for other comps (i.e. MAGS) we can team up.  Would that be allowed?

Sure. I think that's a great idea, especially for this theme.

Late entrant, but I just got an inspiration and will do my best to write something short over the next couple of days.

I'm working on something on-and-off which should be done in a day or two.

Thee segments, thee sources, three different takes. I hope you enjoy.

[CONFIDENTIAL] - [Property of: ââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆ police department ââ€"ˆ.ââ€"ˆ] Date: 07.23.2013 First-hand account of the ââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆ ââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆ mall explosion, which killed ââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆ individuals and fatally injured ââ€"ˆââ€"ˆ individuals on ââ€"ˆââ€"ˆPM ââ€"ˆââ€"ˆ.ââ€"ˆââ€"ˆ.ââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆ. ----- Subject ââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆ ââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆ ââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆ. Age: ââ€"ˆââ€"ˆ. SSID: ââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆ-ââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆ Interviewing officer: ââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆ ââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆ ----- Q: Can you please state your name for the record A: ââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆ ââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆ ââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆ Q: Can you tell us what you were doing at the time of the explosion? A: I was  talking to the clerk staffing the deli meats section. I had almost finished shopping and was about to leave, when I heard shouting. Q: Could you see who was shouting? A: No. It was a man, a low gravelly voice. Q: What was he saying? A: I don't remember all of it. It was something about it ‘all being lies' and how we were all blind to not see it. He said he would make us see. Q: I see. What did you do then? A: I heard someone saying they would call the police. That's when it happened. Q: Can you describe in any detail what followed? A: No. There was a loud noise, a flash of white light, then orange, then red. I remember the pain, shards of glass and the feeling that I was flying. Then I think I blacked out for a moment. Q: You came to your senses later? A: Yes, I woke up to the sounds of sirens. There was shouting and crying. I was lying in the broken glass near the back of the store. It was very dark, save for the faint red glow of the flames. I remember being wet and cold, despite the fires. Q: How long did it take for rescuers to arrive? A: I don't know, I didn't have my watch with me. It felt like an eternity, and all I could do was sit there, listening to that man. Q: Man? A: I think it was him that set off the bomb. He said so. Q: He did? A: Yes. He said he did it so that we could see the truth. He said there were more like him, people who wanted to speak true and be free of lies, and that the police would try to cover everything up. Q: I see. I'm sure that will not happen. Did he say anything else? A: He said others would take over for him now that he was done. I don't think he was too injured, but he seemed to be sure he was going to die. Did he make it? Q: can you describe him? A: A tall man, skinny. Thick beard and glasses, I think. I'm pretty sure he was pale. Was he rescued? Q: I can't be sure based on that description. I'll see if I can find out. Did you get his name? A: No, he never said his name. He got awfully quiet later, but I'm sure he was breathing. I could smell his breath. Q: What happened then? A: We just sat there. I couldn't move with both my legs broken. It's funny, really, the pain doesn't kick in until after, when you're out of there. I remember the firemen and the paramedics, the gave me painkillers and took me out of there. Q: Thank you, you've been very helpful. A: No, thank you. It helps to talk. Can I go now? [Interview ends]

-

1 month later ----- Six unmarked vans drive at high speed, entering the quiet suburb just before dawn. The six vehicles part ways at predetermined waypoints and approach their targets. The six vehicles park next to six houses, each unloading a team of special forces soldiers and federal agents, all armed with bulletproof vests, gas masks, silenced submachine guns and laser sights. “Okay, listen up!” The men's breaths form a thin fog before their eyes as they encircle their squad leaders behind the cover of their armored vehicles. “One month ago an international terrorist cell attempted an act of bioterrorism in this very town. Intel boys have worked hard and we now have six houses to strike, and a total of fourteen persons to either detain or terminate. All persons within these houses are deemed armed and extremely dangerous, so lethal force is authorized on all persons resisting arrest.” The men click their weapons' safeties off and nod silently. A dog barks somewhere in the distance, the sound abruptly cutting short. A shiver runs down the squad leader's spine. “I want CS gas in through the windows, entry through the front door. Fast and efficient. We have two minutes to secure the house, two more the extract. Clear?” A whispered acknowledgement. “These are evil people we're going after, suicide bombers and madmen. Keep that in mind. Let's do this.” The men move, like living shadows in the night. The thin morning fog is sliced by the bright red beams of laser sights. The following minutes are filled with breaking glass, hissing gas, crying children, surprised gasps and muffled thuds of silenced firearms. Three minutes and sixteen seconds later the van's engines start again and the vehicle drives off unceremoniously. Flames lick the air, flickering in the shattered windows, reaching after the thick black smoke drifting up into the sky.

-

ââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆ Times - Special edition	Sunday / 08.25.2013
Serial arsonist apprehended! A suspected serial arsonist was apprehended last night, by local police forces patrolling the western suburbs. The suspect, an unnamed male, has apparently used a motorcycle to quickly move from site to site, setting off homemade firebombs near people's homes. Six homes were destroyed and so far the police have reported no survivors in any of the sites. According to police the arsonist had prepared to destroy up to 20 homes, arming himself with a large stash of propellant and other materials in his home. Read more on page 4.	(http://blog.desertrose.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/mcdonalds_id_hit_it_ad-jpg.jpeg)
NATIONAL NEWS A group of has-been Hollywood celebrities making a group-comeback  this year? It's more likely than you think, as Michael Bay has revealed his latest movie epic: Lord of the Flies, will be starred by a cast of over forty ex-hollywood child stars grown adult. The rumor mill is running and names are being tossed, but so far the cast of the upcoming blockbuster is a well kept secret. Cont pg 2.	LOCAL NEWS ââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆ  resident gather to pay their respects at the site ââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆ  mall, destroyed in the tragic gas explosion only a month earlier. At the site, having been demolished for safety reasons and currently undergoing a large-scale paving project to prepare the area as a parking lot for the new shopping mall scheduled to begin construction just two months from now, workers held a solemn silence to honour those who lost their lives in this tragic accident. Cont. pg 21.
SPORTS ââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆââ€"ˆ  local high-school basketball team a hotspot for state-wide talent? Coach says “Hell yes” and intends to prove it. For a full high-school basketball team roster, including player bio's, for the upcoming season, see page 10 and onwards.	ECONOMY Bradford & Sons security systems reports massive increase in home-security system sales over the last four weeks. News of nationwide terrorist threats against suburban America have shocked the residents of even the smallest suburbs and Stephen Bradford of Bradford & Sons Security says this has led to his business booming. Read expert's opinions on home security on pages 6 through 8.

Neat idea to use different media WHAM. I've started a little thing which is a bit silly, but still.

  The hidden cigar lounge smelled of sandalwood, cedar, and tobacco.  It was owned by Sal Tamasso, one of the top underbosses of the infamous Tamasso family.  The previous owner was hesitant to sell, especially for such a low price, but being dangled by helicopter over an alligator farm has a way of changing one's mind.  Currently in the cigar lounge were four very different people, all of whom were brought together by one unfortunate incident.

Sal's Stogie Saloon â€" Saturday, December 1st at 9:00 PM
Nicola Tomasso
I could be doing something productive instead of dealing with these two wretches while also being annoyed by my dribbling moron of a henchman.  Pacing back and forth in the small, humid room I eyeballed Jason Bratsky and the old man that only goes by the name “Howard”.  My own personal knuckledragger, Leo “Meaty Fist” Padrone, was obviously off in neverland again.  I yelled “Hey, focus on the task Leo!”
Leo Padrone
Those ships have to be difficult to stuff inside the bottle.  Why not just make the little model ship and not bother with a bottle?  That checkout girl yesterday at the Food Barn was smoking hot; I wonder if she likes big guys like me.  Why do people wear Crocs?  They are so unfashionable and not classy like a nicely cobbled Italian shoe.  Oh no, the boss is looking at me like I did something wrong and just yelled at me to “focus”.  Act serious Leo, as an unhappy boss equals an unhappy Leo.  Hopefully he won't force me to kill the old guy… The dude has old school balls.  The younger one is very annoying and instead of punching me like a man, he bit me when I dragged him from his house to this meeting.  You know, I wouldn't mind offing him just for laughs.   
Jason Bratsky
Oh my God!  I guess I expected this to happen.  The big guy seriously wants to hurt me after I bit him.  God or whoever is up there, please let me get out of here.  I didn't see anything, and I told the cops only minor details.  Why are they doing this?  Oh great, the big guy's boss just yelled at him.  Dummies like him are all about misplaced aggression, so he is likely to take it out on me.
Howard
The last time I was in this place was back in the 1960s, and in those days it was a jazz club without any secret cigar rooms.  This new place has a very different scent and feel.  I figure these clowns will try to interrogate me, though I don't know why since I didn't tell the cops anything and it's not like I saw what happened.

Sal's Stogie Saloon â€" Saturday, December 1st at 9:03 PM
Nicola Tomasso
I had pored over the police report given to me by my inside man.  This Bratsky character talked and he probably thinks that matters to me.  Well it does in a way since I don't like snitches, but due to the fact that he wouldn't be snitching out my crew there is a chance that I won't kill him.  The old black guy hasn't said a thing to anybody.  His demeanor suggests that he values pride over his own life.  I respect him over the sniveling punk, but that attitude can get a man killed.  I asked, ”Mr. Bratsky, I don't care that you talked to the cops.  In fact, I want you to talk about that night.  I give you my word as man right now that if you tell me the whole truth, then I won't kill you.  This is about a little kid being killed by some coward, and I want to know who.”
Leo Padrone
Bumper stickers are lame.  Why ruin a good ride by bragging about your bratty kids or asking people to honk if they love something?  I can't believe I burped in front of that checkout girl, maybe she didn't hear it.  Uh oh, the boss is talking so I better pretend to be interested and randomly nod my head while looking menacing.
Jason Bratsky
This Nicola guy keeps looking back and forth between me and the old blind guy, as if he is silently debating something.  I wonder what he is thinking.  It's not like I saw everything anyway, just glimpse of what happened.  Oh man, he wants me to tell him the truth and I'm free to go.  No problemo!  Wow that Leo goon looks constipated.
Howard
I figure they will leave my family alone, regardless of what happens.  These Italians are honorable like that.  I'm going to keep quiet until these guys turn their attentions my way.  The Bossman seems interested in this Jason cat for now.  I wonder if he noticed that Bossman's promise didn't mention the big guy wearing the cheap cologne not killing him.  I doubt these fools would mind if I grab a cigar while they are interrogating.

Sal's Stogie Saloon â€" Saturday, December 1st at 9:06 PM
Nicola Tomasso
Wow, the balls on this old guy!  He felt around for a bit and then actually grabbed one of my brother's Cuban stogies!  I'm not going to give him the satisfaction of a reaction.  I leaned in close and listened to Bratsky, and I am finding his account overly vague.
Leo Padrone
I wonder if the new saline implants feel more natural.
Jason Bratsky
“I'm telling you Mr. Tomasso…Nicola sir…Uhhh…I was about to head into the little bank deal that housed the ATM, and I saw a guy wearing a mask pull a gun, and shoot your nephew in the back of the head.  He then wiped off the gun and threw it near your nephew.  And then I ran away.  That's all I saw man, I swear.”  I really wish he wouldn't lean in so close to me.
Howard
Now this is a cigar!  It smells like a Montecristo Edmundo Robusto that has been housed in a cedar humidor.  I'll stick it in my shirt pocket for now.  Man…This cat is either hard of hearing, lying, or both.  He is leaving out what the killer said before he shot the kid.  And the guy is obviously afraid of being too specific; if word gets out that he talked the killer or killers may come after him.

Sal's Stogie Saloon â€" Saturday, December 1st at 9:08 PM
Nicola Tomasso
”I want to know more detail Mr. Bratsky.  I at least expect the type of gun, the style of dress that the killer wore, and the length of time between when the gun was raised and fired.  And don't give me any nonsense about the darkness or fog, as I've tested the visibility myself and it's not that bad.”
Leo Padrone
No wiseguy I know of does a hit wearing a dress.  What is the boss talking about?
Jason Bratsky
Now who is more dangerous: The Tomasso gang or the killers?  Well, it would be the Tomassos at the moment.  Good thing I saved the “evidence” in the event this happened…Time to put them off the scent and kill two birds with one stone.
Howard
This Nicola cat is going to kill that guy regardless of what he says.  If the killers catch wind that he ratted them out, then Nicola will lose the element of surprise.  Also, he wouldn't have brought muscle just for interrogations.

Sal's Stogie Saloon â€" Saturday, December 1st at 9:10 PM
Nicola Tomasso
Why is he lying to me?  And what is this matchbook?
Leo Padrone
I should get that large auger drill attachment like Vinny Falcona has, rather than wrangling around with a stupid plunger.  Wa-huh!  A matchbook?  What kind of wiseguy leaves a matchbook?
Jason Bratsky
”It WAS dark, but ok yes I did see that he had a .45 handgun and the shooter, who was very tall, immediately nailed the kid in the head without hesitation.  After I ran away, I ran back to the scene of the murder and found this matchbook.  I handed him the matchbook and this will hopefully take care of that “marriage mettling” Rick the Prick.
Howard
Oh boy!  Not only is this kid obviously lying, but he comes up with a matchbook?  This is the oldest movie cliché in the books, movies, and everywhere else fictional detective-work goes on.  He's dead.

Sal's Stogie Saloon â€" Saturday, December 1st at 9:12 PM
Nicola Tomasso
I looked at the “Rick's Steakhouse” matchbook and knew immediately what this guy was trying to do.  It's a good thing I do exhaustive homework on everyone I deal with.  ”So you think the owner of Rick's Steakhouse, a former CBA basketball player, killed my nephew?”  I see the punk nodding and respond, “Now, I'm going to stop you before you waste everyone's time by trying to weakly establish some kind of motive.  He is a sleazy guy known for doing some bad things; yes I know that.  But he isn't a cold blooded killer.  Now he is a cold blooded wife banger - yours specifically.  Nice try, but I know what you are up to with this matchbook.”  I looked over at Leo and said, ”He is useless, and his lies insult the memory of Sal's boy.”
Leo Padrone
After listening to the boss, I made my way over to the lying, biter.  This should be fun.   Still got to get a Skype account...Its just too expensive to regularly call Calabria these days.  Too bad the family doesn't have an IT guy.
Jason Bratsky
I nodded in response to the question, gulped, and immediately realized this guido was a lot smarter than I had initially thought.  If I'm lucky, they won't torture me.
Howard
I don't like the guy myself, but Nicola would be making a mistake by killing him within earshot of me.  I can hear the big henchman shuffling across the room.

Sal's Stogie Saloon â€" Saturday, December 1st at 9:13 PM
Nicola Tomasso
I moved a few steps to get a good look at Howard while Leo worked.  He is an old bum in the wrong place and at the wrong time.  The guy was half-asleep in the bushes nearby when the murder took place.  Leo seems to be enjoying himself.
Leo Padrone
I never tire of strangling people I don't like.  Damn Roxy and her grocery lists; guess it will be too late for real shopping after this but I can least get a few things from the Speedy-Mart. 
Jason Bratsky
Arrgggghh!  That hurts!  I pleaded by attempting to say, ”Stop, Nicola, I'm sorry…Whatever you want, stop!”  And then I made a final gurgling sound, and could see my body from above as I felt myself slowly rising into the air.
Howard
I couldn't understand a word he was saying.  What a horrible way to go…Ok, I can feel Nicola the bossman is nearby.

Sal's Stogie Saloon â€" Saturday, December 1st at 9:14 PM
Nicola Tomasso
I took the Montecristo from the old bum's pocket, cut the cap off, and handed it back to him.  He put it in his mouth, and I gave him a light.  ”As you can see - sorry I mean hear rather - I don't appreciate lies.  Please tell me the truth Mr. Howard.” 
Leo Padrone
That bastard got some drool and a little blood on my Brioni sportcoat.  I guess I better listen closely to what the boss is saying to the old guy.
Howard
He actually wants me to have a cigar.  Man that tastes and smells good, and maybe it is my imagination but I can already feel a light buzz.  I can hear someone walking towards the room.

Sal's Stogie Saloon â€" Saturday, December 1st at 9:15 PM
Sal Tomasso
I walked in and asked, “Did you find out anything about my boy?”, and after seeing their heads shake from side-to-side, I lambasted my brother with, “Ok so why are you leaving DNA in my cigar club?!  And do you know what a dead body will do to the cigars?  Tell your stooge to haul this guy out of here.”  I can't believe I trusted Nicola to handle this…
Nicola Tomasso
I guess Sal heard the noise.  I shook my head in answer to his question, and took my verbal lumps from him.  Now I'll have to be more visibly emotional when referring to my nephew with him poking his nose into the interrogation, or at least show more of a vested interest than simply wanting to get this chore over with.
Leo Padrone
Whoa!  I thought the boss's boss had left after closing up the place. C'mon Sal, I'm no stooge.  That was hurtful.
Howard
This Sal character coming into the room changes things a bit.  I don't like hearing someone, even a bad cat like Jason, get strangled.  If I make it through this ordeal, that sound is going to haunt me.  I faced my head in the direction of Nicola and recounted, “I woke up from a stupor to hear the sound of a leather jacket brushing up against a large body, and what sounded like an arm raise.”  No one in here is aware that I know the kid used to call him Nico.  Things should get interesting.  I puffed on the cigar.

Sal's Stogie Saloon â€" Saturday, December 1st at 9:16 PM
Sal Tomasso
Only my son called Nicola that.  What the hell?!  I need my piece.
Nicola Tomasso
What the hell?!  I didn't kill the little twerp!   I immediately turned towards Sal who had just started reaching into his jacket.
Leo Padrone
I backed up against the back wall to let the family sort this out.  If push comes to shove, I have to go with Sal as he is the ranking boss.  That old guy doesn't rattle, he just started puffing away like he's at the poker table with old friends.
Howard
My tale concluded with, ”And then I heard “Your Uncle Nico says goodbye” followed by a loud bang.”  Of course, that's not what I really heard.  But how can you not trust a wizened, old blind guy?

Sal's Stogie Saloon â€" Saturday, December 1st at 9:17 PM
Sal Tomasso
I put the Glock against the old man's temple and explained, ”Your life depends on the truth, and I need to know how you know that my son called Nicola that.”  He couldn't have heard that anywhere else.
Nicola Tomasso
I put my right hand inside my front coat pocket and held on to the small .38 revolver, watched Sal, and exclaimed, ”The old man is lying!”
Leo Padrone
I positioned myself just far enough away to stop Nicola in case he does anything crazy.  I'm sure that hand is holding something in his pocket, but Nicola is a boss and I can't grab him.
Howard
I exhaled smoke.  I'm cool…Not even sweating despite the room being warm.  Pull the trigger junior, or shoot the other one.  ”First time I've heard the name.”

Sal's Stogie Saloon â€" Saturday, December 1st at 9:18 PM
Sal Tomasso
I moved my gun over to Nicola, heard gunshots, and fired my gun three times before hitting the floor.   Suddenly my worries faded away.
Nicola Tomasso
Sal aimed his Glock .45 at me, so I fired and shot back.  Bah!  I didn't even kill his kid and he gutshot me, and because of this lying old man I'm going to die of blood loss. 
Leo Padrone
Nicola and Sal started shooting at each other!  And now they are both down.  Does the old guy have a grin on his face?  ”Old man, did he really say Uncle Nico?”
Howard
Ha ha ha.  The art of manipulation beats marksmanship once again.  I looked at the big henchman and said, ”Are you going to kill me now?“  I need to determine exactly where he is in the room.

Sal's Stogie Saloon â€" Saturday, December 1st at 9:19 PM
Nicola Tomasso
Bleeding hurts…Why would the old man lie?  Killing that Bratsky punk near him was a mistake.  I can hear Leo talking with that lying old man.
Leo Padrone
Nicola and Sal started shooting at each other!  They are both down, and Sal clipped me in the thigh!  Does the old guy have a grin on his face?  ”Old man, did the killer really say Uncle Nico?!”
Howard
Ha.  The art of manipulation always beats marksmanship.  I looked at the big henchman and said, ”Are you going to kill me now?“  I've already estimated his height, so now I need to determine exactly where he is in the room.

Sal's Stogie Saloon â€" Saturday, December 1st at 9:20 PM
Nicola Tomasso
Pain…I moaned.
Leo Padrone
Nicola seems to still be alive.  I looked at Old Man Howard and declared, ”Don't play games-“ and was cut off by thumbs in my eyes!
Howard
Found him.  You don't get this old by not being a survivor.

  Good to see WHAM back in the writing comp  8-)

Quote from: kconan on Wed 21/08/2013 03:51:18
  Good to see WHAM back in the writing comp  8-)

I sneak in every now and then. ;)
Nice work on the story Kconan, by the way! My only gripe is that I'm still not sure when the story takes place. It might be taking place in the modern days of 2013, but I like to imagine the characters in an 80's setting.

Quote from: WHAM on Wed 21/08/2013 07:58:45
...not sure when the story takes place. It might be taking place in the modern days of 2013, but I like to imagine the characters in an 80's setting.

I purposefully kept it vague.  The old man mentions the 1960s as "back in those days" and the Italian mafia is still reasonably strong in the story, so that puts it late 80s to late 90s range.

Just noticed some italic formatting errors in my story, and corrected it.

Thank you for two creative interpretations of the given topic. :-D
There are still a few days left, so keep them coming, guys. (nod)

Any chance we can get a one or two day extension on this? My story is done, but putting all the graphics together is taking longer than I thought it would. :embarrassed:

Yes please, I'd appreciate that too.

All right, not a problem. I'm always willing to extend deadlines if this means more great stories. You have time untill monday, 26. August.

That's good to hear. thanks. I've got one POV down but didnt think I was gonna have time to do the other :-)

Nice!  I just got my inspiration, but was wondering if I'd have the time to flesh it out.  I'll have something up by Monday.

Excellent! Thanks to my ineptitude, my desperate plea inadvertantly drew in more participants! I should get the "Miss Congeniality" trophy for sure! :cheesy:

The Mark of Glory

   Chrysaor the sword fidgeted inside his sheath, his sharp edges itching with hungry anticipation.  He shifted his hilt in the wind, sniffing.  Yes, there it was.  Wafting like perfume off a thousand sweating bodies: the smell of battle.  Soon the sunlight would dance down his steel flank, blinding his opponents before cleaving them to death.  He could almost taste their hot blood splashing down his naked sides!  He squirmed uncomfortably within the confines of the sheath.  Soon.  Soon....

   Svalinn the shield nestled closer to her wielder, sheltering him from the fell wind that carried the wretched cries of the battlefield.  She squeezed his shield-arm reassuringly.  He squeezed back uncertainly, and she saw his lip quiver.  He needed not fear: whatever might come to pass, she would be there to protect him.  As long as they stuck together, she would bring him safe through any horror.  She wrapped herself around him soothingly in a gentle embrace.  There was no need to fear.  Now was the time to be calm, to be at peace.

   Pendalynne the pennon fluttered idly in the breeze, flaunting herself before the greedy leers of the enemy.  Oh, how they coveted her, symbol of the regiment's pride and honour.  They yearned to seize her, to have their way with her, to make her theirs.  She flapped coyly; teasing them, daring them.  Her bearer lifted her higher, and her men cheered their unflinching loyalty.  They would all of them sacrifice their lives to preserve her honour, which was as it should be.  She coldly surveyed the approaching chaos, then danced whimsically to show her disdain for it.  Anything that distracted the men from their unflinching devotion to her was beneath her dignity to suffer attentively. 

   Guthrech the codpiece jostled along in the stuffy, airless confines between his wearer's thighs.  His was not a glorious job, but keeping the plumbing in good order was an honest living.  In the heat of the charge the clammy sweat down here churned up like butter, and the little curly hairs scratched like steel wool until the walls of his workstation glowed with an oily rash.  Still, better safe than sorry.

   Chrysaor flashed a deadly grin as he towered briefly above the melee, then he plunged into the fray.  Parry, cut, lunge, parry!  Gah, what was with all the parrying!  That's what shields were for, the mopy lumps.  He was built for thrusting, and penetrating!  Oh, how he chafed to plunge into the inviting warmth of man-flesh!  He threw himself forward, heedless of the danger.  His tip smashed painfully against a metallic flange of armour, but he was undeterred.  Persistence was his motto: eventually they would yield to his lascivious advances.  He smashed his tip again, and reeled dizzily at the impact.  Oh, he liked it when they played hard-to-get.  He shook off the ringing and plunged forward once more.

   Svalinn flinched painfully at the impact, but she tried not to let it show.  All was serenity in the sheltered bubble beneath her.  She shed a deadly rain of arrows like a mother-bird's wing, then deflected another axe blow.  All is calmness.  I am sea of tranquillity in an ocean of storms.  Nothing can -ah!  She recoiled in shock at the little moustachioed dwarf who was crawling forward with an outstretched dagger.  She instinctively stomped downward like a blunt guillotine, denting his helmet.  She HATED dwarves.  They were like the rats of the primate order.  Composure!  She had to regain her composure.  Fine, fine, everything's fine.  Deflect, redirect, absorb.  A graceful tree in a silent grove.  A bed of emerald moss.  Calm.  Calm.  Oh shit, the midget is still twitching!  She crushed down again.

   Pendalynne floated haughtily above the fray.  Everyone was so intent on their little battle that no one was paying attention to her at all!  She fluttered gaily, trying to entice the gaze of someone, anyone.  Hello!  Pretty pennon floating in the wind up here!  Doesn't anyone want to idolize me?!?  Oh, wait, there's someone.  A little stunted man with a twirly moustache -ooo!  Well, he's probably not getting back up after that.  *Sigh*.  She flapped left, then right, bored.  Maybe it was -oh my god!  I've got a tatter!  I've got a tatter!  She looked around to see if anyone was looking, then quickly plucked it out.  Breathe.  It was going to be ok.  All she had to do was -ah!  Her bearer lurched backward alarmingly, sending her swinging through the air.  Watch out, you bumbling twit!  You almost dropped me!

   Guthrech furrowed his rim and tried to stay focused on his job.  The pressure down here was getting pretty intense: if he'd had ears, they would probably be bleeding by now.  The sweat pooled in him like a pond, and the briny smell of the seaside melded with the brawny musk of a wild boar's crotch to make the stale air unbearably heavy.  It was hotter than a furnace down here, so much so that his charge sagged against him like an overripe fruit.  Then, just when he thought it couldn't get any worse, a steel-shod hoof came up and gave him a punt right square in the face.

   Chrysaor was beginning to weary.  His edge was blunted and riddled with nicks and divots.  Once, in a particular fit of eagerness he had tried to pierce the breastplate of an especially juicy looking bit of meat, only to break his tip.  Now he flailed about more than fought, lashing haplessly to and fro, ringing from the impacts of steel on steel.  But through the fog of splattered mud and blood he could see that others were no better off than he.  Everyone was getting a little tired, and a little sloppy.  Another sword popped out of nowhere and took a knock at him, hard, but at an awkward angle, so that it swung onward due to the momentum.  It was then that he saw the opening, saw the sword wielder turn unwillingly to follow the dead weight of the runaway sword, exposing an unprotected length of neck.  He fixated on that opening, barely daring to believe it, watching it grow.  He went for it, wobbling forward while slicing downward.  He could almost taste the blood when his guiding arm was blindsided by an axe, the force of which sent them both flying.

   Svanlinn sagged lower to the ground, sometimes resting gently on the helmet of the unconscious dwarf to save the effort of rolling back and forth.  Her face felt like the back end of a stubborn mule after being flogged for twelve hours.  She had three, no four arrow-piercings now, a gaping axe hole on her lower flank, and a couple of gouges out of her flange.  But she was hanging in there, still shielding her wielder against the enemy.  The sapling bends, but does not break.  But then suddenly she slouched forward, released as her wielder doubled over to smother the dwarf.  For an instant she balanced there, seeing the friendly-fire arrow sticking out of his shoulder.  Probably not fatal on its own, but it would be if anyone bothered to finish the job.  Quickly she tipped over him, determined to continue her duty as a fortified roof over her charge.

   Guthrech screamed in agony: the impact of the hoof had cracked the integrity of his cup and had swollen his ward grotesquely, so that it quickly filled him entirely.  Now, with each passing moment, the swelling increased, slowly forcing him apart at the fissure.  It was like being on the notorious rack of torture, only in reverse, for he was being split apart from the inside.  Except on the rack there was no massively swollen sweaty scrotum.  Wait till the medieval torture masters got wind of this....

   Pendalynne swayed back and forth as if performing a gymnastic ribbon routine.  Why couldn't her lackey's just keep her straight?!  It was so hard to find good help these days.  That bloody axe kept hacking away at everyone who tried to steady her.  Ew!  Blood splatter!  Well, at least she would be carried off and ravished by the strongest and fiercest warrior on the whole battlefield.  She resigned herself to be his trophy, his mark of savage glory.  He'd probably get a knighthood for the deed, and she'd be displayed prominently in his new castle.  Well, there were worse fates.  And then the axe for once missed its mark and sliced through her staff, sending her crashing into the mud.  It was cold, and crawling with filth.  And then a bloody tooth landed on top of her.  Ahhh!  Get it off!  Get it off!  A shrill scream followed by a cracking sound so loud that it carried above the din of battle brought her back to her senses. What was THAT?!?  But she had no time to wonder further, for just then -oh, the indignity! - a grubby midget hand reached out from under a shield-covered corpse and reeled her in.




   

Sigh. I'm out. I just couldn't find any time to work on it over the weekend. Good luck to all the participants!

                                          The other side of the world


    Waves crashed over the bow soaking those rowers again and again.  They had not seen a speck of land since they sailed through the straight of  Gibraltar.  That had been five long days ago but Adamon was not worried they had enough supplies for a month. His childhood tutor Laertius had proven theoretically that the world was round and Adamon meant to physically prove it.  He had spent his fortune on this boat and the hundred slaves he had to free to sail it. 
   It was an old dream, one he had had as a child when Leartius had shown him his threory.  How the shadows of sticks lengthened as you moved north.  Ever since then he had thousands of dreams of what he would would find on the other side of the world.  People had already gone east most notably Alexander, but nobody had dared look westward.   Adamon relished the thought, Alexander with his armies of thousands of warriors conquered the some of the west.  Adamon with his one boat conquered the sea and discovered the east.
   He knew he was right, all anyone had to do was look up.  The sun was round, the moon was round, why would the earth be any different?  They would all see soon enough, land was inevitable on a round earth.  Adamon returned to his hammock in the shaded section of the stern and beckoned his serving girls to feed him more grapes.  It was all only a matter of time.
   It was another fine spring day and the wind was strong behind them.  The ship he had made was a modified bireme that was lengthened and widened for open water.  It even had enough room to carry a small skiff at the back which Adamon intended to use for going ashore.  The main ship had three square sails instead of one but retained the standard two oar decks for when the wind failed.  Though the wind had not failed them yet he still exercised the rowers tirelessly to keep them fit. 

                  *   *   *

   Hodo pulled the oar and lifted it back around ignoring the waves as they splashed him again and again.  Around him the other rowers muttered under their breaths but Hodo ignored them.  He was excited to see the other side of the world.  The land of silk and dragons and spices.  He hoped there were pretty girls there, nice girls that liked flowers.  Not like the mean girls from Akrai.  When he picked these new girls flowers they would not laugh and throw them away.  These new girls would be nice and they would smile at him and put the pretty flowers up in their hair.  Hodo wondered what the flowers would be like on the other side of the world.
   â€œWill they have pretty flowers?”  He asked his brother Tatius again.  Tatius was talking to the other rowers and Hodo had to wait for him to finish.  He kept going on about how Captain Adamon had not really freed them. Telling them that they would all drown if they did not turn back.  He told them how much better it would be with him Captain.   Hodo did not listen to it, he liked Captain Adamon and he liked his life as a free man rowing much better than as a slave in the quary.
   Finally Tatius turned to him “No”  Tatius said mockingly “I won't tell you this again.  There is no other side brother.”  He used the word cruelly and Hodo got angry.  He did not like it when his brother belittled him or there kinship.  Hodo's massive hands squeezed the oar until it the wood creaked with strain.  The rhythm was thrown off slightly and the other rowers looked back in concern.
   â€œJust tell the nit-wit the flowers are pretty.”
   â€œNo! I am sick of this madness.”  His brother said standing up defiantly.
   Its too soon someone whispered.  I thought we were waiting till night fell someone else said.
   â€œYou there! Sit down and row!”
   
               *   *   *

   Adamon heard a commotion at the bow.  Unbelievable not even a full week out and his rowers  were already getting cold feet.  This was unacceptable he had freed this man with his own hard earned gold, where was his gratitude?  There was no room on this ship for the weak of heart; he would have to make an example of this one.  Adamon motioned for the guards to toss him overboard.  One bad apple would spoil the bunch.   The man tried to resist but he was no match for the guards who were all Spartan veterans.  The dissenter's calls fell on deaf ears and soon his pitiful rebellion turned into pleas for mercy but it was to late for that now and  Adamon nodded his consent.     
   The Spartans had prodded him onto the edge using only the butts of their spears but now the  captain speared him in the thigh with the precision of an artist.  The mans shriek cut through the salty air and Adamon smiled in approval but his smile faded all to quickly when he saw the leviathan charge into action.

                  *   *   * 

   Hodo was pouting.  He new he was pouting but he did not care.  Tatius was always mean to him.  Always mocking him because he was slow and they had different fathers.  He was always stepping on his dreams and laughing at him with the pretty girls who were mean.
   Hodo barely noticed the men who came for his brother through his watery eyes.  “Now!  Take them now!”  His brother had called but no one was listening and Hodo was glad when one of the men poked Tatius in the belly with a staff.  Hodo enjoyed it as the men laid a beating on him and he even had a few chuckles as his brother was corralled up the boat and only briefly wondered where they were taking him.
   It was only as the poked him over to the edge that Hodo began to worry.  He began to wine and squeezed his massive hands on the oar making the wood creak.  Some of the rowers looked back at him but Hodo's eyes were only on his brother.  He wasn't supposed to stand up unless he had to relieve his bowels. Why had his brother stood up?  Was it something Hodo had said?
   Tatius' shriek cut through his soul and Hodo jumped up and ran.  He cried his brothers name and smashed through everything between them.  The rowers screamed when he stepped on them but Hodo was not listening to anything.  One of the men tried to stab him with a spear but Hodo snatched it from him and beat him over the head with it.  The other mean men tried to stab him and Hodo batted there spears aside and shoved them down.  Something bit him in the shoulder and Hodo turned to see an archer notching an arrow.  Hodo screamed as he through the spear at him.  Instinct drove him to dodge back as a man tried to stick him with another spear.
   Before he was confused and scared; now Hodo was angry.  Hodo did not like being angry and that made him even more angry.  Hodo did not enjoy hurting people, but these people had wanted to hurt him and his brother.
   Hodo bellowed as he blacked out in rage.

                  *   *   *

   Adamon watched it all in awed disbelief.  He would not have thought it possible if he was not witnessing it.  How could such a big man be so nimble?  He stared in amazement as the tough guy simply snatched a spear away as it was being jabbed at his heart. There was no grace to his movements but  somehow the leviathan deflected or avoided the Spartans spears as he continued to press forward.     
   Watching it reminded Adamon of a bear swatting at bees as it reached in for the honey.  Adamon shook his head when he saw the leviathan topple three of his guards at once. He signalled to the archer at the bow because he had the clearest shot.  An arrow hit the brute in the shoulder and Adamon let out an annoyed hiss.  The brute hurled a spear back and the archer hastily loosed his second arrow that hit one of his own men as the spear took him in full in the chest.  Adamon pulled at his curly hair in frustration.
   The leviathan was getting frustrated too and he bellowed in rage.  Adamon was half a ship away but even he stepped back.  Before the big fellow had only wanted through now he was out for blood.  Adamon had held back his aft archers too long, the other oarsmen could sense the changing tide of battle and more of them were climbing to their feet.   
   â€œKill him!”  He cried to the archers.  If they killed him now the ship could still be salvaged.  Adamon watched the arrows fly and he thought for a moment that all would be well.  Then the leviathan lifted the Spartan captain up and used him as a shield before tossing him overboard riddled with arrows.  The the brute quickly dropped out of sight only raising up enough to to swing down his fists massive fists. 
   â€œNo!”  Adamon shouted at the rowers.  “Sit back down you fools!”  Nobody was listening anymore.
   All the oarsmen were now standing or fighting off the few remaining guards.  There was no way of turning them back and there was nothing for it but to surrender on good terms.  “Stand down” he called to his remaining men.  “We surrender, though we do not know how we angered or offended you, oh giant one.”  Adamon could not resist adding in a mocking bow.
   The ship grew still and all that could be heard over the wind and waves breaking against the ship was the despairing sound of a grown man crying as he continued pommelling dead flesh.
   â€œSave your breath.”  Someone called out confidently.  “Believe me your better off talking to a rock.”  The oarsmen made way as the speaker hobbled up to the dais.
   Adamon swallowed when he realized who was addressing was.  It was the man who had started it all, the man he was trying to make an example of.  Nobody had noticed him slip away in the fray.  Adamon considered having one of his guards kill him now, but he had already surrendered and was too honourable to go back on it.
   â€œNow,”  the defiant one said as he stepped onto the upper deck “if you want to know how you angered me, we can start with this stab wound and your men trying to throw me off the ship-”   
   The brute was still sobbing and slogging away at a Spartan corpse and Adamon was not the only one having a hard time concentrating.
   â€œHODO!”  The ring-leader called out angrily.

               *   *   *

   â€œHodo”  Hodo recognized the voice.  It was his Tatius, his brother was alive! 
   â€œHodo stop that its discusting, you've pounded a hole right through him.”
   â€œTatius!”  He called as he ran to his brother wiping at his teary eyes only to smear blood and and gore on his face.  “Tatius is alive! Hodo is sorry.  Hodo did not mean to get Tatius in trouble.  Hodo  likes flowers-”  Hodo voice broke at the word and he started crying all over again “-but Hodo won't ask about them anymore.”
   His brother just stood there smiling and shaking his head.  “You see”  He called out to everyone “better off talking to a rock.”  His brother laughed his cruel laugh and the laughter slowly caught on.  Hodo did not get the joke but he joined in because he did not like feeling left out.
   â€œNow that I am Captain.”  Tatius called out.  “We will be ending this suicidal journey. My first order is to turn this boat around.  With luck we will be back through the straight of Gibraltar in a week.”  The rowers erupted in raucous approval. 
   Hodo almost joined them; not wanting to be left out.   Then he noticed that Captain Adamon was slouching and he began to think.  Captain Adamon, Adamon was Captain.  He was the nice man who had freed them from the quarry and was taking them to the other side of the world where there were nice girls and pretty flowers.  His brother was not the Captain he was a rower, he rowed beside Hodo and they were supposed to be rowing to the other side of the world not back to Gibralter.  It was all too much and Hodo did not like it.
   â€œNO!”  Hodo yelled, angry once more.  “NO!  Tatius is not Captain.  Adamon Captain.” 

                  *   *   *
   
   When the rowers cheered to Tatius' plan Adamon felt utterly defeated.  How could people be so narrow minded.  No one cared what was beyond the next horizon.   Nobody had any vision, they were all blinded by the past.  This young man, undoubtedly a native of Sicily was probably vexed by  the Greek settlements and wound up as a slave.  No doubt he had foolish plans of vengeance that would see all these fools killed.   Adamon felt sick, it was all such a waste and he contemplated jumping overboard and trying to swim the rest of the way.  He knew it was suicide; but as everyone kept telling him this whole venture was a suicide.  At least he would die trying.  Adamon braced himself for the running leap overboard-
   â€œ-NO!”  Adamon stopped himself short.  The lack-wit Hodo could not possibly have read his thoughts.  “NO!  Tatius is not Captain.  Adamon Captain.”  Adamon bulked, what was this?
   â€œNo Brother, I'm Captain now and we are going home.”  Tatius said, calmly ignoring the angry giant.  Adamon thought that would be it and turned his thoughts back to the choppy blue waters.
   â€œNo!  Hodo does not want to go home!  Adamon going to other side. Adamon take Hodo.  Adamon Captain not Tatius!”  The brute had move forward as he shouted till he was right below them.  He was so tall that his chest rose above the upper deck and he pounded the dais with his fists for emphasis.  Tatius stepped back to remain out of reach.
   â€œBrother-”  Tatius began reasonably but Hodo was not having any of it.
   â€œNO!”  Hodo screamed lifting up the plank his brother was standing on and prying it loose.  Tatius was thrown off balance but he managed to stay on his feet.
   â€œBrother!”  Tatius shouted.
   â€œHodo no go home!”  The leviathan was now pulling at a support until it snapped making the whole structure drop a hands-width forward.  Everyone stumbled and Tatius screamed as his brother almost got hold of his ankle.
   â€œSomebody stop him before he tears the ship apart!”  Tatius screamed.
   A plan had been forming and sensing his chance Adamon stepped forward.  “Hodo” he said crouching down and smiling. “How would you like to come to the other side of the world with me, just the two of us, unless anyone else cares to finish the journey.”  Adamon was not surprised when nobody spoke up.

               *   *   *

   Hodo smiled up at the true Captain.
   â€œWe'll take the skiff,” Hodo did not know what he meant and the captain explained.   â€œThe small boat,  we will need supplies, food and water.  You start loading it and I will talk to your brother.”
   Hodo could hardly contain himself.  A whole boat to themselves, just him and the captain sailing to the other side of the world.  It would be even better than before.  Hodo practically ran back and forth grabbing everything he could find not just food and water.  He grabbed nets and rope, fish hooks and canvas.  Nobody stopped him.  Finally when the skiff was almost overflowing Adamon joined him.

               *   *   *

   Adamon left Hodo to do the packing and went to go see his brother Tatius.  Standing before him Adamon said but four words.  “He is your brother.”  Those words said it all, there was no surer way to earn the gods wrath than killing ones brother.
   Tatius looked away but nodded.  The wind now blew colder from the north and the waves crashed.  The rowers had taken to the benches muttering to themselves while they waited.  “There is nothing out there, you'll both drown in the first storm.”
   Adamon was pleased.  He was letting them go.  Hodo was grabbing everything he could find and Adamon smiled.   â€œPerhaps but how will you ever know.”
   Tatius looked at him.  His green eyes flashing.  “I'll know, I've always known when he was in trouble.”
   Adamon shrugged, some siblings had that kind of connection.  He doubted it this case though.  He could believe Hodo had the gift, but not Tatius.  He did not have the heart for it.  Nonetheless he had to have the last word.  “If you can sense him then by years end you will know I was right.”
   Tatius laughed genuinely, pleased with this latest turn of events.  He pointed to the darkening horizon  “I suspect we will know who was right by the end of the night.”
   Adamon swallowed but kept his head held high as he said his last parting words.  “Take care of my boat.”

                  *   *   *

   In the middle of the Atlantic two boats parted ways; the small boat rowed into the storm and the big one rowed away.
            

                  To be Continued..?

   

   
   

I'm out too.  I was working on a retelling of Hansel and Gretel in the form of police interviews with the two children and how their stories don't quite match.
But it's not going to get finished I'm afraid :(

Quote from: Ponch on Mon 26/08/2013 18:41:12
Sigh. I'm out. I just couldn't find any time to work on it over the weekend. Good luck to all the participants!

Well, at least Ponch won't be turning our voting system on its head this time around.  ;)

Quote from: Baron on Tue 27/08/2013 04:40:35

Quote from: Ponch on Mon 26/08/2013 18:41:12
Sigh. I'm out. I just couldn't find any time to work on it over the weekend. Good luck to all the participants!

Well, at least Ponch won't be turning our voting system on its head this time around.  ;)

I wanted to! I had a very neat story that was told through an AGS forum thread. But I ran out of time and wasn't able to stitch all the fake posts together into one long image. It's too bad. I really liked the story. Ghost disappeared mysteriously on his way to Mittens America and then other strange and sinister events began to unfold in the thread as more and more AGSers went missing until... Well, no point in talking about it now. I bit off more than I could chew and foolishly asked for an extension on a weekend that was already booked with other things I had already scheduled weeks ago. :sealed:

Oh well. The bits where Ryan Timothy went looking for Baron while Ben304 spent a tearful night weeping on Grundy's grave after he was lost at sea? Sigh. What could have been. Curse you, ambition! :wink:

All right, time's up.
Ponch, your idea sounds interesting. Too bad you didn't finish it.

Anyway, we've got four entries:

WHAM
kconan
Baron The Mark of Glory
Chef! The other side of the world

As promised, we'll try the same voting system as last round, with a slight modification: I removed the "message" category and added the "topic" category instead.

Character: You find one or several characters really believable/captivating/magnetic/unique, etc.
Plot: The story arc was well-organized, coherent, and well-executed with appropriate pacing
Atmosphere: This is all about feeling: did the story evoke strong feelings due to excitement/humour/intrigue/wonder/emotional intensity?
Background World: The best setting or milieu for a story; a place brought to life.
Word Choice/Style: The technical art of combining words in clever or gripping ways
Topic: How faithful or creative a story takes on the given topic

You can vote up to three people per category. Every vote counts as one point. Whoever recives most points, wins.

Voting is open untill friday.

Quote from: Ponch on Tue 27/08/2013 04:56:31
Ghost disappeared mysteriously on his way to Mittens America and then other strange and sinister events began to unfold in the thread as more and more AGSers went missing until...

I would've liked to read that tale! Seriously, someone tell me where I am right now plz! Totally in the dark here.

Votes:
Character:  kconan, baron, wham
Plot: wham, baron, chef
Atmosphere: chef, baron, wham
Background World: No, that would be unfair- all four really did a great job here!
Word Choice/Style: baron, kconan, wham
Topic: again, that would be unfair- all four really did a great job here!

___
An honourable cookie vote to Ponch, too!

Good comp, guys!

Character: Chef
Plot: kconan
Atmosphere: Chef
Background World: kconan
Word Choice/Style: kconan
Topic: kconan

Character: Baron
Plot: WHAM
Atmosphere: Chef!
Background World: Baron, Chef!
Word Choice/Style: WHAM
Topic: WHAM

WHAM's story was told in a creative style, Baron had the most intriguing characters, and Chef! had the best atmosphere.  Fun game guys!

Character: Chef! & kconan.  I liked Hodo.  At first I thought he was just a Lenny Small, but his will was not so easily bent, and I liked that about him.  I also liked Leo Padrone, for his carefree musings.  I guess I'm just a sucker for the big simpletons....
Plot: WHAM.  With each entry the actual story became more and more clear -very clever.  I would have voted kconan, who wrote a really good plot, but I can't call it "well organized and coherent" due to what seem like minor mistakes (the blind man never says "Nico" before everyone freaks out, there seemed to be some accidental cut & paste repetition, how'd the old blind man get so close to Leo without him realising it?)
Atmosphere: kconan.  The intensity of the situation was well-conveyed.
Background World: Chef! & WHAM.  Chef! for invoking a sense of wonder at an as yet undiscovered world, where your wildest dreams might well come true just over the horizon.  WHAM for giving glimpses of a world gone insane (the Lord of the Flies remake was good).
Word Choice/Style: WHAM.  The observant descriptions like "thin fog of breath before their eyes" and "living shadows in the night" combine with authentic sounding police-speak and journalism.
Topic: WHAM & kconan.  WHAM for the use of multiple media to tell the story (interview, narrative, newspaper), kconan for keeping me guessing where the story was going through the use of such divergent perspectives.

Quote from: Baron on Wed 28/08/2013 21:28:23
the blind man never says "Nico" before everyone freaks out, there seemed to be some accidental cut & paste repetition, how'd the old blind man get so close to Leo without him realising it?)

The old guy tells them he heard “Your Uncle Nico says goodbye” before everyone freaks out.  Being in a cigar smoking room there isn't that much space, so the old guy didn't have to lunge that far to get to him.  Yea there are some typos in the story for sure, and its a little hard to read.

Edited - I see how it is confusing now.  I should have put the immediate responses to Howard's revelation under the next heading.

Character: Chef!
Plot: WHAM
Atmosphere: Baron
Background World: Kconan
Word Choice/Style: WHAM
Topic: WHAM

Thank you all for your votes.
Here are your results:

1. place: WHAM (http://www.fotos-hochladen.net/uploads/rashomon1168fr2ht39.jpg)
(14 points): This story is definetly the most creative use of rashomon of our four entries. I especially like that the three versions are in completely different styles. Well done.

2. place: kconan (http://www.fotos-hochladen.net/uploads/rashomon2pyob7zj2ns.jpg)
(10 points): The order of the thoughts/dialog in each section aren't always in the order that they happen, are they? That was a bit confusing to read, and there were some repetitions, but other then that, it was a nice suspensful story. Congrats.

3. place: Chef! (http://www.fotos-hochladen.net/uploads/rashomon3b3wu4gzrf9.jpg)
(9 points): The strong point of this story are the characters (you won the character category, btw). They are very believable and drive the story. I would have loved to read more.

Thank you for your entries.
WHAM, start the next round!

Congrats to the winners! Good entries all around. :cheesy:

Quote from: Ponch on Sat 31/08/2013 02:42:10
Congrats to the winners!

Ponch is just pretending to single you winners out -I just received personalized congratulations from him via PM for my triumphal 4th place finish ;)

Good writing people, and well deserved victories!  I look forward to reading you all next time.

Quote from: Baron on Sat 31/08/2013 02:53:01

Quote from: Ponch on Sat 31/08/2013 02:42:10
Congrats to the winners!

Ponch is just pretending to single you winners out -I just received personalized congratulations from him via PM for my triumphal 4th place finish ;)

Good writing people, and well deserved victories!  I look forward to reading you all next time.

Betrayal! That PM was sent in confidence! My dirty laundry has been aired! My virtual undies are fluttering in the eBreeze for all to see! Now there's no one I can trust! (laugh)

Hopefully, next time I'll make the deadline. This was a great theme and I let it get away from me. :P

  Good game guys/gals 8-)

Yaaay! I think this is my first FWC win, so it's doubly sweet!
I'll think up a new comp during monday and get things going again.