Fortnightly Writing Competition: DARK FOREST (Results)

[Mandle]

Great stuff all round! Onwards!

[lorenzo]

Yay!
I'll try to think of a fun idea for a theme

[RootBound]

Sorry if it's weird to return to this a month later. I participated in a poetry reading group yesterday, and the discussions were very good, and it inspired me to share here a more detailed breakdown of the rhyme (and slant rhyme) structure of my poem, since I worked hard on it. Feel free to ignore if you're not interested. 

Spoiler

For definitions of slant rhyme terms, see here.

Nocturne

The dilated pupils of foxes, owls, coyotes scenting prey,     A
glow like shimmering green-yellow suns in the black,     B
their shine reflecting mere fractions     B (assonance, consonance)
of what their eyes trap,  B (assonance)
the ricocheted photons evincing night-     D
vision so sharp it can scoff at surplus light,     D (true rhyme)
can spurn as needless the wasted bright     D (true rhyme)
of day.    A (true rhyme)

Meanwhile, we who love sun must     E
make our eyes sore     F
to see colors or movements amidst     E (slant rhyme: consonance)
the darkness, stretching out     G
hands to scout     G (true rhyme)
hazards, our need for the shown     H
leaving us breathless as fish on the shore,     F (true rhyme)
unarmored skin displayed     A (assonance)
to the wide open mouth     G (assonance)
of a realm not our own.     H (true rhyme)

Spoiler

A possible interpretation here is that the more ordered rhyme scheme of the first stanza mirrors how nocturnal animals navigate darkness more skillfully, whereas the more disordered (but still fully present) rhyme scheme of the second stanza mirrors the more chaotic interaction humans have with night.

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