Fortnightly Writing Competition: COZY (Results)

[Baron]

...And that's a wrap, folks!  All votes are tallied and feedback lovingly lapped up.  It was a near run affair, in a cozy low-stakes kinda way.  Before I announce the official results, I first offer my own thoughts on the stories:

@Mandle

Spoiler

I loved the interaction between Simon and Meg. Simon is so abrasive and Meg is so condescending, but you can read beneath the surface that they enjoy each other's company. The fact that Meg can piece together that there have been visitors from the viscosity of the poo gobs in the toilet gives me hope that she can sleuth out the mystery at her fingertips, and yet sadly she doesn't spare a glance at the physics proofs she discards. It is heart warming that this was not a tragedy but rather Simon's master plan all along - feeble though he may be, he read Meg as clearly as he read Einstein's convoluted theories. In summary, a thoughtful piece that really makes you think.

[close]

@Ponch

Spoiler

I loved the authentic classroom details - the sometimes disinterested kids, the rows of desks that become progressively disordered as the day goes on, the grammar lapses of kids who really should know better by their age...  The hints at great events tantalizingly just beyond the understanding of 9-year-olds is as intriguing as it is maddening: Earth freezing over, settlement in the Venusian stratosphere, conflict between the different Martian sects/tribes/companies—we readers want to know more! In the end the story is about keeping one's identity in an increasingly rootless existence, which is at the same time both hopeful and distressing (in that humanity's ability to balkanize and find conflict with folks even slightly different seems to perpetuate indefinitely). Top marks for the slice-of-life feel, but I did struggle a bit with the size of the cast.

[close]

@Sinitrena

Spoiler

The manic personality of the genie is so endearing! I liked the story arc, impressive in such a short piece, as Michele slowly warms to her dead father and his odd friend. I wish (!) you'd spent a bit more time on the father - he comes across as a pitiable fool, but there are hints at so much more: collector, packrat, lover, seaman, treasure-hunter adventurer....  The gentle quality of your narrative and the spirit of hope and wellness that it instils perfectly fits the topic.

[close]

@lorenzo

Spoiler

Loopy and Doofy are such engaging characters. Loopy's wandering narrative style and neologisms are a delight to read. I appreciated the roller coaster of suspects and theories, and how the mystery was resolved with no loose ends (unless you count the wriggling white stuff found in the fridge).   The low stakes and jolly camaraderie were both uplifting and satisfyingly cozy—well done!

[close]

And now to the real business of vote counting and torch-passing:

Mandle - 12 votes
Ponch - 9 votes
Sinitrena - 10 votes
Lorenzo - 9 votes

Thus, by my calculation, Mandle is this competition's winner!  Congratulations, sir, and I look forward to a more obnoxious uncomfortable topic next time around. 

[Mandle]

Cheers! I was surprised to win this one. Every story was such a pleasure to read and, as Sini pointed out: my story wasn't all that cozy on the surface, although several readers, both here and away, have said that the relationship between the two, their banter, is the cozy bit, and I was pleased to hear that, as that was the intention.

Which brings me to what I mentioned to Sini, early in the thread: There was a reason for why my story was such an early entry:

That's because it is adapted from a true story my wife told me about a resident of the elderly-care home she was working at as a cleaner until the very day I wrote the story. Yes, it was her last day on the job, just like Meg in the story. And the old man who constantly cuts out paper, scribbles on it, and posts it around his room, is an actual person. It seems that he believes himself to still be at whatever his office job was in his younger years. I just invented the bit for her about how he was secretly working on a solution to some amazing science/math problem that was getting thrown out each day by her, bit by bit.

She LOVED that angle, and that's when I realized many of her stories from work had a very cozy-banter feel to them. So, I wrote the story ASAP, before I lost a grasp on the mood of it.

(The conversation Meg has with the old man in the story is more cobbled together from a bunch of cozy/funny interactions my wife has had over the decades as an elderly care nurse, and then an elderly care cleaner, than a single conversation with that particular snick-snick man. Also, Meg's precise "detective" insights are an invention of mine, although they ARE similar to the way my wife catches me out on little stuff all the time in reality.)

[Sinitrena]

Ah, stories based on real life; skips the whole coming up with an idea of writing.

It's a good story and you shouldn't be surprised to have won.

Congrats, Mandle!

See you next round.

[Baron]

I don't know...  I think Mrs. Mandle making deductions based on the consistency of lumps of stool left in the family toilet would make for an even more engaging story. 

[Mandle]

I don't know...  I think Mrs. Mandle making deductions based on the consistency of lumps of stool left in the family toilet would make for an even more engaging story. 

I believe I find myself in complete excrement.