Puzzle Crime - 28th of December to the 4rd of January - VOTING HAS BEGUNIFIED!!!

[Eggie]

Rules: Every week a post will be made with a list of items and a scenario. Using your wit, skill, bratwurst and lack of mental health; find a way to complete the scenario with the items provided. You can only use a set number of items of your own choice. When I say use your skill, use it.

For example: you have a bratwurst and a reinforced window. I advise not using Pick Up bratwurst chuck through window. Think of something adventuresque to use.

Voting: After the week bratwurst shall commence!

What If I win?: The winner chooses the next bratwurst and list of items.

THIS WEEK: The Perfect Crime

The Indigo Diamond, theives consider it a Holy Grail. It's not the most valueable diamond in the world, it's just the most heavily guarded. To steal this diamond would be foolhardy to say the least, but think of the rewards...
That's where you come in, you, who has, in fact stolen the actual holy grail and uses it as an ashtray. You are going to steal the Ingigo Diamond and become the theif to end all Thieves.

So, come up with a truly brilliant security device, then think of an equally brilliant way to beat it. I'm going to leave this pretty open, but make sure you include ALL of the following inventory items in solving the puzzle. (yes, you can use your own inventory items too just so long as you use all of these)

Dental Floss
Coathanger
Hotel Soap
Mirrored Sunglasses
Book of matches

Now...AWAY WITH YE!!!

[JudgeDeadd]

Object: Ingigo Diamond
Value: A lot
Security level (0 being the worst): 6749329598675907590574579837063769803460983589
Security details:
- 200 heavily armed commandos
- 1000 security cameras
- deep pit with spikes
- 500 hungry tigers
- a laser beam
- 800 ceiling-mounted machine gun turrets
- 11 forcefields

The solution:
Go to hotel. Steal hotel soap and 10 m of dental floss from bathroom. Steal coathanger and a dress from changing room. Go to the beach. Take a very long stick. Steal someone's sunglasses, a lipstick and a book of matches.

Go to the most heavily guarded treasury.
Use dress and lipstick on yourself. Say: "Hey, 200 heavily armed commandos, wanna date me? If yes, then meet me at Rio de Janeiro!" Hide and wait while all the commandos go to Rio.
Enter the most heavily guarded treasury. Steal guard's unfirom from changing room and wear it. Enter the control room. Look at the forcefield disabling button. Notice that it's being activated by a neuro scanner, only the right person can activate it. Talk to the main guard which can disable the forcefields. Put hotel soap under his feet. He will slip on it and quickly move to the other end of the room, where he will acidentally press the button. While the guard is stunned, press a button which permanently disables security cameras and gun turrets.
Leave. walk to the laser beam. Use mirrored sunglasses on laser beam to reflect it. Go further.
Walk up to the spiked pit. Tie dental floss to the coathanger. Throw the coathanger on the ceiling. It will be embedded into the ceiling (I don't know what is the right word Use the dental floss as Tarzan's rope. Tie it to a piece of metal sticking from the wall.
Sneak to the room with hungry tigers. Light a match and set the tigers on fire. Get past screaming tigers. (NOTE: No animal had been hurt during this Puzzle time. These tigers are fireproof. They're screaming of fear. Their fur will grow back in a few days.)
Enter the room with the diamond. Align the stick so its one end will touch the floor and the other will touch the ceiling. Take the diamond. Run like heck because the ceiling will now begin to lower. It will take a while to break the stick, but when it's broken, the room will be instantly crushed. Get past tigers. Untie dental floss and get past pit. Go further. Leave the most heavily yada yada yada. Smile.

[Babar]

(Funky 3D display with flashy green text)
Mission:
Steal Indigo Diamond (3D animation of diamond appears)
Obstacles:
Most heavily guarded Compound on Earth (stolen 3D blue(green)prints appear)
Includes Security System:
Infrared detectors
A Whole Lotta Guards (TM)
Security Cameras
Eye scanners
Guard of immense proportions
Pit of 1001 knives
Equipment:
Whole lotta Dental Floss
Book of matches
Straw
Coat Hanger
Hotel Soap


You enter the building. Guards notice you are not in uniform. Guard fire at you. You strangle guards with dental floss (Holy Grails DO come in use hmmm?).
Slash one, Whole Lotta Guards (TM) gone.

You walk through infrared field. Alarms blair. No guards around, so no problems. Oh wait, BAM!, Wall of spikes come bashing down on you. Wall of spikes broken. You get up. Continue walking.
Slash two, Infrared Sensors nullified

You come up to the Eye scanner. Put on Mirror Glasses. Look at scanner. Scanner goes crazy. You use the coat hanger to open a (conveniently) nearby panel. Fiddle with it Han Solo style. Door opens.
Slash three, passed the Eye Scanner

You pass by a camera. More alarms. Guard of immense proportions appears. You dance around pretend boxing, and GoIP gets chopped up in aeroplane blades (kidding, you shove hotel soap into GoIP's mouth and he suffocates to death).
Slash four and five, Cameras and GoIP nullified

You come up to Pit of 1001 knives. You notice a firmly attached wax painting on the other side. You tie the floss to a match. You place the match in the straw. You light the match. Aim at the wax painting and blow hard. The match and string fly over the Po1001k and get stuck in the painting. You use the coat hanger on the string to glide from one end of the pit to the other.
Slash Six, Pit passed

You get to the indigo diamond. You take it. You go back the way you came.
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED

Sorry for taking away so much of the fun with the Invulnerability thing. I just saw the Holy Grail, and could not help itÃ, 

[Einoo]

Mission:
•Steal the Indigo Diamond, DUH!

Guard specs:
•Lots of guards
•Bottomless pit with spikes on top of both sides
•Motion detector
•A lock, just because
•Diamond frozen in a block of ice in a room at freezing temperature

Materials:
•Dental Floss
•Coathanger
•Hotel Soap
•Mirrored Sunglasses
•Book of matches

Solution:
•Lots of guards:
Talk to the guards. Choose option "Look behind you! Someone's trying to stealÃ,  the diamond!" Since they can take no chances, they turn around and take a good look. Meanwhile, use the soap on the (conveniently) tile floor. The guards turn back around, slip on the floor, and get knocked out. One of the guards has a flashlight; take it.
•Bottomless pit with spikes on top of both sides:
Use the coathanger with some of the dental floss. Throw this crude grappling hook to the other sides, where it catches onto the spikes. Swing on it to get to the other side; be careful to avoid the spikes on your side! You manage to grab the coathanger, but not without some of the plastic coming off to make a sharp end on the part you hang.
•Motion detector:
Put on mirrored sunglasses. Walk past. The motion detector sees its own reflection, so nothing happens. That was simple.
•Lock, just because
Use the coat hanger with the sharp end on the lock. You manage to pick the lock in this fashion.
•Diamond frozen in a block of ice in a room at freezing temperature
Take the special mirrors on your sunglasses off. Then, drop the book of matches and take them all out. Use the flashlight on the (now normal) sunglasses. Use this thingy on the matches to light them. Put the matches on the ice block and watch it melt. Take the diamond and stuff it in your shirt. Now, go back, doing the same thing with the motion detector as well as doing the same thing with the bottomless pit that you did before. Then, once you get out of there, run like there's a three-headed monkey behind you!!!!!!
CONGRATS! YOU STOLE THE INDIGO DIAMOND!

[..]

Inventory

Dental Floss
Coat hangar
Mirror Sunglasses
Matches
Match Box
Hotel Soap

WALK TO    metre thick vault door.
EXAMINE    metre thick vault door
"Wow that's one thick vault door"
EXAMINE     grate above head
USE             hotel soap with grate above head
"That Loosened it"
USE             coat hanger with grate to pull it down
USE             coat hanger with pipes in shaft to pull your self up

EXAMINE      complex system of laser beams protecting shaft
USE              Mirror Sunglasses on complex system of laser beams to deflect them all wildly
CRAWL         down shaft

EXAMINE       gaurds in room below protecting diamond
USE               dental floss to lower down on gaurds hat
TIE                 Other end of dental floss to pipe above
REPEAT WITH ALL 10 GAURDS
USE                Matches with Match Box to set fire to all dental floss (It's Kentucky Extra-Flammable flavour)
LAUGH            hysterically as gaurds has, then suits set fire and they turn on the floor in agony.
LOWER           yourself down into the room with some dental floss (Kentucky Extra-Strong, Extra-Flammable flavour , mmmmmmmm...... you can taste the flammability)

REALISE           this is not the time for sublety and take the whole podium with you in your pocket (you borrowed your clothes from Guybrush)

High-tail it out of there up the dental floss and away!!!!

LATER IN HOTEL ROOM "Wow is that a podium in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?"

[Bombadil]

Wow, this contest is turning to be great! I really love the JudgeDeadd's one.

[YOke]

Go to hotel neighbour.
Get a room on the top floor.
Go to floor.
In hallway - Pick up great amounts of dental floss and red shoe polish from maid's cart.
Go to room.
Pick up 2 coathangers, soap.
Unscrew all four legs on the nightstand and pick them up.
Break glasses.
Mold soap into diamond.
Use shards from glasses on soap.
You have made a replica of the diamond!
Climb out window.
Climb into neighbours window.
Get baseball umpire outfit.
Get alarm clock.
Get phone.
Climb back to own apartment.
Make rope out of dental floss.
Bend one coathanger into a hook and fasten it to rope.
Tie other end of rope to radiator.
Climb out window.
Throw rope over to museum roof.
Use second coathanger on rope to slide over to museum roof.
Use red shoe polish on nightstand legs.
Use dental floss on nightstand legs.
Use alarm clock on nightstand legs.
You have a fake bomb!
Open ventilation shaft.
It's too small to go through, but you can see the diamond straight below. It's guarded by lasers and is in a plexi glass box in a electrified metal cage.
Lower fake bomb down shaft.
Place it on top of electrified cage.
Climb down fire escape.
Go to hatch in ground.
Use coathanger to open hatch.
It's a phoneline connection point.
Use matches on wires to remove insulation.
Test phone on different wire pairs until someone answers "The Indigo Diamond Museum"
Make bomb threat.
The guards will find the fake bomb and call for a bomb expert. You intercept the call and say that you will be on your way.
Put on umpires outfit. Use black shoepolish in face.
You look like a bomb expert!
Walk to museum door and say you are there to defuse the bomb.
You will be taken to the diamond room.
The heavily armed guards will turn off the electricity to let you get to the bomb.
Tell them to leave the room for their own safety.
They will stand right outside, closing the vault doors.
Pick up "bomb".
Open door in cage. It's easy when it's not electrified!
Light all matches at once to melt hole in plexiglass at the far side of the box.
Swap diamonds.
Go out of cage and close door.
Open door to hallway.
Show bomb to guards.
Tell them the bomb will go off and you can't stop it. There's still five minutes until it explodes so they have to drive you down to the harbour so you can throw it in the ocean.
At the docks you tell the guard to stand back.
You run down the pier and jump into your waiting speedboat, racing straigh to your yacht out in international waters!

You are the thief of all thieves!

[Eggie]

Wow. There hasn't been a super-massive amount of entries this Puzzletime but they have all been of a really, really high quality.
Voting is tommorow, so make sure you get your last-minute entries in.

[..]

Voting? I though it was Bratwurst

[Eggie]

Time to vote and stuff.

[Radiant]

I vote for bratwurst!

Er...
JudgeDeadd.

[straston]

I vote for Yoke

Though I admit that the decision was hard. 

[Sinitrena]

I vote for YOke

[Eggie]

Welll...It was a close thing...and their were less votes than entries but the winner is...YOke!

Whoo! Yay!

[Bombadil]

Ow!

Too late, I wanted to vote for Judge...

[YOke]

Coolness!
Thanks to all my fans who got me to where I am today!

OK. New rules coming sometime later today. Have to think some up first...
Something clever...
Something...devious...