This chain story has been finished.
This is the result. Read and laugh/weep:
http://www.2dadventure.com/ags/Another_Day.doc
Sounds fun! I'd like to be in on this.
I don't mind being first, but if someone really wants it, that's fine too. Wherever I may fall, my email address is menglen at hotmail dot com.
Sounds pretty promising - I'm in.
dyson.sphere AT web DOT de
I'm in as well.
Edit: Oh, I need to give an e-mail...
fsi2nd < gmail > com
Sure, sounds fun.
But isn't 200 words a bit small? I mean, even if we're writing a short story, we'd need at least 20 writers just to reach a decent length. A standard murder-mystery novel could range from 50,000 - 200,000 words...
Unless we go around in a loop.
Edit: Oh - emeraldfool-at-writing-dot-com
Count me in!
edit: oops Email vince at thexiis dot com
Hey I'll give it a shot.
Guys ::) The e-mails too :P
Count me in Andail, I like the idea. the e-mail is tuomasrenvall (at) hotmail.com
Me too :) I don't mind where I end up. The address is auriond173 at hotmail dot com.
I don't want to finish it but hey I'll give a part of the story a good rollicking.
urquhart.cameron at gmail.com
I'm down for this gig.
a.edmark@gmail.com
I'm in.
But wouldn't it be simpler if we just PMed the story to the next person rather than emailing it?
stu@toxicsock.co.uk
I'm in :)
petterlj at yahoo dot se
Stupot, no it's much neater with a properly formatted word document. Especially when the story reaches a couple of pages, having a huge block of text as a pm is just an eye sore.
By the way, the reason I picked Monday was because I'll be away a couple of days. We could shorten the signing up-deadline to Saturday if you think we have enough writers by then. Of course, the first person on the list (that would be Candall) will have the responsibility to start at that date.
Babar, you need to reply again with a post at a position you prefer, and I'll remove your first post. This goes for the rest also; the order of the posts is the order we write in. If you don't like your position, then reply again and I'll erase the first post. Don't post in a position you don't want to write in.
babark at gmale
Edit by Andail: This post determines your position in the chain.
Andail, good point about PMing being a bit of an eye-sore.
How about making a list of the order in your original post so that we can refer to it nice and neatly?
[THIS IS MY SECOND POST IN THIS THREAD. I WILL HAVE ALREADY PLAYED. DON'T SEND ME THE STORY AGAIN. SKIP TO THE NEXT PERSON IN LINE]
I shall in be will I.
eggheadcheesybird@gmail.com
voh at hostvoh dot not
And I am in.
Quote from: Babar on Thu 14/02/2008 12:52:35
Me again, with position number 4 (after candall and 2 others).
babark at gmale
What does that make me?
My understanding is that if you want to be before me, you'd edit your previous post in this topic along with the position you want. If you want to be after me, edit the post you just wrote, and Andail will delete your previous one. If you wanted to be fourth, then you'll have to kill me.
About your previous post, I think 200 words is a goodly sized bit of writing, allowing us some space for writiness, without making us have to go one and on within the the small slot of the story we've been given. I'm pretty sure we're not trying to write a novel here, and if we were, it'd be damnably difficult to read it all without printing it out.
Count me in, too.
venus at pointnclick dot de
Got a new email address. Already pmed it to voh.
Sure, why not. I'd prefer not to be the last if that's ok. Other than that I don't mind.
jones81 "at" mail "dot" com
Quote from: Babar on Thu 14/02/2008 16:07:10
My understanding is that if you want to be before me, you'd edit your previous post in this topic along with the position you want. If you want to be after me, edit the post you just wrote, and Andail will delete your previous one. If you wanted to be fourth, then you'll have to kill me.
About your previous post, I think 200 words is a goodly sized bit of writing, allowing us some space for writiness, without making us have to go one and on within the the small slot of the story we've been given. I'm pretty sure we're not trying to write a novel here, and if we were, it'd be damnably difficult to read it all without printing it out.
That little post of yours was 124 words. Over half your allotted amount.
Believe me, 200 words is barely noticeable (unless you do a lot of exposition, or you're
really economical with words). I'd say either make it 2,000, or do a couple of rotations...
You can't write a decent scene in 200 words, even if it's just a quick conversation... (And you need at least 3 scenes - beginning, middle, and end. And that's a bare minimum...)
Or maybe I'm just long-winded when I write... :P
How about this: you can write 200 - 2,000 words. That way, it can suit all the writers and their individual styles.
The point isn't for you to write a full story, it's for you to write a tiny bit of the story and for the next person to continue it. Hell, you could stop mid-sentence if you want and see how the next person finishes it. You have to rely on the first writers to establish the story (begining) the next bunch to flesh it out (middle) and the last bunch of writers to wrap it all up (end). That's why it's a group activity and not just "Ok, write a mystery story and we'll all compare."
To look at it another way, we currently have 17 (?) entries. At 200 words apiece, that's 3400 words which is a nice short story. At 2000 words apiece, that's 34000 words which is in novella territory. And with a big mix of people writing, making this story an inconsistent mess, no one's going to want to read that. 3400 should be a fun (funny?) read!
200 was declared the maximum and the maximum it shall be!
Oh, and Babar, I think Andail was suggesting that when you post again, that the posting order is your writing order. I dont think you can declare your spot in line. Having the writing order be the posting order in this thread just makes everything easier.
It also makes it easier if we don't post in here discussing the activity while more people should be signing up.
Quote from: Vince Twelve on Thu 14/02/2008 23:57:07
To look at it another way, we currently have 17 (?) entries. At 200 words apiece, that's 3400 words which is a nice short story. At 2000 words apiece, that's 34000 words which is in novella territory.
I suppose when you look at it like that, it makes sense.
...
I'll shut up now :P
I'd like to be in on this, if possible...?
aglowdell AT hotmail.com
Coo, it's getting near the deadline... I'm going to throw myself into the ring, hoping that I'm not the last person! No one seems to want to have to write the end of this thing.
Borrowing a computer here...
Allright, tomorrow at noon is deadline for signing up. Yes, only the order in this thread determines the order you write in. You can't ask for another position. And yes, 200 is the wordcount we're going for.
Keep signing up :)
But....but....that means that there are 11 people before me! Someone of those please add yourself to the position here so that your previous position is deleted?
I don't mind closing the piece out...
Quote from: Antonio on Fri 15/02/2008 17:27:15
I don't mind closing the piece out...
You're not going to do something like "they all died in the end" or "it was all a dream..." are you?
That would be funny...
Damn, you spoiled it now...
I'll sign up, but I hope I don't get the ending.
Joshuan908 (at) msn (dot) com
Seems you got the ending, TheJBurger.
Allright, the order of posts in this thread is the order we write in. Once you recieve the document, you add your portion and send it along.
Babar, I'm sorry you didn't get a position you wanted, but it was never meant for people to request or bargain for positions.
Ok, Candall gets the ball rolling and sends it to Akatosh once he's done. No other must see the document until it's their turn.
Hey, hold on, today's saturday. I thought there's still two more days for people to sign up...
Nah we shortened the deadline :)
But good you brought it up, I'll edit the initial post.
Am I too late? Only, I wouldn't mind finishing it if the last guy doesn't want to.
My email is areyoujacksheehan at gmail.com
I'd just like to request that when you send along a document to the next in line, you PM that person as well to check their mail. My email filter is set to junk email from addresses not in my contact list, so I have to check that the document doesn't end up there.
If this is still open send me something at warg_leader at yahoo dot ca
Quote from: auriond on Sun 17/02/2008 02:52:25
I'd just like to request that when you send along a document to the next in line, you PM that person as well to check their mail. My email filter is set to junk email from addresses not in my contact list, so I have to check that the document doesn't end up there.
I agree.
Also, a final list of participants and their order i the story put into the initial post would be useful too (and who's turn it is). The whole thing got a little confused towards the end...
I'm pretty sure this is right:
Candy
'Tosh
FSi
Emerald
Vince
Fawful
Tuomas
Aurion
Cam
LGM
Stupe
Andy
Babar
Egg
Voh
Venus
Pixie
Anto
Paolo
JBurg
Dicky
Lo-rez
It was Saterday in my time zone when I posted it, so thank you.
Quote from: Emerald on Sun 17/02/2008 14:43:26
Also, a final list of participants and their order i the story put into the initial post would be useful too (and who's turn it is). The whole thing got a little confused towards the end...
Tell me if this is right:
I think you forgot me.
Riiight.
Well, we're up to 800 words now... sending it on to Vince 12
Yeah it was Saturday when i posted too. Can anyone give me an answer as to whether I'm in or out?
Y'know what, Andail didn't specify a time for the applications to end, just a day. And I don't see why two people tacked on to the end is that big a deal (not like you're interrupting the flow), especially when the guy who's last doesn't want to be last...
I said noon, but it's ok. Just don't sign up more now :)
Quote from: Andail on Mon 18/02/2008 18:56:31
I said noon, but it's ok. Just don't sign up more now :)
Technically, there's an almost infinite number of 'noons' (every nanosecond it's noon for some small portion of land somewhere on the face of the earth)
Wonderful! If no one else wants to close it I've got no problems with that.
Quote from: Emerald on Mon 18/02/2008 20:18:19
Technically, there's an almost infinite number of 'noons' (every nanosecond it's noon for some small portion of land somewhere on the face of the earth)
That's not true at all! For that to be true, there would have to be 86,400,000,000,000 time zones. :P
Anywho. Four people in, and already a huge contradiction in the story... Oh well. I guess I'll just pick one version to go with and you can just ignore whatever doesn't make sense... This is going to be an... interesting... read! I imagine it's going to be
real fun for the people near the end :)
well technaclly he is right, but it is a poor excuse. it still only leaves you 24 hours to post AFTER the deadline date. time zones ar e often quite political, look at a map of them some time.
"Anywho. Four people in, and already a huge contradiction in the story... Oh well. I guess I'll just pick one version to go with and you can just ignore whatever doesn't make sense... This is going to be an... interesting... read! I imagine it's going to be real fun for the people near the end :)"
Come on people, make sure you read and fully understand the flow of the piece before starting to write your 200 words, else it's gonna get too messy to work with...
Just to clarify, I wasn't bitching, last post. I tried to edit in some emoticons to make it look less so. That's all part of the fun of this activity!
I PMed Fawfulhasfury to get his email address this morning, but haven't heard back yet. So, in case someone was wondering, the story is currently halfway between person 5 and 6.
Emerald: I admit I was being a bit euro-centric by saying "noon" and expecting people to think Greenwich, but usually we go by official forum time here if nothing else is expressed.
Vince, it's disappointing that people don't care more for consistency, but it's rather expected isn't it? :) It'll be fun anyway, hopefully...
Quote from: Andail on Tue 19/02/2008 12:11:09
Vince, it's disappointing that people don't care more for consistency, but it's rather expected isn't it? :) It'll be fun anyway, hopefully...
Lets think of it as a challenge to try and cleverly tie up the inconsistencies to make it work.
Of course we haven't seen the story yet so we don't know how bad it is.
Well as long as it doesn't go 'You come to a fork in the road....'
So how bad is the contradiction?
Quote from: Akatosh on Tue 19/02/2008 16:59:38
So how bad is the contradiction?
Without getting into details... pretty bad. But not 'bad' as in 'bad writing', but 'bad' as in 'very contradictory to the previous paragraphs'...
I tried to tie it together and keep the plot moving, but it's always hard to know if the next person will understand where you're going with it. (And the next person after that...)
That's why I said 200 words was a bad idea... It chops up the narrative too much...
Again, like Vince said, I'm not complaining (I think it's hilarious). I just want you all to know that if this goes to pot, I called it. (And if it doesn't, then I'll probably take most of the credit, but that's really neither here nor there... ;D)
Actually. I don't want to point fingers, but it was your bit that made the biggest contradiction, Em :P If I'm not mistaken, you misread a previous person's bit and then tried to fix something that wasn't broken (it was just awkward).
Anyway, if you ignore the last 50 words of FSi's this all still makes sense... kind of... And maybe someone can find a way to make that bit make sense... kind of... ;D
Fawfulhasfury hasn't gotten back to me with his email address in 24 hours, so I'm just going to skip him and send it on to Tuomas in the interest of keeping this rolling. Sorry, fawful! Maybe you can squeeze back in somehow!
We have 48 hours don't we?
But he hasn't been active in seven days (http://www.adventuregamestudio.co.uk/yabb/index.php?action=profile;u=2537) so maybe he's on vacation.
Ah, I didn't see that 48 hour rule! You're right, Stu, I should probably wait. I'll try his Yahoo messenger and MSN messenger addresses in the mean time. Sorry Tuomas!
If the list is still as I last saw it, I have the suckers job of pulling all the threads together at the very end. Oh well. I don't mind really. It will certainly be, a challange.
(edit)It is.
Yeah, 's all cool. ;)
Quote from: Vince Twelve on Wed 20/02/2008 00:17:13
Actually. I don't want to point fingers, but it was your bit that made the biggest contradiction, Em :P
Anyway, if you ignore the last 50 words of FSi's this all still makes sense...
I was trying to do it so that nobody got ignored...
Spoiler
I dunno, FSi's paragraph was fairly ambiguous - it's debatable whether he's introducing a new character, or having the protagonist change his tune as he leaves the crime scene. I went with the latter, since there really wasn't any indication of the former...
It's hard to fully interpret the narrative direction people are taking in just 200 words. I'd be surprised if anyone manages to pick up on all the intentions of the previous posters...
It's kind of a cool experiment, actually. Like chinese whispers (you know, where you whisper something in one direction and it goes around the circle until it comes back completely different).
And even if people picked up on the previous person's intentions they are more likely to want to impress their own intentions... all writers are a little selfish like that.
Quote from: Stupot on Wed 20/02/2008 14:44:56
And even if people picked up on the previous person's intentions they are more likely to want to impress their own intentions... all writers are a little selfish like that.
Yeah, I wrote an article to that effect. I have known a bunch of writers on different sites, and in real life, and the one constant between them all seems to be inherent narcissism.
I mean, it is the dream of every writer to be published - to have as many people read what they write as possible. That, in itself, is proof of their narcissistic tendencies.
Not that there is anything wrong with a bit of narcissism...
I think all the arts are narcissistic. Think about it, you have a person who wants to put there heart and soul, translated through some medium, whether brush or pen or page, out there in the world and show it to as many people as possible, and then be praised for it. One could also call it co-dependant.
Can i still enter!? It seems really interesting.
No sorry, but try to make the deadline for next round. Whenever that is :)
An update: I've just sent it on to Cameron. It really is a mess, but I can see where the confusion occured - took me a few readings to see what each author probably intended. I may have added fuel to the fire, but I think it's pretty interesting now. There's still hope!
If it's really torn then I don't even want to participate. This is a project and people shouldn't f**k it up just for personal preferences.
EDIT: This was kinda stupid remark made on a spur of a moment.
Settle Pixel, this is a fun activity. You can tell the story was muddled because of confusion, but the confusion provided some interesting opportunities story wise. It's heading in a very mysterious direction. And also LGM's direction.
Fear not, young padawan. I will save this story. Or burn it.
hm, I mistakingly wrote .com in the end of my address instead of .se
just in case it's heading my way...
The post is updated now though.
Noted... LGM must be having a harder time saving the story than he first anticipated. :-*
I haven't even had a chance to read it yet. I'll have it out to the next person ASAP.
This mess of a story is now in the hands of Stupot the brave. God rest his soul.
Hehe... I've already palmed it off onto Andail.
I tried to make some semblance of sense of it but I think it's safe to start referring to this story as "The Practice Round".
I vote next time we listen to that ridiculously foresightful stallion Emerald and raise the word count so each writer doesn't have to rely on each other so much to follow their intentions...
yeah, we do that, and I promise I'll mess it up so that no-one can tell what's happening! ;)
Quote from: Emerald on Mon 25/02/2008 19:13:27
I vote next time we listen to that ridiculously foresightful stallion Emerald and raise the word count so each writer doesn't have to rely on each other so much to follow their intentions...
Or you could've asked me whether it was a change of POV or not (which it VERY obviously WAS). Next time I decide to do a change of POV I'll put a big red banner before it, reading: ACHTUNG!!! ACHTUNG!!! POV CHANGED!!! or something.
Sorry if that sounds rude, that's you mispercepting it. In fact I am very kind and tolerant to people.
Got it, hehe.
So far there are only a couple of true contradictions, but a large amount of style clashes and minor inconsistencies.
I really really think people need to read through the text carefully before adding their part. However, the biggest problem is that people seem forced to add a brand new plot element or twist just because they can.
This is not related to the fairly small additions we make (200 words), this is due to people not being interested in keeping a calm, steady pace in a linear direction, where sudden plot twists should be kept to a minimum.
Secondly, it seems that these collaborative efforts always (or at least the times we've done it so far) tend to cross the border into the supernatural...what's wrong with classical and mundane? A matter of taste, of course :)
PS: FSi...there are obvious problems with changing POV when both perspectives are first person :) So you get
"I bought an ice cream and ate it."
"I sat in my car and drove off."
...and you're supposed to understand that those two sentences were uttered by different people?
Ah well, I don't think you even contributed with the biggest inconsistency, so don't worry :)
Spoiler
I'd say the teleportation act between chapter one and chapter two sort of set the standard of contradictions :)
Quote from: Andail on Mon 25/02/2008 19:21:11
This is not related to the fairly small additions we make (200 words), this is due to people not being interested in keeping a calm, steady pace in a linear direction, where sudden plot twists should be kept to a minimum.
Obviously don't watch Prison Break, then. ;)
Quote from: FSi on Mon 25/02/2008 19:19:30
Or you could've asked me whether it was a change of POV or not (which it VERY obviously WAS). Next time I decide to do a change of POV I'll put a big red banner before it, reading: ACHTUNG!!! ACHTUNG!!! POV CHANGED!!! or something.
Oh come
on! There's a very big difference between a big red banner and
NO INDICATION WHATSOEVER.
Most people would use italics, or a bunch of line breaks (or wait for a new chapter) or use some sort of literary device, like glancing into a mirror to describe a completely new character... What they
don't do is suddenly change character point-of-view about 300 words into the story (and immediately after a previous character is introduced...)
Sorry if that sounds rude. My tone is actually really polite and friendly...
Or you could... Not change POV. That's a very harsh tactic that should be reserved for a much longer work...
Oh well, to each his own. This is still fun.
C'mon people, this is for fun. Relax.
I think the change of view was evident if you read carefully. First read-through was deceiving because both were first person, but on careful reading you can tell it's a different persona speaking. Factual inconsistencies also point to a new character. But again, all this is obvious only after I read it a second time, so I imagine it would have confused others too.
So just take it as something to watch out for next round: if changing character while using the same POV, try to make it more obvious by using a different setting, referring to the first character etc.
About plot twists: I would have thought that plot twists are all part of the whole point. Otherwise the person beginning the story is simply passing on a pre-determined story to different writers. Sure, we will probably end up with more shocking revelations and plot turns than a soap opera - but that's the result of having many different writers. Minor inconsistencies are to be expected too: just look at what happens when different writers take on a long-running storyline like Superman and Batman and so on.
I think that we need to keep in mind that we are writing not just for ourselves, but also for the next writer in line. So it would help to slip in hints and foreshadowing to give the writer some idea about what he can do.
Increasing the word limit might help or harm - I don't know yet. On the one hand, I think it would be fun to write more. On the other hand, wasn't the point of keeping it short a way to prevent the authors from running away with the story?
I think something that might help next time is a standard format. Chapter numbers, line breaks etc. This helps in basic readability; we already have many different writing styles to mess things up as it is, so every little bit helps.
Yeah, FSi's POV switch was very awkward changing from 1st person to 1st person. I don't think you'll find another book that does this. At least not without it being a major element, like each chapter being from a different point of view. Doing the same scene and writing it from 3rd person ("He pulled the meat truck into his driveway and thought to himself...") would have cleared everything up. As it is written, it is quite confusing, so I can forgive Emerald's misunderstanding in that respect. However...
Quote from: Emerald
It's hard to fully interpret the narrative direction people are taking in just 200 words. I'd be surprised if anyone manages to pick up on all the intentions of the previous posters...
I can't believe that the guy who admitted to me in a PM that he didn't even read all of the 800 words that preceded his bit is suggesting more words. How can you pick up on the intentions of previous writers if you don't even read the thing?!
Quote from: Emerald on Mon 25/02/2008 19:13:27
I vote next time we listen to that ridiculously foresightful stallion Emerald and raise the word count so each writer doesn't have to rely on each other so much to follow their intentions...
The point of the activity is to rely on others. You can't be the totally narcissistic writer that you've already talked about in this thread. You have to follow other's leads and then relinquish control to someone else. If you want to write a story where you're in control, write a story. This is a group activity. More words to write just means more words for other people to take it in directions that don't match the direction that you want to take it in and then you'd still be grumpy. Go with the flow. And make sure to READ THE WHOLE THING before you slap on your bit.
And back on topic, I can't wait to see where this thing ends up! Hurry up people! :=
I am rather curious myself, now.
Quote from: Vince Twelve on Tue 26/02/2008 02:03:28
I can't believe that the guy who admitted to me in a PM that he didn't even read all of the 800 words that preceded his bit is suggesting more words. How can you pick up on the intentions of previous writers if you don't even read the thing?!
What the bloody hell are you talking about? I read the thing three goddamn times. Why wouldn't I read 800 words? It's kind of important isn't it - I'm writing onto a story without actually reading it? And 800 words isn't exactly much. I could quote you the entire thing, about a week after reading it. I don't believe you - talk about misinterpreting what people say!
Quote
The point of the activity is to rely on others. You can't be the totally narcissistic writer that you've already talked about in this thread. You have to follow other's leads and then relinquish control to someone else.
Seriously, what the hell? I haven't a clue where you're coming up with this crap. You automatically assume that because I'm not you, I'm some kind of intellectually inferior, borderline mentally handicapped dick-waggler? I join a chain story, and then write on to it without reading anything anyone has written? Why the hell would I bother? You think I need you to explain to me the concept of teamwork?
I think you need someone to explain the concept of getting off your high horse. You see, when you're on a high horse, it's easy to look down and
assume that people are stupider than you, because, well, you're so high up you can't really hear
what they're saying. But the truth is, unless you actually listen to anyone but yourself, you can't really be the great judge of character you seem to think you are.
Now, don't get me wrong, I
do love being judged by people, but it just sticks in my craw when the judge in question has his head lodged so far up his own arse he can't hear anything but his own gurgling bowels (and I know I switched hearing-metaphors half-way through and I apologise for that...)
Rant end. :P
Seriously though, it's just a bit of fun. Lighten up.
Why does it feel like the
real detective story is in figuring out whose fault it was why the fictional one has succumbed to the laws of memetics...
If anyone is on their high horse Emerald it's you. I was next in line for the story after Vince and it was your part that kinda got everything snaggled, when I read through FSi's part the shift in POV was a bit rough, but I got that it was someone else, and when you started it did feel like you hadn't read the previous part closely, or even with mild interest.
Babar, can you confirm that you've recieved it? Or the person after...just so we know where it is now.
Oh, and let's stop blaming each other. At least we've learnt a few things for next round :)
Maybe so, and I'll readily admit that I didn't grasp what FSi intended. And I don't blame him for that. I never blamed anyone for anything.
I screwed up. I'll admit that. I have enough self-esteem not to let that bother me.
What I don't like is when people start lecturing me. This is the 'AGS chain story' thread. I assumed it was about writing a story. Nobody told me that I'd spend 10 minutes writing, and 10 days listening about how I eat babies because I misunderstood something which could easily be misunderstood. That's not what I signed up for.
Quote from: Emerald on Tue 26/02/2008 12:17:39
What the bloody hell are you talking about?
I was talking about this PM. Or maybe I'm misinterpreting what you said. Direct quote from you:
(Edited out story spoilers! Thanks Babar and Andail!)
QuoteQuote
The point of the activity is to rely on others. You can't be the totally narcissistic writer that you've already talked about in this thread. You have to follow other's leads and then relinquish control to someone else.
Seriously, what the hell? I haven't a clue where you're coming up with this crap. You automatically assume that because I'm not you, I'm some kind of intellectually inferior, borderline mentally handicapped dick-waggler?
Whoa there nelly. ("Stallion," "high-horse," "nelly," get it? :-*) Sorry you took that so seriously. It wasn't just written to you. The "you" was kind of the royal "you" but my comment was brought on from your post. I wasn't calling you narcissistic, I was suggesting that we need to avoid the narcissism that you were discussing with others earlier in the thread since this is an activity where we have to work together. That's what makes it a useful and fun excercise.
Sorry if I ruffled your feathers. I guess I forgot that you're not one of the rough-and-tumble bunch I'm used to.
Apologies to all. Last post until the story is released! Looking forward to it.
Edit: I just had a thought. Who's going to make the adventure game version of this story? It's sure to be a front runner for the P3N1S award.
Edit by Andail: Removed story spoilers. Although hidden, we're not supposed to disclose story elements.
Quote from: Vince Twelve on Tue 26/02/2008 12:42:05I guess I forgot that you're not one of the rough-and-tumble bunch I'm used to.
I laughed ;D.
I am really interested to see how this project turns out guys. Sounds like it will make for interesting reading.
I've got it now. I'm working on it, with a huge brainstorm list to make sense of the characters, and attempt to line up some blatant contradictions. People might not like the solution I have in mind, but...too bad :P
Also, while I guess it isn't really that much of a big deal, you probably should put that bit in spoiler tags, Vince.
Psh, 'royal you' my ass...
Quote from: Vince Twelve on Tue 26/02/2008 12:42:05
I was talking about this PM. Or maybe I'm misinterpreting what you said. Direct quote from you:
Spoiler
Aha! You
did misinterpret. I was saying that I forgot a small part of the previous paragraph. That doesn't mean I didn't read it, and it doesn't mean I walked in and went "Durrr, I rite storee!1!" without reading the whole 800 words...
Quote
Whoa there nelly. ("Stallion," "high-horse," "nelly," get it? :-*) Sorry you took that so seriously. It wasn't just written to you. The "you" was kind of the royal "you" but my comment was brought on from your post. I wasn't calling you narcissistic
Sorry if I ruffled your feathers. I guess I forgot that you're not one of the rough-and-tumble bunch I'm used to.
My feathers are very much un-ruffled... I just felt like unleashing a foamy rant. Mandarb made it look like so much fun in the other thread...
Edit by Andail: Removed story spoilers. Although hidden, we're not supposed to disclose story elements.
Not remembering it doesn't make it any better or nullify his point. And did you not read back and make sure your section flowed?
Quote from: [Cameron] on Tue 26/02/2008 13:17:06
Not remembering it doesn't make it any better or nullify his point. And did you not read back and make sure your section flowed?
At that point, 'flowing' didn't seem like much of an option.
Edit by Andail: Removed story spoilers. Even hidden, we're not supposed to disclose story elements.
Guys.
Quit, already! You're starting to sound like bickering sparrows. :P Emerald knows he made a mistake, and the rest of us probably did our part too. Tea-party and all. So let's all be quiet until Babar posts the finish product, and THEN you can resume the wrangling. :)
Hehe, the chain posting here is almost as entertaining as the story itself :)
Quote from: auriond on Tue 26/02/2008 13:28:30
So let's all be quiet until Babar posts the finish product, and THEN you can resume the wrangling. :)
We're only halfway through the list aren't we?
I'm interested to see what the current status is, though. I'm quite looking forward to it to be honest... Then maybe someone could have a go at rewriting the entire thing. Despite the problems it does have the basis of quite a ripping-yarn.
D'oh. *dumb moment* Ok, then we shush till... *checks list* Lo-rez posts the final product.
Maaan, being one of the first ones sucks. You get all the blame, and you're kept in the dark most of the time...
Oh yeah, and I should mention that Dicky = Jack Sheehan. I call him Dicky 'cause I found out his real name is Richard :P
Passed it on to Eggie now. I'm not sure if I made it more difficult, or less difficult for him :D, but it should be somewhat more interesting, and hopefully my input is not too cheesy.
Quote from: Vince Twelve on Tue 26/02/2008 12:42:05
Edit: I just had a thought. Who's going to make the adventure game version of this story? It's sure to be a front runner for the P3N1S award.
That's not a half-bad idea. Maybe we could convince everyone involved in the story to contribute a bit of graphics, writing, or code?
Quote from: Emerald on Tue 26/02/2008 13:43:53
Maaan, being one of the first ones sucks. You get all the blame, and you're kept in the dark most of the time...
Oh yeah, and I should mention that Dicky = Jack Sheehan. I call him Dicky 'cause I found out his real name is Richard :P
How did you discover that? I'm just curious.
Ooh, it's almost my turn to add to the cesspit that is this story :D
I can't wait! :=
Quote from: Jack Sheehan on Tue 26/02/2008 17:38:34Quote from: Emerald
Oh yeah, and I should mention that Dicky = Jack Sheehan. I call him Dicky 'cause I found out his real name is Richard :P
How did you discover that? I'm just curious.
Well, first I got your IP address, and figured out your Internet Service Provider - I rang them up, and seduced the secretary until she gave me her password to the client files - searched through and found the account which matched your IP address. However, the name was missing - but it did give an address. I rode the train down to Mayo, only to find it was the billing address - your rich Uncle Billy Johnson. After several hours of brutal interrogation, he finally submitted and told me
your address. Rode the train back, found your house, but you weren't home. So I slashed the tires of whoever's car was parked outside and went to the pub, got drunk, and decided it would be really funny to download porn onto a cybercafe computer. Then I discovered there were firewalls in place to stop people from doing that, so I went onto AGS and found this post:
QuoteWell my real name is Richard Johnson but I just had to change it, I had far too many offers from international espionage agencies for work.
Talking to yourself is a sign of madness being retarded.
Forget the above, I'm crazy.
You're not crazy, you just lack my exquisite observational skills...
Ah, Curse you Billy!
Quote from: auriond on Tue 26/02/2008 13:42:33
D'oh. *dumb moment* Ok, then we shush till... *checks list* Lo-rez posts the final product.
[deadpan] I get all tingly inside just thinking about it. [/deadpan]
I felt like sodding of the lot of you because I'm really tired and mad and then I have to read this brainless shouting and ranting, as if people didn't have anything better to do. It's bloody annoying. Just please, shut up. If you have a problem with something, don't make it everyone's problem. It won't help you and it won't help them. and no, I didn't write a name here. Tell me when the story's done, maybe I'll force myself to reading it.
Wow, that has to be one of the most hypocritical posts I've ever seen :P
(http://www.adventuregamestudio.co.uk/yabb/index.php?topic=33860.0)
Emerald, what are you going to achieve here?
I don't have the patient to read the whole thing, but if you continue to add pointless rants here I may take action, be warned.
So just let the activity continue.
Quote from: Emerald on Tue 26/02/2008 23:45:35
Wow, that has to be one of the most hypocritical posts I've ever seen :P
(http://www.adventuregamestudio.co.uk/yabb/index.php?topic=33860.0)
Posted before the link ;) This is what spawned the idea. And no, it's not the most hypocritical post, not even close. It's just a bit hypocritical :P
Quote from: Gilbot V7000a on Wed 27/02/2008 01:48:49
I don't have the patient to read the whole thing, but if you continue to add pointless rants here I may take action, be warned.
...?
Quote from: Emerald on Tue 26/02/2008 19:12:19
You're not crazy, you just lack my exquisite observational skills...
Don't say that. Otherwise I'm forced to change my name to "Mundane". As is written... in IRC.
Quote from: Crazy on Wed 27/02/2008 19:44:53
Quote from: Emerald on Tue 26/02/2008 19:12:19
You're not crazy, you just lack my exquisite observational skills...
Don't say that. Otherwise I'm forced to change my name to "Mundane". As is written... in IRC.
Wouldn't then your name really be "Just-lack-my-exquisite-observational-skills"?
Then I can call him Lackey...
Back on topic... who's got the story at the moment?
I'm itching to see the end product.
It hasn't reached me yet, so I guess it's either still with Eggie or voh already has it.
I can't wait to see this thing...
@voh: Can you please send the story to another email address, since I can't check the one I posted here earlier very frequently at the moment? I'll pm you the new one in a minute.
I like, totally didn't receive it yet. Eggie must still be working on it (or he fell asleep again).
I think we can cut him some slack, after all, it's his birthday today :)
No... No I sent it the day I got it, although I wasn't sure about the address... I used .net instead of .not because I assumed it was a typo.
But I didn't get a mailer daemon reply so...
Well, I sent it to someone...
Where'd you send it to? Because you were supposed to send it to me :P
edit: f'ing spamfilter picked it out of the list. I've got it, shall send it on ASAP.
edit: It's been sent on to Venus, with the email she sent me.
Would it be a good idea to, once you receive and/or send it, you post here to let the rest know there's still progress?
To limit confusion, so to speak.
P.S.: OMG what a mess :P
I have received the story and will start working immediately. Thanks voh. I'll edit this post as soon as I've sent it on. I like voh's idea of reporting back once you've received and/or sent a story.
Off to do my bit now...
EDIT 1: Oh my, just read it for the first time. These are gonna be the hardest 200 words of my life.
EDIT 2: Done and sent on to pixelperfect. I wouldn't wanna be in lo-res' shoes... ;D
Heheh, there were definitely some words I wrote which I never thought I'd write in that context :P
Eager to see how it turns out :)
(also, do not envy lo_res)
This sucks. I wanna seeee...
Only 5 more, we're very close to the ending :)
Okay I got it. I'll start to read/write with my organic hard disk.
EDIT: Damn that was hard. Well it's sent to Antonio now. Our "hero" is truly a complex character, I can tell you that. I honestly don't know if I did good, because it's such a mess, even if you try to make sense of it (I did manage to cook up one possible solution which I followed but tried to leave options still open). At this point it's pretty hard to have a neat ending, but let's see what happens. Maybe lo_res will wing it out of the park. :D
Considering how many people are left, after PixelPerfect people should start some resolutions. That way it isnt left up to lo_res to put it all together slapdash in 200 words.
Exactly what I was thinking Cam, I'm just about to start reading through now...
Done my bit. :-X
Does anybody know Paolo's email address? It's not in his original post...
Best to PM him, then he'll see when he logs in :)
Try Ben304. He worked on Paolo's game. If anyone knows his email, it'd be him.
Passed onto Paolo. That last word was perfect pixel...
However this turns out, I just want to congratulate Andail on creating a challenge that has gotten the most attention for a writing contest as of yet, and has garnered a lot of participation as well.
Kudos!
OK, I've added my bit and posted it on to TheJBurger (and also PM'd him).
The switch between narrators makes things a bit hard to follow, but I've just switched to the third person because this makes it clear who is saying what. My section is from [edited to remove potential spoiler] the perspective of one of the secondary characters, in any case.
Good luck, guys, just three more sections to go! I can't wait to see how this turns out. Hear, hear, voh - thanks for setting this up, Andail.
oooh its me next. I hope it isn't absolute shite!
Okay I just sent it to Jack. Two writers--400 words left. I found it really hard to steer this in an end direction since so many plot elements were left either unresolved, or just ignored since the beginning (particularly from one scene which I won't mention! :D). Anyway, I hope it's not a complete mess by the end. :)
ok admittadly im reading this while really locked but still, what the fuck? it makes no sense!
[deadpan] My sense of foreboding ever increases. [/deadpan]
Ug, sorry about that comment last night. Let's have another look at this shall we?
I feel for you LR man. I really do. Best of luck mate.
I've sent it to lo rez, We'll soon have an ending to this fairy tale. (and the sunset into which we sail)
Anticipation! ;)
Like Cartman waiting the Wii: "C'moon.... C'Moooooon" :D
I know I'm excited. I've seen less of the thing than anyone!
Okay, So I don't cause any fingernail bitting related injuries, I will just let you know that I just got the story and I am at school right now, so I can't work on it. At the moment I have read about a fifth of it and I am desperitly confused. I will do my best and I would like to thank [Cameron] for suggesting people start working on a resolution before I get my grubby paws on it, and don't worry, this will be done before Duke Nukem FOrever comes out, though maybe not before Legend of the Lost Lagoon ;), peace out.
[edit] Read, can't understand, even less understanding of how to finish it, not sure who is who and SERIOUSLY grossed out by one part. *Sigh* We shall see.
Please do tell me it's done soon, I really am dieing to read it lo_res.
I have a feeling this is going to somehow be more hilarious than my wild imagination could ever envision...
I'm more worried that it will just be confusing and grotesque!
I can assure you that it's both... ;)
Quote from: Andail on Wed 13/02/2008 16:19:48
You have 48 hours to send the story, and after this the previous writer will re-send their document to the person next in the list.
So, what do we do when the last person takes more than 48 hours? :P
Relax, it's not even 24 hours yet
Quote from: Vince Twelve on Wed 05/03/2008 22:23:45
Quote from: Andail on Wed 13/02/2008 16:19:48
You have 48 hours to send the story, and after this the previous writer will re-send their document to the person next in the list.
So, what do we do when the last person takes more than 48 hours? :P
Then Andail, being the big Swedish boss of the game takes the lead and finishes the story so well, that we get the nobel literacy price. I think we can at least expect that, I mean, responsibility and all that.
Quote from: Emerald on Wed 05/03/2008 22:31:32
Relax, it's not even 24 hours yet
Who's not relaxed? I was making a joke.
And unless I'm mistaken, it's been 56.
... not that I'm counting... :P
Should I just post it as a long post or what?
Why don't you upload the doc file somewhere and link to it?
(hooray! it's done! right?)
I finished it with what I believe to be the spirit with which it was written.
Here it is, knock yourselves out.
http://www.2dadventure.com/ags/Another_Day.doc
Woo hoo.
Hooray it's done! Reading now.
Edit: Oh my god.... I thought it got cleared up that the cop wasnt the killer, now he is again.... AHHH!
Wow, that was one heck of a trip reading that. XD
I felt sick in some places, but towards the end an awed kind of feeling came over me. This is either the world's worst piece of writing or an example of sheer twisted genius. And I think that with some polish and glue, it could well be the latter.
Thanks to Andail for starting this, and congrats to those that had the unenviable task of finishing the story! It was indeed in the spirit of the beginning. Well done everyone :)
I got pretty darn confused, but most of that got resolved. I'm just glad I got to write some heart eating goodness. Thanks Andail, and everyone who participated.
Wow, nice story. Even with the whole derailment business =) it still reads, er, nice?
P.S. I apologise for any inconvenience that my POV change trick may have inflicted. It all was Emerald's fault anyway :=
Wow. Nice ending. It somehow senselessly makes sense to a senseless story.
I shall take my share of that as a compliment ;)
Hehe, cheers everyone...interesting read. I wonder how many mental illnesses we have endowed our poor protagonist with.
Some nice quotes:
"Being crazy is a funny thing. Once you know you're crazy, it's easy to keep being crazy."
"...it was soothing, like a bath in warm blood."
"The phone rang high and trill causing my heart to jump into my throat.
The one in my body, not in the jar."
So, hm...should we start pointing out apparent contradictions now? :P
Perhaps some people feel obliged to explain what they meant with their passages?
That heart in the throat one was mine :D Although Vince did give the impetus for it.
Did I?
HAHAHA! It actually turned out pretty damned great. I agree with Auriond, with some editing and a facelift, this could be twisted genius.
This is full of story spoilers, which I assume are ok now.
It's interesting, I see three real sections of the story:
The first part starts out as a normal detective story (and props to Candall, it was a great first 200 words). I would include FSi's bit from the POV of the killer in this first part, even though keeping it in first person when switching POV was not a great choice, it was still standard detective fair with a psychotic killer to be caught.
Then the second part starts. The "What the hell is going on here" section. Emerald had a misunderstanding and for a bit things were difficult to follow but eventually got smoothed out to all making sense, with a little detour into grotesque-ville. :P By the end of this section (counting words, I think around Andail) it had smoothed out (and been very nicely summarized) and was ready to turn back into a detective story. For the record, the "detective" has still not done any actual detecting and should be immediately sacked.
Then came the third bit. The "Holy hell it's all going nuts again" bit. At first when I got there I was thinking "What the hell are you doing, this had finally settled down to become a real story again" but eventually, the Bears, the multiple personalities, the newspaper, it all started making a semblance of sense. And the best part about it is, due to the writers not actually understanding what was going on, the complexities of the story were never explained, which to me is fantastic because it leaves it up to the reader to interpret. What were the family issues behind the first organ killing? How were Lane and Carmine connected to the parties involved? There's enough in there to kind of guess, but it's up to you to imagine what all really went down. I really like this, especially when compared to todays TV shows, movies, and books that feel the need to hold the viewer/reader's hand all the way through. However, I should point out, that the detective has still not done any detecting and the people responsible for sacking him have been sacked.
The ending came about 400 words too early! But the last couple people did a nice job of adding an epilogue.
Well done everyone! It was twisted and bizarre and delicious!
If we do this activity again, we need to make sure that we first of all, keep the POV consistent throughout the piece. The only POV change that I thought really was done well was the Carmine section (taken into third person, flowed well, and it was relevant to the story). Also, making sure to read the whole thing through a few times to make sure you understand everything and then writing something that follows in the intention of the story so far, rather than taking control of the story to turn it in the direction you want. I think most people were playing for the team and a few people were just seeing what kind of twist they could throw in. Not that there's anything inherrently wrong with that, everyone was in the activity for their own reasons. And the... three? four?... people who really threw in curves really added big challenges for everyone else and those challenges were met excellently. The story wouldn't have been the same without those bizarre bits, that's for sure and I really loved them all in the end.
I am sorry, but I really didn't like it. I guess what turned me off was eating the heart, and then the spider man and then the confusion and then...*runs away screaming*
It was like reading the work of an addled mind! It seems pretty clear that some people were deliberately trying to derail the narrative to be jokey/idiotic while others were desperately trying to maintain some level of coherence, and the results are just...bad. I definitely recommend some kind of quality control if this sort of thing is repeated, perhaps by having the person running the contest read each section before submitting it to the next person.
Quote from: ProgZmax on Thu 06/03/2008 08:02:49
I definitely recommend some kind of quality control if this sort of thing is repeated, perhaps by having the person running the contest read each section before submitting it to the next person.
A question: Is the purpose of this activity to create good literature or that the participants have fun writing? I was under the impression it was the latter.
The idea is to have fun, but having someone oversea the continuity might be a good idea, thus making it easier for each writer, and also, you know, to prevent grumbling.
\o//
Yaay!
/me starts reading right away
/EDIT: Buh... wah?
I don't think there should be any kind of oversight or quality control, though I did email Emerald after getting the story from him and asked him if he would like to rewrite due to his misunderstanding. That was probably counter to the purpose of the activity. I didn't hear back from him though, so I just ran with it.
If we do another chain writing activity, I would throw out the suggestion that we have two teams of ten people instead of one giant team and start them both off with the same theme or even the same 200 word intro. Then, the turnaround would be shorter and we could see how different the two stories turned out.
I guess I must raise my hat to everyone who seriously managed to read this text. I really am glad I wasn't one of the last, that would have meant that. But it is really... perhaps one day I'll force myself. It's not very good, not at all in fact :P :(
I second Vinces idea for teams, that sounds pretty cool. Be interesting to see how the stories vary.
Oh, that, indeed is a very nice idea! Just as a suggestion wait until all interested members have "applied" and then simply divide by two... (Am I not an expert in management? Huh? HUH??!?!?) ;D
Or why not have six groups? Halfway into the first two stories, they branch again. Four different endings, like a good adventure game.
Like this:
Theme (e.g. dadaist space opera)
/ \
/ \
group 1 group 2
John Abe
Sam Dick
Henry Oscar
/ \ / \
/ \ / \
grp 3 grp 4 grp 5 grp6
Pat Winston Eric Gabriel
Sonny Alex Graham Thomas
Pat Jr. Ron Michael Nigel
All names are fictive.
John and Abe both starts from scratch, on the same topic (or, instead of only a topic, there is a 200 words introduction). Henry sends their version of the story on to Pat and Winston, and Oscar sends their document to Eric and Gabriel.
Pat Jr, Ron, Michael and Nigel conclude their documents and publish them.
Of course, this requires some 18-20 people just to create stories comprising 1.2k words each, so we need plenty of committment.
We could even vote for the best version afterwards.
That would be really interesting to see Andail, and obviously there's people that want to write. Maybe we should give it a shot, I'd put my name down.
Wow.
That was actually one of the best short stories I've read for a long time.
Some people didn't appreciate the twists as much as others, but I ask you, what kind of story would it have been without them? A boring one is my answer. They added a great deal of depth and helped to create a world for the story and a background to the characters.
All the time I was reading it, it was playing out in my mind's eye almost cinematically. I think it would make a great short film. The first person narrative would work brilliantly for this.
I'm looking forward to the next challenge. As this was a team effort with no 'winner' who decides the theme etc... Andail you wanna set another one?
I'm not a fan of this 'splitting the story up' idea... There seems to be just the right number of us to write a story of a decent length. This last effort wasn't without its teething problems but I think we should stick to the system we have for a few rounds before playing about with the format.
I'd be up for that, Andail. ;D
Wow, this was... quite the read. Boggles the mind, it does!
I still don't know whether Vince was joking or not, but I think it would be awesome for a bunch of us to contribute assets for an adventure game. With everybody throwing art, dialogue and scripting into the mix we'd get something as bizarre and cobbled as the story itself!
Hehe, that was a nice read.
I'd be up for a second round, no matter what it's gonna look like. I have to second what Stupot said though. Maybe we should first test what we have a little bit more before we start experimenting...
Reading it as a whole it ALMOST makes sense, and lo rez did a nice job cleaning up the mess of the end. I'd definitely so this again. Perhaps we should begin suggesting a new topic. My suggestion: Russia.
I think it would make a nice official competition. Andail could pick his favourite paragraph, and the writer chooses the next topic, and the next winner, and so on...
It would encourage people to think harder about what they're going to write (since they want to win), and it also ensures that Andail doesn't start to run dry on ideas...
Anyway, I'll try to read it now before I go see Macbeth in the Helix (bleh).
Edit1: Wow, missed a whole page of this thread. I like the idea of teams - it might keep things more coherent, especially if the team-members are communicative.
Edit2: Ugh. That was quite excruciating. Although, maybe I shouldn't be reading it the same way I'd read a normal piece of writing (more like you need to read it a little dissociatively in order to get it to come out sounding normal).
I think next time the characters, settings and general plot should be set out definitively, so the focus is more about writing than twisting/untwisting...
Quote from: Emerald on Thu 06/03/2008 16:47:19
I think it would make a nice official competition. Andail could pick his favourite paragraph, and the writer chooses the next topic, and the next winner, and so on...
It would encourage people to think harder about what they're going to write (since they want to win), and it also ensures that Andail doesn't start to run dry on ideas...
Anyway, I'll try to read it now before I go see Macbeth in the Helix (bleh).
Edit1: Wow, missed a whole page of this thread. I like the idea of teams - it might keep things more coherent, especially if the team-members are communicative.
Tell me if Macbeth is good will you? I have to go to it for my LC course.
Got some bad reviews I think.
Anyway, we should probably PM this.
Quote from: Emerald on Thu 06/03/2008 16:47:19
I think next time the characters, settings and general plot should be set out definitively, so the focus is more about writing than twisting/untwisting...
That would be boring. The charm of this exercise was in not knowing where the hell it was going. If we all knew the plot before we began then it wouldn't have been half as fun.
What would be the point in writing 200 words if it was just padding. I added the newspaper clipping in my 200 words and it became an important part of the story. If I'd have just written a few words linking the previous 200 to the next 200 then it would have been most unsatisfactory.
Well, that was...different!
Apart from the bizarre aspects such as literally eating someone's heart out, the story made relative sense.
I would also like to recommend that the word count be lowered as it took a while for me to read and became a novel rather than a short story.
Quote from: Andail on Thu 06/03/2008 07:48:03
So, hm...should we start pointing out apparent contradictions now? :P
Perhaps some people feel obliged to explain what they meant with their passages?
The most confusing thing to me was how Detective Lane went from:
- An honest, hard working detective, to
- A heart stealing, accomplice with a shadowy figure, to
- A borderline hallucinatory madman, to
- He actually was trying to kill the first person?
Quote from: lo res man
I am sorry, but I really didn't like it. I guess what turned me off was eating the heart, and then the spider man and then the confusion and then...*runs away screaming*
Call me a sicko, but I actually loved the heart-eating part. I think it may be my favorite part out of the whole story. :P
Quote from: Vince Twelve on Thu 06/03/2008 10:45:41
If we do another chain writing activity, I would throw out the suggestion that we have two teams of ten people instead of one giant team and start them both off with the same theme or even the same 200 word intro. Then, the turnaround would be shorter and we could see how different the two stories turned out.
Yes, I vouch for this. It sounds like it will be great fun.
I don't mean set out exactly what's going to happen, I mean set out a very vague outline. People can still do twists, but not something along the lines of "suddenly, aliens arrive and start blowing shit up"
So, you'd say...
Plot: A man kills his superior for personal gain
Setting: Seventeenth century England
Protagonist: Melancholy and tragically ambitious
That leaves plenty of room for a good story, but is still limiting enough to give everyone a sense of purpose, and keep things within the realms of what could fathomably occur (if that's a word).
In other words, with something definitive to refer back to, there's less to be lost in translation between each writer. (i.e. the characters stay relatively consistent, and the events can have a more coherent pacing)
Quote from: Andail on Thu 06/03/2008 07:48:03
Perhaps some people feel obliged to explain what they meant with their passages?
I switched to Carmine's POV as I wasn't feeling anything for the Lane character. I hope it didn't interrupt the flow too much.
Overall I think the piece has too many narrative and point of view changes but it still has the semblence of a good story.
This was my first foray into writing anything that would be read by strangers and I loved it. Can't wait for the next round, whichever format we decide on...
I just made the guy wash his face and hands from all the blood thinking that wouldn't be too subtle for making it seem like the killer and the other guys were the same person, because that's what I thought of him when I read the beginning of the story. :-\
I like to think I'm the one who broke James's mind.
Honestly, it seemed like the only way to explain how the world kept shifting around him... plus, we already knew he was insane, really. Sane people don't eat hearts.
I also imagined the event at the beginning of the story and the subsequent heart eating to be the 'organ killing' that happened 15 years ago, but in the characters perception both the murders only happened a couple of nights apart.
Mr. Bear is made of spiders becauses spiders are icky. As is murder.
It is deep.
Anyway, a thought: Introducing sudden twists isn't usually a great tactic early on in the story but when it happens i think it's probably best to roll with them rather than to try and 'twist back'.
EDIT: Also, I was dissapointed when the main character turned out to a male. I don't know why but I got the impression it was a she from the first paragraph and a yarn about socially inept female detective genius sounded like fun.
Quote from: Eggie on Thu 06/03/2008 19:34:35
I was dissapointed when the main character turned out to a male.
Heh, that was my fault. Carmine said "no, sir" to him. So actually, it was Carmine's fault. Blame her.
QuoteIf we do another chain writing activity, I would throw out the suggestion that we have two teams of ten people instead of one giant team and start them both off with the same theme or even the same 200 word intro. Then, the turnaround would be shorter and we could see how different the two stories turned out.
I like the idea of starting with the same original paragraph a firm idea and theme and two teams seperating off.It will take longer, but hopefully it will weed out a bit of the, "joyrider" element. It will probably still be crap, but hopefully it will not make my head implode this time.
Kudos to everybody! It certainly is a challenging piece to the reader. :)
For the next one the two teams idea is good, but maybe we should try this one more time before changing it? Maybe we can do it with a less of confusion this time around?
Yes, let's stick with the same format for one more round first. I think we need to iron out how it will work before we try with two teams.
My suggestion is that we establish at least the main character. The rest of the story can go haywire, but I think the reason why this story broke, or became genius, was how the protagonist himself was hopelessly incoherent. So I suggest that we decide on a main character before we start on the next one. Just my two cents :)
Quote from: auriond on Thu 06/03/2008 23:28:49
I suggest that we decide on a main character before we start on the next one. Just my two cents :)
I agree. Even though that was practically copied from my previous post...
Well, maybe I didn't make myself clear - you suggested a rough plot, protagonist and so on... I think just a character will do :)
Well, that turned out...interesting. It's slightly disappointing that the plot line was cemented by the third section, in so much as it introduced a plot point that could only take the story in one direction. I gave up trying to pick out who had written what soon after, as the whole shebang descended into madness.
Taken as an experiment, I think it was a successful demonstration of the Butterfly Effect.
I think giving the participants creative carte blanche in the next round will have a similar result. :)
Quote from: auriond on Fri 07/03/2008 01:40:35
Well, maybe I didn't make myself clear - you suggested a rough plot, protagonist and so on... I think just a character will do :)
I still came up with the notion :P
Maybe just agreeing that the main character is reasonably sane this time around? The insanity bit just doesn't work when switching writers.
Quote from: PixelPerfect on Fri 07/03/2008 17:17:20
Maybe just agreeing that the main character is reasonably sane this time around? The insanity bit just doesn't work when switching writers.
In fairness, that was mainly caused by me misunderstanding the POV switch. Although if it had been stated 'no crazy protagonists' from the beginning, I wouldn't have made the mistake...
The main problems arise, however, when different writers interpret 'insanity' in different ways. He ranges from mildly 'odd' to a psychotic heart-eater and back again throughout the story...