The remarkable insult sword fighting competition!*
* No actual swords are involved.
Rules are simple. You sign up here. When the registration process is over, I'll randomly pit duelists against each other. They then trade insults until the time is up, and the others will vote for the winner. Rhyming will render bonus points. Failure to respond within the allocated time will result in walkover.
Phase one, registrationWe will let people sign up here for a couple of days before the fights begin.
Phase two, duellingUsing incredibly advanced randomizing algorithms I will assign the pairs, and start up the match-threads, and say who begins.
Rules for insult sword fighting:
* You must reply within 24 hours, or it's a WO. Otherwise this will drag on forever.
* You may never double post.
* You may not edit your post after the remorse-period of a minute (if there's an "edited" message in your post, you're out!)
* You don't have to rhyme, but it's great if you do! Oh and you can't end all your insults with "orange" just to sabotage.
* Unlike MI, our insults can vary in length, and be several lines long. There are no limits here, really.
* All matches last for 5 days.
* This should be a fun competition, so don't go overboard with personal insults. However, you must tolerate a certain amount of mockery, or this won't make sense. So don't join if you're totally super sensitive. For instance, if I joined, I would have to prepare myself to be mocked for being so provokingly awesome.
Phase three, voting When the first round of duelling is over, I will open a poll for each and every thread, and the general populace will get to vote for a period of two days.
Phase four, round twoWhile the losers of round 1 will fade away in shame, the winners will be pitted against each others in a second round like a band of rabid hounds... pitted against... another band of rabid hounds. So it's basically phase 1 through 3 all over again. Until there's only one person standing. And that's how we play Insult Sword Fighting.
SIGN UP NOW!
Heh...be interesting to see a more organised version of this. Be hilarious if we could've had some sort of tiered tournament, but I guess it is a little difficult to judge the quality of an insult.
I hereby sign up...ya filthy mog!
Count me in.
Are we going with the same system of responding to the previous insult and then posing another one for your opponent?
CadetD registering here, Sir! Hoping to be made a Captain one day...
One rule I suggest: No swearing or bad sexual innuendo (keep it Disney).
I say, keep it Warner Brothers.
How appropriate, you fight like a cow!
I'm in!
I'll throw my hat in as well.
Ok, I'm in. You guys are making it quite easy so far.
I will sign up if each round is extended to 24 hours (from the current 10), as I don't have around the clock access to the internet. Do you really need to be insulted 2.4 times per day? ;)
Quote from: Baron on Sat 12/10/2013 05:30:32
I will sign up if each round is extended to 24 hours (from the current 10), as I don't have around the clock access to the internet. Do you really need to be insulted 2.4 times per day? ;)
Fair enough!
Quote from: Ryan Timothy on Fri 11/10/2013 22:20:52
One rule I suggest: No swearing or bad sexual innuendo (keep it Disney).
I second this. ;-D
Quote from: CaptainD on Sat 12/10/2013 18:02:44
Quote from: Ryan Timothy on Fri 11/10/2013 22:20:52
One rule I suggest: No swearing or bad sexual innuendo (keep it Disney).
I second this. ;-D
I third this. Plus, the insults should only be directed to the rival. Not his/her family, especially parents! (nod)
SIGN ME IN! ;-D
Ok, we're on!
Please check your respective thread to begin the rumbling.
Oh and you have 24 hours to respond to each other, as per Baron's request. Of course, you can respond as quickly as you want (to make it more exciting for everyone) :)
Adeel is automatically qualified for next round.
(wrong)
Spoiler
Its Ryan Timothy, not Timosity
Let the offending begin.
Can I just clarify before I respond to Babar? Do we do as we did in the other thread, write two insults: one witty retort and then a new one for our opponent to respond to?
Not necessarily - you can write as long as you want. You can ramble on forever about the various shortcomings of Babar.
Hehe, Adeel, what a very strange typo on my part!
Oh snap. I responded to Captain D then remembered that I forgot to counter insult him. That's what we're supposed to do? Right? Only because it's a competition it's making me wonder if it's stops at my response or if I send out another.
Edit: Now I've read it again (should've had an actual Monkey Island example in your top post though). "They then trade insults until the time is up, and the others will vote for the winner." So I'm going to assume that, yes, I need to insult him now.
Feel free to insult me Ryan! :-D
Oh shit. Are Captain D and I playing this wrong by assuming it's like Monkey Island? Haha. Likely.
First round over. Check out the fight threads and cast your - surely biased - vote now!
Oh great - I didn't get my last retort in. Surely this will end badly!!!
I feel your pain, Cap'n. I was 36 hours without internet.... hopefully my earlier salvos were cutting enough to clinch the round for me, but I have a feeling that "he who insults last, insults most" is likely to apply here. :-\
Baron you done a fantastic job. I was laughing the whole time! It's just fun and games at the end of the day. But in saying that, as hilarious as it all was, I think I've officially ran right out of steam on this. It's not easy trying to come up with such randomness on a daily basis hehe.
Alright, I've cast my - surely biased - votes. ;) It seems that most of the audience agrees with my opinion with the exception of Sunny Penguin's case. (nod)
Votes cast. Interested to see how the voting for my battle of twits with Ryan turns out! 8-)
I've voted as well. According to the results so far CD, you're winning (and I voted for you because I was losing creativity and pushing it too much ;)). I do think my last insult was the best one out of them all though. Too bad we didn't have time to see a retort from that. Dang.
Overall CD, it was quite fun. Thanks for insulting me. ;)
Damn you, Ryan, I'm going to vote for you and see for myself!! :P
I'm pretty interested in this Ryan Timothy - CaptainD battle. Ryan was dominating early (4-1, if memory serves), but the Cap'n has stormed back big-time! Who will win this see-saw of democracy?!? My nails are chewed up to the knuckles! And there's like two days still left in voting! Martha, where's my heart meds?!?
Quote from: Baron on Mon 21/10/2013 02:00:19
I'm pretty interested in this Ryan Timothy - CaptainD battle. Ryan was dominating early (4-1, if memory serves), but the Cap'n has stormed back big-time! Who will win this see-saw of democracy?!? My nails are chewed up to the knuckles! And there's like two days still left in voting! Martha, where's my heart meds?!?
The Canadian votes came in early. :-D :P
Quote from: Ryan Timothy on Sun 20/10/2013 20:48:32I do think my last insult was the best one out of them all though.
It was possibly the funniest insult of the round, and was the decider for me in an otherwise even contest.
Just voted, great job guys! Really funny.
Ryan and I are still neck and neck! The tension is getting unbearable...
Maybe a duel at sunset?
An insult off! They each have exactly twelve words with which to insult the other, in some sort of sudden-death overtime round to be judged undemocratically by Andail himself!
Yep, sounds like the way to do it.
Okay, time for round 2. I will announce the matches here, but I won't open the threads until later tonight. So for now you can study your antagonists and prepare to hit them where it hurts the most!
ERIC VS CAPTAIN D
MIGUEL VS ADEEL
STUPOT VS BARON
Ah nuts, I didn't want to win that way. >:(
Ryan - hope you just forgot and that there isn't a bad reason for you not turning up to insult me!!
Quote from: CaptainD on Thu 24/10/2013 12:31:49
Ryan - hope you just forgot and that there isn't a bad reason for you not turning up to insult me!!
Oh dear. I suppose I should've remembered to check out the competition forum. I missed out on one last insult. :(
And I just want to tell that I voted for myself.
Now, a pretty conundrum this does create... I feel it unethical to vote for myself, but if I vote for Eric so I can see the vote, and I lose by a single vote... :shocked:
Ah what the hell, Eric I'm going to vote for you, because it just seems like the right thing to do. :-D If I lose by a single vote, so be it. (Current stas... I'm losing by a single vote!! (roll))
bTW Eric - whoever wins or loses, my friend, that was fun. :cool:
You dont have to vote to see the result. There is a button.
Quote from: Stupot+ on Wed 30/10/2013 13:32:48
You dont have to vote to see the result. There is a button.
D'oh! I missed it! Now I shall lose by a single vote! The ignomy!! 8-0 :-D :-D
I will return the favor and even out the voting! I had a great time in our insult thread as well, though I will admit this opening salvo stung a bit:
QuoteSadly, Eric, I can't diss you games, as you never have made ones
I spent the evening working on my game after hearing that one!
Oi, numpties! How's it gonna work with only three people in the next round?
I can see three possible scenarios for the next round:
A 3-way final with three threads, where each contender fights the other two. Then adding up the total votes for from each player's two battles to determine the overall winner.
A 3-way final in one thread with each contender taking it in turns (in some pre-determined order) to insult the one before him.
A semi final, in which the highest scoring loser from this round is given a bye into the next round setting it up for a 1-on-1 final.
If this were professional wrestling, instead of insult swordfighting, there would be a surprise dark horse entrant who would run in from the back, leap off of the ropes, insult us all into submission, and steal the crown.
Quote from: miguel on Wed 30/10/2013 12:11:39
And I just want to tell that I voted for myself.
Even though I'm losing. I'm still going to vote for you, you filthy scallywag :P.
QuoteEven though I'm losing. I'm still going to vote for you, you filthy scallywag :P.
:grin::grin::grin::grin:
I voted for Stupot+. I know it's not in my interest, but I think he got the better of me. I'm really interested in this Cap'nD vs. Eric competition, since it was in my opinion very well written on both sides: thoroughly entertaining! Miguel and Adeel were well-matched as well, but I had to give it to Miguel for the breath-through-the-speakers zinger: sorry Adeel!
I'm a little confused about how there were three matches last round AND three matches this round. Shouldn't the field start to diminish at some point? I would say go to two matches next time and resurrect the next highest ranked insulter from the ladder (there is a ladder, right? ;) ), or do an unstructured three-way where you just respond to the last person whoever it was (as long as it wasn't you) -it'd just be too time consuming waiting for people to take their proper turns.
I'm in a dead heat again!!! :shocked::shocked::shocked:
Thanks Baron - I think I speak for Eric as well when I say we had a lot of fun with that round. 8-)
Yeah the final round will be 3-way free for all fight (just no double-posting).
I can confidently say that all the votes are biased. (wtf)
Vote for me, people. Vote for the freedom!
Quote from: Baron on Thu 31/10/2013 01:08:06
I voted for Stupot+.
Well, gee, shucks. I thought we were pretty close, but I've voted for you on the basis of your response to my 'infertility' accusation. I read that to my sister and we agreed it was brilliant.
I think Baron, Stupot+, CaptainD and I should start an anti-insult competition where we just say polite things about each other.
Quote from: Eric on Thu 31/10/2013 17:45:19
I think Baron, Stupot+, CaptainD and I should start an anti-insult competition where we just say polite things about each other.
I say old chap that's an absolutely smashing idea! ;-D
After this we should start a 'remarkable ass kissing competition'
Not wishing to be insulting (of course), but looking at your avatar, your face is too scary for anyone to contemplate kissing, so as for the other end... (wrong)(wrong)(wrong)(wrong)
So, I'm not allowed to say nice things about you guys...
Is it because I'm Catholic?
Miguel's moustache is twirly, his hat's a bit curly, and under his smart-looking vest he's quite burly!
Okay Miguel: your turn. And since we're being gentlemanly I want you to know that I grudgingly admire three of your last six popes. ;)
Baron rhymes with iron, the temperance of his tongue, his hat is manly pointy, but a heart in his chin tenderly is hung
Now Baron, looks like you're trying to take this thread into another religion debate!(laugh)
Let's stick to good clean insulting here! 8-0
I saw Baron and Eric have edged ahead... when are the polls closed? (Can we demand a recount? :grin:)
Congratulations, Eric! You're truly the most offensive person in this community!
But seriously, you had some wicked rhymes in there, well done :)
Congratulations Eric, you clearly outsmarted me on this fun competition. Congrats to Baron as well, well done!
I now will offer my third place to the Portuguese Nation, I'm sure they'll be proud of my insulting talents and carrying the good name of Portugal to the World.
(http://i289.photobucket.com/albums/ll225/mia-plur/VictoryDance.gif)
I would like to thank CaptainD, Miguel, and Baron for being worthy opponents in this Insulting Competition.
Unfortunately, they weren't worthy opponents, so I can't thank them for that.
Just kidding! Thank you all for the fun past few weeks of providing targets for my rhyming insults, and for hurling your own insults back in my direction. Thank you also to IceyGames, who may have beaten me in the first round if he'd remembered to show up at all.
And thanks for all who cast your votes for me! Baron and Miguel also did a fine job in the final round, and I'm glad the voting was close.
Congrats Eric! It was fun.
Well done, Eric! I voted for you because you just got it right. Well done that man!
Maybe cut back on the messed up gifs! Uncalled for...
Congratulations Eric! You are now entitled to refer to yourself as The Insult Master!
Begrudgedly, congratulations Eric.
Now, when are we starting the ultimate ass-kissing contest. I'm bound to win that, you beautiful, talented people. X