A short fiction dilemma

[Oliwerko]

Hiya,

So I wrote this short fiction (which is in Slovak for I didn't dare to write it in english at the first shot). It's about a guy, who is fed up with society and its workings, its functioning. He is tired of hiporcrisy (and he must make someone else of himself, if he wants to look "normal" with people - because he's a bit different in tastes than the majority), the monotony of social contacts and made-up polite conversations, etc. He is simply fed up with the society's principles and grows too tired of people and contact with them, being unable to blend with them like an equal member of the society.

He leaves his GF and best friends, tosses his mobile phone into a field and spends two days "on the road", it's kind of psychological story, not much actual plot. He hates leaving them with no sign of where he's gone. After these two days he decides he MUST try to get back, because it has no point to "escape". He has a dilemma, because he loved being with people and enjoyed his life all over. But now, he is tired of social contacts and misses this feeling. But social contact and this good feeling are inseparable - so he must basically decide what to do.

Now why I'm writing this here is that I can't decide between two ending options.
First option is that he can't assimilate with the society, he grew too tired of it and can't understand its twisted workings.

Second, he remains hopeful, refuses to let the society to "disassemble" his personality and believes that hipocrisy has no point and wheter people will accept him as a member of the society "as he is" or not, he cannot do anything about it. He just can be himself.

And now a third option comes to my mind, some middle way between them may be cool.
Anyway, could you please tell me what you think about it? Which option would suit the best in your opinion? Which looks real? Which has the best punchline?

Any help is much appreciated, this dilemma eats me for days now.
Thanks.

[Hudders]

Nobody noticed that he was gone.

[Ookki]

Nobody noticed that he was gone.

Funny but makes me feel bad...

Seriously, sounds like a monkey island ending.

[Moresco]

He goes and buys the same clothing as everyone else, puts on the everybody style of shades, and merges into society as a forgotten drone.  Hoorah. =/ no? That would be a little sad, and probably not reality....but that's why I like it.  >=]

[krishaw]

He goes back to his friends and GF and brings them with him to a different, nicer society.

Pretty happy huh? 

[poc301]

Him conforming to society is against the grain of his character (or so I believe from reading the synopsis).  However...  His refusing to conform is a bit cliche.. 

I really liked the idea about nobody noticing he was gone.  Some kind of twist like that gets my vote.

-Bill

[MoodyBlues]

Maybe he tries a compromise by rejoining society, but since he doesn't want to completely conform, he has few friends.  Maybe he ends up believing he was trying to get something (love) for nothing (refusing to think of others)?

I like the idea of no one realizing he was gone, too.

[Oliwerko]

Hi guys, thanks for replies!

Nobody noticed that he was gone.

Well, it's interesting, but it wouldn't really fit into the story, because one of the points is that he tries to think of what he will say to his GF, to his friends, when they will ask where he's been. There's also a scene with his GF in the beginning, where she leaves, because he kind of stops responding. Then a day later he tries to call her from a motel phone booth. She picks up, but he can't push a word from himself.

So I think although this ending is an interesting twist, it would leave the reader with no clue what the point of the story is, because it would have no "real" ending. The story would have an interesting twist in the end, but it wouldn't have a point in the "conforming or not" side of it.

He goes and buys the same clothing as everyone else, puts on the everybody style of shades, and merges into society as a forgotten drone.  Hoorah. =/ no? That would be a little sad, and probably not reality....but that's why I like it.  >=]

Hmm, that sounds like the society actually totally wins over an individual. It surely is one of the options, but I can't just see HIM really doing that.

He goes back to his friends and GF and brings them with him to a different, nicer society.

Pretty happy huh? 

Different society? Like smurfs, tom and jerry? 

Maybe he tries a compromise by rejoining society, but since he doesn't want to completely conform, he has few friends.

This sounds like the golden middle way. The catch is that he has few friends and is doing some kind of compromise already in the beginning, he's been doing that all his life. But I like the thought of the compromise.

Maybe he ends up believing he was trying to get something (love) for nothing (refusing to think of others)?

Phew, that's quite a hopeless ending  Well, he thinks of others. He tries to conform as badly as he can, but doesn't believe that extreme hipocrisy is a good way to do it (having people like you because you're not yourself = having people like someone else, not you). But the others don't think of him. The mass lives its way of life and is unforgiving for an individual like him to accept him as an equal.

The whole problem is wheter to let show the society as hostile (people not thinking of him) and him as the victim, not being able to conform, or if to steer the point of the story to a thought that he can't give up and has to try, despite not being able to conform.

[Hudders]

He gets back to society and finds out his evil twin has taken over his life.

[Lionmonkey]

1)Suddenly, he finds someone, who shares his views and they decide to travel around the world, looking for like-minded people in order to form their own secluded society in the middle of nowhere.
This could be further expanded by showing how the people are unable to completely give up pretending.

2) He grows a disgust to all of the other people, who are unable to overcome their habits and becomes a hermit, living alone with the nature.

3)He writes a book/makes a movie/etc. leaving it as his suicide notes before commiting it, hoping, that his death will attract attention to these problems of modern society and thus sacrificing himself for the good of humanity.

4)He voluntarily goes to a mental institution and in there watches how his inmates simulate the modern society and it's possible alternatives, ultimately deciding to return and, while accepting the hypocrisy in others, stays himself, because each individual has the right to choose who one wants to be.

5)A fusion of the all four:
Forms a new society, sees how the people cannot change, becomes a hermit, then is on the edge of commiting suicide, but saved and sent to a mental institution, where observes his inmates and decides to stay who he is, but let everyone else do what hey do.

[Oliwerko]

Okay, I think I may (finally) have the final ending.

I decided to go the middle way. Something that MoodyBlues with Lionmonkey mentioned. He refuses to completely conform, he decides to accept the society as it is and stay himself. Maybe he will have few friends, maybe the majority of people he meets won't accept or understand him etc. But anyway, he stays himself and wheter people will accept him or not - he can't do anything more than be himself.

The ending thought is that the society is totally monotone in its principals and workings - and people too intolerant to accept someone different and there's no space for an individual like him in the society.

Thanks for help guys, you really made me a happier person, having decided what to do with the story, thanks again.

P.S. I may as well translate it someday, it's only 27 pages, you know