A swingin' jazz piece

[matthewmcmurry]

Hey, first post.

Anyway, I don't get much critique on my work other than the general 'Good!' from friends/family, and never a 'It's good but you could have...' if you see what I mean, so I figured this would be a nice place to post it to get some good honest critiques. To the piece, it was an idea I had for a while and then made this concept in Guitar Pro (so it's not a real recording, just a computer generated. It sounds kind of close though) just to hear it outside of my head. So yeah, the link:


CLICK ME

[Anian]

Hmm, so "good" is not what you want,   well in my very unprofessional opinion, here are the things that bother me:

That cymball is just overly pronounced, maybe mix it in differently or try using brushes (if it's a Reason composition or some other software)...but in general it feels like the drums are too pronounced, try mixing it so they don't overpower the rest of the instruments, and maybe even change that tom drum to a soft snare.
And the part around 0:28, sounds wierd to me, like the beat is off or something.

As are drums too "loud", the bass in the first part is too quiet, later it's ok, but in the first part it's just faint and since it connects the melody to the beat, in the first I can basically only hear the drums, everything else is hard to detect.

In general - the tune doesn't sound very original (that might be a personal opinion though, a lot of jazz and blues sounds very similar to me) or complicated, but it's a nice tune. I imagine this as a background for entering a fancy art deco decorated restaurant.  

Hope that helps in some way.

[matthewmcmurry]

Thanks for the input!

Unfortunately Guitar Pro has no ability to use brushes (much to my dismay when I began laying down the drums for the first time) and only has one snare tone (and generally just one drumset). Also, yes, the part at 0:28 is weird. It didn't occur to me on the first few listens, but after I listened closely to the drums they were most certainly doing something odd.

And yes, it does help. Thanks 

[evenwolf]

I'm going to support what anian said, but I'm going to rephrase it.


This could be a really great gem.  But yes the percussion is slightly distracting.   I think if it were slightly more organic feeling, it would make all the difference in the world.   It feels a bit mechanical, a bit too symmetric, and pronounced as previously stated.

I'm not going to make suggestions how to change it, just go for organic.  Go for loose.  The tone of the melody and the atmosphere were otherwise perfect.

[matthewmcmurry]

I'm going to support what anian said, but I'm going to rephrase it.


This could be a really great gem.  But yes the percussion is slightly distracting.   I think if it were slightly more organic feeling, it would make all the difference in the world.   It feels a bit mechanical, a bit too symmetric, and pronounced as previously stated.

I'm not going to make suggestions how to change it, just go for organic.  Go for loose.  The tone of the melody and the atmosphere were otherwise perfect.

I agree 100%. However, I can't really achieve an organic feeling from computers, which is why I really need to put a band together and record this. 

[evenwolf]

I've never used that program.   In Reason you can vary up every note and make the slightest changes, pressure etc so that each beat feels a little unique and less synthy.

[Nikolas]

I agree 100%. However, I can't really achieve an organic feeling from computers, which is why I really need to put a band together and record this. 

The problem is how you input notes and what insturments you have in your computer.

Even if you put a band together you'll still record everything on a computer (so the computer is NOT the problem).

Here are some suggestions:

1. Alter the tempo radically. Even if you have loops, play with the tempo A LOT.
2. Don't quantize anything. If you input notes with the mouse and keyboard, move them around so that they do NOT hit right on the beat.
3. Change the velocity of the drums and create fancy new loops. It's not like a drummer, but the hi-hat is the same again and again which creates the very static feeling.
4. Put the bass up (I think). I'm listening through the laptop and not through my studio monitors, but it still sounds very very weak at the moment.

Still it's a great little swinging piece! I usually do not work much after posting works (since I consider them 'finished', unless there's something seriously wrong with them), so perhaps you can channel your energy to a new work, instead of working on this one? By applying what you learned in here (and elsewhere?).

Thanks for sharing your music.