Basic Story Outline,

Started by Tentacles, Fri 13/04/2012 14:21:05

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Tentacles

I'm still working out the kinks a little bit, but instead of giving all the plot details about my story, I'll word it as sort of a summary:

The law states that for everyone skill, there must be an equal but opposite skill. This maintains balance and prevent one side from beating the other, keeping the battle in stalemate. De Facto Peace. However the law also states that to be a suitable antangonist, you must have a force thats at least double the main heroes side. If one law is true, then the other must be false. You can't have contradictory laws in the legal system, because one cancels out the other.

Unless of coarse, there are two legal systems. One for those that live below the plate, and one that serves the ones that live above the plate. But there wouldnt be this instability below the plate, unless they were being financed by those below the plate. A large portion of the story takes place below the plate, where the young bloods are the primary victims of a proxy group thats being helped through more organized crime like the mafia.

I'm just wondering, is my story being run on bad logic. Other than of coarse I know de jure that there arent actually two legal systems, its more de facto two legal systems. I mean I know sometimes there are strange laws.

Andail

Hi Tentacles, this sounds like a fascinating idea. However, I think you should describe the plot a bit more and introduce us to the elements and concepts of your game.
It's hard to understand this conundrum without being even remotely familiar with the story.

Tentacles


Well the original version  of the story went a bit like this: A group of rogue cyborgs break out of a military facility, take them hostage, and said that they would leave them alone, if they let them live somewhere else. Of coarse the military wouldn't let this happen, so Richard the chief scientist who once rebelled against the government helps them steal a few ships.

Eventually in order to find a suitable world, they traveled different star systems, and eventually found a planet. However it was not like Earth. But it was the most Earth like planet thus far. It had a day temperature of 150, a night temperature of -50 depending on which side of the world your on.

After the terraforming years, the second generation was never taught about their past. And the whole issue didn't come up, until the original Earth humans invaded Earth II. This sparked a series of human cyborg wars that ended with the cyborgs losing, and the few that survived migrated underground to survive the radiation.

Thats the original version. But slowly the story evolved to where I went, "And what before, and what about before that."

So I made the setting on Earth a bit like this: After world war III, the Earth man had to live in glass domes to protect themselves from the radiation outside. This world is separated by a metal plate that keeps those who live in the trash dump, is the coal powered trash dump. Its this slave class that keeps the upper city running on their electricity.

The world above is almost like a different universe, because the laws there are almost the total opposite. The world above is a bit like the US with constitutional law. The world below has Anti-constitutional law, or Nightmare Earth.

The world below has lately been experiencing some instability, because of a proxy gang who have declared war on their lively hood. But this creates the issue, that the mere presence of this gang contradicts this law of equal force. But then this conflict wouldn't happen, if they weren't financed by an agency above.

Then after the gang wars have started, the Neo American government engages in an ethnic cleansing of both gangs. It turns out that the government has created the instability so that its easier for them to invade. Their aim of coarse to unite both worlds into one political system. Neo Tokyo, Neo China, Neo Russia, and Neo Germany have already fallen victim to this. Neo Lower America is the only free country left in the world.

The main story begins in the middle of the ethnic cleansing post WWIII. Richard must save Malcolm from bleeding to death after giving him first aid. However the hospital is blown up, and destroying much of that part of the city. So Richard and Malcolm barely surviving must find an underground, or black market doctor.

I think I'm making the backstory more complicated then I need to. Its just a point and click survival horror post EarthII wars.

Snarky

All that stuff isn't your story. This is your story:

Quote from: Tentacles on Fri 13/04/2012 16:20:20
Richard must save Malcolm from bleeding to death after giving him first aid. However the hospital is blown up, and destroying much of that part of the city. So Richard and Malcolm barely surviving must find an underground, or black market doctor.

Worry less about all the stuff that happens outside of your game, and more about the stuff that will happen in it. What are the specific challenges faced by the main character, how will he overcome them, and what effect will those events have on him?

Anian

#4
The main problem, besides spelling  :P , is that what you actually wrote up is a setting with some motivations perhaps, not so much a plot. What you wrote is something that should be your guide in the atmosphere and the visuals, maybe some texts that are found or dialogs in the game. The plot you actually written is:
Quote from: Tentacles on Fri 13/04/2012 16:20:20The main story begins in the middle of the ethnic cleansing post WWIII. Richard must save Malcolm from bleeding to death after giving him first aid. However the hospital is blown up, and destroying much of that part of the city. So Richard and Malcolm barely surviving must find an underground, or black market doctor.
In which only once before mentioned Richard (and that one time is like a one liner backstory), saves Malcolm (we don't know who he is btw). Does this thing have anything to do with previously mentioned cyborgs and terraforming?
Try not to name everything with "neo" in front of it. Even cyberpunk threw that out in the 90s.

Ok, so from what I gathered, gang violence is supported by the government and now they're a getting rid of them. In this chaos and extermination ex military scientist and researcher Richard (who I guess is hiding from the army in the underground after an incident in helping some cyborgs escape) tries to get Malcolm (again, you didn't say who he is, random person or a friend or brother etc.) to a doctor in the underground. This is your intro/prologue.


Now that's may be a start, but what did you think might happen next?

Let's say Richard finds a doctor and then has to find some parts/medicine that might help Malcolm - great, now you have motivation. Then he has to go back to the military base he used to work in to the get the them, again great, now you have a goal. He'll need some help, like a professional thief or hacker - for which he needs to contact one of the gangs that's being exterminated - awesome subplot where he finds out about the government conspiracy that you wrote about.
Want it longer? He gets captured and gets taken to prison, escapes with another prisoner, who turns out to be a spy for the government...
In the end he manages to get the medicine, solves the conspiracy by uniting the rival gangs and it's a beginning of a brave new world.
This is something of a plot...as far as a 5 minute writing can provide from me.  ;D

You need to systematically plan your plot out but be careful to keep it in line with what kind of gameplay you want.

EDIT: damn it Snarky, I was writing.  :P  ;D
I don't want the world, I just want your half

Tentacles

#5
Directly in game:

The goal is - Silhouette Man must survive long enough to reach the next town. However he is hindered by an injured leg, and wild weather patterns that hinder his progress. You must take shelter, or you will burn, or freeze. When the temperature is neutralized, you must either find a weapon from the ground, or hide from the mutated animals, and humans.

As of now, its planned that you can't kill a specific type of enemy. Its because of their evolution, I'll go into that later. Some enemies you don't even know if they are real, or just a realistic dream.

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