Bloodlusty comic

FSi++ · Sat 14/10/2006 20:24:16

This week I got bored and made a short comic... Or not comic, actually it's not very funny nor humorous. Oh, whatever, here it is:
Preview

Full one
http://www.ljplus.ru/img/f/s/fsi/comic_02.jpg

Suggestions, comments, critics are welcome.

Spoiler

p.s.
Oh yeah, and you may suggest a name for a (hopefully) series there:
http://fsi.livejournal.com/58460.html
The best one will be given with, uh, exclusive painting from myself (as a postcard). Don't be afraid of lotsa russian speech, it's international.

[close]

ManicMatt · Sun 15/10/2006 17:23:48

Ha what a crazy man! But I don't get the punchline.

Why is the first speech bubble not fully coloured in? Why does the mans eyes no longer have white in them in the fourth frame? Since when was "Surprise" two seperate words? (Mister whoops-I'm-gonna-run-out-of-room

)

FSi++ · Sun 15/10/2006 17:28:43

Okay, answers:
Q. Why is the first speech bubble not fully coloured in?
A. Kind of "style"
Q. Why does the mans eyes no longer have white in them in the fourth frame?
A. Forgot to colour them.
Q. Since when was "Surprise" two seperate words?
Was short on space at the time.

Simply put.
--FSi

Neil Dnuma · Sun 15/10/2006 23:23:03

I think it's pretty good! The style choices are good for this genre - the colors used and hm... "un-perfect" lineart. You might want to clean up the text bits though (and a little spelling). The visual information of each panel seems quite well thought out, I esp. like the eyes, mouth and flesh of panel 4. I also like not showing his face at the end. To challenge yourself more, you could try leaving out some of the textual explanations (I only have this... I have to do this...) and tell the same things more visually.

2ma2 · Wed 18/10/2006 15:23:33

It is rather chaotic and hard on the eyes. You could still go for the surreal approach without abusing the color palette. The whole piece needs some tidying to do.

Helm · Wed 18/10/2006 17:35:32

The general idea of this comic is good, I can see it being done well. The execution suffers. First of all, I'd suggest breaking out paper and pencil and colors and stuff. Not mspaint. Then work with it in a proper layout, a4 three strips, three or two panels per strip. SHOW much more than SAY what's going on.

milkanannan · Sun 22/10/2006 00:16:15

bloodlust rules!

cReative · Mon 23/10/2006 05:45:10

Its funny in a way... and creative... but...