Brand new phantasy komaks! (update 5/1)

Andail · Sat 03/01/2004 21:17:11

It was long since I published anything here, but recently I started drawing a sci-fi comics, so I thought I could display the first two pages here.
The plot is already written, so I expect to keep a pretty good pace. So watch out for updates!

http://www.esseb.com/andail/alindrapng1.png
http://www.esseb.com/andail/alindra2.png

Added 5/1:
http://www.esseb.com/andail/alindra3.png

Please give feedback!

Archangel (aka SoupDragon) · Sat 03/01/2004 21:22:05

Looking good ^,^ I'll look forward to updates to this. (if I was gonna be picky I'd say that an experienced fighter would call them "rounds" not "bullets", but hey it's your universe not mine

)

Domino · Sun 04/01/2004 03:00:03

Very Nice!! They look great Andail.

Shawn

FruitTree · Sun 04/01/2004 12:04:00

very good indeed,
I like the fact that it's sci-fi but doesn't feel like it.
my only comment though, is that it's pretty hard find out in what direction to read (only on the first page)
because of the text balloons.

aside from that it's great!

keep creating!!!

InCreator · Sun 04/01/2004 17:16:27

Smugglers City? Reminds me Dune...
Nice artwork!

Andail · Sun 04/01/2004 17:47:58

Thanks for your response.

Arch; you're probably right...I think I wanted to emphasis that ammunition is extremely rare, and "rounds" has this colloquial sound to it...but English isn't my native language, so I don't know really.

InCreator, yeah that's pretty likely, since I'm a huge Dune-fan. Then again; the plot or the setting as a whole is nothing like Dune whatsoever.

I'll be back with more Alindra shortly

Minimi · Sun 04/01/2004 21:37:47

Very cool and professional! I'd buy your comic book!!

I'm very curious about Smugglers City. Good atmosphere. Jut one thing... on the final picture, there is a grave, with a cross... wich is abit a cliche... but hey... that's just my opinion

Andail · Tue 06/01/2004 14:17:04

Ok, did an update....I guess this is my best page so far.

Since I will only edit my first post from now on, there's a big risk this thread disappears rather soon (as I'd hate to bump it, and I suppose nobody else will either...) so I guess I'll publish the comics on my homepage so you can watch it there.

loominous · Tue 06/01/2004 17:21:32

I m not very fond of comics. Add postapocalyptic futurism and I m very likely to be sickened by it.

For some nonapperant reason I really liked this style though; could be the drawing style, writing style or perhaps the conjunction.

Anyway, what I missed in the drawings were contrasts. At the moment they re pretty flat and made with a sort of even grey tone. To give them more depth and make them more interesting, I d focus on giving them darker greys and whiter whites.

The second thing is the textstyle. I m not very fond of the current font, though this is probably just me. What I think many would agree with though is the textplacement in the bubbles. First of all, they re often offset, which I m assuming you ve noticed though perhaps didn t bother fixing. More importantly, there isn t much space between the text and the bubble edge, something that I think makes it looked very cramped and gives me an amateurish impression.

I made some modifications on a single square, first version with pitchdark/inkstyle that ofcourse doesn t fit the pencil look well (dont know how to simulate pencil on a computer), the second a blend between the inkversion and the original giving less but still noticable inkish impression.

I ve also altered the font, the first version using a Garamond font that may not fit the style but is pleasant to read, and the second version using the same font as the original but with larger margin.

Now an essay later, here s the link:

Some modifications (115 kb)

Looking forward to seeing more.

plasticman · Tue 06/01/2004 20:45:34

my first impression is that the style is enjoyable.
i think i could read 40 pages like these and not get bored, and that's the most important thing after all.

i don't have much to say about the drawings themselves. i like pure b&w ink comics better, but you're doing alright imo. the pov's are well varied.
only crit is that the pencil strokes are too visible in certain filled areas.

now for what bothers me the most :
first, i agree with what loominous said about the font and the placement of the text in the balloons.
i suggest that you use a font expressly made for comics, they're not too hard to find (try www.blambot.com for instance).
or better yet, find yourself a good, sharp ink pen and write the dialogs by hand. that's what i do.

also, i strongly suggest that you draw the panel frames and balloons by hand. the 1 pixel-wide, perfectly straight lines are really really not appropriate imo, and the balloons are a little too generic for my tastes.

otherwise, i think you're on the right track. good luck with this project.

Andail · Tue 06/01/2004 23:20:26

Thanks Loominous and Plasticman for your excellent criticism....you give brilliant advice, and I can do nothing but change the comics in the direction you pointed out.

The texting seems to be my weakest point...I guess this is why professional comics have special people working with just the texting. As for the contrast issue, it's mainly a question of time; I could improve each and every fram by adding shadows and highlights, but now I have a pretty good pace going and I wish to keep it. I agree it does look pretty grey; I'll see what I can do to liven it up a bit.

I'm also curious if you have done comics yourselves....could you show them some day in that case?

Squinky · Tue 06/01/2004 23:37:43

Hey, I always like your stuff, so I just thought I'd let you know again...that I like your stuff...

As far as webcomics go this is a decent one. It seesm that web comics are either good or complete crap, and this stuff is good...and not crap...

Good job on the not-crap-making...

Esseb · Wed 07/01/2004 01:19:57

I wouldn't call it a webcomic though. It's a comic which happens to be on the Internet so us AGSers can read it. But I agree it looks promising so far.

plasticman · Sun 11/01/2004 22:23:46

you're welcome.
don't worry too much about the lettering, it's one of the easy parts to assimilate imo, since it doesn't require "artistic skills" as much as the rest.

i've done some comic works for an art class project, but no full-length book like you're doing. i contemplate making one, but first i have to practice more, and of course i need a solid script before starting.
i have some boards in my room, but they're all A3-sized and i can't use the scanner without folding them.

Hueij · Sun 11/01/2004 23:05:05

Quote...but they're all A3-sized and i can't use the scanner without folding them.

Cut them in half, draw the top half of your page on one half and the bottom on the other, scan them and put them together in your graphics program. That's how I used to do it.

plasticman · Sun 11/01/2004 23:35:59

thanks for the tip, but the way the panels are laid down, it's impossible to divide the page without cutting through them...
i just need a scanner in an open area, then i can scan each board in two parts without having to cut it. i'll do it when i have access to one at college.