Atmospherical song for crits

[Oliwerko]

Hi again.

This time I wanted to do something different than I did before, and so I did. I am quite satisfied with the result although there surely are shortcomings. I would like you to point out these.

I will be happy for any positive or negative feedback whatsoever; every comment is helpful.

http://oliwerko.ic.cz/Today.mp3

Thx!

[tzachs]

Sounds quite nice, and indeed atmospherical 
I really liked the percussions...
It got to be a bit repetitive for me as it went on, if that's not supposed to be a standalone song then it wasn't too bad, but if it is, then some more variety is needed, I think...
Changing the instruments a few times within the song will make a big difference for me, I believe.
Also I was not too sure that I liked the talking parts, but I can appreciate it's a matter of personal taste.

[Oliwerko]

First of all, thanks for feedback!

Second, repetitiveness is often what troubles my tracks. Once I get it all up and running, I cannot seem to free myself and change things around. I'm battling this habit hard. But yes, this had to be a standalone song.

The talking parts were a bit of an experiment with a text to speech tool. I was fascinated when I tried the first line and saw how well it fit. Then I made the other ones and decided to keep them there. But it's definitely a matter of taste. Several previous songs were without a word, so I felt it like a nice refreshment 

[Calin Leafshade]

Ok a few problems I can see with the track.

Firstly it's very dated. This is mainly due to those FM synth sounds and the drum beat you have going on.

The synth lead and the pads are especially a problem here

Secondly I was *dying* for it to really *kick in*

for reference check out this track: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_S8J07lhw4o

See (hear) how it builds and builds until it really kicks off at about 3 minutes?
I think thats what you track needs.

To shift that dated feel I'd recommend using real drum samples and a real bass guitar (or samples of one)

with regards to the repitition:

Pop songs (songs that arent classical) do not need to change in melody they only need to change in feel.
The song i referenced above is pretty much the same all the way through but it adapts by using different variations of the same thing.

for example look at this track: http://www.thethoughtradar.com/oldsite/comets/SOS%20Mastered.mp3

It's the same all the way through really in terms of melody but the dynamics of the song change.

hope that helps somehow.