C&C I am out of practise...UPDATED!!11!1!

[KANDYMAN-IAC]

just an odd sword fighter i doodled up... i think the perspective is flawed. And this is the first piece of art I've done, and colour in a loooooooooooooooooooonnnnnggggg time.

please pick it to bits... its the only way i'll learn...




oooopppssss.... ummmm yeah i spose posting the image does help huh??

[KANDYMAN-IAC]

Ok I looked at again myself and thought i should fix the neck....


oh i also resized it... i think it works better at a smaller resolution.... i think its kinda pretty....

(my girlfriend thinks i based it off of my own skinny "frame", nice compliment i thought )
The original is on the LEFT.



ok... moved the head over to the left, evening the shoulders out more... also moved the stomach definition to the left as well making the character more balanced.

additional... made the goatee more defined, and changed the shadow slightly on the back arm... and darkened one of the eyebrows...

[Barcik]

His right shoulder is too wide. It looks as if his head is not in the middle of his body but somewhere on the left side.

[shbaz]

The face is out of perspective relative to the way the body is facing.. it should take up less area on the horizontal axis. Also, toons usually don't have transparent hair like that, it looks better if you just made it opaque, IMO.

Why is the chin jagged? It looks as if his chin has more mass on the left side (viewer's perspective) than on the right. Even if you don't change the shape of the chin, there should be some shading on that side of his neck to emphasize the jawline, at least I would guess that based on your shadows on the rest of the body.

[KANDYMAN-IAC]

the chin is jagged cos he has a goatee.... i don't understand the reference to the face... could you show me??

edit.....

also i kinda like the transparent hair... its used quite a bit in disney feature length stuff... i think it adds to it...

[shbaz]

As I said, the transparent hair was just my opinion, I've seen it too, just less than I've seen other styles.

I'm sorry, I was looking at the first image, the goatee looks fine in your redraw.

I don't do 2d very well, so here is a perspective shot of a 3d model I have done that is fairly close to realistic proportions:


I was wrong about what the problem was.. from comparing this to your image I think that you need to sink the eyes into the face some more, you can see on the right of my image that the face has a clear curve where the eye socket is. The cheeks should stand out more (I know my model is a girl, but men have cheeks that stick out just as far as women, they just aren't as rounded) and make the nose more jutting. The nose looks very flat right now. You can also see where the jawline should be shaded. Another thing I notice is that the collarbones you drew seem like they are too far apart, they should appear roughly above the pecks.

I may be crossing the lines of style here, because your image is very stylistic in nature, and if that's the case, just disregard.

[KANDYMAN-IAC]

That would be in the case of a european face, but doesnt the broadness and flatness of the character make him appear more asian?? slightly mongolian?? Like ghengis kahn.... i think

[KANDYMAN-IAC]

no more criticisms??

[Joelman]

darken his hair a bit to make him look more asian, also maybe squish his head down a bit.

[YOke]

Maybe the lines on his boots play some trick with my eyes, but I think the right foot seems somewhat twisted outwards from the knee down. Maybe it's a bit longer than the left foot aswell...?

[shbaz]

Even if it's an Oriental face, I'd still make the nose a bit bigger. Like I said though, it's not required, it's your style. A lot of things in this image could be regarded as mistakes or stylistic modifications.

I didn't regard it as an asian initially because of the skin tone and body proportions. Asian men tend to not have such long faces.