Criticism & comments for a beginner

[jtulisalo]

Just 3 weeks ago bumped into AGS and decided to try messing around. Now, after 2 weeks of more or less intense drawing / coding I've come up with a little "demo", merely to testify how cool a program AGS really is! Especially as I am very unexperienced in scripting at the moment. I'm really looking forward to creating a real game! Anyhow, if you're interested, the "game" can be downloaded here:

http://go.to/toivola/music/Compiled.zip

Here are some screenshots:

http://go.to/toivola/music/scrnshot.jpg

http://go.to/toivola/music/scrnshot2.jpg

Comments are welcome!

- Jussi

PS. the link is now correct

[Pet Terry]

Hey, those screenies look really good, I'll download your demo soon (I hope) and tell you what I think of it.

[shbaz]

Wow, your style is very nice on the eyes! How long did those take?

I can't really even criticize, there isn't anything wrong with it in a cartoony style like that.

[jtulisalo]

Wow, your style is very nice on the eyes! How long did those take?

Background took about 6 hours, but it isn't exact, since I've made numerous changes.. I used Wacom tablet & Painter Classic. I think I'll have to remove the black outlines from the pic. Animations have taken by far the longest time! And scripting too.. trying to figure how to get a bird fly outside the window and have the cat react to that for example. Luckily there's always a way! GUI took some time too.

- Jussi

[Chicky]

hey jusa,

i played the demo and all i can say is WOW! really that is one of the most professional demo game's i have played in a long time.

i really liked everything about it apart from ... dum dum dum. The left/right walking animation. i think theres a frame missing or summit. But i would suggest you post it in the critic's lounge.

anyway
great work

keep it up -nath

[jtulisalo]

Yes, the animations are mainly just 4 frames / direction. I'll add some between-frames in both jacket & hat and regular views. Damn, even two suits is a LOT of work!! Sincere thanks for the encouraging comments you all!

-Jussi

[TheYak]

Your enthusiasm is contagious. Very refreshing.  

I am digging the painted chars on painted background style.  The overall look is very good and the whole thing's very useful as-is.  

Now, I'll nit-pick (and I'm being very picky here, just for the sake of constructive crit):

1) Ceiling - something about the stucco-like texture makes it appear semi 2-dimensional.  It almost looks like a 2D layer hidden behind the rest of the pic.  Perhaps a more neutral tone would help.  If you make the texture smaller as it recedes, it'll decrease the 2D-look.  The simplest fix is just to increase the contrast of the shadows you've already got.  The shadows will serve to "anchor" the ceiling into the pic.

2) Bed - Blanket - The bed looks nice and well-rumpled. Assuming the character isn't anal-retentive enough to worry about making it all the time.  Currently, the depth of shading and direction of the bumps make it look a bit curtain-ish.  You could try more horizontal & diagonal folds & bumps for a more generally rumpled look. With the contrast between the shadows and highlights, it almost looks like the blanket's covering a person or semi-cylindrical solid object. It's well done but perhaps a little too strongly. It's not as evident in the night-pic.

3) Table/Stool - Merely my preference but I'd perfer a bit more outlining of the bottoms of these. Currently, I can almost imagine they're melting into (or forming from) the floor in some spots.  The texture in the table (assuming stonework under glass?) is a bit too precise to match the rest of the drawing.  Maybe some more fading or ambiguity to it?  If it got smaller further back, it'd help blend it into the table's perspective as well.
The table, stool, and a couple other things are a bit off perspective-wise but I wouldn't want you to change a thing.  I like the style this way.

4) Miscellaneous - The coatrack's shadow seems out of place.  Since the light's not on and the major light-source would seem to be from the window, it ought to project towards the viewer more.  The reflection of the wallpaper's texture is well done but the way it evenly continues onto the table and bypasses the reflection of the table with the cat is a bit distracting.  Of course, I wouldn't notice if I were playing a game instead of staring at its backgrounds.

Hope you don't take offense at the above.  It's all just my opinion and you've got a lot more talent than I can boast of.  I got lengthy because of my enthusiasm for the pics.  Thanks for sharing (and reminding me to mess with Painter some more).