Critique my Song - New song 14/6 omg

Andail · Sat 09/06/2007 12:20:07

To celebrate that my thesis is done, I recorded a song yesterday.

As per usual, I have no freaking clue what I'm doing when it comes to mixing, or when it comes to what style I want to achieve. So in case you don't mind what style of music you listen to, this might suit you.

Upon his Throne

Lyrics, arrangement and vocals all done by me.

maaark · Sat 09/06/2007 12:52:24

I like it... it's very clean... what do you use to record?

I guess some of the sounds could blend in better (with a little compression), but I kinda like it this way. It's very very clean and also sounds a little silly in a good way.

It's very nice. Catchy, silly, etc.

Bohnito · Sat 09/06/2007 13:00:58

Ok at first i have to say i like it, some parts remind me of 'cake'...i like cake.
Good recording. is it homemade?
Do you have another tracks, yet? Im intrested

And: i think it has the perfect melody to sing it when youre drunk

Tuomas · Sat 09/06/2007 13:13:59

Quote from: Andail on Sat 09/06/2007 12:20:07
As per usual, I have no freaking clue what I'm doing when it comes to mixing, or when it comes to what style I want to achieve.

I hear ya!

However, the song is really laid back and pleasant to ones ear. I like it. Didn't get a chance to consentrate on the lyrics yet since I'm in a bit of a hurry, but I think with better mixing this could sound brilliant. However, not hit material, so I doubt you'll make millions and millions. Oh, and btw, you couldn't sound more swedish in this

Inkoddi · Sat 09/06/2007 13:17:07

I noticed evil clipping all over the place, mainly the bass in the right channel.
I suggest lowering the volume of the bass in the right channel until it's the same as it is in the left one (I like having bass in the middle) and also lowering the overall volume of the song, thus making it more balanced and getting rid of clipping.

Peder 🚀 · Sat 09/06/2007 23:49:20

Damn, this is really nice!

Is it programmed drums? or electrical drums?
Anyway, I think if you got someone somehow to record real drums it would bring the song up ALOT.
Even though it is really good the way it is!

Ive been listening it a while now and I cant really say anything else than whats been said allready..
Oh, and I would really like to try and record some drums

.

Edit:
Umm.. Did I just hear a womans moan then? :-/ (01:15)

Nikolas · Tue 12/06/2007 06:55:59

Oh Andail. Started posting, kids called, deleted the post to come back and never came.

sorry mate.

I really like your melodies a lot! Your chord progression and everything! your style in general. Everything I've heard from you is great (both tracks

)

In this case:

Lyrics are lovely, nothing to say and not my area.

Music:

Chords, orchestration, playing (which was a problem last time) work just fine.

What doesn't work is the mixing I'm afraid...

Here is a list as the song goes into my ears:

1. (most important actually). The reverb in the drums and the lack of reverb in everything else. Reverb apart from adding a tail, also has the ability to throw towards the back everything. So at the moment, the drums sound like they are in the toilet or something, while the rest of the orchestra is in front of your face. Less reverb on the drums, more on voices, guitars, basses, and the lovely trumpet sound!

2. The trumpet could go a bit louder

3. And drums are heavily missing the crash cymbal. You go on a ride, on a break (in the very begining for example), and then... nothing. Add some cymbals and made them a bit louder...

4. Nothing else.

If you have a version without the reverb in the drums, and can give me the tracks 1 by 1 (2 guitars, 1 drumset, 1 bass, 2 voices and the trumpet!), I could try to mix it if you want... Let me know, or PM me, or something.

The song, as the madrigal before, is really catchy at least for me! And you got tons better at playing which is great! Just hope you want to get better at mixing as well

Evil · Tue 12/06/2007 07:40:23

I tried following the lyrics, but the rhythm is bad on some lines and I can't hear the words. Perhaps listing the lyrics to reference?

Tone is well done. Mixing is alright.

Balance of the levels is off. Guitars are too loud and sometimes clip. Trumpet is nice, though quiet. But for digital, the instruments aren't awful, nor is the mixing to mask some of that digitally tone.

Vocals could use some help. Seems like this might not be your key. Voice is stretching and you can hear it. A trick you might want to try is record the vocals, then record them again listening to the first set and adjust your pitch accordingly. Then lose the first track, and retrack over the second, and so on. Eventually you can make small changes easily.

Nacho · Tue 12/06/2007 07:46:31

I can't play OGGs :/ Can someone convert it to mp3 or something please? I allways loved Petter' s songs.

Nikolas · Tue 12/06/2007 08:04:25

Download winamp already !

Evil: I actually liked his voice as such

Probably personal taste, but... hey! why not?

radiowaves · Tue 12/06/2007 12:24:06

Hmm, the melody is good, nice song. However, mastering needs work. Low and high sounds are too far apart, drums too sharp and a bit far away while bass guitar is too close. Do you have every instrument separately recorded or is the whole thing recorded together? I suggest you to put separate EQ for everyhting, especially bass.

Andail · Tue 12/06/2007 12:40:29

Thanks a lot for all your advice!
Slightly new version. Re-recorded vocals, and re-mixed the whole thing again.

http://www.andail.com/throne4.ogg

Nacho, yeah try to obtain Winamp. We're all happier if we can avoid mp3

Pling! · Tue 12/06/2007 14:27:50

This is a really nice melody! The style reminds me very much of "Village Green" by the kinks, what is one of the greatest compliments I could pay a song.

I don't have much to critique, because generally the digital instruments don't bother me. It is only the drums, that could do with a more percussion-like sound. And sometimes a little less syllables than"...never used to cry" or "...sleeps upon a throne" would maybe sound better, but that's only personal taste.

You could also change the background voice melody in parts in order to achieve the sound of a duet or a choire (I can't think of the word I have in mind in English, sorry).

I would love to listen to more songs of this kind.

Andail · Tue 12/06/2007 14:36:59

Quote from: Meat on Tue 12/06/2007 14:27:50
This is a really nice melody! The style reminds me very much of "Village Green" by the kinks, what is one of the greatest compliments I could pay a song.

Dude, that compliment gave me goosebumps

I love that album more than words can describe!

The abundance of syllables is very intentional, as I thought it could be a neat effect. I guess I won't change it at this stage, but I get the point.

About the drums; well as people have suggested they are digital keyboard drums, so for me to get something even vaguely acceptable is a huge feat. I could add a cymbal or something more "crashing" I guess.

Jens · Tue 12/06/2007 15:12:47

just listening to it the 4th time. great melody, great overall atmosphere and a very pleasant voice. *click* 5th time

vertigoaddict · Tue 12/06/2007 15:47:46

It IS the kind of song which you tend to repeat for a while and it gave me the giggles! (who says that?! 'it gave me the giggles' that's soo lame!)

I never thought your voice to be like that though, I always thought you would sound more like creed...it's probably because of your avatar.

Oz · Tue 12/06/2007 17:56:59

I love this. Of course it's rough, but that's what I like about it. Great emotion and feel.

What might work is throwing a break, or a bridge or something in there. There is no real chorus, and queuing up the verses like that works, but just a few measures of something different (a slightly different chord pattern, etc.) would further strengthen the verses and enrich the whole tune.

For the vocals, I think you need to work on your intonation a little, but overall this is a nice achievement.

Good job!

Gregjazz · Tue 12/06/2007 22:04:37

Coming along! Great work, Andail.

My only concern is the mixing itself, isn't too focused. That's the downside of using panning, instead of thinking about sound layers.

Love the mouse clicks at the end!

Evil · Wed 13/06/2007 06:24:15

I think it sounds a lot better than the last. Feels smoother to me. I'd try to be more specific, but the vocals are still bugging me. There are parts that are rushed and some that last to long. I tried to keep the pauses, but make it drastic.

Eh?

Gregjazz · Wed 13/06/2007 07:09:27

I think the vocal spacing will work... it's more of a vocal breathing technique issue. Honestly, Andail's sounded fine to me. There were a few of the faster parts in the lyrics which could be given more definition, but that's more about practicing it further.