New background -- laundromat crime scene

[frission]

You guys helped out a ton with my last background and so I thought I'd post my next one too to get comments, suggestions, etc. This one took much less time than the first one and I'm much happier with the first draft of it than I was the last one, so I think I'm getting more of the hang of things. The cars were the hardest bits (I'm planning to use them in many other scenes as well, so it was worth the investment); the rest was pretty straightforward.

The setting is once again 1957, Los Angeles. You're a homicide detective working the night shift. A call goes out on the radio -- possible homicide at a laundromat. You go to the scene.

It's an outdoor scene. There will eventually be a beat cop there as well (hence the squad car) but I haven't made the character yet. The protagonists' car is on the right (it's supposed to look a bit wimpy--it's a "get you from here to there" sort of car) and the protagonist is just there to give it a sense of scale (and to showcase how non-Indiana Jones-like he is -- this ain't your average adventure game!).





The other establishments are closed at the moment though you'll be able to come back the next day to talk with people there. (The one on the right, the Neutron Bar, is a set up for my all-time favorite gag: "Neutron Bar happy hour special -- second drink, no charge! Get it? Get it? Neutrons -- no charge!" There used to be a Neutron Bakery in a town I lived in for many years and I always thought that would be a great pitch). The place on the left is just a seedy pawn shop; the bar on the right is meant to be somewhat hipster 1950s. The laundromat itself is a 24-hour, unattended bleak place (based off a real place I frequented while I was in college).

Any thoughts about any aspect of it would be appreciated! Thank you.

[Oliwerko]

First, perspective is waaaay off in that loundry. It is simply not possible to see in it like that. Think about it, look at it from "other angle".

Second, you have some wheels trouble with that cars, I can not see the rear one and the front one is sunken to the road on the squad car. Also the siren is IMHO too dark.

Third, maybe more contrast should be applied. It is a bit too black-and-white style, but that is maybe fine, I would just fix the places where it makes trouble (siren, wheels,etc.)

After some corrections, this bg is going to be very pretty, nice cars there!
Keep it up!

[Evil]

Looks really good. The cars are on the right track, but look too round and cartoony. The signs and lighting look great.

The angle of the washers is too low. The angles of your other room are really good. The angle of the washers make the wall look angled in like the room is triangular or something.

The color of the cement between the bricks is a bit dark.

Edit: I played around a bit. Didn't turn out great, but whatever.




Crap, saved them as JPGs. Oh well, I think the point gets across.

[Mould Cheeze]

I think the light on the advertism should look more like a cone than a triangle.
and maybe could make light come out of the laundry's window and you could also attach some reflection to the window (and by reflection I mean simple bright diagonal lines).
And maybe the white areas of the cars could be turned darker and the main character, too.

Anyhow: I like the screen, simple but good!

[frission]

First, perspective is waaaay off in that loundry. It is simply not possible to see in it like that. Think about it, look at it from "other angle".

The problem I've struggled with is that I'd like the perspective to be similarly Cavalier perspective as the other room, but of course that poses odd problems when looking "into" places. I'm not totally sure how best to handle that at the moment.

Second, you have some wheels trouble with that cars, I can not see the rear one and the front one is sunken to the road on the squad car. Also the siren is IMHO too dark.

The back wheel is mostly covered in that model of car. It is based on photo of an actual squad car model. (reference photo)

Third, maybe more contrast should be applied. It is a bit too black-and-white style, but that is maybe fine, I would just fix the places where it makes trouble (siren, wheels,etc.)

Well, it is meant to be desaturated and low-contrast; that's the look of the overall game, to give a noir-y feel.

[Sparky]

The problem I've struggled with is that I'd like the perspective to be similarly Cavalier perspective as the other room, but of course that poses odd problems when looking "into" places. I'm not totally sure how best to handle that at the moment.

I appreciate that you're trying to stick with cavalier projection throughout your backgrounds. I think that will add a lot to the quality of the game. Could you elaborate on the issues you're having with that?

[frission]

OK, here's draft 2.





I incorporated some of the suggestions above and made a number of changes both small and large. The biggest change is obviously the inside of the laundromat, which Evil's suggestions about changing the perspective of helped me a lot. I also realized that I had to change the scale a bit, to make things a bit smaller in there, if it was going to make visual sense.

I did a little work on the cars but not too much. I changed the mortar color so that it contrasted less with the bricks. I changed the lights on the signs a bit too -- they're more focused, and there are more of them, which I think looks better.

Thoughts? I might take off the reflections on the glass; the more I look at them the more they seem to distract, and I don't know if you'd be getting that much reflection anyway (a lighted window at night is always pretty crisp in my experience).

[frission]

The problem I've struggled with is that I'd like the perspective to be similarly Cavalier perspective as the other room, but of course that poses odd problems when looking "into" places. I'm not totally sure how best to handle that at the moment.

I appreciate that you're trying to stick with cavalier projection throughout your backgrounds. I think that will add a lot to the quality of the game. Could you elaborate on the issues you're having with that?

Oh, it's just a question of making the perspective make sense, while making it also be internally consistent. Because it's an arbitrary/non-natural form of perspective it always throws me for a loop when it's for things like looking into something from some distance back.

[Khris]

The perspective works fine now, but you have to stick to it. The cars need to be drawn that way to. You'll find it'll look much more coherent.

And I'd lose the reflection, remove the outline of the window lettering and make it smaller.

[frission]

The perspective works fine now, but you have to stick to it. The cars need to be drawn that way to. You'll find it'll look much more coherent.

Hmm, I think I'm going to pass on re-drawing the cars. Aside from taking a long time, I don't think they look bad being horizontal like that (in the same way that the characters are). I'll think about it though, but it's not going to be the first thing I'm going to be eager to do.

And I'd lose the reflection, remove the outline of the window lettering and make it smaller.

Mmm.... I think the outline on the lettering helps the neon look bright. If you remove it, it looks a bit skinny and is a bit harder to see.

[TheJBurger]

I like your style and I tried to do a sloppy edit:



The main thing I changed was the lighting. First, I darkened certain sections like the car and some of the signs, and then I added a blue tint to most of the outside sections. I also added a slight yellow tint to the lighted sections and the top of the cars to help define them. Also, I tried to make the lights on the signs fade out a little. Hopefully this helps.

[ThreeOhFour]

Way to add another element, JB. Nice feeling of depth in that edit.

[GarageGothic]

I think JBurger's edit, although I like it, changes the style too much. Your main concern SHOULD be the light, but you can do it much simpler and in a way that fits your style. First of all, work on the sidewalk shading, and turn the part that isn't lit up by the light through the laundromat window much darker. Also, darken the cars. If they are objects, that can be done with walkable area lighting.

[frission]

Haha, nice job JBurger! That looks awesome, and I'm flattered you'd take the time to do that to my little scene. But as GG points out it's not the right style for this game. Think less Gabriel Knight and more Police Quest 2 (but darker) -- almost no gradients, a very restricted palette (I think as is this scene is around 70 colors total), and a purposefully "flat" appearance to things. You can be in charge of the VGA re-make though. ;-)

[GreenBoy]

I like it.  The lighting suits your particular style.  The only thing that bothers me is that the cars are too close to the pavement.  Maybe its just me but it kinda looks like their actually parked on the pavement rather than next to it.

[TheJBurger]

Haha, nice job JBurger! That looks awesome, and I'm flattered you'd take the time to do that to my little scene. But as GG points out it's not the right style for this game. Think less Gabriel Knight and more Police Quest 2 (but darker) -- almost no gradients, a very restricted palette (I think as is this scene is around 70 colors total), and a purposefully "flat" appearance to things. You can be in charge of the VGA re-make though. ;-)

Yes, well you can still achieve a similiar effect (perhaps my edit was a little too dramatic) pixel-pushing and using no gradients, unless you don't want this kind of lighting scheme which I totally understand. The main reason I made the edit was because it looked like there was no lighting, and I thought the scene looked kind of undistinguishable from night and day.

[Sparky]

I think the interior of the laundromat works very well now.

About the reflections- I think they fit the style well. If you're worried about realism take them out, but I think they look nice and cartoony.

[Dualnames]

No need to alter it it looks good now. JB you still own