An orchestral song

[Oliwerko]

Hi there fellows,

The initial composition of this track has been lying on my HDD for months, and after the last 3 days I am finished.
It's by no means meant to be a 'serious' orchestral work. It's just that I used orchestral sounds, that's all.

I'd like any comments on the composition, sounds, panning, whatever you have in mind.

You can find the track here:
http://oliwerko.ic.cz/Green-eyed_Girl.mp3

Thanks for listening, and enjoy 

[LRH]

It's really kinda neat, sounds etude-ish.
Good use of arpeggios for support of the beginning.

I have a few suggestions:

I'd like to hear more variety from the drumkit. It has a LOT of potential but as of now it's a bit dull.

The part with the flute was really beautiful, but the song didn't really let me know it was coming. It would be cool if you could kind of swell everything up and make it very intense right before it starts. Maybe some sort of slow yet intense drum fill as well.

Just a couple ideas. Really good work on this.

[Oliwerko]

Thanks for listening, Dom! 

You're probably right about the drums, I wasn't sure about them. Not about what sounds to use, neither what to do with them.
By more variety you mean it should be more complicated, or it should change over time?

And which flute part did you mean? The solo (2:25), or accompanied by a harp (3:45)?


I feel that the drums could solve both issues - to make them less boring AND to make things more intense. The question is how 

[LRH]

Do you know anything about drum corps?

If you don't they're basically professional marching bands. While your piece is much more contemporary and slow, what they usually do to introduce something exciting is make the drums progressively faster and louder over a SHORT period of time (if it went on any longer than 3 or 4  seconds it would start to sound kinda weird)

This is the best example I can think of:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQKZLc5VcDw

Just notice how just before any big moments there's a huge swelling in the percussion. They let the wind instruments (strings in your case) build, then explode right before impacts. You'd probably want a much more modest version for what you're working on, though.

By more variety, anything you've suggested works fine. Just change it up a bit

[Oliwerko]

Something like this?

http://oliwerko.ic.cz/Transition.mp3

I'm not sure if it fits though...

[LRH]

Ehhh even more so. Does whatever program your using allow to increase BPM or use crescendos? Also a bit of a more complicated fill wouldn't hurt.
Instead of cymbal quarter notes I think you're better off with a cymbal roll that crescendos, if you can.

[Oliwerko]

I can increase BPM, but I didn't like it in this track, I don't know, it kicks me out of sync.

I'll look for some more cymbal rolls, I surely can make a crescendo, I just need to find the right sound.
Meanwhile, I adjusted the cymbal sound which sounded a bit odd to me:

http://oliwerko.ic.cz/Cymb1A.mp3


EDIT:

I've experimented a bit more. I've tried yet another drumkit:

http://oliwerko.ic.cz/OrchDrumkit.mp3

And also I've made edits to the transition:

http://oliwerko.ic.cz/Transition2.mp3


I don't know if it's any better, esp. the new drumkit. And while the transition may sound nice, is it really necessary?

Share your thoughts please 

[LRH]

No, not necessary, really. Just a suggestion. I like the new drumkit a bit better, but maybe that's just me?

[Oliwerko]

EDIT:

Aaah, I guess I'll give up on this one and leave it as it is. That timpani rolls just suit nowhere and I don't like that transitions either.

Again, I fail to finish the song completely, because of this "stubborness" that I get after a certain point.

Nevertheless, thanks very very much for valuable input.
I have to say this track was a breakthrough, I never thought I could do anything purely orchestral. Expect more soon

[i stole your car]

I know you said you're not working on it anymore but I just noticed the topic so I'll go ahead and post a comment in case you get round to seeing it. The instruments of the song sound very synthetic, which could just be an issue of you using the default sounds of a keyboard or that came pre-packed with your production package. Maybe you used synths to try and emulate the sound of an orchestra yourself but complete with the drums and that raging synth it sounds very retro game soundtrack. (Maybe that's what you were going for? Not really a criticism.)

I am going by the first link you posted in the thread here, but I would consider cutting the drum track entirely if it is a soundtrack piece. It would take some of the lower depth out of the song but at the moment it is also a little jarring in comparison with the rest of the piece. I really like the harp(?) section and the song develops really nicely. I admit when I first heard that initial synth I was unsure, and some of the deeper synth parts of the song get a bit muddy to listen to, kind of overwhelming the rest of the music. They drone a bit sluggishly later in the piece and I don't know if they're just too loud but they seem to swallow up the other instruments. After the flute kicks in for it's "solo" everything lightens up but then as the drums come back in, an additional synth line is added that just seems too heavy.

I'll tell you what this reminds me of also, one of my favourite videogame tunes of all time:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gHldsUriXLc

Anyway, it sounds like a pretty complete song at the moment so I wouldn't worry about "failing to complete it." It's good.

[Oliwerko]

Hmm, I didn't think it would strike someone like too synthetic. Except the first part, that is. I thought it had a pretty realistic sound provided it's a synth.

It's not a soundtrack piece, and I think without the drum track it would be lacking.

Maybe I have some different kind of perception, I don't find that muddy or unrealistic either...