Dialogue and Puzzles for Adventure Game

[Grapefruitologist]

I wrote a... well... whatever you call it. Er, let's just say it's everything but the graphics and coding. I want your opinions (or, criticism) about it. (I'd make it into an actual adventure game, but I don't know how... atleast not yet.)

Kids, if your bf/gf ever dumps you and your souls switch bodies, DON'T do this at home.

The game starts with a 15-year-old girl crying about her boyfriend leaving her. "What a jerk! He called me crazy! I'm not crazy, am I?" she says. Then, she looks out the window  at a dark night and there's a

shooting star. "This is my wish-that I get revenge on that jerk for what he did." Then there's a flash of lightning. "Muahaha. Muahahahahaha. MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!! *cough* *cough* ahem."
Then it shows the boring credits and title and everything.
The next morning...
The girl wakes up to find  she's not quite herself.
"Why am I not in my bed? I don't remember anything. I don't drink. I don't do drugs. I don't party."
Then she gets up and looks in the mirror. She is in Kyle's body.
"Muahaha. Muahahahaha. MUAHAHAHA! *cough cough* excuse me."
The rest of the game is focused on making his life miserable... fun, eh? What more could you ask for entertainment.
Now Hailey is in Kyle's bedroom. There's a Lord of the Rings poster on the wall, drawers with paint and junk in it (and clothes), a computer,  a goldfish bowl, and a bag of MnM's.
Open Drawer
Pick up Tacks
Pick up Tape
Pick Up Paintbrush And Paint
Use Paint and Paintbrush on Poster
"Heheheh... Frodo has a sort of Salvador Dali thing going on there."
Use Tacks on Kyle's Shoes
Open Door
"No, I think I want to ruin his life in here some more first."
Look at Large CD Organization Holder Thingy
"It's a... large... CD Organization/Holder thingy... And, it's filled with CDs."
Look at Kelly Clarkson CD
"Kyle may be a jerk, but he has good taste."
Push Large CD Organization Holder Thingy
"Somehow I have the feeling I've seen this somewhere." (This is referring to the music video, "Since U Been Gone," where Kelly Clarkson pushes over her ex-boyfriend's... er... CD organization thingy. One of

the many inside jokes in adventure games I normally don't get.)
Eat Goldfish
"Here goes nothing." *gulp*
Use Goldfish Bowl on Computer (Insert electrical noises and sparks and stuff here)
Pick Up Expensive-looking Clothes
Pick Up Large Bag Of MnM's
Open Door
Walk
Open Door
(In bathroom)
Use Expensive-looking Clothes on Toilet
Open Door (In Hall)
Walk Down Stairs
(In Living Room)
Now Hailey is in Kyle's living room. His mom and dad are drinking coffee here, and you can't tell if they're male or female.
Parents: "Hi Kyle, I'm surprised you're up this early on Saturday."
"Um, well, I was going to do some stuff first really quick."
"You're not going to see all those girls again, are you?"
"Um... what girls?"
"Those ones you were with in the bar."
(Thoughts) "Two weeks ago?!! He hadn't even broken up with me then!"
"Um, I'll be definately doing that. I mean!, no, I was just going to go to the library."
"Ok, well be back before 12:00."
"Okay Mom. I will."
"Mom?!!"
"I mean Dad!"
*walks outside*
Meanwhile...
Shows Kyle in Hailey's body, just waking up.
"What am I doing here?!! Did she kidnap me or something?!!"
*looks in mirror*
"AHH!! Help!!! Help!!!!!!!!"
(back to Hailey in Kyle's body)
A box is on the welcome mat, and Kyle's bike around the corner of the house.
Use Tape on Tacks
Use Taped Tacks on Bike
"When Kyle uses this bike, the tacks will pop the tires."
Pick Up Box
Open Door
(In Living Room)
Drop MnM Bag
Parents:"Don't worry, I'll pick that up, Kyle."
*Dad picks up MnM's*
(Otherwise, you could go to the kitchen and do the next trick, otherwise the parents would see.)
Go to Fridge
Open Fridge
Get Raw Egg Carton
Get Knife
Use Knife On Box
Pick Up Cardboard
Open Cupboard
Use Cardboard on Cupboard
Use Raw Eggs on Cupboard
Close Cupboard
Take Cardboard
(This would make it so that when the cupboard is opened again, raw eggs will fall onto the person opening it. This idea is from MTV's "Homewrecker.")
Dad has finished MnM-cleaning.
Walk to Door (Outside now)
Walk Down Street
Now Hailey is walking down the street.
Walk to Dark Alley
The alley has garbage cans and stray animals.
Pick Up Filthy Flee-Ridden Lice-covered Stray Dog (woof)
"Ouch! That dog bit my hand! "
"What the halibut-either he's trying to get good dental hygiene or that dog is rabid!"
"How, I thought maybe I could just ruin Kyle's life, not literally destroy it-this is great!"
Meanwhile...
Kyle, in Hailey's body, is now at the physchiatrist (spelling?)
Kyle in Hailey's body: "Again, I'm not crazy or lying or rabid-me and my ex-girlfriend switched bodies."
Dr.: "How do you know that you are not  lying? Perhaps you are lying to yourself."
Kyle in Hailey's body: *sarcastic* "Yeah, right, I'm lying to myself, and I suppose tommarrow I'l lie that the world has turned into a giant squash, and it will happen."
Dr.: "Now we seem to be getting somewhere."
Kyle in Hailey's body: "That was a joke. You shouldn't have taken me seriously. I am not a serious person."
Dr.: "So you feel the need to not take things seriously. Why do you feel this need?"
We come back to Hailey in Kyle's body, in the alley, now.
Pick up Rotten Decaying Toothbrush
Pick up Cat Hair
"No way. Kyle is allergic to cat hair, and if I picked it up with my bare hands in his body, well-something bad would happen."
Pick up Rubber Gloves
Use Rubber Gloves
Pick up Cat Hair
"Excellent. Kyle is allergic to cats."
Look at WhiteSpraypaint
"People use this to spraypaint on the alley walls here."
Pick up White Spraypaint
Pick up Red Spraypaint
Pick up Blue Spraypaint
Use White Spraypaint on Black Decaying Rotten Toothbrush
"That should do it."
"Hmm. The bottle doesn't say non-toxic..."
"Oh well."
Pick up Lice & Fleas
"I'm all itchy now! I demand that I find a cure for these fleas before I do anything else."
Walk to Street
Walk to House
(In Kyle's house now)
Walk to Kitchen
"No. I won't do anything until I find a cure for my fleas."
Walk Upstairs
Walk to Door (in bathroom now, with a shower in it)
Walk to Shower
"No. I may have given him rabies, allergies, and fleas, and replaced his toothbrush with a spraypainted rotten piece of junk, but I still respect his privacy. Besides...."
"Probably not a lot to look at, anyway."
Pick up Shampoo
Look at Shampoo
"Grouse's new shampoo. Get rid of lice, flees, dustmites, ticks, and any other kind of buglife found in dark alleys and pet hair. CAUTION: Do not get near eyes."
Use Shampoo
"No, it will kill the fleas in my pocket. I better get a container or something to put them in first."
Look at Empty Bottle
"This bottle once had Grouse's flee-free shampoo in it. There's still a little bit of shampoo on the bottle."
Pick Up Empty Bottle
Use Empty Bottle with Sink
"It's washed out now."
Use Empty Bottle with Towel
Use Dry Empty Bottle with Lice & Fleas
"The fleas are in the empty bottle now."
Use Flea-Free Shampoo
"My hair and clothes have shampoo all over me now, but atleast I'm not so itchy anymore."
"There's still some shampoo in this bottle."
Walk to Door
(In hall)
Walk to Door
(in Kyle's Bedroom now)
Look at Glasses
"Kyle needs these glasses, but he hardly ever wears them-except when he's reading."
Use Flea-Free Shampoo on glasses (It says, "Don't get near your eyes")
Walk to Door
(In hall)
Walk to Stairs
(In Living Room)
Walk to Kitchen
Pick up Red Dye
Walk to Stairs (in upstairs hall)
Walk to Door (in Bathroom)
Use Red Food Dye with Dry Flea Bottle
Use Red Flea Bottle with Sink
"It looks like shampoo now."
Use Fake Shampoo with Shower (So that next time Kyle takes a shower, he uses the flea water thinking it's shampoo.)
Walk to Door (in hall)
Walk to Stairs (In Living Room)
Walk to Door (in Street)
Walk to Library
Pick up Book: "The Art of Origami"
Open Book: "The Art of Origami"
Pick up Page (that is, this would rip the page out)
Use Ripped Paper on Origami Book
"Hey look! I made a little doggy."
Use Table
(Hailey, in Kyle's body, is now on the table in the middle of the library)
"EVERYBODY-I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE."
(You now have a choice to say the following):
I am balding. I should have known from the begginning-my dad, my grandpa, my grandma, all the way back to my great, great, great Uncle Chuckie. Bald, every last one of them. By morning, most of you will

prefer my head to the mirror.
I am gay. Yes, I know it seems hard to believe. I didn't know it myself until this morning. but now I have finally realized it. Michael Jackson and I will be leaving on our honeymoon in a month or so, so please tell

my now-ex-girlfriends not to worry about me any longer, and move on to the next guy they see.
I am fat. It was so innocent in the beggining, a bag of MnM's here, a jumbo cheeseburger with extra everything there. But now, I have realized my destiny. I predict that by tommarrow evening some of you will

mistake me for a beanbag.
I made a doggy, everybody! Look!
I am disrupting the library and I should shut up and be quiet...
(Any of these choices, except for the last one, will get you banned from the library.)
If you say, "I am gay," then a gay guy will meet you after you get kicked out of the library.
Gay Guy: "Is that true what you said in there? You're gay and you know Michael Jackson?"
Hailey in Kyle's body: "Yes, I am afraid so. Well, acctually, me and Michael Jackson just broke up."
Gay Guy: "Really? Well then in that case, do you want to go out tonight?"
Hailey in Kyle's Body: "How about next Saturday?"
Gay Guy: "Ok, deal."
If you say, "Look, I made a doggy," (from the paper), then a japanese origami teacher will set you up with lessons for next week in an origami class.
Is you say, "I am fat," this will happen:
Fat Guy: "You're not alone, buddy! I, too, am fat."
VERY Fat Guy: "So am I. I just can't help it. I would diet, but the only food that can fit in my fat cheeks is whipped cream. I would excersize, but I can't get up."
Toothpick-Thin Guy: "I too, believe it or not, also have the genetic curse. But there is a solution to your problem! Eat-a-holics Anonymous."
(Then he hands out pamphlets)
Hailey in Kyle's Body: "There is no hope for me. I am just too fat. I can not give up my cheeseburgers, my ham sandwiches, my artificially flavored banana cream pies (no actual bananas included) topped with

a red-dyed milk chocolate strawberry. Alas, I do not look fat now, but I am hooked. There is no hope. Leave me here, let me be. I will die from a quick heart attack, with my mexican El Hopper tacoes and

shrimp popsicles in peace."
Thin Guy: "Don't give up now! You can make it! That's what I said, but look at me now! I beseech you, don't give up now!"
Hailey in Kyle's Body: "I am afraid not. Not this time. My destiny is engraved-yes, engraved in my DNA like peanut butter stuck to your mouth. Mmm, peanut butter... with a little whipped cream and topped

with powdered sugar."
Thin Guy: "Stop it! Why do you do this to yourself! You can make it! Try, for codfish's sake, man! Try!"
Hailey in Kyle's Body: "Okay, I'll be there Sunday."
Thin Guy: "Thank you! Thank you! Oh yeah, and tell the teacher that I told you about the class, I get $30 for each refferal."
That is when the librarian comes and kicks Hailey (in Kyle's body, it can get confusing) out.
Meanwhile...
Kyle in Hailey's body: "And then I pulled my tooth out, and it kind of left a little scar behind, where the gum was ripped... the dentist told my mom it would go away, but it's been about 10 years now and it's still

there. A year later, when I was 9..."
And this is the part where it goes back to Hailey in Kyle's body.
Go to CD Shop
Shopkeeper: "Can I help you?"
Dialogue Choices:
Yes. What CD is the worst, most disgusting, ear-drum-exploding piece of crap the worl d has ever heard?
No thanks, just browsing.
If you say, "What CD is the worst," then the shopkeeper will reply, "We don't carry any CD's of that type around here."
If you say, "No thanks, just browsing," the shopkeeper will reply, "Okay, let me know when you're ready to buy anything."
Look at The Wigglebops CD
"Your 2-year-old's favorite show's soundtrack. Includes a bonus track featuring the Doodles."
Look at Kelly Clarkson CD
"How can a small, almost-paper-thin piece of..."
"well... whatever CD's are made of, bring such joy to the entire world?"
Pick up Kelly Clarkson CD
Look at Favorite Soap Opera Soundtracks of 1935
"I didn't know soap operas HAD soundtracks!"
Pick up Favorite Soap Opera Soundtracks of 1935
Talk to Shopkeeper
"Can I help you?"
Choices:
Yes. What CD is the worst, most disgusting, ear-drum-exploding piece of crap the world has ever heard?
I'm ready to buy these now.
No thanks, just browsing.
"I'm ready to buy these now."
"Okay, that'll be $42."
"Oh, cool!  I can use Kyle's wallet!"
"What's that?"
"Nothing. Here's the money."
"Okay, come back soon!"
Walk to Door (in street)
Walk to Sporting Goods Store
Shopkeeper: "Welcome! Can I help you?"
"Uh, yes, can I tell me where to find the knives?"
"Sure, follow me."
*Walks to knives section*
"Here it is."
Pick up Butcher Knife
Buy Butcher Knife (Just go talk to the shopkeeper and everything)
Walk to Door (In street)
Walk to House (In Kyle's living room)
Walk to Stairs (upstairs)
Walk to  Door (In Kyle's room)
Look at CD
"Switchfoot CD."
Use Wigglebops CD with Switchfoot CD
"I switched Switchfoot with Wigglebops!"
Use Favorite Soap Opera Soundtracks of 1925 with Kelly Clarkson CD (Kyle's, the one on the floor)
"I'll just take this Kelly Clarkson CD..."
Use Kelly Clarkson CD with Pile of CDs
"Oh, yeah, and I guess you expect me to giftwrap it and write "To Kyle" on it, too, right?"
Use Butcher Knife on pile of CDs
"They're all scratched up now... but not nearly as much as I want them to be."
Pick up Pile of CDs
"Well, I don't know, but I might be able to damage them a bit more."
Walk to Door
Walk to Stairs
Walk to Door
(In street)
Walk to Park
There are people there, walking their dogs and playing frisbee.
Use Pile of CDs on Dog with Large Canine Teeth
*throws frisbee*
*Dog runs and catches it in teeth and brings it back*
"Good boy!*
Hours later...
"Well, boy, it's time for me to go. Sorry."
"Woof!"
"I'm sorry, boy. I have to go now. Bye."
"*whimper*"
"Go back to your owner now." *Dog won't go*
"Um... go back now. Seriously. Go."
"Grrr"
"Fine. Come with me. I'll name you Scott."
Pick up Scottie Dog
Go to Street
Go to House
Go to Stairs
Go to Room
Use Dog on Bed
"Here, doggy, this is your new home."
Walk to Door
Walk to Stairs
Walk to Door
(In street)
Look at Poster
"Missing scottie dog. Last seen at the park. Call 26542-83453-thisisnotarealphonenumber if you have seen him."
Use Phone Booth
Use Phone
"I need to put money in first."
Use Wallet with Phone
Use Phone
Choices:
26542-83453-thisisnotarealphonenumber...
Prank Phonecall
If you choose, "Prank Phonecall," then this will come up:




I don't know what to write after this, but eventually what's supposed to happen is that Kyle (in Hailey's body) somehow gets released (or escapes) from the phsychiatrist, and they get switched back. And

then he's got a ton of traps set up for him...

[dsg_charly]

Hi Grapefruitologist,

Apart of the curious idea to put complete story and walkthrough, your game seems interesting. The dialogs are fun too. I stop reading your post because I hope I can play such game one day. I think you can start the drawing and coding part. 

[ManicMatt]

Same here, I stopped after the bit about looking inside the drawers becasue this does sound intriging and I don't want it ruined either!

[Grapefruitologist]

Wow, thanks. I would've wrote it in a different way, but I don't really know how I could do that...

[DonB]

Very original, I like it! Lets rock and make the game mate!

[Grapefruitologist]

Thanks, I wrote some more (and edited a few parts, so maybe you should read from the begginning if you want to see what I added...)
I am making the game on AGS... but I'm not doing so good on the art. I can draw some stuff, just not all of it... I need a somebody to draw the background.