Lost Paradise - my comic - 2nd page uploaded!

[guybrush]

Here I am again with my comic, this time in a new thread because the old one was accidentaly deleted. This time, I'll show you finished(Feel free to c&c on it anyway) comic cover and first page of the comic. You probably noticed my English isn't exactly perfect, so warn me about mistakes in the texts. And of course, on page 1, some advices about the pictures would be nice. Thanks in advance.
Here's the cover:


The first page:


And the 2nd page.

[Babar]

It has a few grammatical errors like mixing of tenses and such, but I'm sure you can clear it up.

[Candall]

Seems interesting so far, but I don't think it's very likely that a Marine would have spent two years in Iraq.  Unless I'm mistaken, their deployments are typically only six months; the Army deployment is currently fifteen months and they're the longest one in the military.

To have been there for two years would mean multiple deployments... I could be terribly mistaken having missed something about the way Marines operate, but I really don't think it could possibly happen all at once.

[nihilyst]

Hm, the pics won't show for me.

[guybrush]

@Babar, could you please be more specific? It would really help me.
@Candall; Are you talking about marine's training or their time on the field? I'll change it they aren't on the field longer than that.
@nihilyst: it's probably something with your browser because other guys can see them.

And I've noticed the last pic is kinda weird, after seeing it on my friend's pc.. I'll change the shading asap.

[Candall]

@Candall; Are you talking about marine's training or their time on the field?

Time in the field.  Everything I've found says seven months.  That's current, of course... I don't know how it was in the past, but I assume that this guy was in Iraq for the current war, right?

[guybrush]

Yeah, the current war. Thanks a lot, I'll change that.

[Babar]

@Babar, could you please be more specific? It would really help me.

Yurrrrr, sure.
* Unless there are some weird time travelling escapades going on, there should only be 1 tense (past or present...or future?) used per situation. So when he's reflecting and thinks: "I never thought my life will end up like this", it would be better to have it in the past tense: "I never thought my life would end up like this". Another: "I never thought I'd...".

* Just small weird things: "I doubt it", "perfect view of the vice presidents...", "remember those few moments..".

* It's spelt 'through', not trough.

[guybrush]

Thanks, Babar.
I've uploaded the 2nd page and it's ready for c&c.