Need critic of story

[lo_res_man]

Im worcking on a game called "Perceptions: one meal to next" and in it  are kid on the street. you go to a home less shelter wanting food, but the shelter,run by sister magdilane, has no food or money, so you have to do do meny mabey imorel things , steal, lye, cheat so you can get food and money for the shelter. all give mor ideas as the come along , but i just want to say that im drawing the sprites in a way that looks like a kids drawing

[Raider]

Hi,

I'm no expert but maybe you should have something big to go for. Like not just bits of food laying around and when you collect them all you win, like the old Attari games (no offence those those games are cool) the 'big' thing you could do is get lots of food that would last you forever or somthing. Say meet an old man that gives you a 'quest' and you go on this journy and get it. You can still, at the begginning go round steeling stuff. But thats just a buget idea that I thought of while I was going along.
Hope you like, if not then scratch it  :'(

- Raider