Hows this for a story (new character pics)

Morgan · Thu 05/08/2004 07:27:18

Last week my computer screwed up and I was forced to reinstall windows which erased all my drawings and animations for the RTS adventure game I was going to make so that idea is dead. But I have come up with an interesting idea for a new game and wanted to know what people thought of it so hear is the story:

Jon Crane is Benji, the big blue Brontosaurus, entertaining all at daycare centers and old people homes all around the east coast. Recently he hasn't gotten very many job offers ever since he accidentally knocked a Sun Dale Retirement Home employee out a 5th floor window. (Jon is in the Dinosaur suit knocking things off shelves with his tail. A large window is open and an employee is standing next to it. Jon turns hitting the man with his tail but the man steadies himself Jon then turns to another employee carrying a tray of pills and punches him threw the window.)
Seeing this horrible incident up close made Jon realize that life is fragile and that he needed to have a job ware he could really help people. He put one and two together and came up with the logical conclusion. (Shows a group of graduating med students then pans over 10 feet to Jon walking out of a gun store.) He was going to be a hit man.
Jon gets his first assignment during one of his Benjee gigs from an old man who picked up one of Jon's business cards. The old man, Frankey Molten, wants Jon to rub out a man by the name of Bert Henderson who is the only man who could beat Frankey in the Vlanderhill Retirement centers upcoming senior racing event which is basically a light jog from the front office to the cafeteria ware the winner will get a small plastic trophy and a Jell-O cup.
Jon decides to take the job if the man gives him six thousand dollars and a Jell-O cup. So Jon heads out to find this Bert Henderson with the help of his racist dog, Kert. There will be danger, there will be excitement, and there will be Jell-O cups. This Fall Danger has a new name, Benji, the big blue Brontosaurus.

Mephistophilis · Thu 05/08/2004 23:37:37

cool.
All I can say, nothing get's Excitement going like a Children's entertainer going Postal.
out of curiosity, What is Kert Racist against?

Morgan · Fri 06/08/2004 01:07:18

Mephistophilis: I have been thinking about it and I think Kert will act like a normal dog but when a minority walks by Jon will say something like "No! Bad Kert! Nazi super men are not are superiors!"

jetxl · Fri 06/08/2004 18:23:20

I love this idea. There are so many angles of humour you can use in this story. This story is a potential AGS award winner! I say, don't rush it, take your time to work on the dialog and make something great.

Phemar · Sun 08/08/2004 13:07:43

I agree. With ace characters like that, you have got an award winner. Go for it, and don't rush.

Ozwalled · Sun 08/08/2004 21:34:16

I like everything about this except for the Benji name. It reminds me too much of that scraggly dog that went by the same name.

Everything else I like, though. Could be very interesting.

Morgan · Mon 09/08/2004 04:01:00

Award winner ha. I hope I win a solid gold trophy filled with twenties. I thought it was a good story but I never would have thought Award winning good. I better stop thinking about the possibility of an award and getting way ahead of myself then realizing theres no way I could make a game that good give up and through my computer out the window.

Ozwalled: I always seem to think of that dog to. Whenever I see that movie I think about how hes probably been dead for years and years. He really was scraggly wasnt he!

If anyone has any suggestions of what else he could be called id like to hear them because I wasnt entirely happy with Benji either.

falconmusic · Mon 09/08/2004 05:26:53

ill do free music for it

id love to do some korny kid show music mixed with some hardcore guitars

Raider · Mon 09/08/2004 05:49:16

Hey

A name for your character...
Buster.
hope its not lame

- Raider

Ozwalled · Mon 09/08/2004 07:04:54

Or possibly Bucky.