Small eerie tune

[Ozzie]

I wrote a little piece on the e-piano and I want to hear your opinion about it: http://www.yourfilelink.com/get.php?fid=370014

I guess this is the result of listening to the score of Trilby's Notes, 6DaS and Gabriel Knight 3 while trying to play a Mozart tune.....in my opinion it sounds very much like "Day Is Done" from Nick Drake.
I don't know why it sounds so "distorted". The recording quality is crappy, I know.

[Nikolas]

HEY!

This is very nice!

The chord progression is somewhat (over)used, but there is nothing to forbid you from using it, and it is one of the progressions that I really love very much!

It is as you say, very sad, and very beautiful! And the recording quality is not really that bad, I have to admit. I don't hear any pops, or clicks, or anything really. Can't see why you say it's crappy.

Your playing is quite nice, and sentimental (but you should be more careful to play all chords at the same time (all fingers touching the keys at the same time I mean)).

One other thing I would suggest is to have something like a middle section, or a bridge, or a chorus or something. You repeat the same progression 4 times, and then finish. It's not really that imaginative. It needs some kind of "holding up", or a "rest point", or something "different". I don't want to tell you what you could do exactly, as it would serve little purpose. It's best to sit down and try to find something that would work well.

But as I said in the begining, it is very nice and very well done to you mate

[Ozzie]

HEY!

This is very nice!

The chord progression is somewhat (over)used, but there is nothing to forbid you from using it, and it is one of the progressions that I really love very much!

It is as you say, very sad, and very beautiful! And the recording quality is not really that bad, I have to admit. I don't hear any pops, or clicks, or anything really. Can't see why you say it's crappy.

Your playing is quite nice, and sentimental (but you should be more careful to play all chords at the same time (all fingers touching the keys at the same time I mean)).

One other thing I would suggest is to have something like a middle section, or a bridge, or a chorus or something. You repeat the same progression 4 times, and then finish. It's not really that imaginative. It needs some kind of "holding up", or a "rest point", or something "different". I don't want to tell you what you could do exactly, as it would serve little purpose. It's best to sit down and try to find something that would work well.

But as I said in the begining, it is very nice and very well done to you mate

Thanks for the compliment!!
I agree that it doesn't seem very imaginative...
...but in the last few weeks I have a hard time coming up with new ideas.
But at the moment I can't think of a bridge....
...that's funny. I listened to it again and now I came up with a small one.
I guess I post a new version later.

I still think that the recording quality is crappy. There's some weird background noise, especially if I play louder. Mayber it's because the microphone was somewhat on?
I will look into it.

Edit: It may take some time until I post the new version. The new part is a bit tricky for me.

[Vel]

Hey, this is a charming melody you've come up with!
What's it for? If it's supposed to be background music for a game, I think it could do well without a bridge. I'd also vary the arpeggios a bit, what you seem to be doing is playing the bass notes of the progression and those in between. Do you plan to leave this piece as a solo piano one? I think some subtle strings could enhance it immensely. The recording quality isn't grand, but when you record it properly, I suggest you keep the high reverb effect - it adds 'space' to the music and adds to the atmosphere it creates.
Other than that, keep it up!

[Ozzie]

okay, here's the new recording: http://www.yourfilelink.com/get.php?fid=372622

The audio quality is much better in this one. Then there's a new bridge/refrain.
Oh, and I varied the arpeggios a bit more.

Edit: I plan to use this tune in a game, probably as a leitmotif. It seems very dramatic and calm, and like it has to hide something. I have a very rough story idea in mind that fits it.

[Gregjazz]

All sounds good, but I think it would be better if the pedal didn't hold down throughout the whole thing--you get some notes carrying through to the next chord which don't really work.