Yesterday's Past - The Concept Writing

[Albino-I]

I dunno if this is allowed (and I didn't know any other place to post this neither), and I'm new member also, but anyways. Let's get (almost) straight to the business.

I wanted to show a concept writing for the project "Yesterday's Past". It came out pretty well, but as almost all my writings, it's full of holes. So, if you have anything to paste over these holes, then fire away (also point out any spelling mistakes I may have done).

-:-:-:-

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The Story
Last Updated: 15.8.2004

The city of Winchestor is an ancient piece of art. It has stood it's ground years before
the very beginning of mighty empires and kingdoms of this world. Many centuries ago,
some time B.C, the best alchemist's and engineers of that time, tried to create something new.
Something different from anything that had been done before. They could see the terror
and misery of the future, that was supposed to come over all world. And they wanted to deny
it. They worked for many months. All night and day, driven by the passion to create.

Finally it was finished..

They had created something. Something that mankind should never had done. It was described
by Platon few hundred years B.C, that over the city was heard a loud crushing sound and when
the people got there where the sound had came from, they found something terrible.


Under the morning sun we wandered,
trough the city we went,
and when we arrived there,
we found them,
dead,

Platon, 354 B.C


Half of the citys people dead, that area was closed. No one was supposed to enter there, ever again.
A wall was built around that area. It was named Grud'mortis, roads of the dead. And even now,
after many centuries, at the brink of new millenium, it hasn't been entered. There is supposed to
be none alive there. Nothing living, but still.. Strange sounds and voice's can be heard there.
For years the police has been reported of strange sightings all around that area, but none of them
could be proven true. It has been a great mystery for many years, but now.. it seems that the mystery
could finally be solved..

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[BlackMan890]

wow great

you used some lines from platos to be used in it
i don't think i can say anything more than this:
G - R - E - A - T

[Albino-I]

Thanks.

This seems like an nice forum. I think I'll hang around here until I get bored to adventure game making. And that Platon thingy? Well.. I kind of made that up 

[stuh505]

That's awesome, a very intriguing setting!!!

Now the tough part is going to be coming up with a good plot to somehow force the character into a spiraling mystery that leads him into Grud'Mortis.  Have you figured that out yet?

Also I think Platon's quote could be written a little bit more elegantly.

But seriously, this sounds cool...I am already curious!

[aussie_unplugged]

Just a silly point, but I think it'll help you to get it right.

In English, "Platon" is "Plato" (if you're referring to the Greek philosopher).

[Albino-I]

Ah.

That's what I was thinking when I writed it. *Checks 'Plato' on a little note-book* Thank you for pointing that out.

And stuh505, you got point there also. The 'Platos' writing really sounds kind of dull. I think I'm gonna change it little bit too.

Actually I got the idea of this just couple of days ago.. (oops.. I'm falling on my story-telling mood again..) when I was walking in a street in sweden city called Stockholm. It was looking just like an ordinary city, but then I came to an part called 'old city'. It was marvelous. Old, cool looking buildings, I got an really good adventure game feeling there. So, when I got back to my hotel, I writed a plot for this project of mine. We'll see how it'll turn out