First attempt at manga.

[PeaceMan]

This isn't game related I was just trying this style of drawing. It was drawn in pixia with only a mouse. Criticism is welcome.  

[Schattenjager]

Good first attempt. I'll make up a quick sketch to try and show you what I mean with my mumbo jumbo.

my pic is really badly done, sorry. But I think you can get the general idea.

The hair needs work. It's all one clump. It's got the daria hairdo thing going on. Depending on how you draw long manga hair you can determine if a character has curly, wild, or straight hair. You need more defined seperate clumps of hair. Even if a character has completely straight hair, there will be stray thin whisps of hair that falls aways from the main direction of the hair. Especially long bangs. -Happens to mine all the time.

The eyes are a little strange. Manga eyes usually dont draw or define the whites of the eye. They draw the upper lash and the bottom lash, sometimes connected at the outer corner of the eye, sometime not. Usually the outer inner corner is not connected at all. It all depends on the personality of the character. Eye shape, since its the biggest feature on the face can very often define genre and personality. I think with the added feature of eyebrows it'll look better.

The nose, from a front perspective view is sometimes not even drawn. You wouldn't see the typical 'triangle' anime shape on a normal human from the front. Try using a  a straight vertical line or perhaps just define the bottom of the nostrils. Or do a combination of both. Sometimes just color shading instead of actual line art defines a character's nose.

Last thing. Even if it looks like it a lot of times. The manga head isn't a tear drop. There are cheek bones. On a female, they're not very obvious, and you can get away with it depending on what type of character you're making, but with males and older women,  you'll see it.

[PeaceMan]

Thanks for the help Schattenjager. I'll have another try at it.

[MrColossal]

http://www.polykarbon.com/tutorials/newface/frontview1.htm

mayhaps this will help?

i don't think it's a very good tutorial, more of a series of guidelines to try and remember

eric