Story and puzzle ideas.

[ginanubismon]

Hello there, my name is Edward Tomoe Pepelovski Hurricane Trigun Woodwolf Hao Manador Ren The fourth, I made it up, and I am here to ask for some minor help for making better storyline and puzzles for the future in my game.

If it helps here is a little background behind the story.

Inspired by my own fanfiction I had written a long time ago for King Of The Hill, it started out as a simple n00b/test game to dip my big toe into the AGS game making as a single thing I would call a "Fan Video Novel" which is a fancy name for fanfiction with pictures but it get out of control and taken a life of it's own.

I had chose to make a KOTH fangame was it is kind of a long running gag of that one story has almost several remakes (the orginal was based on screencaps I had seen of Excel Saga, the remake was based on Splatterhouse, the third remake was because I was frustated and the fourth and fifth were because I went insane) and it would kind of be funny that it would be my first game published.

In the orginal fanfic (which the game is the closest to) Bobby Hill was changed into a petite (or is it spelled ptite) cute girl in an explosion caused by a bomb planted by Bill (the insane neighbor), s/he adjusts to life until a mutated Bill cames back to get her with the help of an insane Luann and Joseph.

Long story short Hank, Luann, Joseph and Bill were blown up and Bobby leaves as Robin.

Now as I look back it really did not make sense to me, but I still loved it as it was one of my first completed long stories.

This brings about the new "series" I am working on which started off as a gag, just something to get into the community.

Blame my need to have something to show for my efforts as it was not quite good enough for me. I just kept on adding on a little bit more and morphing it until I got this idea:

Robbin Platter barely escapes the insanity of her insane neighbor and arrives at the hospital she was born at to find out what she is and why is this happening to her.

Which happen to be:

Spoiler

Years go before Harlen was created a rovering band of spirit foxes were captured by other foxes and as punishment they were chained to a priticular spot as their crimes were not sever enough to kill them but too devivious to let them go with just "a warning".

In some legends foxes do not like to be restricted by any means, which kind of made them even madder as time goes one while the other side (the human side) grew around them.

Eventually the hospital was built around them, this lead to an idea in one fox's mind even though the others had warned against it. She would slip away in a new body and be free again, only problem foxes can only posses those that fit their shape and sizes and taking one over that did not match up would cause compacations. Not listening anyway she hidden away in a unborn child anyway and manage to get away, too bad it was born a boy. After some years the explosion at the propane expo was the perfect oppitunity to finally change the body to the spirit's will.

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Yes, I know it is not logical but it is more logical then again this an illogical story to be with .

Spoiler

Back to the foxes, while Bobby/Robbin/fox was enjoying life the remaining foxes waited for the perfect host to come along to free them. When the hospital closed the foxes just wound up waiting for another chase to come along, then Dr. West bought the land. With his

[close]

cliched

Spoiler

expriments the spirits latched onto the foxes and slowly driven them nuts until they were just as bloodthirsty and crazy and the good doctor. The foxes decided to use the spirits to break the chains on their own with the spirits.

[close]

And that, in a nut shell, is the background of the first two chapters. Not orginal by a long shot but hopefully I can make it somewhat enjoyable in some way, now I just need to get the creative juices flowing.

This is where I need some critic's help, while I have a good idea of the story and many of the puzzles I need to keep the ideas flowing and perhaps I can bounce some ideas off of this forum to keep them going and perhaps steal, er, borrow some of your ideas.

The puzzle I have in mind that plays a very important role in the story is three coffins that have small Mexican skeleton dolls, Calaveras, that tells you a little important information and offers a sealing item. You can finish the game without them but you would only get a "so-so" ending where you don't die but you don't learn anything about yourself, and I was thinking of that you cannot get to a good half of the hospital without it (a cheap way of extending the game I know but I am trying to give a little extra bang for my first game). These sealing items can be used against the main bad spirits and learning more about the main character.

Another thing I have been thinking about is giving the game a special "secret" which would open up the next chapter, a special diary explaining what is happening before a "see you soon" or such and such. It might be overkill but there is still a mad doctor running around.

That is all I can write clearly as it is almost one o'clock in the morning and my hands are tiring.

Thanks for your help in advance and reading this.

[Kinoko]

Not an original idea?? o_o That's one of the most original ideas ever. Or weirdest, anyway. Can't say I really like it all that much, but I dare say that's because saying I was a fan of KotH would be an understatement, and I'm a purist when it comes to these sorts of things.

I sure hope you don't kill off Hank.

[ginanubismon]

Not an original idea?? o_o That's one of the most original ideas ever. Or weirdest, anyway.

I kind of smashed the idea together through other cliches and old legends, main sources are Japan, manga, anime, urban legends, games and good ol' dose of learning about things.

Can't say I really like it all that much, but I dare say that's because saying I was a fan of KotH would be an understatement, and I'm a purist when it comes to these sorts of things.

I gotcha, of course I'm not really a purist but I REAALLLY try to keep things within a set archetype I create in my mind. But of course hopefully I can effectively explain the hows and whys over the course of the series, especially in the very beginning when I get around to making Chapter Zero. Of course I do have a nasty habbit of being saddly OOC, but I try to make up for it.

It is just who I am  .

I sure hope you don't kill off Hank.

*Climbs into a sound proof booth, plugs both ears before putting on ear muffs and writes down the answer."

Sorry, he dies in this chapter.

[MrColossal]

One question:

Since this has nothing to do with King of the Hill except character names, why base it off of the cartoon [which is about growing up and living in an awkward community in Texas and nothing to do with gender reassignment/spirit foxes and horrible murder plots...] when you could just as easily create your own world and base it in there?

In my opinion the characters in King of the Hill aren't that amazing that characters like them can't be created quite easily and if you created them yourself I would be able to buy the story much easier because they are new characters...

If the answer is "Because I want to." Then so be it, but I'd recommend just making your own world, you can do more in it and it's yours, not Mike Judge's.

Either way, good luck.

[ginanubismon]

Because I want to.

And I am shot for using a bad joke. But truthfully it is because when I started I was going to do a kind of a cruddy/beginner game based on a piece of fanfiction that I was happy with to begin with then I kept on deleting it then changing it then going back and recreating over and over again.

Back again to the basic drawing board I am wondering if I can create a brand new little world cause it could work if I just keep some facts like the main character's name rhymes with "Robin" like Robert, that could work out better then I thought.

It would be better that way if I just kind of made my own world and characters as it would be easier, thanks for pointing that out guys. Of course I am hoping it will turn out alright for my first game ether way.