Nintendo Suck!

PsychicHeart · Sun 03/12/2006 02:01:32

Hey, was doodling the other day and ended up with this

.
I think i may include it as a comic for my series, which i'll be getting hosting for in about a week or two.
Crits and Comments appreciated
Cheers,
Fluke.
PS: If anyone has any ideas about fixing up the axe, it'd be appreciated.

ManicMatt · Sun 03/12/2006 02:18:48

I don't get it. Or I do and it's not funny, sorry.

The other guy doesn't like him getting an old console so he's made an axe come down to kill his friend?

I would at least advise that the hammer is not obscured by the speech bubble.

I like their names, "Blip" and "radar" hehe.

Darth Mandarb · Sun 03/12/2006 03:04:49

Fluke - I give you full credit 'cause you keep on trying... but this isn't really that funny??

Is the "drunk" part what you find funny? I know you kids these days think getting drunk is really cool/funny ... is that the joke?

As Matt said, the ax is covered by the speech bubble so it's hard to see

Also ... I think it should be spelled "should've"

I like the background you've used ... though it changes colors from frame 1 and 2 which wouldn't really bother me if it were a stronger change (to reflect a different mood/emotion) but it's just a subtle change. Don't know.

Anyway ... I admire your enthusiasm and willingness to keep on practicing. Perhaps, as I've suggested before, spend a little more time on the details rather than rushing to get it done. This feels very quickly done.

MashPotato · Sun 03/12/2006 04:21:47

I'm afraid I don't entirely get the joke either... perhaps it would be funny if I hated Nintendo (perhaps that's your audience?), or if it's a running joke that Radar hates Nintendo, but as a casual gamer I must say that the Gamecube is a darn fine system and the punchline doesn't make much sense to me $:-\$

In general, try to keep bubbles away from the sides such that the lines don't hit, and make sure they don't cover important parts of the panel (such as it is doing by covering the axe). I do like the empty second panel, helps with the pacing. Keep at it! ^_^

InCreator · Sun 03/12/2006 04:33:56

* The joke, as mentioned is between worthless and non-existant. You're trying too hard. There's lot of simpler things in life to laugh about, and console jokes are really old after gazillions of (crappy!) webcomics already around. Try something simpler.

* The art style is colorful and just minimalistic enough to pleasure eye and make it easy to read. What I suggest to change though, is the font and using all-caps.

* The turd(?) thingies look quite cool and have about enough expressions, but you could at least draw two turds, instead of copy-flip-and-recolor. It would make comic better.

My last suggestion is to try more (don't quit!). Find/create better jokes and you're in the business.

LGM · Sun 03/12/2006 07:49:46

I don't think you are doing badly, Fluke... Your heart is in the right place, but your humor needs some tuning. I'm sure you think you are writing funny stuff, and maybe you are. But it's not accessible. And if your jokes aren't accessible by a general audience, they're generally not considered funny.

So here's an example of what you could do with the same frames you made, but with different speech and a new prop.

Now, I'm not saying mine is any funnier... I did only do it in 5 minutes. But let's just say it is more accessible. More people can relate to this scenario, as outlandish as it is, because they don't have to make any connections as to why it's funny or should make sense. The concept here is much easier to interpret in three slides than is your Gamecube concept.

With your comic, we (the audience) are supposed to assume Gamecubes are bad. Then we are supposed to assume Blip doesn't like Nintendo products. THEN we are to assume violence toward Radar is funny, solely because he bought something Blip doesn't like. It's too much assumption. Too much work. You shouldn't have to make people work to produce laughs. Therefore, not funny.

It's okay. Comedy is a tough gig. You're on the right track. Don't give up!

Buckethead · Sun 03/12/2006 08:05:15

[lgm], in the first fram the blue guy calls the yellow one Radar but in the last frame he calls him Blip.

LGM · Sun 03/12/2006 08:07:23

Whoops. That's what happens when you rush art! :-p

Fixed:

ManicMatt · Sun 03/12/2006 12:05:15

Yeah, I agree with Increator about the characters. See, with the smallest of changes I've made them instantly different to each other, and gave them eyes that can express emotions.

I'd also change the axe for a guillotine, but that might be a personal choice.

Ashen · Sun 03/12/2006 12:40:28

Actually, I prefer the original eyes. They could still be slightly altered for expressions, and I think they fit the characters better then Matt's edit.
In lgm's repaint, a guillotine would be a better choice, I agree - but we're not supposed to be C&Cing that, are we?

Quote
With your comic, we (the audience) are supposed to assume Gamecubes are bad. Then we are supposed to assume Blip doesn't like Nintendo products. THEN we are to assume violence toward Radar is funny

Given the title of the thread, I'd say the first two were fairly obvious assumptions to make. And senseless violence towards funny little blob things is usually a safe bet for comedy - except that since I don't agree with the 'Nintendo Sucks' thing, the 'punchline' doesn't work for me. Now, if Blip had suggested playing Donkey Konga in panel 2, it'd work better for me. I had a similar conversation (apart from the axe ... honest) with a friend who owns a Gamecube, and being a bit drunk might've helped.
Suggestions for the axe - as has been said already, showing it might be an start.

LGM · Sun 03/12/2006 16:23:49

A guillotine would've been better, yes. BUT! That would have required much more editing than I was physically capable of at 2am.

ManicMatt · Sun 03/12/2006 16:25:39

...I meant Fluke changing his axe for a guillotine!

Gilbert · Sun 03/12/2006 16:45:09

But the problem was you edited LGM's edit, not Fluke's original strip! No wonder LGM got the wrong impression.

InCreator · Mon 04/12/2006 03:10:26

And fluke doesn't seem to check this thread anymore...
Unless he's up to much greater, improved and shocking comic--

PsychicHeart · Mon 04/12/2006 05:34:49

Quote from: InCreator on Mon 04/12/2006 03:10:26
And fluke doesn't seem to check this thread anymore...
Unless he's up to much greater, improved and shocking comic--

So, let me get this straight, if i don't reply to a thread i started within 24 hours, i "don't seem to check it"? BAGH i Say!
Anyway, in terms of the crits, thank you. I'm taking abord the guillotine advice, as well as a range of the other advice given. Update coming soon

Cheers,
Fluke.

Meowster · Mon 04/12/2006 18:50:09

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v328/Yufster/comic.jpg

Khris · Mon 04/12/2006 19:06:21

This is almost as the good as the thread where everybody drew the feet of Santa's wife...

Ghormak · Mon 04/12/2006 19:46:17

Kweepa · Mon 04/12/2006 20:18:13

Scummbuddy · Mon 04/12/2006 20:36:57

Yufster, if you moved the "here" above the other text box, the comic would be more solid.

and Virtual Boy for the win!