Splash screen comments and improvements

[Slasher]

Hi guys

I am wondering about this splash screen. Do you think the blood splash on the left side should stay there and without to much messing around, how could this splash screen be improved? If it could, how? Like should there be a Tag line across the bottom?

Suggestions welcome.



cheers

slasher

[selmiak]

maybe elaborate a bit more on what happened a year before, as the audience wants to know all the dirty details. Or is it planned to find out about this through out the game? But it seems like this is a known case already and the newspapers must have been full of it the year before and now it... is... back! dun-dun-dun

[Slasher]

Hi selmiak

maybe elaborate a bit more on what happened a year before

Apart from children going missing the above text does mention that de Sade's staff were found guilty of torture and mass murder and all sent to the electric chair. So the scene is set as you set off in hope of finding the missing children last seen playing in the grounds of the closed-down de Sade's Children's Home.

Just to set that straight. But I will naturally refine the text.

cheers

[Ghost]

It's a bit too much text (personal taste). You could go and try to shorten it by a good third and still have quite a bit of space for exposition. I just (personally) find it more satisfying to have exposition given in-game by characters, or even books.

[edit]
To be a bit more helpful, the text establishes you as a PI who's stuck with boring cases, seeing a chance to get some fame by investigating a popular murder site. That's two or three facts, stretched over three paragraphs. Think about your typical blurb; they are shorter and still get the vital information about a whole BOOK done. So it really feels to long.
Also, it should be "your cases" instead of "you're", and I am not sure if "sense the need" is correct (not a native speaker).

[Darth Mandarb]

I'm a tad confused...

Is this a "splash" screen or the "menu" screen? (I see the play/load options on the side)

As Ghost said there's too much text either way!  If this is a menu screen I don't think any of that text belongs (necessarily).  Feels more like it should be what you see when you select "new game".

I think the composition needs a bit of work.  I had a few free minutes so I did a quick paint-over to offer some suggestions:


- I removed "slasher presents" from the top... it was distracting from the title
- I moved it to the bottom (so it's still there but not so prominent)
- reorganized the buttons a bit to make them more prominent

NOTE
- didn't have your specific font so did a substitution
- didn't have the BG without the PC in it so I just copied from the GiP thread

[Slasher]

Cheers guy

Darth Mandarb

Well, it's both splash and intro in one, around 15 seconds long which I feel is not too long.

The title actually scrolls up the screen followed by a spinning newspaper sliding in then stopping for a moment and then sliding off followed by main text scrolling up. So, its not static so I can't use your image idea Darth but I may use it as an idea 

Ghost

I understand that the text should be more condensed, I will have a juggle around.

Thanks guys


Cheers

[Slasher]

I'v incorporated a new title (curtesy of Darth). Added buttons (curtesy of Darth)at the bottom and shortened the text (changed and arranged but what to take out or leave in is not so easy. I'm still going over it.)

One day I will learn to draw and paint properly

The screen starts with just the title. A newspaper spins in stops and spins out. Text scrolls up and the buttons appear.

[Stupot]

If you don't want to cut any of the text, then it might be better to bring it up in three chunks.  The big block of text is just a bit overwhelming and I can envisage most people skimming it or not even bothering.  whereas, if you feed it to them in smaller chunks they might be more likely to read it all.

[Slasher]

If some erks don't read the text it's not long before they know what's going on 

That's food for thought Stupot+ and in some cases that would be practical 

It's something I can ponder on, cheers.

Mind you, I have played games that have a five minute, 7000 word text intro..Now, that takes some reading 

[Snarky]

Why is the "splash screen" inside a frame instead of filling the entire screen? Pointless.

People don't want an explanation of the backstory on the start screen. Put this stuff in a skippable cut-scene either before the start screen or (preferably) after you choose "new game." Split it up across multiple screens. Don't have it scrolling, because then people can't decide how quickly to read it. And there are still multiple errors to fix in the text.

Or, as Ghost say, think about whether you can't communicate some of this information within the game.

[Lasca]

If some erks don't read the text it's not long before they know what's going on 

Then maybe there's not much need for all that text?

[Slasher]

Why is the "splash screen" inside a frame instead of filling the entire screen? Pointless.

Not sure why.

Having read through people's replies I may have to make a few changes.

Got to get there in the end. Oh, and it's yet to be grammar checked

cheers

[Eric]

Better yet, show don't tell. Stick that newspaper as a readable object in an office starting room.

[Slasher]

I'v looked at these posts and have decided to do away with the Text Info and have the character Say some of the important points when he enters the first scene which gives the user the background story. So I now have just the Title, Spinning Newspaper with the headlines on and the Start/Load/Dialog buttons...

Thank you guys for all your posts....

[Snarky]

Sounds like a good decision, so good luck!

[Slasher]

After the changes I have made due to people's comments it really is better the more I think about it and play it.

Cheers folks