Prison...

Bartimaeus · Wed 13/04/2005 18:47:32

Right...
This tune is somewhere further back in the critic's lounge but nobody seems to have had a proper look at it. (It had other stuff too)

I'd like to have this critted though coz I must say, I'm pretty proud of it.
100 % original - Don't wanna hear that it sounds familiar... Enjoy!

Ambient (minor)

CodeJunkie · Wed 13/04/2005 21:33:03

Very nice, I like the slight changes in the right hand.
I think my main problem is that the notes are too unevenly placed.Ã,Â I'm assuming that you recorded this on a keyboard, but the problem is that while it sounds really good on a keyboard, the PC really shows up small rhythmical errors, maybe it's because the notes don't 'ring' as much as they do on a keyboard or piano.Ã,Â Quanitizing will fix this (don't ask me for any tips

) or fixing up a few bars with different rhythms and pasting them throughout the piece, changing the notes accordingly.Ã,Â If you want to keep some of the feel you get when the notes aren't quite regular, perhaps try recording at a really slow tempo with a metronome.
As far as the tune goes, it's very nice, perhaps the dynamics could be played with after recording?Ã,Â Touch sensitive keyboards never seemed to get the dynamics right, or at least mine didn't.Ã,Â With a bit of fiddling you could get some really nice emotions in there.
Is this tune written for a game?Ã,Â It doesn't really make me think of a prison, to be honest, more of a very serious plot development, where the game suddenly focuses on two characters with that music playing in the background.Ã,Â The ending is nice, somewhat unexpected, which is good, but remember that unless this is a timed scene the ending will have to be cut out to let it loop.Ã,Â If it isn't game music, then ignore that, it's great on its own too.
Don't take all this criticism too heavily.Ã,Â I'm not trying to destroy your piece, just give you some ideas on how to make it better.Ã,Â As it is, it's still great

Flippy_D · Wed 13/04/2005 21:38:21

Not bad, as a piece, although I see some flaws, the only one which hasn't been mentioned (from this aspect) is:

It's kind of upbeat for a prison, although ironically the really high notes work very well.

Evil · Wed 13/04/2005 22:22:22

I like it. Though I agree with Flippy that its too upbeat. It'd make an awesome ending to a horror movie though. I say try revising it with more minors. Some high harmonic chorus singers would be a nice addition.

Phemar · Thu 14/04/2005 05:23:38

I think it sounds waay familiar ... Just kidding.

Really, it sounds cool.

Bartimaeus · Thu 14/04/2005 16:51:05

Quote from: SimB on Wed 13/04/2005 21:33:03
Don't take all this criticism too heavily.Ã,Â

Hey man... Not at all.
That's probably the best critism I've had to date!

You are exactly right about the unevenness of notes and I did know it. Problem is, I don't know how else to do it or edit once I've played it.
Oh yeah, and a humane person does not tell me exactly what I've been looking for and then forbid me to ask him about it. AAAAAARG!
Somebody... Anybody... Pray tell me about Quanitizing! (God forbid I actually have to look it up myself)

I was making a humorous prison game at the time and I thought... What the hell? So yeah, maybe that does need a bit more thought...

I'm glad you guys liked it and really, thanks for the replies and the critisism - I appreciate it!
Comments and crits still welcome....

~Billy

CodeJunkie · Thu 14/04/2005 20:15:42

Sorry, I meant 'quantizing'
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quantize

I don't know what program you use, but I think there are a few good ones here in case you want to try something else:
http://www.sonicspot.com/sequencers.html

Bartimaeus · Fri 15/04/2005 15:19:11

Hehehehehe...
Ta moley!

Mist · Sun 17/04/2005 13:12:11

I found that quite relaxing. But I also found that PreSchool Peter was familiar. I donno.

Great work.

Mist · Tue 19/04/2005 19:19:48

Ahh!!

Meant similar (in nature).

Not trying to say that it sounds familiar. Sorry for any misdirection.

Shane 'ProgZmax' Stevens · Tue 19/04/2005 19:45:01

I usually don't offer criticism on music because, well, it's all so subjective anyway, but here are a few thoughts:

The piano key strokes come off uneven at times to my ear until close to the middle, where you seemed to become mroe comfortable with what you were doing

The volume waves in an out, almost like you were holding a microphone and moving it back and forth.

I haven't really read the other critiques so I'm guessing you played this yourself? I rather like it, just try to clean up the volume a bit :>.

Bartimaeus · Tue 19/04/2005 19:54:52

Yeah dude, very perceptive.

I played this on my electric piano and it's really hard to get everything even.
All these music programs I download involve me spending about a month of reading a manual and a further month of experience. I don't really have the time for that and considering the fact that all I want to do is basically notate music with a playback feature, it hardly seems worth it.

I dunno hey, all the music things I post are off a stiffy that I just used to record a melody I came up with all of a sudden. I can't really get them past that stage though, as you can see.

Hmmm, I'll find something.

Prison...

Mist

Mist