Story concept

[Echarin]

Not AGS related. I hope that's okay.
Me and a few friends are thinking of making a film this summer (it would be our 3rd film project) and the concept is as follows:

    A man (let's call him John) wakes up on a rocky beach on the outskirts of a small town with a huge, bleeding wound in the back of his head, a pounding headache and no memory. He goes to town, thinking maybe he'll be recognised by someone there. No one there seems to know him. He manages to settle into a life in the small town, becomes quite successful and leads a rather good life. But ever since he woke up on that beach he has fealt as if he didn't belong here, not just in this town but in this world.

    The story behind this man is that he is from a parallel world. He was a lab assistant in that world, and after an experiment with wormholes goes wrong he and a scientist (let's call him Jack) are thrown through a portal to this world. When John comes through the portal on the beach he bangs his head on some rocks and loses his memory.
    Jack escapes with just a few scratches. When he finally realises what's happened he becomes enraged and wants vengance on this world as he somehow feels that the accident was this world's fault.

    People from this parallel world are superior to us, stronger, more agile, telekinetic powers etc..

    John later learns who he is and where he's from. Jack finds out how to re-open the portal and get back, but in doing so it will destroy this world. John discovers Jack's plans and tries to stop him. The story ends with a battle between John and Jack.


That's what we have so far.
Any C&C?

[4Dsheep]

Well, it's all hold a bit together by the "I don't really know what happens next but let's do this" glue, and that's not really a good thing.
And how does reopening the portal destroys the world? Do they need some kind of huge explosion to generate enough gravity for a black hole? Did this also happened to their world? Why do they fight? Why did this accident happen anyway?
There's a lot of plotholes.

[Echarin]

    I should probably have mentioned the story isn't finished yet. They fight because John doesn't want this world destroyed. Why the world is destroyed.... we're throwing around some ideas and the best we have so far is that in order for Jack to open a portal here, without having all of the advanced equipment and machinery of his home world, he needs to kill his "twin" in this world. Usually when one dies, his "twin" in the other world dies too, but with Jack here in this world it doesn't work like that. When he kills his "twin" it will make this world weaker. If this world becomes weaker the other world will slowly overpower it and engulf it.
    Even if Jack and John are here it doesn't make their world weaker. They would have to be killed to "disturb the balance".

[Phemar]

@#%$@%!!!!!!

I was just starting on a game with sorta the same storyline...

#^#%$%!!!!!!!

[Gord10]

Hey, this sounds like an interesting story.

[MrColossal]

Did this also happened to their world?

I think this is one of the most interesting parts

is their world destroyed also?

Is Jack risking it all only to find out that their world was also destroyed thereby killing both universes?

Throw a little of the old Philip K Dick in there and see what happens.

[Peter Thomas]

I really like the story idea, but I'm not too sure about the idea of killing his twin.

I (as a writer) often come up with ideas that easily explain away all sorts of complications - the true art is coming up with a LOGICAL explanation that makes sense to us that fills all the gaps as well. Maybe it doesn't have to be scientifically exact or something, but for such a good plotline, I sort of feel like "killing the twin makes this world weaker and will therefore destroy it" is a quick escape.

How does John know that killing the twin will end the world? And if Jack knows, why didn't he do something in the beginning? Killing John would mean his world would be destroyed, and no one could interfere with Jack's life again, so it doesn't make sense that he'd let things slide right up until the point where John finds out what's going on. And how does killing a twin open a portal in the first place?

Creating a wormhole back to his world wouldn't be that easy, either. It would take a lot of time (or if not, a lot of research!) How likely is it that Jack would only realise what John's intentions are JUST before he puts it into action?

Apart from that, I think it sounds very interesting.

[Echarin]

I really like the story idea, but I'm not too sure about the idea of killing his twin.

I (as a writer) often come up with ideas that easily explain away all sorts of complications - the true art is coming up with a LOGICAL explanation that makes sense to us that fills all the gaps as well. Maybe it doesn't have to be scientifically exact or something, but for such a good plotline, I sort of feel like "killing the twin makes this world weaker and will therefore destroy it" is a quick escape.

How does John know that killing the twin will end the world? And if Jack knows, why didn't he do something in the beginning? Killing John would mean his world would be destroyed, and no one could interfere with Jack's life again, so it doesn't make sense that he'd let things slide right up until the point where John finds out what's going on. And how does killing a twin open a portal in the first place?

Creating a wormhole back to his world wouldn't be that easy, either. It would take a lot of time (or if not, a lot of research!) How likely is it that Jack would only realise what John's intentions are JUST before he puts it into action?

Apart from that, I think it sounds very interesting.

You got the names mixed up. It's Jack who's the 'evil' one.
Thanks for the comments, they were really helpful. We'll look into making the story more logical. I wasn't really happy with how the idea progressed. I don't think anyone in our group did. We will probably rewrite it from the point where they both enter this world.
So we're back to a failed wormhole experiment that sends two people to a parallel world.

ps. This project might turn into a short story with a few videos to go along with it, instead of being just a film.

[Peter Thomas]

ps. This project might turn into a short story with a few videos to go along with it, instead of being just a film.

You will hear no complaints from me