Some lyrics

[PsychicHeart]

Hey there AGS people, how've you all been?
The lyrics below are products of my insomnia.
Will hopefully end up lyrics for songs in my indie folk band.
Comments and critiques would be lovely.
Thanks, Blake.

Untitled #1 (Clever title, am I right?)

There's a light in the carriage
Next door to the ivory house
With a lady who comes out at night
She stumbles and falls into the grass
That is glowing a peculiar red
And I sat in the fields
Playing sad, lonely chords
And she walked up to me with a spark in her eye
Singing songs of old mariners,
swallowed whole by the tide.

And hopefully I'll never be
Lonely again
And hopefully I'll never be
Lonely again

The sun is exploding
Hindsight is just loathing
Wrapped up in a sepia thread
And the pitch-black words
In your light-coloured letters
Your language elegant yet dark
Your mind is a machine,
with spiralling plates
The antichrist lives below me
A few floors
A screaming maid locked behind
a cellar door

And hopefully she'll never be
Worried again
And hopefully she'll never be
Worried again

Untitled #2 (even cleverererer)

Little blue flowers all dying inside of your heart
Cardboard cut-out images of the sun
I'm drowning in the lake outside your home
Little wooden caskets in a deserted field
Falling apart at the seams
The souls that escaped are now trapped in an eternal dream

You are lying awake late at night
Your hand on my chest, but it feels like a knife
My eyes are closed your eyes are wide open

Little old trees by the snow-covered mountains
Decaying all day until one day they're gone
And all we are left with is the ever-present dawn
Little white lies told in secret to lovers
Hanging on to every monotonous word
Until they realise that the concept of love is absurd

Your are lying awake late at night
Your hands over my eyes, for it is too bright
Until we awake we are no more than lifeless cadavers,
Slowly dying alone

[Jim Reed]

There's a light / in the carriage
Next door / to the ivory house
With a lady coming / out at night
Stumblin' and fallin' / into the grass

While I sat / in the fields
Playing sad / lonely chords
She walked / up to me
With a spark / in her eye

Singing old / sailor songs
Enchanted / by the tide
They were left out / for the sea
to swallow / them all

And hopefully I'll never be
Lonely again
And hopefully I'll never be
Lonely again

The sun  / is exploding
Hindsight, / is just loathing
Wrapped up / in a thread
And the pitch- / black words

In your light- / coloured letters
Your language / elegant 'n' dark
Your mind / is a machine,
Spiralling / too far

The antichrist / lives below
Just a few / floors
A screaming maid / locked behind
a forgoten / cellar door

And hopefully she'll never be
Worried again
And hopefully she'll never be
Worried again


It's hard for me to get your "flow" of the words without hearing you preform the song, but anyway, I'd probably sing it this way.

I just tried to get the timing right between the words, but it's hard to describe what is "right" to me. You seem to change the "flow" a bit sometimes, and I think you probably sing some lines in different ways than others.

I played around with the words, maybe you'll like it, maybe you not.

Criticising words is alot harder than criticising graphics I just realised. =)

[Phemar]

I think the first one is one of your best works yet. I really like it.