MIDI Critique please (at bottom b/c reusing thread)

[Fronzel]

Thoughts? I fixed some angles and such, but I can't figure out how to make the flowers in the foreground be more obviously in the foreground.


Edit: Here is a midi, what do ya'll think? http://www.freewebs.com/fronzel/midipage.htm

also, I will get around to fixing the double pixels, theres quite a few from the darn pen tool.

[James Kay]

I like it.

There is still a little bit of dirt around the edges, most notably some greyness on the black lines on the left (our left) of the building, but it's fairly minimal.

The flowers look fine, though it helps if they overlap stuff. E.g. the flower on the right should be a little higher so it overlaps part of the rock behind it. That way it is more obviously foreground stuff. There is nothing really on the bottom left to overlap, but maybe you can add one more flower that slightly overlaps the building. Just a thought.

[Domino]

Great looking background, but i just don't seem to care for the black outlines in the clouds.

I'd like to see an updated pic with no cloud outlines, just to compare.

But otherwise, very nice.

[Fronzel]

That looks a lot better....

although now the sky looks a tad too light.
James Kay: Like so, with the leaf in the right overlapping the rock?

[Domino]

I think the sky is perfect now.Ã,  It does look much better.

I seem to have a really hard time drawing when it comes to doing skies.

But your's looks good.

[Nacho]

And of course, have you thought in removing all the double pixels? It should be a great improvement...

[Ashen]

On the front left (as you look at it) of the yellow part, the outline looks like it overshoots into the sky.
Maybe if you blurred the lines of the flowers a little, it would make them look closer? Then again I don't know how well that would fit with the style.

[Fronzel]

Thanks for your help guys!
I will get around to fixing the double pixels, there are just quite a few right now, so it may take a little hunting.


In the mean time, what do ya'll think of this midi?
dangit, can't make my link work,
umm, setting it as the background music for a blank page on my site, just go here....
http://www.freewebs.com/fronzel/midipage.htm

[rtf]

I like the bass a lot.

I think that the horns can get a little repetitive.  You could fix it if you add, say, a piano solo here or there...

[Fronzel]

I'm not sure where to go with the horns, thats where I've gotten a little stuck.  I spent quite a bit of time on the bass, but it needed something to accent it.  I am finding that there is only a small range for the horns to work in that I don't find to be ear shredding.  Hmmm.  I'll see what I can do, I just don't want the horns doing too much melody, because the bass is handling that for the most part.

[Peter Thomas]

don't give horns the melody on midi ever!

in real life, they sound fantabulous, but on midi - as you say - they are ear-shredding. I find anything above middle-F to be bordering on painful. I think a few groovy piano dooba-dee-doos would work nicely. or a dooba-dee-daa if you get stuck.

[Fronzel]

Heheh, allright, I'll try that.