watership bg, c&c

[BlackMan890]

Hi guys
FINALLY i have finished this, this took me like hours anyway here it is:


this is the deck in my game, it obiviosly needs a door, i still have proplem with the ship, wall, i can't make it look like a ship because the wall is plain, no pattern, the floor is suposed to be out of wood, i will add some nails after and maybe finish the wood in the right part
please tell me what you think

ps maybe i did put to much stars :

[Al_Ninio]

I think you went a little overboard (omgwtf pun!) with the stars, blackman...
Also, why didn't you just update your old thread?

[BlackMan890]

well it got to many rewiews(i think) so i started a new one
sorry guys but i will no longer create a new topic if it bothers you

[Darth Mandarb]

Updating your old post, since the two pieces are so related, is suggested.Ã,  However, if it's a totally unrelated art subject, starting a new thread is okay.Ã,  You probably should have added this to the mix of the other thread, but don't worry about it now

I actually don't mind the ammount of stars.Ã,  It's that they're all the same color that bugs me.Ã,  I would suggest darking the sky color and altering the stars.Ã,  Make some brighter, some dimmer, etc.

If that's a drop-off (on the bottom of the image) I would suggest putting in some type of railing (for safety's sake!)

The portholes look off perspective.

I would also suggest adding some details to the grey walls.Ã,  Rivets, scratches, dirt, panel lines, etc.

Off to a good start and a big improvement from just a few weeks ago!Ã,  Keep it up!

[Andail]

This has nothing to do with the thread, but you might want to know that mouse in plural is "mice", for that little signature thingie of yours.

Regarding the picture...
1. it's quite out of perspective. It looks like you have drawn most lines without any real plan...
You need to take a good look at some perspective rules tutorials.

2. If you want the floor to be of wood, make the boards longer and not so symetrical...now it looks like a brick-wall.

3. The shading is quite incoherent as well. Try to determine where the light source is, and shade surfaces in accordance to that.

You probably need to take some more time and look over your pictures before you publish them here. Get back to them after some days and see if you can improve them by yourself first.

[BOYD1981]

This has nothing to do with the thread, but you might want to know that mouse in plural is "mice", for that little signature thingie of yours.

this has nothing to do with the thread either, but you might want to know that there are to Ms in "symmetrical", for that little post thingie of yours.

on topic: when i first saw the picture i thought those were actually snow drops and not stars...

[Darth Mandarb]

This has nothing to do with this thread either, but Boyd:

this has nothing to do with the thread either, but you might want to know that there are to Ms in "symmetrical", for that little post thingie of yours.

The number 2 is spelled 'two'

This is fun!!!Ã,  Now somebody pick me apart

And yes, now that you mention it, they do resemble snow flakes rather than stars.

[Albert Cuandero]

I think you forgot to apply the same perspective to the roof, as you did to the floor - just connect the lines to same distance points and you will see great improvement.

also draw a line in correct perspective to determine where the poles on the left side connect to the floor.

add maybe (except for a reiling and stuff DM mentioned) a rescue ring (or whatever the orange and white hula-hoops are called, I actually have never been on a real ship, just seen them in the harbor)

Also a big ship would have its name written on such an elevated point.

Aparently I am the only one who does not know - what are the yellow balls?

concerning stars - depending on the mood and setting of your game, I think this could be just the right stage for an humorously-overdone first-kiss-scene (add chello music and rose pettals carried in the warm breeze)

^/topic

This is fun!!!Ã,  Now somebody pick me apart

Adding more than one exclamation sign is not only unnecessary but also makes reading hard (was that right, am I in the game? - who's next on the hot seat?) [/sup]

[Alun]

^{(was that right, am I in the game? - who's next on the hot seat?)}

Well, if you insist...  "railing" should have an A, "apparently" should have two Ps, "cello" shouldn't have an H, and "petals" should have only one T.  Also, technically, there shouldn't be a comma after "roof", and I'm not even going to get started on your capitalization... 

And now back on topic...  Blackman, I second Andail's suggestion that you find some good perspective tutorials.  It's a good try, but it doesn't look like you have a clear idea of how perspective really works.  Do you know what "two-point perspective" is?  Do you know the method for drawing regularly-spaced things like telephone poles (or those metal beams in your picture) so they look like they're regularly spaced even if they're not parallel to the field of view?  If you don't (and from this picture it looks like you don't), you should.

A quick web search turned up the following sites that may help you:

• This page gives a brief overview of one- and two-point perspective
• This seems to be a slightly more advanced site that even includes three-point perspective (although that's something you probably don't need to worry about just yet... certainly not until you've got two-point perspective down).
• This page gives a fairly thorough overview, though it's kind of densely presented and may be a bit hard for someone new to the concepts to follow.
• This page is actually nominally about geometry, but it's the only one I could find in my quick search that graphically shows the telephone-pole perspective method (scroll to about 4/5 of the way down the page).

You could probably find more such pages in a search of your own, or, better yet, find a good book on perspective in your local library.

Anyway, I don't mean to be too critical; it's a good try, and you obviously did put quite a bit of effort into it.  But you really do need a better understanding of the fundamentals of perspective.  Do some reading on perspective techniques, and then see what that does for your drawing skills.

[Raider]

hmm, I'm not going to get involved in this little domestic thing.
To make it look more like a ship put port holes on the wall of the ship in the bottom right corner.

- Raider

[BlackMan890]

concerning stars - depending on the mood and setting of your game, I think this could be just the right stage for an humorously-overdone first-kiss-scene (add chello music and rose pettals carried in the warm breeze)

hahaha good one, but seriosly i think i did put too much work on the stars, i better few them

also about the pespective see this:

the cross on each side are suposed to be the vanishing points, i did the wood, rail, floor, roof, almost everything by this

[Andail]

yet several lines are not drawn toward these vanishing points.

Furthermore, the perspective is too steep now, you should have drawn them much further apart. You're on the right track, though.

[Darth Mandarb]

I'm in a terrible rush ... so without much explanation:



Hope it helps.

[BlackMan890]

thanks Darth Mandarb
i will start editing my picture after this

[Isegrim]

Another thing regarding perspective:

the portholes should appear elliptically distorted instead of circular and they should become smaller with the distance...

[BlackMan890]

these dots are suposed to be bolts

[Isegrim]

Sorry, but what I said also applies to bolts, I guess...
But aren't they a bit big for bolts? I guess even ships don't feature bolts that are thicker than 20-30mm (ca. 8-12")

jrl2222 is right, I guess. I didn't notice the bolts at first glance and was of course referring to the windows (they are called "portholes" when talking about ships, just in case you're, like me, not a native speaker...)

[jrl2222]

I think blackman is meaning the black dots along the bottom of the image.
And I believe you were refering to the round yellow windows.

[BlackMan890]

sorry, got mixed up

[Raider]

Darth are you sure about that perspective, it looks very long to be a ship, although that might be part of the story.
(I didn't mean to insult the art master)


- Raider