Adventure Game Studio

Creative Production => Critics' Lounge => Topic started by: matt on Sat 26/07/2008 14:55:55

Title: what do you think of my story?
Post by: matt on Sat 26/07/2008 14:55:55
It is a story of a terrorist who, on his first mission that just cant kill the people in the stadium he was in. He has seen videos before and it looked so easy, but he just couldn't. During his training he had become a black belt in the martial art nijitsu. He had also learnt how to control a helicopter and a tank. He was also trained with many ranged weapons. He left the mountain top training camp  to become a counter terrorist using all his knowledge against them. Ten years later the terrorists found him and exposed him as an x terrorist. He lost everything and now he had no protection against the terrorists who were after him. he was on the run and had nowhere to hide.
Title: Re: what do you think of my story?
Post by: S on Sat 26/07/2008 15:10:48
I find it a little confusing. Sounds like it could turn into something interesting - depending on what you do with it. It could turn into an intellingent and important tale about politics, guilt, right and wrong, terrorism and the state of the world. Or it could simply turn into a Jean-Claude Van Damme-style stoopid revenge/action story.

Your grammar needs some work, too.
Title: Re: what do you think of my story?
Post by: Questionable on Sat 26/07/2008 15:12:01
Wow... uh- I was going to type something but then I saw S's (lol) response. Spot on.
Title: Re: what do you think of my story?
Post by: Tuomas on Sat 26/07/2008 15:16:35
Haha, yeah, must say I also thought of the Van Damme style at first :)
Title: Re: what do you think of my story?
Post by: Babar on Sat 26/07/2008 17:05:25
I insist you turn it into a Jean-Claude Van Damme-style stoopid revenge/action story. But all your cutscenes must be 'cinematic'. And the hero must only be found out when he is caught by his former best friend while in an underground kick-boxing competition. And when he is about to get shot, his friends starts crying so the hero kills him. And in the end, the main supervillian must turn out to be the Boss of the Counter-Terrorism unit the hero is working in.

I urge you to read-up on some Metal Slug Fan-Fiction.
Title: Re: what do you think of my story?
Post by: Shane 'ProgZmax' Stevens on Sat 26/07/2008 21:21:09
It would definitely make a playable game if handled properly.  I'd pick Michael Dudikoff (American Ninja) to star over Jean-Claude any day, though. 

Or shake it up and make the protagonist a Cynthia Rothrock copy:

YAY!
(http://www.cynthiarothrock.org/professional/Cyn_kick2A.jpg)
Title: What do you think of the name?
Post by: matt on Mon 28/07/2008 07:24:31
 :oDo you think this name matches the story? A double edged sword :o
if you havn't read the story in my last post then here it is: It is a story of a terrorist who, on his first mission that just cant kill the people in the stadium he was in. He has seen videos before and it looked so easy, but he just couldn't. During his training he had become a black belt in the martial art nijitsu. He had also learnt how to control a helicopter and a tank. He was also trained with many ranged weapons. He left the mountain top training camp  to become a counter terrorist using all his knowledge against them. Ten years later the terrorists found him and exposed him as an x terrorist. He lost everything and now he had no protection against the terrorists who were after him. he was on the run and had nowhere to hide.




There was no reason to make a separate topic for this, so I merged it.
-ProgZ
Title: Re: what do you think of my story?
Post by: Akatosh on Mon 28/07/2008 11:25:57
If you go for the cliché-riddled, accidently hilarious and totally exaggerated OMG REVENGE approach, it's fine. If you want to keep the slightest hint of seriousness... nope.

Which is to say, it's fine.
Title: Re: what do you think of my story?
Post by: Stupot on Mon 28/07/2008 15:41:35
I like the sound of this story, but it would be difficult to pull off empathy for a terrorist... even if he doesn't go through with the act...
but what about a man who has been working undercover with the terrorist organisation?  He is chosen to be the 'Martyr' for the next mission and he has to try to avoid doing it without them finding out he is undercover.

Do you watch 'Lost'?  Sayid was blackmailed into infiltrating a terrorist cell.  His friend 'Essam', who was a genuine member of the group, began to have doubts about his forthcoming suicide mission... but instead of pulling out and going on the run, he shot himself in the head.

I'm not sure what point I'm making, but it might be something to mull over.
Title: Re: what do you think of my story?
Post by: matt on Tue 29/07/2008 07:41:59
it going to be a 3d shoot them up crossed with an rpg.
Title: Re: what do you think of my story?
Post by: matt on Tue 29/07/2008 07:42:26
first person
Title: Re: what do you think of my story?
Post by: Gilbert on Tue 29/07/2008 08:05:23
As it's a FPS, what did you actually mean by RPG? :=

Sorry, can't help there, but you can edit your posts instead of double posting.
Title: Re: what do you think of my story?
Post by: cat on Tue 29/07/2008 09:35:57
FPS in AGS? Has this ever be done before?
Title: Re: what do you think of my story?
Post by: matt on Tue 29/07/2008 09:45:42
i don't know or care but i am with a lot of the dyanmic sprite and raw print functions. if you want to help i would be happy to let you . just pm me. ;D
Title: Re: what do you think of my story?
Post by: Buckethead on Tue 29/07/2008 10:00:27
Quote from: cat on Tue 29/07/2008 09:35:57
FPS in AGS? Has this ever be done before?

Yes, SHH's snakes on a plane.  ;) :P
Title: Re: what do you think of my story?
Post by: matt on Wed 30/07/2008 12:36:51
thanks for all the help ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D