young witch

[jaz]

Hi,

It's been quite a long time since I posted anything so here goes one little piece. It's a splash screen for a mobile game.



It's not finished yet thus the text as it is now is quite rough, the same goes for cloak.


Anyway, what do you think about it?

[Corey]

hmmm maybe put the cloak closer to her body, just looks a bit weird this way. Besides that a very nice image 

[Mozesh]

Looks really nice, though her hair suggests she's moving backwards and the cloak suggests going forwards.

[DonB]

Looking pro! i have no bad comments really.. nice for on your mobile phone..

[Kinoko]

I don't like the Triz text. The T and Z are on different levels but the R and I are together which makes it look odd.

Otherwise, looks really good! Good luck!

[big brother]

Some ideas:

To make this more feasible for a cell phone game:
-Reduce the color count in the background
-Cut up the background into several tilable squares (each can be flipped x/y and rotate 90d). This will free up a lot of memory without really detracting from the quality of the background.

To improve the artistic quality:

-Play with the shapes (especially the tangents) of the overall composition. Notice the points at which the witch intersects the curve of the moon. This can be made much more interesting to look at. Right now, the colors and shapes don't really match the image the theme evokes. Also, for a character in front of the full moon, she looks suspiciously like she's under flood lighting. This is a very mysterious and exciting subject that's made banal by the execution. If it's supposed to be cutesy, I'd suggest employing a more SD style.

-Tone down the saturation of the background to make the title text stand out more.

-Make the letter placement/font more uniform for clarity. I always hate it how games are designed for the largest cell phone screen and shrunk down for the ports. This makes no logical sense from a design aspect (only for lazy artists). While it may be readable here, it certainly won't on a phone with a smaller display.

-Tighten up the witch's proportions. Exaggerate the curves to get a more dynamic pose. I'm not sure about the way you truncated her feet and the broom. Remember, the phone's limited memory rarely allows for fullscreen opportunities like this one, so make the best of it and showcase your talent!

-Work on details: Her eyes look odd without the whites. Her hands aren't really gripping the broomstick. I could write more here, but I think working on the overall concept would help the details to fall in place.

[Igor]

Nice!
Must say i'm not crazy about anime/manga style, but this one looks good.
As big brother said, try to make her pose a bit more dynamic. Also i don't like how you cut off her feet and broom. It looks like a lack of composition planning.
Other than that.. two thumbs up