???
It was about a year ago when Sarah approached me at the spring festival my local college hosts, she was one of those skinny girls who hangs out at the local skate park showing off moves getting bruises and excetra. Which is why I thought it was a prank when she asked me out... however at the time she was serious.
Fast-forward over a year ahead and we have been dating in a serious relationship, this year she took a quarter off of college and vacationed with her family in Florida, during the past few weeks she stopped calling me every night.
I was very excited when she finally arrived home, I wanted impatiently until she drove up the drive way to my place and got out, she was cross, angry, she said she didn't know me, she never loved me, and she demanded that I return ever single gift she ever gave me over the time we were together.
Now I don't have everything she ever gave me theres a few things back at my parents house, I think, and some others got lost in the move, including a horrid t-shirt she thought looked good on me.. but now she wants it all back for........Zack from flordia.
I cant give what I don't have, therefore, she is reporting me to the police.. :-S
So I ask... what should I expect? It all seems a bit far fetched to me. Has anyone experienced this? what questions are they going to ask me?? how should I prepare??
Police are never going to take her seriously, I wouldn't worry about that at all. But if they actually turn up at your doorstep you should tell them axactly what you've just written. They'll understand. No one ever got arrested for a gifted t-shirt!
Shame about the relationship, though...
I'd try to find out if that Zack isn't just a lame excuse and the real reason for this odd behavior isn't something completely different. Remember that girls often say one thing but mean something else.... They just seem to think it's better to solve problems this way. To me it sounds like she blames you for something she think you have done. Maybe someone told her some lies about you?... There must be another reason for this anger....
1. if she's acting like this, and I don't want to sound cruel, but in the long run you're better off. Unless you did something, like cheated, there's no call for this reaction from an average sane person, doesn't matter if she got a new romance or anything else
2. if it's a gift from long ago, no take backsies, is she going to tell the police that some months ago you made her buy you a shirt or something?
3. you should maybe be a tad bit worried about her starting to act stalkish, keying your car etc., so don't go into arguments, if there's stuff like cds that you borrowed/took to listen to, then return those just to ease the tension
Quote from: Erenoth02 on Tue 31/05/2011 00:31:03
she demanded that I return ever single gift she ever gave me over the time we were together.
She needs to look up the definition of "gift" in the dictionary. If she had wanted to
lease you those things instead, she should have made you sign for them in advance to have any legal standing.
Sorry to hear that. A black man once told me (seriously) "No matter how much you love her, she'll always be a bitch."
Case in point - ignore her. Sorry it's gone sour, but she's just being bitter. Things don't look good - so don't be all soppy and expect things to get right again, tell her to go to hell, and that you burnt all her remaining gifts last night. There is absolutely nothing the police can or will do about it. When you get threatened by a woman, you have to remember, in most instances, they're just spouting out crap from their head, they haven't thought it through.
Tough as it may be she's trying to make a hard time on you even harder.
Whatever she "gave" you - like Radiant states - is now yours, and if anything, you'll have a stronger case for the authorities if she tries to get any of it back. In effect, she's trying to steal your possessions, only she's a woman, who as I said more often than not don't think things through - so stupidly she's asking first. Tell her where to stick it, and find yourself a nice new partner. Good luck!
Quote from: Mods on Tue 31/05/2011 01:42:29
When you get threatened by a woman, you have to remember, in most instances, they're just spouting out crap from their head, they haven't thought it through.
Quote
In effect, she's trying to steal your possessions, only she's a woman, who as I said more often than not don't think things through - so stupidly she's asking first.
Wayda be a modern man there Mods. I assume you have just arrived from the 1950s.
First off, girl's are a dime a dozen, this just might be the best thing that ever happened to you, act like it aint no thing, on to the next. Consider it a notch in your belt.
If the stuff don't mean anything to you, give it back, once again act like it don't bother you. The more you show a girl that it don't bother you the more it bother's them.
If you love something, set it free, if it comes back to you, it's your's forever.
Good luck to Zack, gonna be kind of hard getting any from Florida.
Has she even given you an explanation as to why she's angry with you?
Sounds like a severe case of PMT to me. Reminds me of one of them period dramas :-\
How well do you know her family? Maybe they can shed some light onto this mysterious Zack character. As far as I'm concerned he's welcome to her and you're better off without that kind of behaviour. But some answers would be nice, I'm sure.
Quote from: Calin Leafshade on Tue 31/05/2011 01:54:30
Wayda be a modern man there Mods. I assume you have just arrived from the 1950s.
You only get closure from good friends, so with the described behavior we can assume this woman isn't a very good friend, and no longer needs to be treated like one. I know too many women that use their gob and not their brain. Sorry if that's not the case for you and you know nothing but sterling, intelligent women who are happy to explain all of their emotions in a thought out manner to you ::)
Here's my piece of layman's psychology:
(You didn't ask why she behaves the way she does, so either you aren't telling us everything or you don't care but here goes.)
She cheated on you, she's feeling really guilty about it and now what she does is try to convince herself that somehow you deserved it. Thus she acts like you did to reinforce that belief/delusion. It's quite common unfortunately, especially with young (read: immature) people.
Since there are zero legal grounds for her demands, like the others said, don't worry about the police. I'm pretty sure it was an empty thread anyway.
Quote from: Khris on Tue 31/05/2011 03:24:51
Here's my piece of layman's psychology:
(You didn't ask why she behaves the way she does, so either you aren't telling us everything or you don't care but here goes.)
She cheated on you, she's feeling really guilty about it and now what she does is try to convince herself that somehow you deserved it. Thus she acts like you did to reinforce that belief/delusion. It's quite common unfortunately, especially with young (read: immature) people.
Since there are zero legal grounds for her demands, like the others said, don't worry about the police. I'm pretty sure it was an empty thread anyway.
I was unable to get any reason from her as to why she was so mad at me, when I asked her she implied that i was retarded, I didn't understand, she had told me that she never loved me. Trying to reason with her... apologize and asking what happened or what I did only made her even angrier at me so I let it go...
I didn't feel the need to post that..
I think its more of a, "I wasted almost two years on you and I want them back, since Zack is willing to move from Flordia"
Obviously Im not going to get back the things that she borrowed from me, so I might as well just give her everything that I can find and apologize for the missing things.
Her parents came by, her dad was nice and shook my hand but her mother insisted that I immediately relinquish everything, when I carefully tried to mention the things I left at her house her mother exploded, I apologized and told her I would scour my parents house for any gifts left there.
I'm sorry, but what exactly do they want back, I kind of doubt it's a shirt she gave you. Did she have her clothes at your place or what? Are you skipping something here?
And don't freakin' give away anything that's been branded a gift, everything else - let them give you a list of stuff they want, this is just stupid and really doesn't make sense. You can't know everything you exchanged over almsot 2 years. I forget where I parked my car the day before, damn if I remember what happened a year ago.
As was mentioned, act as calm as possible, even if you're mad.
I would go as far as not letting them into your house, her mother has no right yelling at you from now on, you said you are 28, she starts yelling - you slap her (just kidding, don't slap ;D ). And make your own list of stuff that might be at her place, if she threatens again with the police, tell them you'll go with your own list to the police. ;)
Btw you do seem to have strange problems, first false Lucas Arts threats, now this. ???
A lot of people get weird emails and most of them are smart enough to not reply to them or click on any links...
The Lucas Arts thing happened some time ago Ive been busy with college so I didnt worry over it after I thought it was taken care of.. The internet company Im with was very angry so without investigation I jumped into it, the guy who owns the company is a friend in the small town I live in we dont get much.
Perhaps I should have used more discretion in posting two issues at once but the girl problems happened over the weekend whilst the Steam problem was ongoing and since I had an extra long weekend for memorial day I decided to look further into my Steam issues.
I probably blew the girl thing out of proportions because at the time i was scared
QuoteObviously Im not going to get back the things that she borrowed from me, so I might as well just give her everything that I can find and apologize for the missing things.
Her parents came by, her dad was nice and shook my hand but her mother insisted that I immediately relinquish everything, when I carefully tried to mention the things I left at her house her mother exploded, I apologized and told her I would scour my parents house for any gifts left there.
Oh man, that's sad. You've been cheated on, possibly lied to and maybe even had your heart broken - and you're prepared to meet her demands? That's sad. Man up! := You seem susceptible to bullying, both by her and her mother. You should have broken contact days ago.
You do not owe anything to these people.
To quote The wedding singer:
"Give me back my Van Halen t-shirt before you jinx the band and they break up!"
Assuming you're "innocent" party in this story,
1) Tell her to gtfo and ignore any further communication. She will give you more and more temper due not having your attention, but if you hold your ground (not by arguing but being silent) and ignore her, she'll resign over some time. Say a single word, and you are back on square one. TEXTING INCLUDES COMMUNICATION, so don't ever respond, whatever insulting trash she might text
The probable reason for her "so mad" actions is to provocate you to yell and get angry. Why? Because she has bit of guilt for what she did and like any woman, she wants you to ease it by getting you to be a dick yourself so she could justify dumping you in her little, dumb head.
2) Forget about T-shirt, this is total BS
3) Live on.
Ignore the bitch, stop answering the phone or messages. They were gifts, they cannot be demanded back due to a change of heart, and even if she tells the police you stole them, she still needs to prove she owns them in the first place. Hard to do without receipts etc. ;)
You're not even who you said you are...
And you lied to me...
Maury show, no Jerry sprinnger...Oh! Judge Judy! Definitely. Or a councellor...or a knife.
Anyways, alot of people have already said it, but this girl is obviously mentally unbalanced and you're being a bit of a push-over (I'm being a little hypocritical, 'cause I am too a little). You owe her nothing and if she's making those demands you should be ready to do the same, then again it might seem a little childish.
An eye for an eye or be the bigger person, but don't let her or her mother push you around.
Quote from: Mods on Tue 31/05/2011 01:42:29
Sorry to hear that. A black man once told me (seriously) "No matter how much you love her, she'll always be a bitch."
Haha spot on!! Some girls are downright mad, the things they can do to fuck with your head!
That said, most men are womanisers.
Quote from: Mods on Tue 31/05/2011 01:42:29
Sorry to hear that. A black man once told me (seriously) "No matter how much you love her, she'll always be a bitch."
A black man once shouted at me whilst kicking the door open, "WHERE ALL THE BEER AT?!1!"
The above is a true story.
;D yep shes nuts, lol... so after classes I worked out for 3 hours at the gym, and then I hit up starbucks, as i was leaving someone called my name I didn't recognize her at first it appears she died her hair, I was pumped up from exercising, so when she asked if I had been I told her all about it.
She was very civil and... friendly, she said I looked really good and then zack came and sat down next to her she finished talking and then slightly rudely said goodbye hinting that she wanted me to leave but as I left she said, maybe ill see you later? I did not respond.
but it appears shes forgotten about the whole thing....
I once said "Women are like beer - you have to enjoy it while it lasts and after that you just have to go to the bar to get another one."
It's a sure bet she stopped calling every night because she met (copulated with) someone else. She is being nice now because the other guy doesn't see any point in talking on the phone when no booty is to be had and so told her to piss off, IMHO.
Quote from: RickJ on Wed 01/06/2011 06:15:11
I once said "Women are like beer - you have to enjoy it while it lasts and after that you just have to go to the bar to get another one."
Nice one, Rick! But at least beer is a lot less expensive, whereas, you can buy thirty of them and keep them in the fridge. Storing women in the fridge is probably frowned upon.
Quote from: Snake on Wed 01/06/2011 13:28:38
Nice one, Rick! But at least beer is a lot less expensive, whereas, you can buy thirty of them and keep them in the fridge. Storing women in the fridge is probably frowned upon.
And beer doesn't mind if you're also drinking a different brand ;)
Quote from: Snake on Wed 01/06/2011 13:28:38
Nice one, Rick! But at least beer is a lot less expensive, whereas, you can buy thirty of them and keep them in the fridge. Storing women in the fridge is probably frowned upon.
They probably wouldn't mind if you told them it'd keep them looking youger for a longer time.
QuoteNice one, Rick! But at least beer is a lot less expensive, ...
Depends on your taste. I prefer expensive beer and cheap women...
You guys are *terrible*.
Stop with the "most women are like this" bullshit.
Replace the word "women" in some of your posts with "black people" and see how they look.
Quote from: Calin Leafshade on Wed 01/06/2011 18:48:56
Replace the word "women" in some of your posts with "black people" and see how they look.
Quote
Storing black people in the fridge is probably frowned upon.
Ummmm....
yeah, I see what you mean.
I prefer cheap black people too....I mean, no matter what you pay, they're probably going to last just as long....
Women are great. They're warm. Their hair smells nice. I have no idea what they're thinking, which is awesome. What's not to like?
Huzzah for women! \o/
A pint of beer doesn't follow you around for weeks after you drink it.
Quote from: Calin Leafshade on Wed 01/06/2011 18:48:56
You guys are *terrible*.
Stop with the "most women are like this" bullshit.
Replace the word "women" in some of your posts with "black people" and see how they look.
BAWWW
A white knight appears!
> Attack > Flee
> Cast > Inventory
Quote from: Calin Leafshade on Wed 01/06/2011 18:48:56
BAWWW
A white knight appears!
> Attack > Flee
> Cast > Inventory
> Cast
> Cast >grow >balls
White knight now has balls.
White knight has vanished.
Party gains over 999 xp.
Really?
REALLY?
When did the forums become... *this*?
You mean filled almost exclusively with white males? I'm guessing since the Internet started.
I AGREE!
(with LimpingFish ^___^ )
Well, Nobel Prize winning author VS Naipaul has weighed in to this debate (http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2011/jun/02/vs-naipaul-jane-austen-women-writers), and his expansive Nobel Prize winning brain has determined that women are limited by their "sentimentality, the narrow view of the world". So that settles that once and for all, I guess.
Although now I think about it... I've never heard of VS Naipaul, but I have heard of Jane Austen, Emily Bronte, George Eliot, Mary Shelly and Virginia Wolf. And they seem a lot less like bigoted attention seekers.
Quote from: InCreator on Thu 02/06/2011 07:42:08
> Cast >grow >balls
White knight now has balls.
White knight has vanished.
Party gains over 999 xp.
Yes, because *REAL MEN* are assholes.
*INCREATOR SMASH*
To assume that anyone who defends women's rights is some how 'white knighting' is *even more* insulting that the stereotypical bullshit you were espousing earlier.
The white knight re-appears!
> Attack > Flee
> Cast > Inventory
> Inventory
PS: You've not heard of Naipaul? Anyhow, being an asshole doesn't make you a bad writer. In most cases it seems to help :D.
I prefer the oldies anyhow. Aristotle! St. Augustine! :=
Yay women! ;D
Quote
To assume that anyone who defends women's rights is some how 'white knighting' is *even more* insulting that the stereotypical bullshit you were espousing earlier.
Being insulted due some guy saying something on internet not about you is of course totally not white knighting.
I think that people who get insulted by all kinds of irrelevant shit are sissies and should grow balls. This is absolutely not tied to what the topic is, just in general, be it politics, religion or any other hot topic. If it's not your ballpark and you're treating "the victim(s)" as any of them ask for your fucking whiny help, well...
as for stereotyping, I don't truly see any laws against it. What are YOU afraid of? So what even if someone did the "black people" version? Did black people ask you to defend them? Are you black? Woman? Jew? Muslim? Bodyguard of God? <etc discussion victim here> Or whatever other example! Mind your own business.
I'm honestly sorry that you happened to be that guy
It was a joke.
Calling out fellow dudes because they have a chauvinistic opinion of women is fine. I do it all the time. It's not because I feel that I need to protect women, but because chauvinism, regardless of target, is behavior I feel the world in general could do without. I feel exactly the same about feminism, racism, or any form of supremacist leaning in general.
Most -ism's aren't much fun.
-asms, on the other hand, are awesome!
Eh, not worth forum drama anyway. Let's start annual politics & religion thread!
I can start with some highly politically incorrect claim
Quote from: LimpingFish on Thu 02/06/2011 17:44:11
Most -ism's aren't much fun.
-asms, on the other hand, are awesome!
\ :D/
It's just a bit of banter. Women moan and joke about men all the time, and it doesn't offend
us the males among us (does it? I hope not...). And besides, most of my female friends would probably laugh at some of the comments in this thread because they have a healthy sense of banter. They certainly wouldn't be offended and I'm pretty sure they wouldn't expect any males to be offended on their behalf.
Quote from: InCreator on Thu 02/06/2011 11:20:32
Quote
To assume that anyone who defends women's rights is some how 'white knighting' is *even more* insulting that the stereotypical bullshit you were espousing earlier.
Being insulted due some guy saying something on internet not about you is of course totally not white knighting.
I think that people who get insulted by all kinds of irrelevant shit are sissies and should grow balls. This is absolutely not tied to what the topic is, just in general, be it politics, religion or any other hot topic. If it's not your ballpark and you're treating "the victim(s)" as any of them ask for your fucking whiny help, well...
as for stereotyping, I don't truly see any laws against it. What are YOU afraid of? So what even if someone did the "black people" version? Did black people ask you to defend them? Are you black? Woman? Jew? Muslim? Bodyguard of God? <etc discussion victim here> Or whatever other example! Mind your own business.
I'm honestly sorry that you happened to be that guy
So when we see someone that gets treated bad, we should just turn to apathy? Is that how it should have worked so far?
We should start a general topic.
I'd like to point out (and not just as a response to you, Duals), nobody was actually being "treated bad" here. I can't speak for everyone in this thread, but I'm really pretty sure that when someone says that beer is better than women, they don't actually literally mean that women are inferior to a bottled beverage. It's a joke.
And yeah, some people might whine and moan about tasteless jokes, but...poo :P.
There really was no ideal of womaniness that was being attacked in here so that someone needed to come in and feel good about themselves by defending it.
Yeah....so anyhow.....
This is the story of a girl
Who cried a river and drowned the whole world
And while she looked so sad in photographs....
I absolutely love her, when she smiles
Bar brawl, 30 people vs Calin :=
CALIN! I choose you!
Use Hair Swish!
Iceygames I choose YOU!!
Use SPELL-ING!
I'm married, and I love my wife. I love women. They're awesome.
However, as a gender, they can sometimes be..... to put it professionally, Nuckin' Futs. Often they rule with impulse and emotion, and can make strange demands - like to give back any and all gifts given over a series of years.
You're completely entitled to tell her no, or if you're so inclined, utterly destroy the gifts, and return the rubble to her.
Now, don't let this one crazy girl turn you off to women. When you meet the right one, one's who's got JUST as much crazy as you do, it's magic and it's great. It's tricky, but they do come along.... often when you're not looking. I met my wife a few months after a horrible breakup with a girlfriend of two years. I was totally not looking, and not into love at all and it found me. So, it happens. Good luck.
Bt
Quote from: Dualnames on Sat 04/06/2011 01:10:43
Iceygames I choose YOU!!
Use SPELL-ING!
;D
And in one fell swoop of Calin's Hair Swish attack, Iceygames has fallen!
Seriously, Duals? You honestly thought your Icey's Spelling Attack was any match for my CalinLeafshade's?? NOBODY'S spelling is a threat to Calin's ability to correct it! HOOAH!
\\--EDIT--//
And also, I agree with Blackthorne. Don't be put off because of one wierd chick. There's a million more out there.
Quote from: Snake on Sat 04/06/2011 14:36:34
\\--EDIT--//
And also, I agree with Blackthorne. Don't be put off because of one wierd chick. There's a million more out there (to put you off).
Exactly! :D
Hello Erenoth02,
I'd like to return to the original thread and first of all let me say that I feel very sorry for you. It must have been a real hard shock, since I'm sure you cared a lot (still do?) about her.
Hmmm, what would be good, sensible advice...
The most important thing of all is that you need closure. You need to know FOR YOURSELF what your position is.
First of all, I would recommend you to decide, firmly, how you would like your relationship with her to be. There are two options: Either choose a clean break and never see her again, or try to get her back. I would avoid any middle ground. Really.
If you pick the first option, tell her personally. Be honest and direct. (Practice if you need to). No excuses, and no ifs and buts. She goes her way, you go yours. Say it’s for the best, and gently advise her against contacting you. Please understand that this doesn’t mean you don’t have to be civil if you see her at some social gathering. You should be. No need to be rude or cool. Just keep it professionally polite. Behave like she’s like no different from any other person there.
This is one way of having closure. The relationship has past, it’s closed off and you move on.
The second option is to get her back. This is, obviously, much harder and requires total commitment.
The first thing to do is find out what actually happened. What should you do? Talk with her father. Not only does he seem to be more reasonable, he’s a guy and it will be easier to communicate. He will know what’s going on, but will also see your position. Besides, if you want his daughter he has to know and respect you, right? So, have a man-to-man talk. Make clear she is worth fighting for and you intend to do just that. If he likes you, he will help you!
The second step is to talk to her. In a similar fashion as mentioned before. Tell her you want her, and you’ll fight to have her. Be honest and direct. (Practice if you need to). No excuses, and no ifs and buts.
If you know what happened, take action accordingly. Get rid of Zack. Meet with him and talk to him. Tell him to back off, because she’s your girl. You love her, and if he won’t listen, tell him the consequences of not listening. If he’s smart, he’ll cut his losses.
The great thing about the second option is that she (even if she won’t admit it) will be totally admiring you. In a relationship, women look first of all for a man who will be a good provider and who will be able to protect the family. It’s an evolutionary fact. You don’t have to be very handsome to get the girls, you just have to be confident and show it. A woman needs to know, really KNOW, she can trust you. Trust you to take care of her, the relationship and the family.
And this leads me to my last paragraph. Please understand that what I’m about to say is meant with the utmost gentleness and genuine desire to help you.
Erenoth02, you need to stand up for yourself.
I’m sure you’re an incredibly nice person, undoubtedly intelligent, creative, very likely good-looking and physically fit.
Nevertheless.... you let others walk all over you, and you APOLOGIZE to them for doing so. I can’t say how your relationship was with her, but this behaviour could not have helped you.
In this situation, and others in the future, it will be a credit to you to stand your ground and keep things clear.
Anyway, I hope things will work out for you, no matter what you decide to do.
While I do have the means to stand my ground and stand up for myself, It seems that this area of washington state is overly favorable towards women, I have seen a lot of my friends and other guys spend time in jail because they stood up for themselves and refused to apologize for things that were not their fault.
My own father even warns me against it, which I cannot blame him for, he saw one of his own employees put into jail because he refused to admit that he threw his own daughter to the floor, he was always the nicest guy however he was firm and refused to apologize for things that were not his fault, when it happened his daughter was climbing on him trying to get a piggy back (his wife was also an employee of my father) he told his daughter firmly to get down since he was working and she fell, while he tried to catch her to onlookers it did look like he threw her.
His wife took his side until another female employee meddled and called the police, the police believed her and eventually his wife was convinced... shes remarried now, hes in jail, and I often awkwardly run into her at the athletic gym in town but we both ignore each other.
While I may be completely wrong, I admit I am inexperienced, I also may not know the full stories of the other people Ive seen screwed over by the police for dating the wrong girl. With the current trend of police tending to strongly favor women Ive been overly cautious and apologetic.
Have sex with her sister.
We need a 'like' button, haha.