Residential Green hasn't updated in ages! OMG NO! But what's this?
TO THE REEEEEEESCUE
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If games like A Mind Forever Voyaging and Starship Titanic are the hefty literary classics of the Interactive Fiction genre, the ADVENTURES OF ANGELO DEADHAND are the shlock you buy in airport terminals to while away the time on your transatlantic flights. Critics called them trash designed for the lowest common denominator. Average people thought they were the best. Eighteen Angelo Deadhand games were released in all, with a further twenty-two planned, before the series' reclusive creator vanished under mysterious circumstances. Angelo Deadhand was forgotten in 1993, along with the entire genre of interactive fiction.
This is the seventh adventure, taking place immediately after ANGELO DEADHAND AND THE LUNAR CAPER. Angelo's experiences on the moon have left him scarred, but he's already back on the case.
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ANGELO DEADHAND AND THE CASE OF THE GRIMACING WEASAL
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NEW, LOAD, or QUIT?
> new
You are ANGELO DEADHAND, crack investigator for the Future City Secret Police. You woke up this evening to the shrill sound of your phone ringing. Two hours later, you boarded a shuttle for the ritzy Upper City, a page of secret orders clutched in your hand. The shuttle touched down at its destination and you stepped out onto the landing pad into the bustling sounds of the big city.
You are on the LANDING PAD. In front of you are the glitzy main doors of the MAGICAL WONDERS CASINO AND HOTEL. In your left hand is the CRUMPLED NOTE.
>
> unfold note
Unfolded.
> read secret orders
Command not recognized.
> read note
"For the eyes ANGELO DEADHAND only!
Listen, Angelo, we could be up against something BIG here. There's a ring of dangerous weapon smugglers we've been trying to bust for months. There may be other shady business involved. Nobody's sure, but it's time to take action. We think the ringleader is a man called BLONDE JACK, a foreigner currently staying in the penthouse suite of the MAGICAL WONDERS HOTEL. Sources say he's out on the town tonight. We've provided you with a FAKE I.D. CARD. Should be a simple job: Get into his apartment, steal as much evidence as you can, and slide out without a trace! Good luck and DESTROY THIS MESSAGE IMMEDIATELY!!!!
ORDERS DIRECTLY FROM
CAPTAIN PAISLEY, FUTURE CITY SECRET POLICE"
> eat note
Quote from: LeKhris on Thu 27/10/2011 23:20:04
> eat note
>Regurgitate note and attempt to decipher secret message revealed by saliva.
> eat note
In the interests of secrecy, you immediately ingest the note. Things like this are always harder going in than coming out.
> regurgitate note
The moment you finish your last swallow, you wonder if Captain Paisley left you a secret message decipherable only via dunking in a solution of human saliva, like that one time in the Salt Mines of the Screaming Desert. You hastily induce vomiting and throw up all the little paper chunks. It may not be too late!
> attempt to decipher secret message revealed by saliva
Sadly, the slimy paper chunks are no longer legible. You keep them in a small plastic bag, just in case.
> enter hotel
You are in the LOBBY, a lushly carpeted sanctuary decked out in polished cedar and resplendent with tapestries. Clearly this is not a place for cheapskates.
The pretty RECEPTIONIST smiles at you over her newspaper.
To the west is the CASINO FLOOR. To the east are the ELEVATORS.
>Examine tapestries
>Examine receptionist
>Ask receptionist if she's seen anyone or anything strange at the hotel recently
>Make note to ask receptionist for a date once all this is over
>Reminisce about Salt Mines of the Screaming Desert
> examine tapestries
After several minutes of careful study, you conclude that they are indeed tapestries.
You don't know much about art.
> Examine receptionist
A woman of twenty to twenty-five, strawberry blond hair, expertly applied makeup, purple nail polish slightly chipped on left thumb, wearing a white sweater and what look like pearl earrings.
> Ask receptionist if she's seen anyone or anything strange at the hotel recently
It's time to do what you do best - make conversation.
You sidle up to the desk and give the receptionist a friendly nod. "Evening."
"Evening, sir," she says politely. "Can I help you?"
"I'd just like to know if you've seen anyone or anything strange in the hotel recently."
She squints at you. "I don't think so," she says. "What, are you with the press or something?"
> Make note to ask receptionist for a date once all this is over
"One sec," you say, pulling out your notepad and hastily scribbling a reminder: Ask receptionist for date when all this is over!
> Reminisce about Salt Mines of the Screaming Desert
Ah, the Salt Mines of the Screaming Desert! The part you remember best is when you were trapped at the bottom of the mine shaft as it slowly filled with water, trying to wake up your partner Jimmy Waterloo, who was sleeping off a hangover thirty feet above you.
Good times. Sadly, you and Jimmy are no longer partners.
> Examine fake ID
> Show fake ID to receptionist
> Lie
> Examine fake ID
On the front is a picture of you. The card claims that your name is "Blonde Jack," and that you have full access to the Magical Wonders Casino and Hotel Penthouse.
On the back is a sticky note reading: "ANGELO! This ID card should get you into the penthouse. IT WILL NOT HOLD UP UNDER CLOSE SCRUTINY! BE CAREFUL! DESTROY THIS"
At that point it seems the writer ran out of space on the note.
> Show fake ID to receptionist
The receptionist is staring at you with one eyebrow slightly raised.
"Ah," you say, "right. No, I'm not from the press." You wave the card in her face.
"Oh," she says, "so you're the guy in the penthouse suite." She nods knowingly.
> Lie
"Yes," you assert. "My name is Blonde Jack."
> Ask receptionist: I seem to have misplaced my keycard. Can i have a new one?
> Go upstairs.
> Ask receptionist: I seem to have misplaced my keycard. Can i have a new one?
"Sure thing," she says, passing you a KEYCARD. You shove it into your pocket.
Smooth as ever, Angelo. ONWARD!
Go upstairs
You love to exercise, but the penthouse is approximately 50 floors straight up. This is probably a job for the ELEVATOR.
>Get in Elevator
>Travel to Penthouse
>Check for signs of forced entry into Penthouse before you got here
>Use Keycard to enter Penthouse
>Get in Elevator
Gotten. In.
>Travel to Penthouse
You scan the massive panel of buttons. At the very top is the button for the PENTHOUSE. You give it an experimental push. A red light comes on.
AUTHORIZE WITH KEYCARD, suggests the label of a blinking red light.
>Use Keycard to enter Penthouse
You slide the keycard into the slot. DING! The elevator glides away.
An interminably long time later, it grinds to a stop. DING! The doors slide open.
Curiously, it seems the elevator opens directly into the penthouse's main room.
You are in the PENTHOUSE ENTRANCE, where thick red carpets give way to rich redwood walls, hung with tasteful paintings. To the east, you can see an INDOOR SWIMMING POOL. To the north is the door to the BEDROOM. To the west is the BATHROOM, which from here looks larger than your entire apartment.
>Check for signs of forced entry into Penthouse before you got here
You quickly check the room. There are no signs that anyone has been here before you. In fact, everything is so immaculate, it seems unlikely that anyone is staying here at all.
>steal as much evidence as you can, and slide out without a trace!
(kidding)
But we can start of with:
> north
> examine bed. (im guessing there is one)
> north
You are in the BEDROOM. The first thing that catches your eye is the massive floor-to-ceiling window on the far wall, through which you can see the neon glow of the city by night. It's so awesome, you almost miss the king-size bed in the corner.
> examine bed
You straighten your collar and slick back your hair. THE SEARCH IS ON!
The bed is a standard king-size hotel bed. You pull back the sheets and flip over the pillows.
Underneath one of the pillows is a HANDHELD DATA DEVICE.
>quickly check the handheld data device for any dirty content and pocket it
>look under the bed
>jump on the bed for a bit
Also:
>Examine Swimming Pool
>Splash about
>Splash about more
This was fun! You should sooo do a real Inform IF out of this!
>quickly check the handheld data device for any dirty content and pocket it
You switch on the device. It seems to contain a number of archived communications from various cryptically named sources: "The Bleeding Basset", "The Splintered Gorilla", "The Lovely Parrot", "The Grimacing Weasel", "The Penniless Koala". You open a message at random. It reads:
"another flaw to correct meet at usual place tomorrow night only thirteen days left to wait"
Interesting. You drop the device into your pocket.
>look under the bed
You glance under the bed. No dead bodies, just some dust.
>jump on the bed for a bit
You bounce a few times, experimentally, and ascertain that the springs are sound.
That's what you were doing. Ascertaining that the bedsprings are sound.
Somebody has to do it.
>Examine Swimming Pool
Time to examine the swimming pool! Shame you didn't bring your swim trunks along. You turn to leave the bedroom.
In the other room, you hear the DING of the elevator door opening.
>duck and cover
>listen warily
>duck and cover
You dive silently behind the bed and hunker down facing the giant window.
>listen warily
You can hear faint footfalls in the other room, but the carpet seems to be absorbing most of the noise. It's hard to tell how many people are out there or where they're going.
>Sneak a peak and hope you don't regret it...
>Sneak a peak
You raise your head and peek over the bed. You sure hope you don't regret it!
Through the bedroom door, you catch a glimpse of a gentleman in a stylish black tuxedo. The elegant effect is ruined somewhat by the gas mask on his face and the silver-coloured pistol in his hand. Also, he seems to be coming into the bedroom.
You duck back down behind the bed. Impossible to tell if he noticed you.
>Crawl under bed and listen
>Check inventory for Weapons of Mass Destruction anything that might help you defend yourself
>Crawl under bed and listen
You roll under the bed. You can see the stranger's classy black shoes closing in on the bedroom door.
>Check inventory
You are carrying:
- suit (worn)
- emergency cufflink transponder
- collection of small plastic bags (for evidence!)
- plastic bag full of partially-digested paper chunks
- fake ID
- genuine ID
- keycard
- notepad
- pen
>Use Pen on Pad to make drawing of CLASSY BLACK SHOE
>Try to tie intruder's shoelaces together
>scratch your butt to stimulate thinking abilities
> Record badguy's conversation with transponder
>Use Pen on Pad to make drawing of CLASSY BLACK SHOE
You quickly throw together a classy drawing of a shoe. What an excellent use of time.
>Try to tie intruder's shoelaces together
For a moment this seems like the best plan ever. Then you realize that his shoes are of the comfortable slip-on variety. There are no laces to be tied together.
Crushing defeat.
>scratch your butt to stimulate thinking abilities
Your thinking abilities are heartily stimulated.
> Record badguy's conversation with transponder
You stare at your transponder. You're pretty sure there's a means of transmitting recorded messages with this thing, but you've never had a chance to read the manual. All you know is how to send an emergency SOS signal back to HQ.
As you fumble with the transponder, the stranger begins to speak, his voice eerily modulated by the gas mask.
"Hey," he says. "Would you mind coming out for a moment? We may be able to help each other."
>Consider how the drawing of the shoes may become vital in the future, in some intangible way
>Get out from under bed and talk to the stranger
>Don't die
>Consider how the drawing of the shoes may become vital in the future, in some intangible way
You see a future in which your shoe drawing is prized as a priceless piece of art, with prints displayed in galleries all over the world. Adoring critics write entire books digging into the history and meaning of the work, and the secrets of its enigmatic and incredibly attractive creator - an artist and a hero. Your eyes swell with tears of joy.
You wipe the tears away. Business time.
>Get out from under bed and talk to the stranger
You pop up from under the bed and wipe some dust off your shirt.
"Sorry about all that," you say. "I wasn't expecting visitors."
He shoots you in the chest.
>Don't die
Luckily the shock seems to have dulled the pain. Adrenaline floods your veins. You're not dead yet.
But you should probably seek medical attention as quickly as possible.
>Would now be a good time to use your emergency transponder?!
>punch the attacker in the dick
> Pull off the badguy's gas mask and hope he can't breathe without it.
>Would now be a good time to use your emergency transponder?!
The parser cannot comment on the advisability of a given action. It is an impartial observer. It interprets, and it acts.
>punch the attacker in the dick
You go for the dick. His next shot goes wide and hits the window, which splinters loudly but somehow holds together. You miss the dick, though. You never really learned to fight. Running is your preferred response.
Gas Mask lays you out with a solid punch in the neck. You land on the bed. There seems to be a lot of blood coming out of your torso.
This isn't going as smoothly as you'd hoped.
> Pull off the badguy's gas mask and hope he can't breathe without it.
It's desperate, but it just might work! You bounce up and go for the mask.
He shoots you again. Arm this time. You're starting to feel the pain now.
>Decry the limitations of the parser
>Decry the brutality of the game
>Decry the criminal element of society
>write "fuck you, man" with your blood on the nearest surface
>use your transponder to send a HALP!!!111 message
> Trick badguy into revealing his plans by appealing to his maniacal ego.
> cough blood in badguy's eyes or mask visor and when he goes to wipe it off stab him in the neck with the pen.
>Decry the limitations of the parser
GODDAMN PARSERS NO RESPECT I TELL YOU WHAT BACK IN MY DAY
>Decry the brutality of the game
At least it's not as bad as that one time in - actually yeah, this is pretty much the worst.
>Decry the criminal element of society
You could never do that! The criminal elements are why you have a job. Of course, they're also why you were just shot twice. You have to take the good with the bad.
>write "fuck you, man" with your blood on the nearest surface
Finding it difficult to speak, you decide to write a message in blood instead. That turns out to be more complicated than you expected. You settle for flipping him the bird.
>use your transponder to send a HALP!!!111 message
You hit the emergency button on your transponder.
Hopefully someone gets that.
> Trick badguy into revealing his plans by appealing to his maniacal ego.
"So," you cough. "I suppose you think you're pretty smart, setting all this up."
He shoots the window again. It explodes in a flurry of shattered glass. "Pleasure meeting you," he says, scooping up the data device from the floor. He jumps out the window. Apparently that's the end of that.
In fact, it seems to be the end of you too. Your vision is starting to swim. You see black spots. Then darkness.
..................
It's not easy being the Primary Emergency Responder for the Future City Secret Police. In fact, it's probably the hardest, most dangerous job there is. At least, that's what you tell women at the bar every night, usually minutes before sliding into a drunken stupor. You are JIMMY WATERLOO, and there is one hour left in your late night shift. You're counting the minutes.
You are in your OFFICE, sitting at your DESK in front of your COMPUTER TERMINAL. There is a NEW DOCUMENT open, in which you have typed: Official Report - Captain Paisley. You've been staring blankly at the screen ever since.
>
> inventory
> look self
> look OFFICE
> look desk
> look COMPUTER
>Check for incoming Emergency Signals 8)
> inventory
You are carrying:
- police uniform (worn)
- police station master key
> look self
You are roguishly good looking.
> look OFFICE
Most of the room is filled up with the EMERGENCY RESPONSE PANEL, which tracks agents in the field in real time and allows you to instantly assess when one is in danger. There's also your DESK, and the COMFY SWIVEL CHAIR in which you are reclining. The exit is to the NORTH.
> look desk
On your desk is a pile of PAPERWORK (which you have been persistently ignoring), a BOTTLE OF PEPSI (actually about 15% Pepsi and 85% vodka - so far, Captain Paisley hasn't noticed), your COMPUTER, a PHOTOGRAPH, a number of UNSHARPENED PENCILS, a vase of WILTED FLOWERS, a DESKTOP PHONE, and a GUN LOVERS MAGAZINE.
> look COMPUTER
It's pretty standard police stuff. Right now, you're supposed to be using it to compose your Official Report to Captain Paisley, explaining why last week's job ended in so many explosions. The truth is that's just how you roll. Concealing this truth from Paisley has become increasingly difficult.
>Check for incoming Emergency Signals
You have a look at the EMERGENCY RESPONSE PANEL. An Emergency would be a perfect excuse to avoid filling out any paperwork tonight! Sadly, you've never really learned how to read the panel. It's just a bunch of flashing lights as far as you're concerned.
Your DESK PHONE rings.
>Mutter in annoyed fashion
>Answer telephone
>Mutter in annoyed fashion
These people with their telephones, always trying to talk about things. It drives you crazy.
>Answer telephone
You scoop up the phone. "Yup."
"Waterloo. This is Captain Paisley."
Goddammit. "What a pleasure to hear from you, Captain," you say in the most respectful tone you can conjure up.
"Waterloo, we have a situation. You've probably noticed that an agent has activated his Emergency Signal."
You swivel around and look at the EMERGENCY RESPONSE BOARD. There are certainly some lights on there. "Right. Yes. Who did you say it was again?"
"It's Angelo Deadhand."
"...Oh."
"Listen up, Waterloo," Paisley snaps, "you are literally the only operative on duty tonight, so you're going to have to go out. It's a low risk operation, the idiot probably just stubbed his toe or something and wants a Band-Aid. Get in there, ensure that the area is secure, radio in a medical chopper if it's absolutely necessary. I've got a chopper waiting for you on the helipad. Suit up and get out there. And Waterloo!"
"Yes, Captain?"
"Do NOT use the Exoskeleton! This is a low-risk, LOW-PROFILE operation. The Standard Operating Suit will suffice. I'll say it one more time: NO EXOSKELETON! Is that clear?"
"Perfectly clear," you say, as sarcastically as possible. Paisley hangs up. You sigh dramatically.
>put on an exoskeleton
>wobble
>grab the essential items you take on every operation and some medical aid
>head to the helicopter
>put on an exoskeleton
I don't see an exoskeleton here.
>wobble
Hey, you're perfectly steady on your feet! Mostly. Maybe you waddle a little.
>grab the essential items you take on every operation and some medical aid
I don't see any essential items I take on every operation and some medical aid here! Wait, actually, there's the bottle of Pepsi-vodka.
You scoop it up.
>head to the helicopter
You head out the office door.
You are in the HALLWAY. To the south is your OFFICE. To the east is the ARMORY. To the north is the HELIPAD. To the west are the OTHER OFFICES that you don't care about and never visit.
>Goto Armory
>Find Exoskeleton
>Failing that, find Standard Operational Suit
> have a look around the armory
> look at each of the items in the armory
> think "My gut tells me that Angelo is in serious trouble! I better send a fully equipped medical chopper with a crack team of the finest doctors!"
>Goto Armory
You saunter into the ARMORY. Of all the rooms in the world, this is your second favourite.
>Find Exoskeleton
The Exoskeleton is in its usual place, propped up on a special stand and surrounded by high-security locks and safeguards.
It's so beautiful.
>Failing that, find Standard Operational Suit
The Standard Operational Suit is hanging on the wall. It is boring and lame. You can't stand to look at it for more than a few seconds.
> have a look around the armory
In one corner is the WEAPONS RACK, where you keep all your weapons. You've been accruing guns for years now, and you have quite a collection. You saunter up and fondly admire your favourites. There's the pair of 9mm automatic pistols you had custom-made by a gunsmith you discovered in a tiny shop in the Lower City. There's a 20-gauge semi-automatic shotgun that you painted with a fancy flame decal on a quiet day in the office. There's your trusty assault rifle with an underslung grenade launcher that you attached with duct tape. And your collection of sniper rifles, one for every day of the week, and two for Sundays. You have a lot of guns basically.
> think "My gut tells me that Angelo is in serious trouble! I better send a fully equipped medical chopper with a crack team of the finest doctors!"
As you're admiring the rack of weapons, you are struck by a sudden premonition. You and Angelo worked together for a number of years, and you like to think that a kind of rapport developed between you. Right now, you have a feeling he's in big trouble. Maybe the BIGGEST trouble. You consider asking Paisley to send a fully stocked medical chopper along, just in case.
Nah, better stick to protocol on this one. You can call in the medical chopper if you need it. Knowing Angelo, he probably just bumped the button on the transponder by mistake, and you'll end up having an awkward confrontation and then leaving in a huff.
>Tale Exoskeleton
>Wear Exoskeleton
>Think how much trouble you're going to get into with the boss for wearing the Exoskeleton
>Think it's worth it to wear the Exoskeleton
>Think how likely it is that this post might do well in search engine results for "Exoskeleton"
>Take enough weapons to make Neo feel embarrassed
>Tale Exoskeleton
I don't know how to tale.
>Wear Exoskeleton
(Taking it first)
You undo the locks and step, almost reverently, into the Exoskeleton. It folds around you with a hiss of pneumatic joints and powered pistons. You slide your fingers into the gloves. You lock your feet into the boots. The display visor closes over your face. You are no longer merely one man. You have the strength of ten.
>Think how much trouble you're going to get into with the boss for wearing the Exoskeleton
You can't understand why Paisley hates the Exoskeleton so much. Or rather, why he hates it when you're wearing it. Sure, it's not exactly subtle. Sure, it causes buckets of explosive collateral damage. Sure, you still haven't fully explained the LAST disaster. Sure, he's probably going to yell at you and maybe punch some things. Maybe you should stop thinking about this.
>Think it's worth it to wear the Exoskeleton
It's like slipping into a pair of comfy pajamas. It's practically your second skin.
You regret nothing.
>Think how likely it is that this post might do well in search engine results for "Exoskeleton"
Thoughts like this are a little too meta even for you.
>Take enough weapons to make Neo feel embarrassed
You scan the weapon rack, trying to decide which weapons to take. Eventually, you settle for all of them.
>W
>N
Now, unless I'm much mistaken, you are in the HELIPAD
>Look
>If nothing interesting to do, ENTER HELICOPTER
>W
You are now in the HALLWAY. Exits are north, south and east.
>N
You step out onto the HELIPAD. Robbie is already waiting in the chopper. You wave. His mouth drops open.
"Christ, Jimmy," he says. "Could you have any more guns strapped to your body?"
"Probably not!" you yell cheerfully. "Are we ready to blast off?"
"Hop in!"
>Look
You are at the HELIPAD. Beyond the guard rail is a fifty-story drop to the LOWER CITY. You are surrounded by the blazing neon and shrieking sky-trains of FUTURE CITY.
The HELICOPTER is here. Robbie is at the controls, waiting for you to get in.
To the south is the SECRET POLICE STATION ENTRANCE.
>If nothing interesting to do, ENTER HELICOPTER
You can't think of anything interesting to do, so you jump in. Robbie fires up the engine. Moments later, you are weaving your way through the towers and transit rails of the city, heading upward.
The chopper lands in front of the MAGICAL WONDERS HOTEL AND CASINO. You hop out. "Just call me up whenever you're ready for extraction," Robbie yells over the roar of the propeller blades, and then he flies away.
You are standing on the LANDING PAD. To the north is the CASINO ENTRANCE.
> Look Exoskeleton
> Track down Angelo and pray that I'm not too late!
>Enter Casino
>Chat up pretty receptionist
>Remember what you're here for
>Point guns at receptionist and demand access to penthouse
> Look Exoskeleton
You admire the EXOSKELETON. It is a framework of complicated rods, pistons, and wires, enfolding your entire body. Wearing the Exoskeleton, you can lift enormous weights, jump vast distances, punch through walls, and withstand massive impacts. It strengthens your spine and automatically injects medicine in emergency situations. It also makes every one of your footsteps into a floor-shaking, cup-rattling seismic event.
You love this thing so much.
> Track down Angelo and pray that I'm not too late!
You have to track down Angelo before it's too late! Whatever "too late" means, since you still have no idea what's happening to him. It's a good plan, but a little too nebulous to enact immediately. You need specifics.
>Enter Casino
You open the front door. It swings open with a loud CRASH. You sometimes forget your own strength in this thing.
The receptionist's jaw drops.
>Chat up pretty receptionist
You stomp up to the counter and grin seductively. "Evening, sweetie," you say. "How you doin?"
Her jaw is still hanging open.
>Remember what you're here for
Oh right, Angelo.
>Point guns at receptionist and demand access to penthouse
You grab two guns at random and point them at her. "I don't want to cause any trouble," you say. "I just need to get into the penthouse. So if you could tell me where that is, and give me a key or something, that would be great."
Her jaw is still hanging open. Her hand trembling violently, she passes a KEYCARD across the counter. You snatch it up.
You realize that a small crowd is gathering in the lobby. They're all staring at you. You can't imagine why.
Oh, right. It's because you're awesome.
>Enjoy the moment
>Goto LIFT
>Use KEYCARD in LIFT
>Enter Penthouse and LOOK
>Laugh at any feeble attempts there may be to damage you in your AWESOME exoskeleton
>Enjoy the moment
You wave to the crowd. They cheer. Sadly, there's no time to sign autographs. You have a job to do.
>Goto LIFT
You stomp over to the lift.
>Use KEYCARD in LIFT
It works! The elevator begins to ascend. Amazing what they can do with technology these days.
There's a buzzing sound in your ear. Someone's contacting you through the built-in suit radio.
"Waterloo!" Paisley barks in your ear. "Status report! Where are you?"
"Calm down, Captain," you say coolly. "I'm in the elevator, en route to the penthouse. No signs of anything suspicious so far."
"I hope you've been keeping a low profile, Waterloo!"
"Of course, Captain. Silent and subtle as a mouse."
"Good. Contact me the millisecond you find Angelo."
He signs off. You sigh with relief. The elevator door opens with a ding.
>Enter Penthouse and LOOK
You step into the Penthouse as quietly as possible, the Exoskeleton's boots sinking into the thick carpet. You feel a draft coming from the NORTH. The bedroom door is open.
>Laugh at any feeble attempts there may be to damage you in your AWESOME exoskeleton
You chuckle. You just had a funny thought. What if someone tried to damage you in your Exoskeleton? There's no way that would work! You are INVINCIBLE.
>Go NORTH ::)
(Assuming Angelo is still lying on the floor of the room)
> Call in a fully equipped medical chopper with a crack team of doctors.
> Lament not trusting your instincts and sending in the medical chopper in the first place.
> Rip up sheets to make bandages and then delicately bandage Angelo to stop any bleeding
(taking the suit off if needed, no point in bandaging him if you get him killed in the process)
> Look out window and scan for badguys/enemies
>Go NORTH
You'd better do something about that draft, it's getting on your nerves. You saunter into the BEDROOM.
Jesus.
ANGELO DEADHAND is lying on the floor, and he's not looking so good. He seems to be bleeding a lot. A lot. It's actually making you a bit nauseous. The carpet is totally ruined, too.
> Call in a fully equipped medical chopper with a crack team of doctors.
You flip on the suit radio. "Paisley, I've found Angelo."
"Great!" Paisley says. "Ask him why the hell he sent out that emergency signal."
"I'd love to," you say, "but he's lying unconscious in a massive, swelling pool of blood. Could you send in the medical chopper?"
"Oh, damn," Paisley mutters. "The doctors are on their way. Waterloo, ensure that the area is secure."
> Lament not trusting your instincts and sending in the medical chopper in the first place.
One of these days you've got to learn to trust your feelings! Of course, there was that one other time you trusted your feelings and ended up with an STD previously undiscovered by science, and had to travel from the ends of the earth to beyond the furthest star to find the cure. That wasn't so good.
> Rip up sheets to make bandages
Now it's time for some emergency first aid! You didn't pay any attention in your first aid courses, mostly because of your loudly expressed opinion that first aid is for pansies, but you're sure you can figure something out. You pull the sheets off the bed and rip them up to make bandages.
> delicately bandage Angelo to stop any bleeding
It's difficult to be delicate wearing the Exoskeleton, but you manage to staunch the bleeding at least a little bit. Or, he might just have run out of blood to bleed. That's looking like a very real possibility at this point.
> take the suit off if needed, no point in bandaging him if you get him killed in the process
You never take off the Exoskeleton in the field.
NEVER.
> Look out window and scan for badguys/enemies
You step up to the window. It appears to have exploded outwards. You do some quick mental gymnastics. The elevator was already up here when you pushed the button. It seems likely that this window was the villain's escape route.
Well, that's one problem solved, then! You're about a billion stories straight up. That bad guy must be a pile of mush by now. Or not - there seems to be a balcony just a few storeys down, and it's littered with broken glass.
You calculate. Ten minutes to gear up after getting the signal, ten minutes in transit. It probably hasn't been much more than twenty minutes since Angelo sent the signal. How far could one guy get in a mere twenty minutes?
> Swear to avenge Angelo!
> Stealthily climb down to the balcony below
> Swear to avenge Angelo!
He will not die in vain! If he dies. The jury's still out on that one.
> Stealthily climb down to the balcony below
You stealthily climb down to the balcony. Actually, you close your eyes and take one lurching step forward, blissfully breathing in as the wind whips by your face, surrounded by the infinite sounds of the city. You land with a crunch on the balcony below, the Exoskeleton's shocks absorbing all the force of the impact.
You are on a BALCONY. Broken glass crunches beneath your feet. To the south is a HOTEL ROOM DOOR. It is closed. To the north, a thin cord snakes down from the balcony railing, nearly invisible.
>Follow where the thin cord takes you
>Take thin cord
>Look
>Follow where the thin cord takes you
You grab the cord and swing over the balcony railing. You don't even look at what's down there, that's how cool you are.
Sadly, the cord is not designed to bear the weight of a man wearing a gigantic steel exoskeleton. It snaps immediately. You plunge about fifteen storeys and land with a crunch on another balcony. The floor groans and cracks beneath your weight. You straighten up.
>Take thin cord
The cord spirals down around you. You scoop it up. It's probably evidence of some kind.
>Look
You are standing on a large, luxurious BALCONY. On the balcony is a HOT TUB, in which a man and a woman are relaxing with martinis. Both of them are staring at you, like you're weird or something. To the SOUTH is a glass door leading into their hotel room.
> Curse the flimsyness of the cable and shake fist in anger.
> Ask the couple if either of them seen a badguy with a gun or anything else that's suspicious.
>Offer to have a photo taken with the couple, seeing as how you're so cool in your exo=suit you can't imagine how anyone would not want to
> Curse the flimsyness of the cable and shake fist in anger.
You're so mad at this cable right now. Back in your day, they built cables to last.
> Ask the couple if either of them seen a badguy with a gun or anything else that's suspicious.
"God," the man mumbles. "This night just keeps getting stranger."
"Sorry to trouble you," you say, raising your hand in a gesture of peace, "but have you seen anyone pass by here lately? I'm on the track of a dangerous criminal, probably armed."
"Well," says the woman, "about fifteen minutes ago, some guy in a gas mask rappelled down onto our balcony, jumped onto the fire escape, and vanished. We've been trying to enjoy a relaxing evening ever since."
"Fruitlessly," the man adds with a suggestive grimace.
>Offer to have a photo taken with the couple, seeing as how you're so cool in your exo=suit you can't imagine how anyone would not want to
You make the offer in a spirit of generosity. They politely decline. Then they vehemently decline.
>SOUTH
>EXAMINE surroundings for any evidence
>FOLLOW the trail...
>SOUTH
You head into the hotel room. "Hey, what the hell," the man yells after you.
>EXAMINE surroundings for any evidence
You scour the room. There are a couple SUITCASES on the bed, which you flip open. They're mostly full of cleanly pressed clothes. Soon the clothes are all over the floor. You're pretty sure they aren't evidence. In the bathroom are a couple TOOTHBRUSHES. Are those evidence? You have a hard time dealing with things you can't just shoot at.
>FOLLOW the trail...
Nothing to see here. You head back out onto the balcony. They said the mysterious assailant escaped down the fire escape. The fire escape itself extends downward to the very base of the hotel. It looks like a lot of stairs to clomp down.
> Quickly scan the fire escape keeping a look out for any open windows or alternate route the badguy may have taken.
> Check suit to see if it has a grappling hook or jet pack, if so use it to rapidly descend. if not then stealthily slide down fire escape in pursuit of the badguy and hope you can catch up to him before he escapes!
>If it's not possible to descend stealthily, crash down making as much noise as possible
>Reprimand yourself for not going the right way in the first place, almost as if someone who hadn't been paying enough attention had been directing your actions
>Say "The Game Is Afoot, Watson!", and then wonder why you said that
> Quickly scan the fire escape keeping a look out for any open windows or alternate route the badguy may have taken.
There are windows all along the route of the fire escape, and a few more balconies too. There are a staggering amount of side routes he could have taken. You resolve to keep an eye out on your way down.
> Check suit to see if it has a grappling hook or jet pack
It has a jetpack, although Research Lab has expressed some doubts about its stability. Technically, it's not even supposed to be attached to the Exoskeleton yet, but the techs agreed to let you field-test it for a while. You love those kids.
> use it to rapidly descend
The jetpack is a lot better at going up than going down, sadly.
Because of the jets.
> slide down fire escape
The fire escape is designed as a system of rickety metal stairs, crisscrossing back and forth in their interminable descent. You have yet to find a reliable means of sliding down stairs, so you start clomping down instead. It's a slow, noisy process.
> crash down making as much noise as possible
This is much more your style. After a moment of pondering, you decide the noisiest possible solution would simply be to jump off the edge. It's a long way down. You while the time away wondering what the maximum fall distance was on the Exoskeleton. It may have been five hundred meters, or it may have been fifty. This feels more like five thousand anyway. You land with an enormous crash, the shocks screaming, and survive.
Awesome.
>Reprimand yourself for not going the right way in the first place, almost as if someone who hadn't been paying enough attention had been directing your actions
Sometimes you don't even know why you're doing things. They just feel right.
>Say "The Game Is Afoot, Watson!", and then wonder why you said that
It's not the first time you've wished you had a chum along, named Watson, to whom you could make clever observations every time something exciting happens.
You have a look at your surroundings. You are standing on a PLATFORM at the base of the hotel. To the north is a RAILING, beyond which is the glittering skyline of Future City. To the south is a MAINTENANCE DOOR leading back into the hotel. The platform wraps around the hotel to the east and west.
There is a DEAD BODY here.
> Check suit for any damage from the fall
> Search body
>Hope the owner of the DEAD BODY is no-one you know...
>Close the victim's eyes, then say "Requiescat in pace" in your best Italian accent.
> Check suit for any damage from the fall
PRIORITY ONE: Is the suit okay? You check. It all seems okay. Sigh of relief.
> Search body
The body once belonged to a security guard, until fairly recently, when somebody shot him in the neck. You go through his pockets like a normal and rational person. He's carrying a gun and a wallet. He also has a cool vest that says SECURITY on the back.
>Hope the owner of the DEAD BODY is no-one you know...
You sure hope this guy didn't owe you any money.
>Close the victim's eyes, then say "Requiescat in pace" in your best Italian accent.
It seems only right. You close his eyes and murmur the words. You have no idea how to pronounce them, but hopefully there are no Italian people around to notice.
FULL SYNC!
> Hold a brief seance in an attempt to contact the spirit of the security guy to ask him where the badguy went.
> Swear an oath to avenge the dead security guy.
> Scan around and try to figure out which way the badguy may have gone.
> Hold a brief seance in an attempt to contact the spirit of the security guy to ask him where the badguy went.
You hold no truck with that superstitious hocus-pocus! The dead are dead. At least you sure hope so. If they're not, you're in some serious trouble.
> Swear an oath to avenge the dead security guy.
You never knew his name, but you swear his death will not be in vain. You will find his killer, and you will make him remember.
> Scan around and try to figure out which way the badguy may have gone.
The bad guy left no traces, apart from the corpse, but his route seems obvious. Unless he jumped over the railing, the only exit from the casino is the landing pad by the front entrance. For all you know, you may have passed him on the way in.
> Send a message to HQ informing them about the dead body.
> Open the door and head South.
>Examine landing pad for signs of recent use
>Ask your Commander how Angelo is doing
>Don't mention the Exosuit...
> Send a message to HQ informing them about the dead body.
You switch on your radio. "Paisley," you say. "I've got a dead body down here."
"Down where?" says Paisley. "Where the hell are you, Waterloo? I've got a medical chopper waiting on the landing pad, with no idea whether the area is secure or not."
"Oh, it's secure in the penthouse, I think," you say. "Just tracking down some leads."
"Waterloo, this is not the time for detective work! Where's this dead body? Where are you?"
> Open the door and head South.
You open the door and barge through the back rooms of the hotel, knocking over buckets and scaring janitors. After several minutes of getting lost in corridors, backtracking, stumbling into the kitchen and causing a chef to burn the steaks, and further nonsense and shenanigans, you emerge into the lobby. From there it's a short jaunt back out onto the landing pad. The MEDICAL CHOPPER is waiting there. All the medics seem to have gone inside.
>Examine landing pad for signs of recent use
You know for a fact that at least two choppers have landed here recently. The landing pad is also visited by a SKY-BUS, which comes through every ten minutes and proceeds further into the UPPER CITY and eventually to the CENTRAL HUB. Unless the villain brought his own chopper, it seems likely he escaped on that.
>Ask your Commander how Angelo is doing
Paisley has been yelling in your ear this whole time, but you haven't really been listening. You cut him off. "How's Angelo, Captain?" you inquire. "Have the doctors found him yet?"
"Goddammit, Waterloo, have you been listening to anything I've said?"
"Not really."
"He's in bad shape, Waterloo, the doctors want to move him to the hospital as quickly as possible. Now I don't know what you're doing, but I'm directly ordering you not to leave the hotel! Leave the detective work to the professionals, Waterloo. And please tell me you're not wearing the goddamn Exoskeleton!"
>Don't mention the Exosuit
You decide not to respond to that last query.
> save game
> Have a flashback to see if you remember passing any badguy with a gas mask or gun
> Tell HQ to hack into the building's surveillance system and see if it has any traces of the badguy in the gas mask
>Follow orders, try to be inconspicuous and don't leave the hotel
>AS IF! Go back into the Penthouse to look for clues
>Intimidate anyone looking nervous
>Ask Receptionist who went up to the Penthouse before Angelo - this dame surely knows more than she's letting on? You're not fooled by the innocent demeanor and cute smile... well, not much...
> save game
Game saved LOL JK SAVE GAMES ARE FOR THE WEAK
> Have a flashback to see if you remember passing any badguy with a gas mask or gun
You rack your brains. The killer could have been any member of the cheering crowd in the lobby, and you'd have no way of knowing! Now if only the killer was wearing something distinctive. Like a gas mask. Sadly, you have no way of knowing that.
> Tell HQ to hack into the building's surveillance system and see if it has any traces of the badguy in the gas mask
You return to the radio. "Captain," you say, "I need you to tell Pauline to get her haxxors onto the interwebs or whatever and check the hotel's surveillance tapes for a suspicious figure, probably armed with a gun."
Captain Paisley sounds like he's on the verge of having an apoplectic fit. "WHAT THE SHIT, WATERLOO," he roars. "You are wearing the Exoskeleton, aren't you? Admit it! You are! Take a damn step back, Waterloo, and think about what you're doing! I don't want this to be..."
You stop listening. Hopefully he'll cool down in a few minutes and ring up Pauline.
>Follow orders, try to be inconspicuous and don't leave the hotel
You decide to follow orders, keep it low-key and stick to the hotel.
>AS IF!
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!
>Intimidate anyone looking nervous
You rumble back into the lobby and check for nervous people, to whom you could potentially talk smack. The crowd seems to have cleared out, unfortunately, and the only person left is the receptionist.
> Ask Receptionist who went up to the Penthouse before Angelo
"Say, ma'am," you say, clomping up to the desk.
"Oh jesus, I thought you were in the penthouse," she says, dropping her jar of nail polish.
"I'm done in there," you say. "FOR NOW. Right now, I want some answers. Who else did you let into the penthouse today?"
"Well, there was one guy," she said. "Blonde Jack. He's staying in the penthouse right now."
"WHO ELSE?" you demand.
"Also Blonde Jack's personal assistant," she says. "Kind of a weird guy, but whatever, he swore up and down he was legit."
"What did he look like?"
"No idea. He had a gas mask on or something. This has been a really weird night for me, okay?"
> Think, "The guy in the gas mask must be the badguy mentioned by the couple in the hot tub!"
> Ask Receptionist if she has a picture of this "Blonde Jack" to show you
>Tell Receptionist you'll need to visit the hotel's surveillance center and look for any video of said badguy.
> Think, "The guy in the gas mask must be the badguy mentioned by the couple in the hot tub!"
You connect the dots. A horrifying picture is forming - a picture of a bad guy, wearing a gas mask, who shot some people and then fled the hotel. A chill runs down your spine. Clearly, you are dealing with a professional.
> Ask Receptionist if she has a picture of this "Blonde Jack" to show you
"Do you have a PICTURE of this Blonde Jack you could show me?" you inquire.
The receptionist blinks. "Um, I don't think so," she says. "We don't usually take photos of the guests."
>Tell Receptionist you'll need to visit the hotel's surveillance center and look for any video of said badguy.
"In that case, I'm going to need to look at some surveillance photos," you say. "I'm on the trail of a dangerous villain. He has guns. He's a bad dude. He shoots people."
"Um," she says. "Are you with the police or something? I don't know what the policy is of just showing people surveillance footage. You probably need a warrant or something."
> Ask Receptionist to describe "Blonde Jack" and hope she isn't just thinking of Angelo.
>Tell Receptionist that you're with the government and that time is of the essence. If she still doesn't let you into surveillance center tell her that they'll send her to Gitmo to be water boarded for harboring a dangerous terrorist.
>Tell Receptionist that the Exoskeleton is your authority. Only top government agents are allowed to use it. Forget to mention that you're not really supposed to be using it right now. Mutter darkly under your breath about Paisley in particular and bureaucracy in general.
> Ask Receptionist to describe "Blonde Jack"
"Describe this Blonde Jack person to me, then," you say.
"Um, okay." She thinks for a moment and then gives you a detailed description of Angelo Deadhand. Wait, so Angelo was Blonde Jack all along? The plot thickens!
>Tell Receptionist that you're with the government and that time is of the essence
"I AM with the government!" you say. "Time is of the ESSENCE!"
"Do you have any ID or something?" she says. "I just really don't want to get fired."
> tell her that they'll send her to Gitmo to be water boarded for harboring a dangerous terrorist
You don't even know what Gitmo is, probably because you never paid much attention in history class.
>Tell Receptionist that the Exoskeleton is your authority
"I may not have any ID on me," you say, "but what I do have is this suit."
You flex the arm parts. There's an impressive pneumatic hiss as the powered shafts compress.
"Only top government agents wear this suit," you say. "It is an incredibly advanced piece of technology, created by our finest scientists. It is worn only by the most important government agents. It is designed to hunt. It is designed to make me invincible. And yes, it is designed to kill."
> Forget to mention that you're not really supposed to be using it right now
"I am totally authorized to wear this suit," you add. "There is no doubt that my boss would approve of me wearing it. I am not in violation of any kind of direct order right now."
> Mutter darkly under your breath about Paisley in particular and bureaucracy in general.
The suits are always trying to keep you down. Well, you'll show them. You'll show them all.
"Okay, I guess," says the receptionist, breaking your reverie. "The security center is on the other side of the casino. I'll tell Herb to let you in."
>Goto Security Centre
>Talk to Herb
>Examine Security Footage
>Goto Security Centre
You cross the casino, attracting a number of stares en route, and leaving some permanent cracks in the polished flooring.
You are standing on the CASINO FLOOR. To the west is a door labeled "Employees Only". It is guarded by a grumpy-looking fellow in an ill-fitting Magical Wonders Hotel and Casino uniform. His name tag reads "Herb." To the west is the LOBBY. There seem to be a lot of SLOT MACHINES everywhere.
>Talk to Herb
"Evening, Herb," you say, attempting to make a gesture of peace with your hand.
Herb looks at you and then does a double take. "Jesus shit what the fuck christ," he gasps.
"Now then, Herb," you say sternly. "There may be children present." This is unlikely, given that you're in a casino, but whatever. "As you probably know, I'm a super-important government agent and I need to see some security footage, and I need to see it with extreme quickness."
Herb scratches his saggy chin. "Yeah, I guess. Follow me."
He escorts you through the door and into a small room absolutely packed with glowing terminals showing a live feed of every area of the hotel. The number of buttons and flashing lights is slightly overwhelming.
"Okay, good luck, I need to get back to work," says Herb sourly, slouching away.
>Examine Security Footage
You hesitantly touch one of the terminals.
Nothing happens.
> Quickly look at the screens and see if any of them has a badguy in a gas mask in them.
> Place a phone call directly to Pauline and ask her if she can hack into the security system of the hotel and scan for any footage of the badguy in the gas mask.
> See if you figure out which screen corresponds to the penthouse.
> Quickly look at the screens and see if any of them has a badguy in a gas mask in them.
You have a look at the screens. They all show idyllic scenes of reckless gambling and quiet hallways. Nobody seems to be lurking around in a gas mask.
> Place a phone call directly to Pauline
Clearly, you're going to have to take matters into your own hands. You fiddle with your radio controls and put a call through to Pauline.
"Oh, hey, Waterloo," she says, sounding sleepy. "Are you out tonight? I didn't think there was anything going on."
> ask her if she can hack into the security system of the hotel and scan for any footage of the badguy in the gas mask
"Kind of an emergency situation," you say. "Pauline, could you do me a big favour?"
"Sure thing, cowboy. Hey, are you the guy Paisley's been yelling at for the last ten minutes? He seems super mad about something."
"No idea. Look, I'm at the Magical Wonders Hotel and Casino. Do you think you could hack into their security system and check something out for me?"
"Yeah, just give me a minute."
You wait for Pauline to work her computer magic. It takes about fifteen seconds.
"I'm in," she says. "What are you looking for?"
"Whoa, that was fast."
"Yeah, they use SuperSafe Security and they haven't changed the password to their database in like eight months. I'll let you ponder the irony after you tell me what you're looking for."
"A mysterious man in a gas mask who attacked someone in the penthouse and then fled via the window."
"Right. Just give me a few minutes."
> See if you figure out which screen corresponds to the penthouse
You go through all the screens again. None of them seem to display the penthouse. Now that you think about it, it would be kind of weird if they had live video feed right into all the hotel rooms.
"Okay, I think I've found your guy," Pauline says. "He gets off the bus on the landing pad at 10:37 and goes into the hotel. He's in the lobby and talks to the receptionist for a minute. Then he gets into the penthouse elevator at 10:39 and I lose him. Next time I pick him up is at the base of the building, near a maintainence door. He drops down from above somehow and shoots a security guard. Ouch. Then he circles around the building and gets back to the landing pad at 10:49, gets on the next bus and sails away into the sunset."
"What time is it now?" you ask.
"11:05."
> Ask Pauline if she could find out which bus he took or if he is still on the bus.
> Ask her if she can find out any info on who was renting the penthouse.
> Ask Pauline if she could find out which bus he took or if he is still on the bus.
"What bus is he on?" you ask. "Is he even on the bus? What colour is the bus? Tell me everything about this bus, Pauline!"
"It's Number U237," she says. "It should be stopping at Central Station in about two minutes. Hang on, I'll try to get the feed from the bus."
> Ask her if she can find out any info on who was renting the penthouse
"Once you're done with that, I'd like to know more about who's staying in the penthouse here," you add.
"Registered under the name of Blonde Jack," she says. "That's all the hotel records show. Ah, here we go. Yeah, he's on the bus. It'll be stopping soon. You might want to hurry if you're hoping to meet him."
"Thanks, Pauline," you say. "You're the best."
> Fire up the jetpack and go fly off to catch the badguy!
>First, record quick Last Will and Testament since you don't really know how to use the experimental jetpack
> record quick Last Will and Testament
You hastily whip out a scrap of paper and inscribe your Last Will and Testament, leaving everything to your beloved lab/golden retriever, Poofy.
> Fire up the jetpack and go fly off to catch the badguy!
No time to waste! None whatsoever! You fire up the jetpack without a second thought and blast straight out into the casino. You are moving extraordinarily fast and it is nearly impossible to steer. There is some collateral damage. Slot machines are smashed. Blackjack tables are overturned. The carpet is set on fire. You blow through the wall in a haze of shattered glass and and wood chips, and moments later you are flying through the sky-streets of Future City.
You somehow manage to adjust your course to more or less follow the bus rails towards the Upper City Central Station. At this wildly unsafe speed, you should arrive there well before the next bus does. So long as you don't crash into anything. The jetpack is very enthusiastic about flying in one direction, but it is sluggish and reluctant when the time comes to change course. If a flying car pops out in front of you, things could get a little explodey.
Luckily, no cars fly out in front of you, and you arrive safely at Central Station. The platform is abuzz with life even at this late hour, colourful crowds swarming on and off the endless chains of buses. You have no idea how to land, so you just switch off the jetpack and hope for the best. You crash down on the platform and leave a mighty crack in the concrete. Several newspaper vendors topples over in the ensuing shockwave. You stand up and peer through the fog of fluttering pages.
>Wait for the bus
>Search for guy in a gas mask (shouldn't be too hard?)
> If the suit has a cloaking device activate that. Otherwise hide yourself before the bus arrives so that you don't scare the badguy off.
> If the suit has a cloaking device activate that
Now why doesn't your suit have a cloaking device? You can't believe you didn't think of that. You'll have to talk to the Tech Lab kids RIGHT AWAY.
> hide yourself before the bus arrives
You look for something suitably bulky to conceal yourself behind. The Ticket Dispensers look sufficient, so you stomp over to one, ignoring the clamour of the crowd. Nobody could say that you're hidden, but you're at least a little less obvious.
>Wait for the bus
You wait for about six seconds. The bus is already pulling into the station.
>Search for guy in a gas mask
He's the first one to step off the bus. Stylish suit? Gas mask? Is that a pistol he's carrying? What is this guy's problem?
> disarm the badguy!
> Say "Let's find out who this joker really is!" and pull of the badguy's gas mask.
> arrest the badguy, If he resist get all Jack Bauer on him.
>Clear the area. At least, keep them at a safe distance - you don't mind the attention.
>Act really surprised (even though you're not) if the bad GUY turns out to be a GAL (oh wait, this isn't a Hollywood production...)
>Ask:WHO ARE YOU? WHO DO YOU WORK FOR? WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE COLOUR?!?!
>Demand answers. Apply persuasion techniques if necessary. Check suit for Truth Serum.
> disarm the badguy!
You leap into action, stealthy and silent as a serpent. Or a drunk bear that just woke up from hibernation, that's probably a more apt analogy. Tipped off by your total lack of subtlety, Gas Mask Guy shoots you and runs away.
The Exoskeleton's Bullet Detectors whir into action, unleashing a shockwave of outward force that deflects the bullet and throws all the junk in the plaza into a whirlwind. You start to run. You have to hand it to Gas Mask Guy - he's fast.
But not fast enough.
> Say "Let's find out who this joker really is!"
"Let's find out who this joker really is!" you say jubilantly, pinning him to the ground with your enormous weight.
>Clear the area. At least, keep them at a safe distance - you don't mind the attention.
"Citizens!" you roar. "I'm going to need everyone to take a few steps back! I'm about to unmask an INCREDIBLY DANGEROUS CRIMINAL, and I could never in good conscience put ordinary civilians in danger!"
Everyone takes like one step back, craning their necks to see what's going on. At least two reporters from Channel Six News are pushing their way to the front of the crowd.
> pull off the badguy's gas mask
You pull off the gas mask with a single mighty yank.
For a moment, all that can be heard is the low mutter of the crowd and the click-flash of the Channel Six News cameras.
>Act really surprised (even though you're not) if the bad GUY turns out to be a GAL
You do not need to feign surprise. In fact, you don't even need to feign horror.
There is no head beneath the mask. Instead, twin video cameras stare back at you, mounted on a small black box affixed to the man's neck. A voice emerges from a small speaker set in the box.
"Goddamit," it says wearily. "Do you know how expensive these things are?"
>Ask:WHO ARE YOU? WHO DO YOU WORK FOR? WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE COLOUR?!?!
"WHO ARE YOU?" you demand. "WHO DO YOU WORK FOR? WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE COLOUR?!?!"
"You can call me the Lovely Parrot if you like," he says. "My favourite colour is purple. They wouldn't let me wear a purple suit, though. Too conspicuous. That's all I'm going to tell you. Oh, one more thing. The Reckoning Of Your People Is Coming, Mortal. You Will Look In The Face Of Your Fellow Man And See Only Terror. Your Feeble Fingers Grasp, Pathetically, At What You Call A Victory. But You Have Already Lost. You Stare Now Into The End Of Your Kind And All You Know And Love. Goodbye."
>Demand answers. Apply persuasion techniques if necessary.
"THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH!" you shout, slapping him around a little. It has no effect. The body is limp as a rag doll. Even the twin cameras seem dull and silent.
> arrest the badguy
You quickly place the corpse under arrest.
You can hear the sound of an approaching helicopter.
> Take a moment to revel in avenging Angelo and the dead security guy.
> Call HQ to Tell them that you caught the badguy who may turn out to be a cyborg or android.
> Look at badguy. Search badguy for evidence.
> Ask them if Angello's doing any better and chew out Paiseley for sending him on a dangerous mission completely unarmed!
> Ask if Pauline and the tech team at HQ can dismantle the android / cyborg to recover any data or memory.
> Take a moment to revel in avenging Angelo and the dead security guy.
You give the limp body a satisfied kick. Victory is sweet.
> Search badguy for evidence.
You quickly rummage through his pockets. Besides the gun, all he's carrying is some kind of handheld data device. You snap it up.
> Ask if Pauline and the tech team at HQ can dismantle the android / cyborg to recover any data or memory.
"Hey Pauline, you still there?" you say.
"You bet, cowboy," says Pauline. "I've been watching on the security cameras. That was quite a piece of work you just did."
"My pleasure," you say. "You guys want to have a look at this thing? It's all a little too technical for me."
"I'm already itching to dismantle it," she says. "I think Paisley's sending someone in for pickup right now."
It's getting hard to hear over the sound of that helicopter.
> Call HQ to Tell them that you caught the badguy
You switch your communicator back to Paisley's channel. "Hey, boss, I got my man," you yell. "How are things?"
"I'm not pleased, Jim," says Paisley grimly. "I'm not pleased at all."
You feel a blast of air as the helicopter lands right next to you. The crowd starts to cheer. The chopper door opens and Captain Paisley himself steps out.
He does not look pleased.
> Ask them if Angello's doing any better and chew out Paiseley for sending him on a dangerous mission completely unarmed!
"Hey, boss," you say cheerfully. "How's Angelo doing?"
"He's being moved to the hospital," Paisley grinds out. "Waterloo, I need to have a very long chat with you about all this."
"I can hardly wait," you say. "But I have to ask, boss - what were you thinking, sending Angelo out on a job like this without any kind of weapon? God knows I'd have loved to lend him one."
"You know Deadhand," says Paisley. "He never did like guns. Get in the chopper. Boys, collect that corpse, we'll have our people go over it. And god, someone please tell this crowd to shut up!"
You step into the chopper, pausing for a single moment and waving to the crowd. They seem pretty excited. The last thing you see before the chopper lifts off is the bright flash of a news camera.
Hard to say for sure, but you're guessing you made the front page.
..................................
You wake up slowly, unsure of who you are. Soft pastel colours swim in your vision.
Where are you? Who are you? What's going on?
If only you could think clearly.
>
>Take a headache tablet (well it worked in H2G2!) ;D
> look self
> look around
> inventory
>Take a headache tablet
You scrounge around for a headache tablet. Popping one, you find that your mind becomes clear. You remember the past - and you can see into the future. The whole world is laid bare to you. All of history, past and present, becomes clear. You suddenly understand the purpose behind humanity's existence, and you see the final destination of the universe, burning in the distance like an ancient star.
At least, that's probably what would happen if you had a headache tablet.
But you don't.
> look self
Groggily, you have a look at yourself. Most of you is concealed beneath a stiff white blanket. You seem to be wearing a hospital gown.
> look around
Your eyes adjusting to the light, you examine your surroundings. You are lying in a BED in a small, extremely sanitary room. Beside you is an array of COMPLICATED MEDICAL EQUIPMENT that appears to be monitoring your vital signs. There is a POTTED PLANT in the corner. A NURSE is here, checking something on a display.
> inventory
You aren't carrying anything!
>Look at POTTED PLANT and say "Hi, Chuck!"
>Examine Nurse
>Ask Nurse what happened to you
> Tell nurse you can't think clearly and have lost your memory and ask her who you are or if she can give you something to clear your head.
>Look at POTTED PLANT and say "Hi, Chuck!"
As potted plants go, it looks pretty typical. You offer it a friendly greeting.
It doesn't respond.
>Examine Nurse
You study the nurse carefully. Middle-aged, short brown hair, stern expression, glasses, doesn't seem terribly interested in you.
>Ask Nurse what happened to you
"Nurse," you moan, "what has happened to me?"
She glances down at you. "Ah, you're awake," she says crisply. "Wonderful. I was beginning to think you'd be asleep for a week."
"A week?"
"I'll call the doctor."
> Tell nurse you can't think clearly and have lost your memory
"Nurse," you say, "this is a bit embarrassing, but I can't quite remember who I am right now."
She rolls her eyes and consults a clipboard. "Your name is Angelo Deadhand," she says. "You were admitted three days ago. You've undergone some fairly extensive surgery - I'll let the doctor tell you about it."
Oh, right. You remember now. You were shot. That was certainly unpleasant.
The DOCTOR stomps into the room, stroking a majestic mustache. "Mr Deadhand," he says. "And how are you feeling?"
"Just a little groggy," you say. "Give it to me straight, Doc. How bad was it?"
"Pretty bad," the doctor acknowledges, "but you pulled through all right."
"Don't pull any punches, Doc. Did you give me any bionic limbs?"
"Well," says the doctor, "we did have to give you a new bionic stomach."
"Will that give me any superpowers?"
"Probably not."
> Ask the doc if the bionic stomach will allow me to eat anything I want without getting sick. If so cheer "WooHoo!" If not lament "DOH!"
>Examine doctor
>Tickle moustache
>Tickle nurse
>Ask if they know who did it
>Say "By Gwapthar's Hammer, I will avenge... um... ME!"
> Ask the doc if the bionic stomach will allow me to eat anything I want
"Will the bionic stomach allow me to eat anything I want?" you ask.
"In theory, you could already eat anything you want," says the doctor, "as long as you could get it past your lips. The bionic stomach is slightly more resilient to bullets, but we still don't recommend eating poison or anything."
"So, no?"
"Not really."
> lament "DOH!"
"DOH!" you lament.
>Examine doctor
A portly fellow with a reassuring medical aspect. Receding grey hairline, slightly sunken eyes, fatherly smile on lips. He's not wearing a stethoscope around his neck, which completely shatters all your mental images of doctors.
>Tickle moustache
You can't reach the doc's moustache, so you tickle the bare spot on your lip where a moustache would be, and reminisce about that one time you grew one in order to infiltrate the Secret Society of the Moustached Men. Those were the days!
>Tickle nurse
You have a feeling she would not react favourably.
>Ask if they know who did it
"One more thing before I get back to work on this case," you say, sitting up and swinging your legs onto the floor. "Do you know who shot me?"
The doctor glances at the nurse, who shrugs.
"No idea," he says. "Our job is pretty much just pulling the bullet out."
>Say "By Gwapthar's Hammer, I will avenge... um... ME!"
"It doesn't matter," you say, as the dramatic musical score swells behind you. "I'll find him, whoever he is. And I will have my revenge."
A short time later, you're standing at the bus stop outside the hospital. The bus swoops in and you climb aboard.
Your first thought was to return to your apartment, but now that you're in transit, you wonder if it might be a good idea to stop by the station first. Paisley would probably want you to check in.
> Wince painfully and think ,"Maybe I ought to start carrying a gun, Or at least wear a bullet proof vest".
> Take bus to office and enter flamboyantly demanding to be brought fully up to speed on all the latest happenings in the case.
>check the surroundings for potentional suspicious gas mask wearing hitmen >scratch yer left buttcheek
>Mutter darkly about having to catch the bus when you're been wounded in the course of duty
>Mutter darkly about hospitals discharging patients the moment they're awake
>Mutter darkly about people shooting you
>Mutter darkly about Paisley sending you on this mission in the first place
>Mutter darkly about the general suckiness of your life
>Mutter darkly about nothing in particular
>Get a grip, stop muttering darkly and go to HQ, find out from Paisley what the hell is going on
>Mutter darkly a bit more, just for good measure
> Wince painfully and think ,"Maybe I ought to start carrying a gun, Or at least wear a bullet proof vest".
Briefly, you consider breaking your Vow and carrying a weapon on your next mission. You reject the thought immediately. It might be a good idea to track down a bulletproof vest, though.
> Take bus to office
Taken!
> enter flamboyantly demanding to be brought fully up to speed on all the latest happenings in the case
You sweep in through the front door, strike a pose, and yell "Okay everyone, I'm back! What's been going on?"
Lola glances at you from behind the reception desk and raises her left eyebrow slightly. "I think Captain Paisley's in his office," she says. "He's been waiting for you."
>check the surroundings for potentional suspicious gas mask wearing hitmen
Still feeling a bit paranoid from that one time you got shot, you check your surroundings. It looks pretty clear, but you can never be too careful. The gas mask people could be anywhere.
>scratch yer left buttcheek
It was a bit itchy.
>Mutter darkly about having to catch the bus when you're been wounded in the course of duty
You do have a personal sky-car, but unfortunately you left it at home.
>Mutter darkly about an interminable number of things
For several minutes, the air is filled with the sound of dark muttering. Carol ignores you and continues to play Solitaire. You are wounded and slightly annoyed.
>Get a grip, stop muttering darkly
You finally give up.
> find out from Paisley what the hell is going on
You head into Paisley's office. He's buried in a pile of reports, but his expression turns to joy the moment you walk in.
"Deadhand!" he says. "Good to see you back on your feet. It was touch and go for a while there."
"So I've heard," you say. "What happened?"
"One of our agents pulled you out," says Paisley. "He also managed to track down your killer, somehow. I guess."
"Impressive," you say. "Who was it?"
"Waterloo," Paisley mutters, darkly. "But that's not important. Angelo, I know things got a little rough there, but are you willing to keep going on this case?"
"Of course, Captain," you say. "A little thing like being shot to death won't hold me back."
"Good. Here's where we stand. Tech Lab's been studying the guy who shot you, and he's an odd bird - you might want to check in with them. We still haven't heard anything about Blonde Jack. He never returned to the penthouse - he seems to have disappeared entirely. If you can track him down, that would be excellent. Oh, and your attacker was carrying this. You might find it useful."
He gives you the HANDHELD DATA DEVICE that you discovered in the penthouse.
"One more thing, Angelo," he adds. "After last night's disaster, we've decided to assign you a partner, just in case things go sideways again. I recommend Percy Sniff. He's a smart, reliable guy who plays by the rules."
>slap your face
>sigh
>Use HANDHELD DATA DEVICE
> Tell Paisley "Waterloo saved my life and avenged me, so I think I'll go with him as my partner!"
> Savor the reaction of Paisley.
> Go down to the tech lab and ask them what they found out about my shooter.
>slap your face
You decide not to slap yourself in the face. It seems both painful and pointless.
>Use HANDHELD DATA DEVICE
You switch on the HANDHELD DATA DEVICE. It seems someone has hastily purged the drive, because only one message remains. It reads: "another flaw to correct meet at usual place tomorrow night only thirteen days left to wait". It was sent by someone calling themselves "The Lovely Parrot". Mysterious!
> Tell Paisley "Waterloo saved my life and avenged me, so I think I'll go with him as my partner!"
You drop the news. After all these years, you still want no partner other than Jimmy.
Paisley rolls his eyes. "God, I was afraid you'd say that," he says. "Fine. Have it your way. Waterloo's off today, you can give him the news tomorrow."
> Savor the reaction of Paisley.
You bask in the moment.
> Go down to the tech lab
You make your way to the Tech Lab, where mobs of scientists are crowded around countless blinking terminals and dangerous prototypes. In the far corner of the room, you find a DEAD BODY on a table. The body appears to be missing its head. KIM is studying something on a terminal nearby.
> ask them what they found out about my shooter
"Found anything?" you ask.
"Yeah, a few things," says Kim. "This is a weird one - it looks like an actual, organic body, with some kind of computer plugged into its nervous system. It looks like it was receiving signals from an external source, and probably transmitting data as well."
"Bizarre," you say. "Anything else?"
"We did a DNA check on the body," says Kim. "We have a match. It's a known weapons smuggler, Mark Lawless. He disappeared a few years back, and we never picked up any leads."
"Apparently someone chopped off his head and stuck a computer in there," you say. "Did he have any connections to Blonde Jack?"
"No idea. You can probably access his file from your office terminal."
> Look at the dead body and say , "a human with a robot head isn't as cool as a robot with a human head!"
> Be glad you still have a head on your shoulders.
> Ask if they could determine which frequency the head computer was tuned to and then have them eavesdrop on that frequency.
>punch the body in the shoulder and say "See ya 'round" then wink at Kim >laugh sheepeshly then strike a thinking pose and think of any possible connections.
>Go to your office and find out everything you can about Blonde Jack
> Look at the dead body and say , "a human with a robot head isn't as cool as a robot with a human head!"
You shake your head sadly. "A human with a robot head isn't half as cool as a robot with a human head," you say. "Actually, now that I think about it, both would be equally terrifying."
> Be glad you still have a head on your shoulders.
You tap your own head for reassurance. You really like how it's attached to your neck.
> Ask if they could determine which frequency the head computer was tuned to
"So," you say, "this head-computer. Is there any way you could figure out what frequency it was tuned to?"
"I'm working on a trace right now," says Kim. "I'll make sure to call you up if I find anything, but it could take a while."
"Fair enough."
>punch the body in the shoulder and say "See ya 'round"
You give the corpse a friendly punch, as if to say that there are no hard feelings, you had a good run, better luck next time. "See ya round," you say. "I'd better get to work."
>Go to your office
You are in your OFFICE. Your DESK is here, piled with FRESH PAPERWORK. Sheesh. A few days off the job, and the backlog is already piling up.
> find out everything you can about Blonde Jack
You have a seat at your DESK and switch on your COMPUTER TERMINAL. It only takes you a moment to access the COMPREHENSIVE CRIMINAL DATABASE available to all police investigators. You look up Blonde Jack.
According to the entry, not much is known about Blonde Jack. His ties to a dangerous weapon smuggling ring are well documented, but he has never been arrested. Sources state that he is often seen frequenting a small cafe in the Lower City, a place called THE DRUMMER'S REST for some reason. It's believed that he owns an apartment somewhere in the Lower City, but recently took up residence in the penthouse of the Magical Wonders Casino and Hotel.
> Look up the Lawless file on your computer then type "Blonde Jack" and "Lovely Parrot" into Google and see what hits you get, if you're lucky they might even have a twitter feed!
> Place a quick call to Waterloo to thank him for saving your butt and to let him you've recovered nicely.
> Look up the Lawless file on your computer
According to the documents, he dealt in smuggled weapons out of his secret shop in the Lower City. He was also known to tinker in weapon design. Rumours said he was trying to build some kind of super-secret superweapon. He vanished without a trace three years ago, and no traces of him have been found since. Until now!
> type "Blonde Jack" and "Lovely Parrot" into Google
You've never heard of any kind of thing called Google. Maybe it has something to do with the mysterious Inter-Tube Network the techs sometimes talk about.
> Place a quick call to Waterloo to thank him for saving your butt and to let him you've recovered nicely
It seems only right to let Jimmy know you've recovered, especially since he saved your butt and everything. You ring up his home phone. It rings for a while. You feel a bit nervous - it's been a long time since you last spoke to Jimmy. You wonder what he'll think of you calling him up like this.
You get his answering machine. "Hey, Jimmy here, leave a message, I'm probably drunk." Beeeeep..
You hang up. Some other time.
>Check FRESH PAPERWORK to see if there's anything interesting. (Probably not, but you never know.)
>Check if Jimmy is in the office
> Check your computer and answering machine to see if anybody sent you any email , voice mails, phone calls, or other messages while you were in the hospital.
>Check FRESH PAPERWORK to see if there's anything interesting
You sort through the piles of paperwork. It's incredible how boring it all looks.
>Check if Jimmy is in the office
Who knows, maybe Jimmy came in to work today, despite how wildly out of character that would be! You put a call through to his office. No one answers.
You are not surprised.
> Check your computer and answering machine
You check for new messages. You have quite a number of inter-office memos, dull calendar reminders, and about two dozen messages from Alex, who will never leave you alone. You have little inclination to respond to any of them.
> Go back to the tech lab and ask them what all they were able to find out about the data device. Maybe have them scan it while you use it to send a message somewhere. Ask them to use their vast technical expertise to find out everything they can about "Blonde Jack" and "Lovely Parrot" using the interwebs.
> Pop into the armory to see if they have any body armor in your size. Consider swiping the exosuit if it's available.
> Check the time and consider going back home if it's late enough.