Something really funny

[BlackMan890]

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English
will be the official language of the European Union rather than German,
which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her
Majesty's government conceded that English spelling had some room for
improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become
known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will
make sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in
favour of "k".

This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted
to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the
horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should
go away.

By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"
with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining
"ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer
vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
understand ech oza.

Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. If zis mad you smil, pleas
pas on to oza pepl.

Zen ve vil rul ze world!!!



lol, nice change

[Rui 'Trovatore' Pires]

Please tell me it's a joke. Please.

EDIT - If it is, I've broken some sort of personal record by taking two obvious jokes seriously in the space of about 5 hours (reference to Microsoft Sucks part 2). In which case, somebody shoot me.

EDIT 2 - Ok, shoot me. I just understood the penultimate paragraph.

[Al_Ninio]

Rather old, but amusing.
The first time I saw it it was an essay attributed to Mark Twain, not sure of that, can't really trust the bookwarez scene THAT much.
Here it is:

For example, in Year 1 that useless letter "c" would be dropped
to be replased either by "k" or "s", and likewise "x" would no longer
be part of the alphabet.
The only kase in which "c" would be retained would be the "ch" formation, which will be dealt with later.
Year 2 might reform "w" spelling, so that "which" and "one" would take the same konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish "y" replasing it with "i" and iear 4 might fiks the "g/j" anomali wonse and for all.
Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear with iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and iears 6-12 or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants.
Bai iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi
ridandant letez "c", "y" and "x" -- bai now jast a memori in the maindz
ov ould doderez -- tu riplais "ch", "sh", and "th" rispektivli.
Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud
hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe ingliy-spiking werld.

Edit: http://www.i18nguy.com/twain.html

[TerranRich]

redruM, did you know that the word "gullible" isn't in any dictionaries? Check it out!

[Rui 'Trovatore' Pires]

Gah. Did I mispell it or dream it entirely?

Ah well. Naive, then. I'm too naive. It even sounds nicely poetic.

[Paper Carnival]

zat vas rili fani!

[Kon-Tiki]

In the middle, it started to sound worse than how I pronounce it (and I talk English with an "I'll be back 8) " accent ) After that, it got unpronouncable. Thank god for that just being a joke

[edmundito]

Please tell me it's a joke. Please.

EDIT - If it is, I've broken some sort of personal record by taking two obvious jokes seriously in the space of about 5 hours (reference to Microsoft Sucks part 2). In which case, somebody shoot me.

EDIT 2 - Ok, shoot me. I just understood the penultimate paragraph.

APRIL FOOLS!

[Rui 'Trovatore' Pires]

APRIL FOOLS!

Heh. Here's the funny thing - I NEVER fall for April Fools.

Well, except from that "AGS goes Shareware" thread, but that was a MASSIVE April Fools.

[BlackMan890]

umm, this is not April fools joke :p
but i think this is a joke