Sex and Adventure Games: A Comparison

[big brother]

How adventure games are better than sex:
You can fit more items into your “inventory”.
There are more hotspots.
Fedoras and bullwhips are seen as nostalgic.
You get funny responses when you try stupid things (“I'm not putting my lips on that”).
Subtitles can replace the voice in case relatives are staying over.
You can adjust the speed of the gameplay.
Sometimes you can switch characters.
Some of them have a point system, instantly letting you know how well you're doing.
The background music follows the action (iMUSE, anyone?).
No one will arrest you for playing in public.
A headache won't prevent you from playing.
You can stay up all night to beat it (heh).
You can finish even if you're drunk.
They can be played anytime of the month.
You can keep the walkcycle speed constant.
Women don't care about the size of your “player character”.
It's ok to laugh when you're playing.
The game won't fake an ending animation.
It doesn't matter how long it takes you to win.

How the two are similar:
If you do something right, you can take a break and watch a cutscene.
Some puzzles involve timing.
Pixel hunting can be frustrating.
They both get better with time.
Either one can give you a virus.

How adventure games are worse than sex:
Adventure games have a lower replay value.
There are only 4 or 8 angles.
Some people will call you a loser for playing.

[Ubel]

Great stuff!

[stu]

ha, fantastic!

[Kweepa]

Shouldn't "I'm not putting my lips on that" be in the "similar" category?

[Scummbuddy]

argh, another great thing that could have been saved for the agszine...

great stuff.

[Phemar]

Hehe good one.

[SSH]

Missing from similar: CJ allows us to do it for free!

[Gilbert]

Add one to "advantages":
Because of CJ, not only do you can make one for free, but also play many for free!
CJ gives us free gadgets to make it, and you have free plugins too.




...or, should the first half of the second point be in "similarities"?

[Vince Twelve]

Missing from similar: CJ allows us to do it for free!

You guys get it for free?!  He always makes me pay him!

...

for AGS

...

not sex

...

I swear...