I was sent this the other day, and feel the need to share it:
We wanted to send some sort of holiday greeting to our friends and colleagues, but it is difficult in today's world to know exactly what to say without offending someone.
So we met with our lawyer yesterday, and on advice we wish to say the following:
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non addictive, gender neutral celebration of the summer/winter solstice holiday practiced with the most enjoyable traditions of religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.
We also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2011, but not without due respect for the calendar of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make our country great (not to imply that Australia is necessarily greater than any other country) and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.
By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms :
This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting.
It implies no promise by the wishers to actually implement any of the wishes for her/him or others and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher.
The wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.
Best Regards (without prejudice)
Name withheld (Privacy Act).
Merry Christmas, bitch.
Love,
Shane Stevens
Thanks for sharing - these are perfect wishes for everyone.
I cannot decide whether it's funny or sad.
I think the world needs to take a collective deep breath and get over this trivial bullshit.
All the major religions want to preach "tolerance" and "peace" and yet we have to endure such P/C idiocy at this time of year.
It's one of the main reasons I loathe organized religion.
"We love/tolerate our [insert religious group] brethren ... just not enough to let them celebrate their holidays."
Just more religious ignorance.
What everybody should do is shut the fuck up and enjoy the free/paid days off from work. I sure do.
BAM!
DO I SMELL A DEBATE BREWING?
Didn't start in first 24 hours, why now?
Also, Darth pretty much spoiled the end, even if there would be one.
Dudes, I'm "Christian" and all that shit, but that first post was made using material that is purely funnystuffs!
Debate if you want, but it's kinda just supposed to be a little comic relief. :P