DG's Tech Support Service

DGMacphee · Tue 28/10/2003 17:31:58

Quote from: TÃ¬mosÃty on Tue 28/10/2003 16:58:30
November 19th 1999, was the last date of our lives to contain only odd digits. How do we tell our future kids what it was like?

Remember when your dad tried to tell you that 50 cents was worth a lot of money back in his day -- In fact, so much money that you could place a deposit on a house? (and if you were a really shrewd shopper, you could buy a whole house with the 50 cents)

Now, remember how you really didn't give a shit?

Your kids are going to be the same way.

La Lore · Tue 28/10/2003 21:02:04

Dear Daniel:

Why the sky is blue?
My boyfriend told me that it is blue because it reflexes the sea, but that should mean that in the middle of Australia the sky should be red...

And... If the water when flushed spins to one side in one hemisphere and to the other in other...
to which side does the water spin in the Equador?

Matt Brown · Tue 28/10/2003 21:03:43

dear DG,
Next world cup. Who's gonna win?

DGMacphee · Wed 29/10/2003 04:22:19

Quote from: La Lore on Tue 28/10/2003 21:02:04
Dear Daniel:

Why the sky is blue?
My boyfriend told me that it is blue because it reflexes the sea, but that should mean that in the middle of Australia the sky should be red...

See, you don't need my help with this one, cause you've obviously figured it out for yourself.

Therefore, your boyfriend is a liar -- punch Farlander in the nads so he can't have any children.

Quote
And... If the water when flushed spins to one side in one hemisphere and to the other in other...
to which side does the water spin in the Equador?

Don't you know anything???

They don't use water in the toilets on the equator -- They use magic turd fairies that whisk your brown logs away and leave a dollor in place.

They look similar to the pic in your signature, only covered in more faeces.

Quote from: Whos that? Its Teh Panda! on Tue 28/10/2003 21:03:43
dear DG,
Next world cup. Who's gonna win?

Everyone is gonna get piss-blind anyway so it really doesn't matter who wins, it's how drunk you get that counts.

I was so wasted last year, I can't even remember who won.

I think it was Tibet or Antarctica or some other country in Europe.

Andail · Wed 29/10/2003 10:58:44

Quote from: DGMacphee on Wed 29/10/2003 04:22:19
I think it was Tibet or Antarctica or some other country in Europe.

HAHAHAHa
That was funny because we all know Antartica and Tibet are not European countries.

Dear mister Goofy McMoron,
How can you come up with all these funny jokes, post after post after post? Are you connected to some sort of funny-bone tickling machine?
Has a pencil penetrated your celebral cortex and stimulated your humour-center?
Have you taken Andy Penis's correspondent course in whackiness? Were you simultaneously granted slippery treats by his grandfather? Are you wearing your magic galosh o' +3 in funniness? Have you sneaked in our bedrooms and opened a can of funny-gas?
HOW O HOW CAN YOU BE SO FUNNY!!=??
Yours, Andail

remixor · Wed 29/10/2003 11:09:22

Dear DGMacphee,

Please do that thing where you're all "And welcome to the AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGS Show!!!!" It's funy and I CRAP MY PANTS EVREY TIEM!!111

ROFL,
Hilarious

DGMacphee · Wed 29/10/2003 12:57:09

Quote from: Andail on Wed 29/10/2003 10:58:44
Dear mister Goofy McMoron,
How can you come up with all these funny jokes, post after post after post? Are you connected to some sort of funny-bone tickling machine?
Has a pencil penetrated your celebral cortex and stimulated your humour-center?
Have you taken Andy Penis's correspondent course in whackiness? Were you simultaneously granted slippery treats by his grandfather? Are you wearing your magic galosh o' +3 in funniness? Have you sneaked in our bedrooms and opened a can of funny-gas?
HOW O HOW CAN YOU BE SO FUNNY!!=??
Yours, Andail

Who said anything about funny???

I'm running a serious tech support service here, pal, and you're ruining all my high-tech and cutting-edge advice with stupid questions!

Stop being a lamer, you n00b!

Quote from: remixor on Wed 29/10/2003 11:09:22
Dear DGMacphee,

Please do that thing where you're all "And welcome to the AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGS Show!!!!" It's funy and I CRAP MY PANTS EVREY TIEM!!111

ROFL,
Hilarious

If you crap your pants everythime I say "AGS Show", then you've obviously got some serious problems.

Luckily, I know a website perfect for your condition:

http://www.babyjamie.com/

Hope it helps!

P.S. AGS SHOW!!!!

remixor · Thu 30/10/2003 00:33:52

Dear Machphee,

Your P.S. just caused me to crap my pants. Can you suggest a good medicine for diarrhea?

DGMacphee · Thu 30/10/2003 01:09:53

Quote from: remixor on Thu 30/10/2003 00:33:52
Dear Machphee,

Your P.S. just caused me to crap my pants. Can you suggest a good medicine for diarrhea?

Yes -- It's called a 'steel-capped boot' and if you can get one of your friends to insert one of these into your rectum with great force, you'll stop yer crapping.

In fact, I can administer this medicine for you right now.

Matt Brown · Thu 30/10/2003 01:36:01

what was the super cool question I was going to ask you that I forgot?

Squinky · Thu 30/10/2003 02:33:51

Dear Dg,

If you had a teenage daughter, which forum member would you least likely want her to date?

Sincerely
-guy who shot himself after his last post

SSH · Thu 30/10/2003 07:18:18

Dear Danny-boy,

Who put the bomp in the bomp-ba bomp-ba bomp?
Who put the ram in the ram-a-lama-ding-dong?

Ishmael · Thu 30/10/2003 07:19:52

Those Napoleon XIV lyrics?

From 'Marching to Bedlam'...

DGMacphee · Thu 30/10/2003 07:21:14

Quote from: Whos that? Its Teh Panda! on Thu 30/10/2003 01:36:01
what was the super cool question I was going to ask you that I forgot?

Maybe that one.

Quote from: Squinky on Thu 30/10/2003 02:33:51
Dear Dg,

If you had a teenage daughter, which forum member would you least likely want her to date?

I'd least likely want her dating me, as I'd go to jail if she did.

Luckily, I don't play the banjo or own a pick-up truck/shotgun, so I don't see that happening.

H'yuck h'yuck!

Barcik · Thu 30/10/2003 13:34:42

Dear DG,

What is the square root of 1059438543?

DGMacphee · Thu 30/10/2003 14:03:20

Quote from: SSH on Thu 30/10/2003 07:18:18
Dear Danny-boy,

Who put the bomp in the bomp-ba bomp-ba bomp?
Who put the ram in the ram-a-lama-ding-dong?

Is this some new hip-hop lingo that all the kids are using?

I don't know what you're actually talking about here BRO but you and your HOMMIES better KEEP IT REAL very soon before I WHIP OUT MY FORTY-FIVE and POP A CAP IN YOUR ARSE!

I am ALL THAT AND A BAG OF CHIPS!

Quote from: Barcik on Thu 30/10/2003 13:34:42
Dear DG,

What is the square root of 1059438543?

OMG!!1! WRONG FOURM!1!

http://www.agsforums.com/yabb/index.php?board=10;action=display;threadid=9250;start=0#msg112324

Rincewind · Thu 30/10/2003 14:08:41

Dear DG MacPhee:

Here's a question me and my friends have been pondering on for quite a long time:
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Please help us, we have the woodchuck already, but how much wood should we chuck?

Brigadeer F.M Marwood (Retired)

DGMacphee · Thu 30/10/2003 15:02:51

Quote from: Rincewind on Thu 30/10/2003 14:08:41
Dear DG MacPhee:

Here's a question me and my friends have been pondering on for quite a long time:
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Please help us, we have the woodchuck already, but how much wood should we chuck?

Brigadeer F.M Marwood (Retired)

YOU NEED TO UPGRADE YOUR COMPUTER!

BUY SOME RAM AND A DVD DRIVE!

Czar · Thu 30/10/2003 20:16:28

Dear DG, why did Rincewind ask the question I wanted to ask? Is it because of the time difference? or just because he lives out in that country (when you go to Europe, but then you take the left turn)?

Hobbes · Thu 30/10/2003 20:26:48

Dear DG,

The past few weeks I've been dreaming about you in a sexual kinda way. I find your manly advice rather attractive...

...is there hope for me?