While pondering on the merits of courses of action towards a goal, I decided to try applying it into the next game I make. I've been making plans for other parts, but I just can't for the life of me think of an evil way to acquire eggs. Any ideas?
Quote from: Technocrat on Wed 13/04/2011 15:17:45
While pondering on the merits of courses of action towards a goal, I decided to try applying it into the next game I make. I've been making plans for other parts, but I just can't for the life of me think of an evil way to acquire eggs. Any ideas?
That's easy. Kill the bird the eggs belong to, or it won't let you take them.
The first thing that comes into my mind there:
(http://www.goaste.com/goaste/words/goblins/gobliins4.jpg)
:=
Gobliins are the best. :)
The obtaining an egg bit in Kuma Story was also pretty evil. You could use it as a template.
Lots of people collect rare and endangered birds' eggs. That's pretty evil.
What if you have to woo the chicken? Romance her and make her think she's the only chicken in the world for you. So she lays a perfect egg... just for you. Then you take the egg and callously tell her you never cared about her at all. You were only in it for the eggs, breaking her tiny, chicken heart. That seems like a pretty rotten thing to do. :=
Chloroform. Once the woman is unconscious roll her over onto her stomach and, using a [minimum] 8" syringe, do a little ovary invasion. You should be able to harvest several eggs before the chloroform wears off. I suggest taking several that way you can keep a few, and sell some to the black-market and make some serious cash. They can go for up to 30,000USD (espcially if the woman has green eyes).
Important caveat; if the woman saw your face before the chloroform rendered her unconscious you'll need to kill her (wait till after retrieving the eggs). To prevent this (if you haven't the stomach for it) I recommend wearing a mask while doing the deed.
Er.... are we talking about chickens or women now? I'm confused. There's no way I'd pay $30K for a chicken egg, even if the hen that (would have) laid it did have green eyes. Anyway, the surgical approach is definitely somewhat evil, but I think for good measure the chicken eggs should be replaced with something diabolical. Like crocodile eggs, so that the hapless chicken will lay them, hatch them and nurture the babies until they eat her. That would be evil. Or maybe a grenade with the pin pulled out, so that when the chicken lays it the safety lever is released and then seven seconds later.... BOOM! That would be really evil.
Darth, I think I may have just found me a new partner in egg-stealing crime. You interested? :=
How about a sheet of glass? Birds are always flying full speed into a window and dying or knocking themselves out. Every time you try to grab the eggs, the bird swoops down and pecks at your hands/face. Simply setup a sheet of glass beside the nest and the eggs are all yours; hoping the bird actually hits the glass, that is. :P
In order to speed up the egg-laying process, you have to inject the chicken with a special 'egg-quickening serum', but you happen to know that the side-effect of using such a serum will cause the chicken a lot of pain and it will eventually die once the eggs have been laid... and to make things more evil, in order to get to the chicken coup, you must kill a lonely old farmer.
[vegan] The way we acquire eggs from battery hens is pretty evil too. [/vegan]
(http://www.treehugger.com/chickens-in-cages.jpg)
What Ali said. Just walk into a store and buy a carton.
Coerce Fantastic Mr Fox into getting them for you. By tying up his babbies in a sack.
Boris, Bunce and Bean,
One short, one fat, one lean,
These horrible crooks,
Though different in looks,
Are nonetheless equally mean.
You could just commit some sort of phone fraud on an elderly hen....
Or impersonate a suave rooster, marry her, then immediately divorce and sue her for egg custody. Since you have more financial resources than her it's not a fair fight in the courts, and eventually you break her will.....
Or maybe you have a deflated volleyball and a happy free-range chicken and have to combine the two....
....All this evil scheming is keeping me up at night. Have you come to any decision yet?