Do Zombies need to crap?

[Squinky]

Man, I haven't posted here in so long, hopefully this isn't considered too goofy.

But I have been thinking about zombies lately, watched "The Walking Dead" a good bit. So that might be the origin of this question.

Regardless of the zombie type depicted in a piece of fiction (Walkers, Runners/ Living infected or Reanimated Dead) they always are just barely sentient and are driven by a desire to kill and eat the living.

They don't use tools, they are basically pretty stupid right?

I can't see them dropping their pants and crouching down, and if so, would they bother to pull them back up? Or do they crap themselves?

Should more realistic movies show zombies shuffling with pants around their legs?

[Wyz]

That's a good one!
Well erm,... I guess they eat so they must get rid of the waste materials, but I don't think they'll be having proper bowel movements. not I figure they must have different ways. Maybe they sweat it out as some gooey substance that ends up dripping and oozing from their bodies finding its way on the pavement.
Or maybe they regurgitate a little while after they're done feeding and throw up the little pieces of undevoured tissue and bone fragments and leaving piles of vomit on the ground.
Little do I know, but those would be my theories.

[Wonkyth]

Eh, they probably just vomit instead.

[Ryan Timothy B]

Yeah, I think zombies do crap themselves. They're always filthy and walk with a limp. You'd walk with a limp too if you had a few pounds of gooey shite in your paint leg.  8)

[Darth Mandarb]

Oh señor Squinky ... how I have missed thee!!

Zombies are definitely covered in shit.  I can't stand the smell of them.

[Stupot]

Zombies wear nappies, everyone knows that...

[Baron]

   C'mon people, look at the clues.  Zombies don't drink a lot of water, their food source is high in fiber (especially brains, but also skull bits), and they walk really funny.  I don't think Zombies crap.  I think they're bunged up something awful.  They just keep packing 'er in until one day....  BOOM!  Crap and zombie bits spray out for a twenty meter radius like some sort of hell-sent 200 lb water balloon.  Try picking that out of your teeth.
    But rarely is a single zombie that successful at hunting down suitable prey species so it's a rare occurrence, not yet caught on film.  Thus it's understandable that most people are still confused about the subject.   

[limeTree]

I think zombies don't eat much at all. At least the one I've met! The conventional zombie is slow, and stupid as someone said so they don't loose as much energy while roaming around with no obvious reason. Now the reason why they bite people might be purely killer instinct or rather survival instinct. By that I mean the virus within them is the trigger that makes them bite and scratch and so on.. That way the virus can reproduce and spread. If they ate the poor guy all the way to the bone how will he arise? As a skeleton? (If that were true I reckon the same question we ask ourselves today would never have to be asked in regards to the skeleton)

So they chew and swallow bits and pieces now and then just to keep them going( This is a zombie that lives in a better economy world, if there was a food shortage he would devour even the bones)

I vote they vomit now an then when the camera is not rolling

[Igor Hardy]

Zombies are a metaphor and as such they don't need to trouble themselves with bodily functions and other mundane matters.

[Dualnames]

They only maintain the basic functionality of a human's brain, so if they want to eat mainly that means they act like a baby, all a baby wants is eat, sleep and shit. However since the zombies don't sleep because they have this ULTRA hunger for food, that means they probably never shit either.

[Squinky]

If they ate the poor guy all the way to the bone how will he arise? As a skeleton? (If that were true I reckon the same question we ask ourselves today would never have to be asked in regards to the skeleton)

Thats another problem I have with them zombies

They seem to always rip people to shreds....thus ruining their possible offspring.

I'm going with the vomit thing, it sounds suitably gross as well.



Oh, and I missed you too Darth

[Igor Hardy]

Thats another problem I have with them zombies  

They seem to always rip people to shreds....thus ruining their possible offspring.

Zombies seem to manage quite well getting themselves partners to mate with. Watch the superb documentary film Braindead - it's all there!

[Calin Leafshade]

All of this raises a perhaps even more poignant quiestion.

Do vampires pee?

[Igor Hardy]

All of this raises a perhaps even more poignant quiestion.

Do vampires pee?

Why wouldn't they pee?

[Dualnames]

All of this raises a perhaps even more poignant quiestion.

Do vampires pee?

AHAHAHAHA, this got me laughing like nothing. Seriously ! 

[Snake]

Squinky you son of a bitch!

I know, man, I haven't gotten back to you yet on your last PM... I will!

Or maybe they regurgitate a little while after they're done feeding and throw up the little pieces of undevoured tissue and bone fragments and leaving piles of vomit on the ground.

I'll go with this one as well.

[Shane 'ProgZmax' Stevens]

Well, if you want to get technical then, sure.  Beyond the point of death, when the internal organs start decomposing a corpse will evacuate its bowels.  The main problem with most mainstream zombie films is they rarely address the fact that the organs are in various stages of putrefaction, making their bellies giant, methane and nasty filled potential explosives.  Morticians will syphon off this gas as well as suck out most of the organs to prevent them from bloating during open casket funerals because the skin could easily split open and then you'd be inhaling stuff that would choke a camel dead.

The point?  Zombies would HAVE TO fart massively to prevent themselves from bloating and popping open at the seams.

I just want to add I hold the copyright on 'Farting Zombies Cut Loose' and 'Attack of the Zombie Farts' just in case you bastards are getting any ideas.

[Anian]

Well skin does and would even more decompose on a zombie. They wouldn't bloat up cause surely a part of them would make a hole in the "human baloon husk". But yes, the waste would have to go somewhere, whatever form it was in.

Another thing is that vomiting sounds like a genuine symptom of the disease, especially at the early stages of being infected. If we use the "infected" theory of zombies (28 days later, L4D, new Dawn of the dead etc.) you could compare the infection to some other diseases. First thing I can think of is rabies, some forms of it actually change your brain chemistry and function - animals become more aggresive and try to bite, you get thirsty etc. - that's the disease trying to spread with saliva. Even if you take a common illness like cold or similar, which spread on a more basic system - your body is trying to get rid of the bacteria/virus, but with coughing the diesase stimulates you to spread it.
...anyway, vomiting (especially with organ degeneration and thus mixing blood as well) would be a legitimate way of the infection spreading, as would biting other people. On that note if zombies vomit, there would very little to actually digest. But I think we can all agree in any case that the a zombie infection outbreak would not smell nice.

[Squinky]

The point?  Zombies would HAVE TO fart massively to prevent themselves from bloating and popping open at the seams.

Which  would totally ruin the the suspense when the hero is groping around in the dark

Snake!!!
Don't worry about getting back to my PM, it's all cool.

[RickJ]

Holy shite! 

Who else would disappear for a decade and then on their return make it there first order of business to  ask if zombies need to carp!   

Now I know why for the past several years people have been asking why (or saying that) the forums ain't what they used to be.  Man I didn't think zombie crap could make me feel so nostalgic.  LoL 

Anyway glad to see you back Squinky.  I am sitting on the edge of my seat waiting for you next post or comment.  The suspense is killing me.