Ivor teh engine poster

[m0ds]

Hey guys. Well I know a lot of people here are good at art & design and like nothing more than a random challenge. Well I have one for you today.

I'm part of a local railway society & I've recently been added to their mailing list to keep updated of any work going on & events. Someone made a poster for their opening season event of "Ivor The Engine" which is a famous childrens story loco.

I'm looking for someone to just give a poster a quick makeover - blow these people away a bit! I was tempted to have a go, but I'd have done the same thing as the maker of the original - built it in MS Word.

Here's the original, it's in PowerPoint I'm afraid. And it's 6mb.

http://www.screen7.co.uk/junc/ivor.ppt

As I'm sure you're aware small towns & villages aren't often fully adapted to the technological world, and these MS Word style posters appear all over the place. But what this railway needs is a bit of a stylish image, and I know someone here can probably achieve that and in a small amount of time!

I'm afraid there's no real prize for doing it other than the fact it will be stuck up in most towns in Oxon, Berks & Bucks - maybe more. You're welcome to put "Poster by..." in small on it somewhere

Oh and before you ask I'm not a trainspotter!! But I've always had a special place for the railway in my town, which in its heyday was used as a kind of "layby" for the royal train to stay overnight, often with royalties on board! I used to spend a lot of time helping out when I was younger & more recently I've tried to become more involved. Especially since I lived with my friend and her twins & they loved trains...lol. Still,I'm more of a behind-the-scenes kind of guy.

The thing with this is that the PPT poster sparked a great debate, and the guy thats supposed to be the society's chairman is acting very strangely about it all. So I want to shut the guy up with an amazing poster.

If you can do it, go for it. If not, just let this thread burn. I just thought I'd ask. If anyone can give it a makeover within a day or so that'd be truly amazing. If you DO want to have a go there is one bit of information that needs to be included.

The Donkey is called Bluebell and she/he is a particular friend of Ivor. At the moment it says "Donkeys" but it needs to stress the name Bluebell and her friends, ie; "'Meet Bluebell's Friends from the Island Farm Donkey Sanctuary". Other than that, go mad.

Edit: Oh, you'll also notice theres a buttload of text. So I guess the challenge is fitting all of it in to your design if possible

I'll need it in PDF, if you can post a gif/jpg up here it'd be really useful for crit. But if you just want to contact me in PM thats fine!

For more info on the railway the URL can be found in the poster

Cheers in advance!

Mods

[Andail]

I think a first step would be to clean up some text there. Professional posters rarely have that much information, instead they try to make the viewers curious and inspire them to find out more about the happening.

The poster at this stage is just a clutter of text-snippets in so many shapes and colours it makes you nauseous.

One option would be to have one poster, and then a little information folder with more text, that could lie around tourist information stands and whatnot.

[m0ds]

Yep I agree. I'd be happy to see loads of text taken out. You're right a decent poster cannot have that much text. Oh and funnily, I had a feeling you'd be the only person to post/comment, Andail!! Cheers

[Misj']

Professional posters rarely have that much information, instead they try to make the viewers curious and inspire them to find out more about the happening.

That actually depends on the kind of professional poster as well as its purpose. The focus of advertisement-posters is to make the viewer curious and to seduce them. On the other hand information-posters like for example scientific posters tend to focus on content rather than attraction. Such posters are not (by definition) less professional but have a different purpose and thus a different presentation.

The biggest problems with this poster isn't the amount of information but:
1. a lack of focus: the reader is not guided through the information given in the poster.
2. a lack of unity: neither within its regions, nor the poster as a whole.
3. a lack of highlights: it is unclear which information is more important (the general information) and which information is less important (details that only concern people who are interested).

Some of these things are caused by bad colour-handling, a wrong use of big and small fonts, an unbalanced design (two pictures both in the same area). The amount of information itself isn't the problem though; it is actually quite easily manageable within an A4-poster. The problem is though, that from the looks of it the creator of the poster didn't know what his message was, and what he wanted to tell the reader. Also - but that is my personal opinion - I think the donkey is a far better selling-point than the locomotive (despite its memorable signature whistles).

Oh and funnily, I had a feeling you'd be the only person to post/comment, Andail!! Cheers

<sigh> Why doesn't anyone like me...

Anyway...to proof some of the points raised above

The approach taken when designing an informative poster has similarities but also differences to the more commonly seen advertising posters (I, myself, have more experience in informative posters though).

alternative version in A4-format.

(click image for larger version)


I decided to keep the design quite tight, group things together that belong to the same message (for example the words 'all aboard' and the boarding table), and use a single colour as the base (PANTONE 276). All the text from the original poster is present on this one as well, but in a non-cluttered, non-screaming way. Also, I used A4 because that's what I'm used to, and a free, but more interesting, font.

On the down side, I think the design lacks a feeling of cosiness, which I would expect is something you'd want. Also, I expect the original creator to dislike my shift in focus (little more donkey, little less train). Colour is a matter of taste, but I removed the colour theme of the train from the poster (which I found interesting but didn't work too well), and I don't think the chairman will fancy that. Combined coloured and deo-toned images might also not be to everyone's fancy. There are some minor errors throughout the poster that I didn't have time to correct. And finally, I didn't test the readability of the poster when printed...which is an important step that usually 'forces' me to change things.

Anyway, my main purpose to make this was to show, that the amount of text is not the problem here...it's the way the message is presented. There are many reasons why I, myself, wouldn't use this poster in an actual situation, though.

Misj'

Ps. Thumbnail version of the original poster can be found here (with over-saturated greens for some reason).

Edit: Added everything from the second quote onwards.

[Andail]

You certainly have some good points there, and my theory on information may need some revising

But still...your poster sure looks nice, but isn't it still a bit cluttered? To my mind, it looks like a newspaper page full of various ads. It's hard to spot the main event, so to speak, or even the name of the event.

Design-wise, I think you've nailed it, except for the text "shadow" (the magnified, low-contrast background text) which has this generic web-design feeling to it.

So, either way, it's a vast improvement.

[Misj']

But still...your poster sure looks nice, but isn't it still a bit cluttered? To my mind, it looks like a newspaper page full of various ads. It's hard to spot the main event, so to speak, or even the name of the event.

I know what you mean...but the problem was: I didn't have any idea what the main event of the original poster was (take the ride or meet the donkey?), and how each of the presented aspects fitted within it (for example, is the bouncy castle ride on the back of the donkey?). In this design I decided to keep all information of the original poster even if I felt they didn't add anything to the story. To be honest I wanted to get rid of almost everything below the donkey because they felt like shallow one-liners of a cheap salesman...they are - as I feel it - also the main reason why it feels like various ads in a newspaper.

As for cluttered...it is actually quite empty for an informative poster...of course I will have to admit that most of these informative posters are badly designed, but 'cluttered' has a different meaning for such posters than for advertising posters. This is of course a lame excuse because in the end it doesn't matter how you define 'cluttered'...if the message does not come across well to the reader it's not a good design. And if the reader doesn't know where to look it's cluttered.

Design-wise, I think you've nailed it, except for the text "shadow" (the magnified, low-contrast background text) which has this generic web-design feeling to it.

Yeah, I originally placed them only at the 'get aboard' to imitate the yell of the train-driver. But because I don't like design-gimmicks that are present only on a single location in a poster (and thus detaching that area from the rest), I decided to include it at multiple places. Wasn't too happy with it myself either, but didn't want to get rid of its original purpose on my poster (maybe I should have).



I did a very quick, very bad mock-up where I removed all the one-liners, and shifted the focus towards the donkey (I really don't care about the train...the only reason to ride the train is to see the donkey. Donkeys are fun!) to give an idea of an alternative layout-order (not the design itself of course)...I didn't have the original file with me, so I copy-pasted form the JPG to make it look reaaaaly professional :



The reader is more or less guided through the poster:
1. The starting point is the Bluebell, and I 'force' an emotional attachment by 'asking' the question:
2. Do you like the donkey? - do you want to meet the donkey? - If the answer is Yes - and why wouldn't it be - the reader should be guided towards the two next questions*
3. When can you meet her (dates), and what do you have to do to meet her (get aboard Ivor)? - But where and when can I get aboard Ivor?
4. You can find out in our time-table.

This way I tell a complete story starting with Bluebell (the pitch) and ending with boarding the train (the sell).

* Moving the dates and Ivor-the-Engine-title to the top of the page will screw up this flow in the poster, and leaves the reader guessing and searching for the answer to the questions I just raised.

A different focus would require a different layout of course.

[m0ds]

Misj', I certainly like what you've done with the poster and reading your comments and reasons as to why the original may not have "flowed" is very useful for me! I've been able to pass some of your reasons on and hopefully they'll follow them in the future

The first version is probably my favourite, the second version with the much larger donkey is good too but there's something empty about it. None the less I've sent both versions to the powers that be so you could well find me asking you for the full A4 version in a day or two!!

Gotta hand it to you for putting in the time and effort though dude!

There are a couple of spelling mistakes, that will need to be corrected (on both versions)

Firstly, they are not The Easter Sunday Donkeys, silly They are Donkeys for people to SEE on Easter Sunday!!

Secondly it's the Island Farm Donkey Sanctuary, Island Farm being the place they are from.

And finally right at the bottom it says "With our without notice". Our should be OR

Once those minor changes are in place on both versions, I think we have a cracking poster!

Seriously though, good job -- I was looking for a funky design & you delivered it.

Next time I will expect YOU to be the only one to reply to me, Misj' !!


Mods

[Shane 'ProgZmax' Stevens]

Is Ivor the engine the centerpiece or is it the donkey, because in Misj's versions I keep being drawn to the damn thing's face as it stares endlessly at me!  I'd personally find a better, more dramatic photo of Ivor to work with and make it the largest thing in the image, right at the top (but just below a banner announcing its return to service).  And then you can focus on the kid stuff like the donkey petting and jumping up and down on inflatable castles for no apparent reason.

[Misj']

Firstly, they are not The Easter Sunday Donkeys, silly

Well...They should be! - From now on Bluebell and the gang are called the Easter Sunday Donkeys. It's like the polecats, but with donkeys.

Is Ivor the engine the centerpiece or is it the donkey, because in Misj's versions I keep being drawn to the damn thing's face as it stares endlessly at me!

Yeah...that wasn't clear to me in the original poster because I didn't know what the pitch was...were they selling me the train or the donkey. So I decided to shift towards the donkey...who stares endlessly at you until spend your money.

But you're right that focussing on the train-adventure and then all the fun things you can do might be a better pitch (might require additional images though). But whom should the poster address? - The children or their parents? - I don't think many children will find my version inspiring, adventurous, or interesting.

[m0ds]

Indeed, what exactly is the focus? Or rather what should it be? The answer my friend, is blowing in the wind...

If they like your current editions then I can certainly ask for more images of the loco itself. But what you've done on the donkey front is perfect. I'll be in touch. My emails have gone eerily silent...

[m0ds]

Sweet! Ok, as you'd expect Misj' - they were very impressed, and they'd like to use poster version 1; http://www.2dadventure.com/ags/Bluebell_bg.jpg

This is because I've been told the engine IS the main focus and the donkeys are only there for ONE day (Easter Sunday).

So I'll reiterate the few wording changes that are needed on that design;
1. With our without notice should read with or without

Edit - in fact, you may want to double check that whole bottom left bit and maybe copy and paste the text from the original. I also noticed Operated should read Operate

2. The Easter Sunday Donkeys from the Island Donkey Sanctuary will be along to see our visitors

That sentence needs rewording, to stress that the donkeys will ONLY be there on Easter Sunday. For example;

Easter Sunday
Donkeys from the Island Farm Donkey Sanctuary will be...

or
Donkeys from the Island Farm Donkey Sanctuary will be here to see our visitors on Easter Sunday.

I'm sure you get what I mean dude

From there, I'll need
- a full size jpeg
- a full sized pdf (if you can)
- a full sized edition in some amazing designer format for the professional printers, photoshop file, whatever it is etc... not sure what the preffered format is these days.

Once that's done and they go up, I'll take a few photos so you can see their useage. I've also been told now it might go into some magazines/papers in the local area, yaya!

Thanks for all your help!!

[Misj']

Sweet! Ok, as you'd expect Misj' - they were very impressed, and they'd like to use poster version 1

This is because I've been told the engine IS the main focus and the donkeys are only there for ONE day (Easter Sunday).

Ok, I've made a adapted version of the poster, where I've shifted the focus back to the engine. The image of the donkey is made smaller so she won't stare at ProgZ all that much anymore. I've added a notification that the donkey is present on Easter Sunday.

Edit - in fact, you may want to double check that whole bottom left bit and maybe copy and paste the text from the original. I also noticed Operated should read Operate

I corrected the errors mentioned, but didn't spell or fact check the poster (beyond the obvious), so it would be good to do that before I hand you the final version. You know more about the subject than I do...and I'm lazy

Final versions (greyscale- and colour-version):
   
-- click images for enlarged version (25% of original size) --

By the way, the backdrop-image was taken from their website, so I assume they have the rights to it.

I haven't printed the poster myself, so I would - strongly - advise you to do so, to ensure that all text is readable (at the desired distance).

From there, I'll need
- a full size jpeg
- a full sized pdf (if you can)
- a full sized edition in some amazing designer format for the professional printers, photoshop file, whatever it is etc... not sure what the preffered format is these days.

- Full size JPEG (quality-setting 100%)
    - colour: 3.11MB
    - grey: 2.46MB
- Full size PDF (pre-press quality, no bleed, embedded fonts)
    - colour: 3.38MB
    - grey: 837KB

Every professional printer will accept (and commonly prefer) PDF.

Once you've checked everything in this poster (and accept the changes I've made in focus, text on the donkies etc) PM me for an FTP-location or your eMail address, and I'll send you the final files in full-size.

Thanks for all your help!!

It was my pleasure...but next time I should really stop doing this for free.

[m0ds]

Awesome, thank you! I'm satisfied. I did quite like the large focus of Bluebell on the original poster but I guess it was kind of over-powering the Ivor the Engine part. As soon as I'm certain the people in charge are happy with your modifications, I'll PM you for those files! Spelling and wording is much improved now, I don't see any further changes being needed, but do wait on my PM just in case! Thanks again! The best things in life are free