Terran's 3rd Annual Look at Future Movies

[TerranRich]

Well, well, well, peeps, it's that time once again! What time is it, you ask? Well, 12:35am Eastern Standard Time...

...

OH! Right! THAT time...it's time for the Annual Look at Future Movies, with your host, TerranRich!

(For last year's Look at Future Movies, clicky clicky.)

So, without further adoodoo, here are the movies scheduled for release from 2006 on! If you know of any movies I've left out, or wish to add to what I post below, please feel free to do so. I will list the main actors, plot, and organize them by year of release, starting with...

2006
The A-Team
Four veterans, framed for a crime they didn't commit, help people in trouble while on the run from the military.
Rumored Cast: Gene Hackman as Hannibal, Guy Pearce as Face, Sam Rockwell as Murdoch, and Jamie Foxx as B.A.
Er? I never watched the A-Team TV show, so I'm not following this very much. Might be interesting to see.

Aqua Teen Hunger Force: The Movie
OMFG! This will totally rock. I LOVE the cartoon, and this should be great.

Back to School
A remake of the 80's comedy, where a hedonistic business man enrolls in college to inspire his son â€" and for the good times.
Starring: Cedric the Entertainer.
Why does Cedric the Entertainer have to take good, old movies and shit on them? Honeymooners was shat on, he was in that National Lampoon's Family Vacation rip-off, and now he's shitting on Rodney Dangerfield's legacy. Blech!

Bambi & the Great Prince of the Forest and Bambi II (Video)
Er? The first one is being advertised as a "mid-quel", whatever the hell that means (it means it takes place in the middle of the first one), and then there's a sequel. We're sequel-happy!

Basic Instinct 2
Basically the first one, only 13 years later. Pfft.

Bean 2
Yes! I loved the first movie, as well as the TV series, and this should only be better, IMHO.

Bruce Almighty 2
Heh, get this: it was originally titled "The Passion of the Ark". WTF? "Bruce I'm making you God again." - "Okay, cool." (Bruce messes up, God fixes it all) - "I've learned my lesson!"

By the Sword: Conspiracy
Er? What's that you say? Yes, that's right. I'm taking this opportunity to officially reveal to everyone that I'm re-starting work on BTS. Revamped plot, improved story & puzzles, the whole deal.

Carmen Sandiego
Story of the famed criminal.
Several people are listed as possbly being Carmen Sandiego, including Eva Mendes and Famke Janssen. I'm still looking forward to this one, as I loved the games as a kid.

Charlotte's Web
The usual plot.
Starring: Dakota Fanning as Fern, Andre 3000 as Elwyn, Kathy Bates as Bitsy, Steve Buscemi as Rat Templeton, etc.
Dakota Fanning? Should I be surprised? If you ever need a kid in your movie...Dakota Fanning's your actress! I swear to God, they don't hire any other child actors besides her anymore. Either way, I'm still excited about Steve Buscemi as a cartoon voice.

Curious George
Will Ferrell stars as The Man in the Yellow Hat, a gentleman who looks after his pet monkey - an inquisitive and wonderful creature whose enthusiasm often gets the best of him.
Starring: Drew Barrymore as ?, Will Ferrel as The Man in the Yellow Hat, etc.
This should be interesting. It's categorized as an animation/adventure, but not a family movie. Neato.

Daddy Day Camp
As I reported last year, this one is a sequel to Daddy Day Care. The first one was a really good movie, I'm eager to see this one.

Day of the Dead
Wheeeee!

Dirty Harry (Video Game)
As tough detective "Dirty" Harry Callahan, you must navigate the streets of San Francisco and crush the scum of the streets from creating havoc and crime.
Starring: Of course, Clint Eastwood as Dirty Harry.
A video game? Of Dirty Harry? I'm in.

Final Destination 3
Okay, completely different cast this time around. So it's nothing like the first two. Then why make it a sequel? Ask Hollywood.

Get Smart
Yes! I used to love watching reruns of Get Smart on Nickelodeon when I was a kid! So far, only Steve Carell as Maxwell Smart. I think that's a perfect role for Carell. He looks like Smart, in a way, and would play him perfectly. Oh yeah, it's written by none other than Mel Brooks.

He-Man
Hmm. I was never really into this cartoon as a kid, but this seems interesting. They're having some model-turned-actor as He-Man, and that's all that's listed.

I'll Always Know What You Did Last Summer
GAAH!! Give me a frickin' break already! And coming in 2008: "I'll Seriously Never Ever EVER Forget What You Did Fourteen Summers Ago Because It Really Kinda Sucked"

I Dream of Jeannie
Kate Hudson as Jeannie. Kate Hudson? Meh.

Indiana Jones 4
Aaaaaand let the jokes begin!

Jurassic Park IV
Seriously. It's been in pre-production since 2003.

Kung Pow 2: Tongue of Fury
Considering I never actually watched the first Kung Pow, perhaps I should before watching this one.

LOL
Don't know what it's about, I just thought it was interesting that they finally named a movie after Internet slang. Coming in 2007: "LOL 2: ROFLMFAO OMFG!!!111" starring Andy Penis

Metroid
Based on the hit video game, the story follows the origin of the bounty hunter, Samus Aran, and her adventures battling the insidious life-sucking Metroids and their controlling force, Mother Brain.
Another movie based on a video game. Let's see how this one fares...

Miami Vice
Vice detectives James Crockett and Ricardo Tubbs take on the Florida drug world.
Starring: Pretty boy Colin Farrell as Det. James "Sonny" Crockett, Jamie Foxx as Det. Ricardo Tubbs...wait a minute...
wasn't Tubs...eh, forget it.

Mission: Impossible III
Starring: Tom Cruise as Ethan Hunt, Ving Rhames as Luther Stickell, Laurence Fishburne, Jonathan Rhys-Meyers, etc.
Nice! I want to see this one, because, let me tell you, the first two kicked my ass!

Mrs. Doubtfire 2
Sequel to the smash hit 1993 film sees Robin Williams return as the man who disguises himself as a elderly woman with a dodgy Scottish accent.
Starring: Robin Williams as Daniel Hillard / Mrs. Euphegenia Doubtfire
What's up with waiting 13 years to release a sequel? Also, I wonder if any of the original cast (Sally Field, to name one) will be in this one.

The Passion of the Clerks
Ten years later, the story of Quick Stop convenience store employees Dante and Randal continues.
Ten years later? God, find new jobs!

The Pink Panther
A prequel to the 1964 Peter Sellers original film, where the detective must solve the murder of a famous soccer coach and find out who stole the infamous Pink Panther diamond.
Geez, for a second I thought the Pink Panther would actually be in it.

Police Academy
Whheeeee!

Porky's
A remake of the classic 80s sex comedy, where a group of high schoolers seek revenge on a nightclub owner and his sheriff brother.
Hmm. Howard Stern is the execute producer on this one.

Rambo IV
LMAO! Sheesh.

Revenge of the Nerds
Anyone else getting tired of 80's remakes?

Rock 'n' Roll High School
No? Not yet? (Stern's remaking this one too.)

Rush Hour 3
Now here's a sequel I want to see. The first two were hilarious, this one should be great as well.

Tekken
Based on the #1 selling video game, "Tekken" is a high-octane action movie about a young man who discovers he holds a great power and must battle a team of elite fighters who will stop at nothing in order to get it from him.
Even better than the Mario Brothers movie! (Which I'm quite fond of, by the way.)

Terminator 4
Okay, they come in threes: old actors reprising old roles. Leave it alone, Gavunna Ahnold!!!

Untitled Star Wars TV Series
Neato. Plot unknown: Will most likely focus on new characters and be set between Episode III and Episode IV.

Untitled Mad Max 4 Film
Mad Max, finally with us in his fourth incarnation, still wanders the wastelands of a post-apocalyptic Australian Outback doing absolutely nothing...just...wandering...

X-Men 3
I'm not a big action movie fan, but this one looks okay.

Young Hannibal
The best pre-sequel ever made! (Because it's the only pre-sequel I know of.)



2007

The Butterfly Effect 2
Ashton Kutcher's second attempt at trying to act serious. (Okay, really, I liked TBE.)

Captain American
We're in the age of comic books turning into movies. Fantastic 4, Hellboy...

Fahrenheit 9/11½
In the wake of the 2004 United States Presidential election, Michael Moore continues to examine what happened to the United States after September 11...
Whee. I'm just sad that many people dismissed the first movie as nothing but propaganda and lies. The die-hard Bush supporters make me want to punch a wall.

The Fast and the Furious 3
Starring...other people.

Halo
Yes! Too bad it won't be like the Red vs Blue videos.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Seriously, by the time he does his last movie, Daniel Radcliffe will be 30.

Max Payne
On a personal mission to avenge the deaths of his wife and child, a troubled NYPD cop is framed for murder and finds himself being hunted by the police, the mob, and a ruthless corporation.
Nice! Although it's another video-game-turned-movie, it should be good.

National Treasure 2
What? A sequel? What, is Nicolas Cage going to steal the Constitution next?

Rainbow Six
'Nother video-game-turned-movie.

Shrek 3
When Fiona's dad dies Shrek is supposed to take the crown but Shrek doesn't want the responsibility. So Shrek, Fiona, Donkey and Puss look for a new king. And so far King Arthur is the best they got.
Grrrrrrrrail!?!? I'm sorry, but Justin Timberlake as King Arthur? Like, gag me with a spoon!

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Probably gonna be CGI. There was something...unique about the live-action TMNT. Damn, now I want to see the first 3 movies.

The Three Stooges
Er? A Farrelly Brothers movie set in "World War II era" Los Angeles, three young women with "Rosie the Riveter" type jobs, deal with -- at the defense plant where they work -- an overbearing boss, cheating boyfriends, and Nazi saboteurs.
Um. What?

Toy Story 3
The story follows Buzz Lightyear as he is recalled to Taiwan after a series of malfunctions. Learning of a productwide recall, all the toys in Andy's room, under Woody's leadership, head to Taiwan to save Buzz from doom.
Total Recall!

Under Siege 3
I was wrong. They come in fours.

Untitled Batman Begins Sequel
WTF? Ah, so i was wrong again! Another pre-sequel for our enjoymentness.

Untitled Star Trek Prequel
Just name it already! I love how people are already saying this movie will suck, with no announced plot, cast, or even a title. Idiots.

Wonder Woman
A big-screen adaptation of DC Comics biggest super-heroine.
Rumored Cast: Jessica Alba as Wonder Woman.
Pfft! Yeah, okay.



2008

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
The sixth magical adventure of the young wizard Harry Potter.
By this time, the girl that plays Hermione (Emma Watson) will be old enough for me to bone er, date.

The Simpsons
Guess this means it's over in 3 years.


And that's it! Discuss!

[Bad Voo-doo man]

Nice OMG Aqua Teen Hunger Force the movie?! YUSSS!!!! I LOVE THE CARTOON!!! Woot Woot!!!

[PsychicHeart]

a Simpsons Movie! Cool. There have been rumours about it for a long time now, and it is going to be here soon... well, 2008. Close enough.
a Max Payne Movie? Sweet. Will that take on the plot of the first game, or a new plot involving the Desert Eagle toting' cop?
A Halo game? That would probably be CGI.
Terminator 4? But, won't Arnie have difficulty shuffling his two lives? It'd be like, he just finishes a day of filiming, and then 'You will all die you baaaastards!' in a presidential address.
Yeah, i read about a SW Tv series. Apparently, some of it is being shot here in aus! 
Bruce Almighty 2? Maybe he'll be able to fight Satan! Or.... not.
Finally, a Tekken Movie! Bout' time. But, that will probably just be like the MK movies, but less ooga-booga magic portal stuff?
Cool, good one Terran!

[[Cameron]]

I thought you would have mentioned Sin City 2 and 3 which come out 2007. Spiderman 3 also comes out 2007. Plus there is another Evil Dead sequal and a remake of the original coming out.

[Phemar]

Wow, thanks for this Terran.

I wonder though if they will ever release Indy 4.

[PsychicHeart]

Hmmm... i heard that Fast and Furious 3 was going to be titled
3x Faster, 3x more Furious.
And after your post about The Simpsons movie you add a  . I am guessing you dislike the simpsons. Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?

[CoffeeBob]

Hmmm... i heard that Fast and Furious 3 was going to be titled
3x Crappier, 3x more Shit.

There you go. It looks more correct now.

[Darth Mandarb]

Hollywood is going to fizzle out of my favor if they don't stop shitting out re-makes, comic books, and video-game movies.

Bleh ...

There are some movies coming out that I'm very interested in, but still ... so many of these are just crap.

Porky's, Revenge of the Nerds, Back to School, and Police Academy?  These movies don't need to be remade.  Pointless.

Another Fast & Shitty movie.  The first two sucked ... so let's make a third!!!  Great idea.  Now, once again, all the little turds down here who have sunk every penny they have into making their ugly little cars go fast can go see this movie and then think they're race-car drivers and can go out and cause many accidents.  Bang up idea!!

I'm curious to see what they do with TMNT ... I think they've run their course, but who knows.  An all CG version might have something.

Too many to go through all the crap.

Awesome job Terran!  There are actually quite a few in there I didn't know about!  (and some I wish I still didn't know about )

[monkey0506]

ATHF!  KP: ToF!  Butterfly Effect 2!  HP! HP!  Shrek!  Max Payne!  T3h Simpsons!  Mrs. Doubtfire 2 -- 15 years later -- w00t!

Seriously, some of these movies sound nice.  Some of the above mentioned may have been sarcasm.  But most were movies I genuinely want to see.

[TerranRich]

No, I love the Simpsons. I was starting to add in gratuitous smilies here and there without even realizing it. It took me an hour to compile that list.

Also, did nobody see the Three Stooges movie? What's everybody's take on that one?

[Darth Mandarb]

Also, did nobody see the Three Stooges movie? What's everybody's take on that one?

Well ... I was going to suggest the the three stooges be played by; Bernie Mack, Jammie Foxx, and Cuba Gooding Junior.  You know ... to keep it like the original.

But it appears they're being replaced by women instead ... I'm not too sure about it.  But the Farrelly brothers can pull it off if anybody can.  I'll go see it just 'cause it's a Farrelly bros movie.

[BerserkerTails]

But the Farrelly brothers can pull it off if anybody can. I'll go see it just 'cause it's a Farrelly bros movie.

Agreed. I love the Farrelly brothers.

As for all those movies, I'm so dissapointed with the lack of creativity in there. Seriously, the one movie I'm looking forward to most in the next couple months is ElizabethTown, the new Cameron Crowe movie. At least it's not a remake, or a sequel, or anything.

Some of the movies on that list kill me inside though. Toy Story 3 is being done without Pixar, which is a crime against humanity. Bruce Almighty 2? If it's anything like the first one, which didn't get good until the producers realised halfway through that they couldn't just fill a whole movie of Jim Carrey doing crazy crap and gave it plot, then I'll pass.

As for By The Sword beginning production again, that's basically the best news in this thread.

[monkey0506]

As for By The Sword beginning production again, that's basically the best news in this thread.

Holy crap!  How did I miss that part?

[Haddas]

Well, the police academyh film IS including Bubba Smith. Which makes me happy.
Bubba Smith=Moses Hightower

[Las Naranjas]

Mad Max 4 is cited for release around the same time as Duke Nukem Forever.