I just started a Sir John deans college and feel like a bit of a loner. i left all of my friends behind and i was wondering if anyone could offer me any help withou me having to buy a "how to make friends and influence people" book. IF this is innapropriate then feel free to lock or delete but i saw it as gengen
Well Zooty,
Walk around campus with your head high and eyes alert. Watch people, see what they're doing. If you see people doing an activity that interests you, go over, muster up the confidence to believe in yourself, and speak with them. Be knowledgeable, but not a know-it-all. Be witty, but not offensive. Be funny, but not arm-jangling-jester-ly. Just be yourself; it's the oldest cliched adivce in the book, but it's true. If you know what you like to do, and you know who YOU are (Know Thyself) then you can meet others with a clear mind. Don't worry about what people think, either. Life, seriously, is really too short. It could all end in a blink tommorrow, and you don't have time to take back the things you never did - so just go do them.
From what I see of your posts on the forum, you're obviously a very glib and chatty fellow, at least in your prose. Extend that to your vocal chords, and you'll be fine. Good luck.
Bt
I good advice would be to just be yourself, but that only works if you have a very good personality.
The second best advice would be to take part of many projects and interest groups...it will help you find a social network, which is pretty cruical, unless you're in your hometown
Join some clubs, it's a lot easier than approaching strangers. If you do that, then you're automatically part of a social group with a small membership fee.
At any given college there's probably a video-game group. If it's a large college you can probably join any group you can think of (especially if you're in the US and an ethnic minority).
I'm an electrical engineering major, so I joined the IEEE and a group called E-Kids. I met a lot of other people interested in electronics and in e-kids went around to elementary schools to teach 5th graders about engineering. It was a lot of fun and I met some awesome people.
College is awesome and there are loads of possibilities. Enjoy it as much as you can.
OR you could change your needs according to the environment, not vice-versa.
Meaning, you can become a misanthrope and consider yourself much better than those petty morons all around. This way you'll still be lonely, but happier (and prouder - woohoo!)
Whatever you prefer.
I forgot to add that if you're really into drinking it usually isn't hard to find like-minded folks on frat row. ;)
You could give people cookies.
lol, tanks for all of your advice. A glib and chatty fellow you say? Well, praise indeed. I am kind of getting into this whole thing now. it was a bnig change from being with the same people all of my life to being thrown in at the deep end with random strangers. but everybody is in the same boat and most who i have approached have been friendly and chatty. Ill keep goping and report back if anyone cares!