Hey! I Wrote a Play!

[LGM]

And I directed it too!

Last Saturday the one-act play I wrote and directed was performed along with a few others in a sort of dessert/show thing at my school. Overall it was a great night, but I'm not too sure how people recieved the play. They did like my Silent Movie, though, which was also shown.

So without further ado... Here is a video of the performance. (Careful, it's 23MB AND it's WMV)

The play is entitled "All White" and the script can be found here. (PDF)

The performance went well, but there are some rough spots in the dialogue and several lines were skipped. Also, the lighting wasn't as smooth as I wanted it to be, but that's because the light booth was 50 feet away and there was no sound system for the light guy to hear, causing me to run back to the booth and give cues while sticking my head out the booth window.

Enjoy!

Edit: Oh, I forgot to mention that this was originally supposed to be a film that Iqu and I cooked up a while back. Since then he's dissapeared!

[LGM]

I normally don't condone self-bumpage, but I'd like at least one non-me reply.

[Etcher Squared Games]

In a way it reminds me of the "Cube" movies.  Was there any influence from that?
I read the script as it went along.  What were the (beat) things?  I didn't hear anything like that (probably the limitation of microphone).

[Sinitrena]

Shouldn't this be moved to the critics longue? 

It also reminds me of "cube" but not much.

I liked it. The performance wasn't as good as I expected it after reading the script, but it was good nonetheless. The end, the attack of the man seemed to suddenly to me. I would add a few lines, but I don't know, perhaps that's exactly like you wanted it. When seeing it, I didn't noticed that time should have passed between the scenes, I only noticed it when reading the script.

[Venus]

I've watched the play three times now, at first without the script and then with the script to compare directly.
I'm definitely not an expert on theatre and plays, so every comment and crit I'm gonna make now are simply my opinions and impressions as an ordinary viewer.

Spoiler

When I first watched the play without the script and therefore being in the same position as your audience at that evening, I didn't understand it at all. I didn't even get that it was supposed to be a study of human interaction as mentioned in the script. It just feeled really weird. Especially the lighting was distracting and drew my attention away from the dialogue as I kept asking myself if there was a reason for why it was done like it was done. The woman's character was quite well conveyed to me, but the man was a complete mystery to me throughout the whole play and I didn't understand his extreme reaction in the end at all. Without really knowing where this whole scenario took place, nor any reasons why the characters were there and with the open ending, I was really waiting for the lights to go on again to give me some explanation to all the questions that kept popping up.
Then I read the script and compared it to the performance and I really liked it. It was only then that I finally understood what this whole stuff was about. If I had just read the script, I surely would have judged it to be a nice and interesting play with a good theme. The only thing that I'd have to crit about the script would be that the girl could be a bit more annoying and the man a bit more annoyed by her. I really liked that part, when she was talking and he was commenting sarcastically. It was funny (and received well by the audience) and built up some sort of tension between the characters, but it wasn't enough to lead to such extreme events imo.
What ruined it for me on stage was probably the weird lighting, the skipped lines and the fact that I didn't really notice that they were supposed to be stuck in there together for quite a while (due to some changed lines and the actors sometimes rushing a bit through their text, I thought it was just a couple of days).

[close]

Overall, apart from leaving me puzzled and confused, it seemed to be really interesting when watching it the first time. It's a pity that the actors skipped some lines and that I let myself be so distracted by the lighting. The script is really nice and the theme is interesting and with some small alterations on the performance, future shows will be great!

[LGM]

Thanks so much. You commented on what I was worried about most. Tis a shame we didn't have more time to work on the lighting, it really does add to it when done properly.

Also, the missing lines really affected it. I'm so glad you went and read the script.

Appreicate the time you took! Thanks for the comments.