How DO they come up with it?

monkey0506 · Fri 29/09/2006 22:01:43

I just checked my email...and I got a wonderful letter:

yu_yu80@bk.ru to me    Hide options     2:24 pm (1 hour ago)
From: yu_yu80@bk.ru <yu_yu80@bk.ru>   
Reply-To: zayka_80@bk.ru
To: monkey.05.06@gmail.com
Date: Sep 29, 2006 2:24 PM
Subject: Hello
Reply | Reply to all | Forward | Print | Add sender to Contacts list | Delete this message |
Report phishing | Show original | Message text garbled?

Hi!!!

How are you? My name is Yuliya. I am 26 years old. I live in
Russia, city Yoshkar-Ola. I am cheerful woman, and like to do many things
as sport, camping, go to the cinema, theatre etc. In a word I like to do
all what like all people. I work in marketing structure on sale of cosmetics.
My dream this travel abroad. I know the english language well enough..
I began to study english language approximately one year ago.
I wish tell to you history which have pushed me write to
you. 8 months ago I have got acquainted with the man from other country by
name Kevin. During this time we had good relations. We have understood
that our relations become serious and we have decided to meet in his country.
I wrote the application for reception the visa.
I waited reception of the visa approximately half of year. All time I kept in
touch with Kevin through the internet and often called to each other. I
and Kevin waited reception of the visa to our meeting. I have received
the invitation from the ambassador for reception of the visa.
My director has given me long-term holiday from work and I have gone to
Moscow to receive the visa. I informed good news to Kevin, but he has
answered, that does not want our meeting.
He played with me. He has informed that has the wife with
two children and at all has no plans to meet me. I was not ready to such
turn of events. I could not think what even after 8 months of
acquaintance he can so unscrupulously act with me. Now I am in Moscow
trip to Moscow and reception of visa. I do not want that all was gone
for nothing and will be glad if my visa will be useful to our meeting.
I could arrive already through 4-5 days, but a problem in that that
now I have no man which would like my arrival. Probable it will silly
sound but if you will be interested in a meeting with the good woman I
shall like to meet you sometime soon! As Kevin was dishonest with me I
have decided to find the man which is interested to meet the woman from
Russia. I do not know your ideas about my letter, but it would be fine
if we could meet and have some weeks or months together. On my trip I want to
receive rest from my work and a life in Russia. Also the basic purpose
for the future it is search good men for serious attitudes which go to a
marriage. I have no children, but I want to have children in the future.
I am the mature woman and ready to creation of family with good man. I
do not know what you really search in the future but if we could meet I
shall be happy to discuss with you more about our meeting. What are you
going to do this time? It would be fine if we could meet, do
friendship or more than simply friendship. I shall be happy if you also
have a free time and we could meet soon. I do not know your interests,
but anyhow write to me back and I shall tell to you more about myself.
Write to me all that you want. Maybe we have similar plans and it will
be interesting to us together.

You can write all that you want. Ask any questions which interest you.
Write to me back and I shall tell more about myself and send more my
photos.

Please, write to me back on my regular e-mail: yu_yu80@bk.ru
Have a good day,

Yuliya

I don't know anyone from Russia. I live in Texas, USA. How I'm expected to take this seriously...I don't really know. To me it sounds like your run-of-the-mill scam-in-the-making. I say, sure, come on over, and so she says she needs money? I don't know. I just have a hard time not laughing at this.

I also noticed that the Reply-to address isn't the one the message was sent from. That also struck me as a bit odd.

In any case...it made me smile.

Barbarian · Fri 29/09/2006 22:19:12

I get the same kind of spam crapp all of the time!Ã,Â

Ã,Â Ã,Â Anyways, don't bother to reply to it.Ã,Â They'll just know there's someone live there "taking the bait", and set you up for either massive spammage, or worse, some twisted form of the "Nigerian Scam" (read the "Letters" section there for a good laff) in which they'll try to elicit money out of you somehow.Ã,Â

BTW, some people have actually been murdered via the "Nigerian Scam", in which they go there in person to try and "collect their money" that was promised to them (usually thinking they are going to get Million$ of dollars for free) or to meet their "new business partner"... then they are kidnapped / held-hostage for ransom, and even if the bad guys get what they want (basically every dollar they can squeeze out the victim by any means possible), the poor-schmoo who was kidnapped usually goes "missing", or his dismembered body shows up in a river or some-such.

Anyways, do as Strong-Bad would do... "Ba-leeted!! Urrrp!" (Delete it)Ã,Â

ManicMatt · Fri 29/09/2006 22:35:04

You have spent way more time over this email than they did en-masse emailing it to everyone.

Think about that for a moment!

R4L · Fri 29/09/2006 22:37:13

It sounds like those Nigerian people who try to steal money from you.

monkey0506 · Fri 29/09/2006 22:38:15

I'll hold on to it for laughs. But I'm not going to reply.

And I heard about the Nigerian Scam before. In fact...my uncle works for some sort of overseas shipping company, and once in Nigeria, the freight was unloaded, then the government accused my uncle's company of stealing it. My uncle was actually imprisoned there for a while. :o

[EDIT:]

Matt...it's not nice to post while I'm posting. Anyway...I spent more time laughing over this than they did sending it out to everyone. Think about that!

R4L...quit posting. I'm trying to do it myself!

ManicMatt · Fri 29/09/2006 22:44:48

Quote from: monkey_05_06 on Fri 29/09/2006 22:38:15
Matt...it's not nice to post while I'm posting. Anyway...I spent more time laughing over this than they did sending it out to everyone. Think about that!

Not as much as they will be laughing when some stupid sucker takes up their offer. think about THAT!

Or not. I'm cool.

monkey0506 · Fri 29/09/2006 23:00:51

Quote from: ManicMatt on Fri 29/09/2006 22:44:48Or I'm not cool.

Quite possibly this one.

I posted it here because it made me laugh to think someone actually will take this lame bull crap seriously.

ManicMatt · Fri 29/09/2006 23:03:29

My spam box is cooler than yours.

vict0r · Sat 30/09/2006 01:06:41

Hey, my friends sent you mail too, matt! They send me mail all the time too. I spend hours and hours each day replying to them.

How nice of them to offer you nude pictures of Angelina Jolie!

Pumaman · Sat 30/09/2006 12:24:25

Aww no fair, all the spam I get seems to be about getting stronger erections and pleasing your woman.

voh · Sat 30/09/2006 13:36:18

That's in preparation of the Angelina Jolie spam. Until you finally order some penile enlargement package (pun intended), she won't allow her spam to be sent to you.

What if you have a tiny member? What if it's faulty? What if you can't even please the sultry, plain woman you have now?

How could you ever please Angelina?!

More importantly, even, why the fuck would you want to, anyway. She's pretty darn naff.

MarVelo · Sat 30/09/2006 21:09:32

I constantly get spam from different adresses so it goes to my inbox instead of spam with the subject "hi". Inside it says something like

"See hot naked grannys sitting at home waiting for you at poopiegranny com. oopsie . before com."

Its always the same with different description of the naked people at home waiting for me. I hate these.

m0ds · Sat 30/09/2006 21:11:53

QuoteIn a word I like to do all what like all people.

It's obviously DGMacphee.

Queen Kara · Sun 01/10/2006 14:38:45

Haha , I keep getting spam about Viagra even though I'm a woman ( which there was some way to let the idiots responsible know that I'm a woman lol ) , how to please a woman , and stuff.

monkey0506 · Sun 01/10/2006 22:54:26

1) Viagren = Some women think their men need it when the men don't. So the crush the pills and slip it into their drinks.
2) In an increasingly homosexual world, the probability of you being a lesbian is now high enough that spamvertisment companies have actually recognized the potential for the new market. Now they can send the messages to anyone regardless of the sex the message may have originally been directed at.

Gmail has wonderful spam filters. I very rarely get anything spam in my inbox, and when I do, I just mark it as spam. Problem solved.

monkey_05_06's Top Ten Spams of the moment!:

"Ever thought cre dit too complicated? Come on, it's easier than you imagine!", by Jamie
"Improve the quality of your life now, just like thousands of other people!", by Lenora
"Can you be like a man?", by Carlton Scott
"FROM $69 VIAGRA, CIALIS, XANAX, VALIUM & ALL MEDICATIONS leader raise", by LowestPriceMeds OnNet
"Best trademarks", by all. by
"my PHAormRMA", by Vova Decaro
"Sucess... stooge", by denver forest
"Re: About OEM Software", by Devin Gonzales
"Looking for perfect sex?", by Geoffrey
"my PHAgknRMA", by Moriko Nystrom

ManicMatt · Sun 01/10/2006 23:21:59

Quote from: monkey_05_06 on Sun 01/10/2006 22:54:26
2) In an increasingly homosexual world, the probability of you being a lesbian is now high enough that spamvertisment companies have actually recognized the potential for the new market. Now they can send the messages to anyone regardless of the sex the message may have originally been directed at.

You do realise the number of people being gay is in all likelyhood the same, and that it is only because being gay has become more acceptable in today's society that there is more awareness of people being of that sexuality, right? (Yet still not accepted a lot elsewhere yada yada)

MarVelo · Mon 02/10/2006 00:04:00

Um...How would being a lesbian make you need Viagra?

Lesbian and a trans-sexual is much different.

monkey0506 · Mon 02/10/2006 00:13:31

For Viagra, see reason 1. For PLEASURING YOUR WOMAN, which isn't Viagra (if ("Viagra" != "Pleasuring your woman") you.ForumStatus = eForumStatusn00b; )

, see reason 2.

Matt, you may have a valid point, though the fact that homosexuality is more widely accepted could make it easier for someone who is..."confused"...to choose homosexuality over heterosexuality than before. Could. I didn't say Would/Did/Should/[anything else that isn't "could" here]...I just said that it could.

Furthermore, I said what I said in a somewhat (SOMEWHAT!) sarcastic matter. Not entirely sarcastic. But partially. I didn't mean for it to be taken verbatim as completely literal.

[EDIT:]

BTW Matt...it's kind of obvious you've just been collecting those Angelina spams....er...rather...holding on to them. As I see they were all sent over the course of 3 days "collecting" isn't really the right word. But you've definitely not [allowed them to be] deleted them for a reason.

ManicMatt · Mon 02/10/2006 00:39:30

ooh oh no I've been caught out!

I was getting them in batches, so yes, I deleted the odd one about viagra so I could get this funny snapshot, that amused you all (and people before this thread), so my job was done. Note they are all white, meaning I aint clicked on any of them.

I always wonder how people can be confused about it. Surely you're attracted to someone or you aint! I guess I cannot understand as I have fancied only girls since whenever.

monkey0506 · Mon 02/10/2006 01:57:38

I don't know if I've officially announced it...but I for one always have been...and forseeably always will be heterosexual. I am admittedly somewhat nervous around homosexuals because I don't actually know any...and...it's not my thing...so...I don't know...it's just kind of strange and foreign to me.

I don't remember if Yahoo! has the means to mark a read email as unread...I assume it would. Any reasonable mail program/site would have that type of option.

How DO they come up with it?

m0ds